Ethical influence is the skill to help others help themselves and not to get something out of someone by manipulating them. In emotional intelligence, we speak of ethical influence to distinguish it from manipulation. You are simply attempting to help your employees or colleagues to achieve their goals and desires. For someone without a personal ethical compass and good social skills, it is very tempting and easy to manipulate others and that is not the aim of enhancing your emotional intelligence competencies and skills. Influence people's emotions by what you say and how you say it. Be genuine and sincere when you compliment your employees or colleagues on their appearance, strengths, patience, thoughtfulness, productivity, for the ideas they have contributed at a meeting or for always brightening up everyone with their kindness and compassion, their smile even when the going is rough. Simple things and genuine words of appreciation go a long way. To be an influencer organization-wide, you don't need to be a leader. But to be a leader, you need to know how to influence.

How to be an ethical influencer:

• Connect with people emotionally: If you want to intrigue and influence people, you have to get their dopamine pumping to stimulate the pleasure-reward area in the brain that makes people feel happy. A great way to do that is by having excellent conversation starters. My favorite two are: What personal passion are you currently working on? What was the best part of your day?
• Be emotionally curious: Everyone wants to be liked, loved, and accepted. When you make others feel important, your influence goes a long way. Become genuinely interested in them. A great way to do this is to ask them open-ended questions and let them talk about themselves. This helps you build rapport.
• Use high-powered body language: The head is held high, the arms are loose, the shoulders are set back, and the chest is out. When you manifest powerful body language, you are seen as more influential. Confident body language not only affects the way others see you but also the way you see yourself.
• Be vulnerable: People will perceive you as being real when you admit your weaknesses or flaws. People are able to better relate to you when you open up. Share a vulnerable story from your story toolbox. By doing this, you not only tell a great story but you also are being vulnerable, so it increases your influence in two ways.
• Ask a favor: It turns out that asking for help is one of the best things you could do to be perceived as an influential person. This is known as the Benjamin Franklin effect. So freely ask for help in the form of advice, opinions, or guidance.