Contemporary researchers often differentiate between affective empathy--the ability to mirror the sensations and feelings we get in response to others' emotions and cognitive empathy--the ability to identify and understand other peoples' emotions by perspective taking--putting ourselves in someone else's shoes. When you do that, you gain an understanding of why a person feels or behaves the way they do and what triggered that feeling or behavior. Then and only then can you employ the other emotional intelligence tools in order to influence or manage the emotions and behaviors of others. We human beings are, literally, wired to connect because of the mirror neurons; hence we affect one another even when we do not mean to. To build or enhance your empathy, consistently practice the following:

• Emotional listening and vulnerability: Truly listening can be a challenge. Sometimes we are just waiting to give our own opinion. Increased empathy only comes through interacting with others, so you want your conversations to be as deep and revealing as possible. In order to do that, you need to develop two interrelated skills: emotional listening and making yourself vulnerable. Removing our masks and revealing our feelings to someone is vital for creating a strong empathic bond. Empathy is a two-way street.
• Be fully present and read non-verbal communication: Put away your phone. The things we say account for only 7 percent of what we are trying to communicate. The 93 percent of the message is in our tone of voice and body language. If, while you speak with someone, you scroll through your upcoming appointments, you will miss the bulk of the message. Your mirror neurons will a fire lack of interest, lack of empathy, and lack of compassion.
• Put a smile on your face: A smile on your face is, literally, contagious. The part of your brain responsible for this facial expression is the cingulate cortex, which is an unconscious automatic response area. A smile releases dopamine and oxytocin, also known as the happiness and bonding hormones. Use them to spread good vibes and boost happiness, productivity, and efficiency.
• Call people by their name and encourage them: Encouraging people can be as simple as nodding at them while they talk in a meeting. This simple gesture, along with using their name, makes a great impact on relationship building.