And if I asked you to name all the things that you love, how long would it take for you to name yourself? Being able to feel compassion for yourself and others, when applied wisely, is all part of being emotionally intelligent.

Why does developing self-compassion matter? It matters because, without self-compassion people become miserable, stressed, overworked, develop self-hate, are self-critical, have unrealistic expectations, and even expect perfection. When you are self-critical you are also negative, hard, and judgmental towards others' problems, errors, and behaviors. This makes no one happy. Of course, knowing all the theory about self-compassion is only part of the story. Applying it, on a daily basis, to yourself is what will really make the difference to your emotional intelligence in this area. Are you willing to work on this aspect of your emotional intelligence?

Let's learn five ways to help you develop self-compassion:

• Have a success journal: At the end of each day write down all the good things you have done. It can be as little as smiling at a colleague, picking up a piece of litter in the street, or opening the door for someone. The size is irrelevant. Keep adding to this list so that each day you focus your mind on the good things you do. At the end of each week read your list.
• Reward yourself: Write down an agreement with yourself as to the reward you will get when you have achieved your goals. Choose whatever is a good reward for you. And enjoy it. Be nice to yourself. Fostering positive emotions is all part of developing your emotional intelligence and emotional resilience.
• Spread the love: Emotions are contagious. Be compassionate towards yourself, treat yourself well, look after yourself so that you can also help and care for your employees, your stakeholders, your customers, your clients, your team members, your suppliers, family, children, parents, friends, neighbors, and anyone with whom you come into contact. For example, all your team will benefit far more from you being their manager if you are kind towards yourself and them, as well as being competent, rather than you being mean or critical or off work sick and thus increasing their workload. Care for yourself so you may care for others.
• Set aside time for yourself: Compassion towards yourself can be trained as a habit. Each day, decide in advance when you will rest and relax. Each day, get into the habit of reviewing your day. It can be a time before going to work, a lunch break, an evening bath, yoga, practicing loving-kindness meditation, and so on. Everyone needs rest and relaxation. It is a basic human need. Plan your rest in advance. Developing and having compassion for ourselves is all part of developing our emotional intelligence and emotional resilience.
• Ask for help: Helping yourself by asking for help is a way of showing compassion for yourself and a good way of using your emotional intelligence. You do not have to journey through this life on your own. Do not moan that no-one is helping you if did not ask for help. Even when the work has been assigned to you and you are in trouble, ask for help. Do not worry that people will think bad of you because you want help. By asking for help you remove the tension and agony in what you are, you move more quickly through a task you may spare yourself of making mistakes, develop better relationships with your colleagues, learn new ideas, information and skills, free up time to do more rewarding activities, and at the end, you are more productive and happier.