Have you heard the one about …
A German, an American and an Englishman each needed to produce a business plan.
The German had invented a new gizmo for saving water. He took his idea to the
European Commission in Brussels and received a grant to conduct a feasibility study.
Three months and many tens of thousands of euros later, he had a multiple-volume
business plan prepared for him by one of the top international accounting firms.
The painstakingly detailed plan covered every aspect of the business – the
organisational structure, the management team, the competition, start-up activities,
manufacturing, licensing, marketing, distribution and sales. It set out the funding
requirements and operating budgets, and it included a detailed analysis of the risks.
He packed it into two large briefcases and hand-carried it to the Philippines where,
for various reasons, he had decided to locate his manufacturing plant. There he
would set about finding a joint-venture partner. At the end of a long flight, when
a local representative of the accounting firm greeted him, he was uncomfortably
aware that his forthcoming presentations of the plan were critical to getting his
business off the ground.
The American was the Vice-President of a large organisation in Silicon Valley.
She ran an important customer-support division and had to prepare the annual
business plan. She began with a series of meetings with department heads. Over
four weeks they conducted a thorough review of the year to date, up-dated their
competitor analysis, brainstormed ways to reduce response time and improve
customer satisfaction, and devised a strategy for increasing their efficiency.
The next month was spent refining the strategy into a detailed plan, costing it and
preparing budgets, and documenting this in the corporation’s house style. On a
bright October afternoon she walked into the Board Room. Carefully laid out on
the highly polished table were ten ring binders, each containing a copy of her 124-
page divisional business plan. This first presentation of the plan was critical to her
career and she was expecting tough questions.
The young English entrepreneur ran a successful advertising business. His first-ever
business plan had helped raise start-up funding from a specialist venture capital
provider. The next few annual plans steered him through the early difficulties and
successes. Now, five years from the day that he started, he needed a new plan to
support a request for a bank loan to fund an expansion programme. He knew exactly
what he wanted to achieve, both with the plan and when putting it into effect.
Over a two-week period he burnt the midnight oil preparing a slim 20-page plan
outlining the history of the business, detailing the expansion programme and
setting out in excruciating detail the financial numbers. He felt supremely confident
on the morning that he carried the slim volume into his bank manager’s office.
HAVE YOU HEARD THE ONE ABOUT … 3