We can measure the accuracy of our responses based on feedback from the helpees. If the helpees continue to explore, then we have been accurate in understanding and communicating what they have said. If we are not accurate in our responses, we cannot help them explore their experiences.
We can measure the comprehensiveness of our responding with the following scale:
| High responsiveness | — Accurate interchangeable response to meaning (feeling and content) |
| Moderate responsiveness | — Accurate interchangeable response to feeling |
| Low responsiveness | — Accurate interchangeable response to content |
Low levels of responsiveness (accurate interchangeable responses to content) are consistent with high levels of attentiveness (listening and repeating verbatim). Moderate levels of responsiveness involve responding to feeling. High levels of responsiveness involve responding to meaning (feeling and content).
LEVELS OF RESPONDING
Now we can continue to build our own cumulative rating scale for helping. If the helper is attentive and accurately responsive to meaning (feeling and content), we can rate the helper at a fully responsive level (level 3.0). If the helper is attentive but accurately responds to feeling alone, we can rate the helper at a partially responsive level (level 2.5). If the helper is attending personally, observing and listening, but accurately responding to only the content of the helpees expressions, we can rate the helper at less than a facilitative level (level 2.0).
LEVELS OF HELPING
5.0
4.5
4.0
3.5
3.0 Responding to meaning
2.5 Responding to feeling
2.0 Responding to content
1.5 Attending personally
1.0 Nonattending
LEVELS OF HELPING— ATTENDING AND RESPONDING
The function of responding to the helpees’ experiences is to facilitate their self-exploration of areas of concern. As helpers, we understand that there is no value to exploration unless it facilitates an understanding that goes beyond the material presented. Helpees, however, must first explore where they are in order to understand where they want to be.
When the helpees become able to explore themselves— their feelings, content and meaning—the helpees signal a readiness for the next goal of learning, understanding. This readiness for understanding signals helpers to begin personalizing.
FACILITATING INVOLVING AND EXPLORING
You now know something about attending and responding skills. You can practice by forming your own responses to the helpee in the following case study. You can also practice by responding to the other case studies in this book and by completing the exercises in the student workbook. Additionally, you can practice with others. You will want to continue practicing these skills until you have integrated them into your helping personality.
Case Study #2—Skilled Responding
Carol Lewis is a thirty-four-year-old woman. She is the mother of three children: four-year-old twin sons, Adam and Aaron, and a six-year-old daughter, Nancy. Carol was widowed when her husband, Mark, died of a malignant brain tumor.
During his last few weeks, Mark was in a hospital. The last four days he was in a coma. Carol stayed at the hospital with him the last five days of his life, leaving the children with her parents.
The Lewis’ were assigned to David Biloxi, a hospital social worker. Following is an excerpt of a conversation between David and Carol the day before Mark died. The conversation took place in a private lounge on Mark’s ward.
Now look at yourself in your “mind’s eye!” You will find the clues to your readiness to relate at deeper levels:
• Are you flying from the helpees?
• Are you fighting with the helpees?
• Are you relating to the helpees?
Are you really relating—moving toward them, “peeling away” the layers of conditioned facade, discovering their own personal mysteries, generating new directions in their lives. The personal implications of your readiness for this commitment are profound for them—and for you!
RESPONDING 
PREPARING FOR PERSONALIZING