INDEX
Agricultural revolution. See Hunter-gatherers
Alexithymia, normative male, 100
“All for One and One for All”, 143
Anger, 101-102
Archetypal psychology, 156—157
Archetypes, 27—28, 47, 50, 51, 53—54. See also Heroes
Avengers, The (movie series), 52
Baboon behavior, 37—38
Ben (patient of Adams), 23—24, 27, 28, 41, 53, 60—62
Benevolent warrior, 51
Bond, Tony, 86—87
Boredom, 126
Boundaries, personal, 61
Brady, Tom, 137
Brannon, Robert, 34
Brotherly love (philia), 9—10, 125
Buscaglia, Leo, 126
Campbell, Joseph, 47
Change Your Questions, Change Your Life: 12 Powerful Tools for Leadership, Coaching, and Life (Adams), 73
Cisgender men, xx—xxi
Climate change, 5—6
Commitment, 84—88. See also Five Cs
Compassion, 78—81, 102—104. See also Self-compassion; specific topics
as an always-available option, 107—109
courageous, 109—110
ingredients of, 104—107
religion and, 58
Compassion and connection, 9—11
the liberating power of, 11—13
Compassionate and connected lens, 160—161
Confined man (men), 2—3, 14, 29—30. See also specific topics
Confined man
a confusion, frustrating economy for, 145-146
defined, 2
dethroning, 56
overview and nature of, 2-4, 27-30
roots of, 34-37
taking the measure of, 39-41
terminology, 25
and the 21st century, 4-7
Confined masculinity crouch, 3, 8, 30-31, 146
Confined self, 25-26
Connection(s), 81-84. See also Compassion and connection; Five Cs
to connect or not to connect, 123-124
connected for good, 55-57
importance, 81-82
intimate, 118-119
with life, 126-128
to nature, 119-120
at work, 126
Connection complications, 120-123
Courage, 74-78. See also Five Cs
etymology of the term, 75
Courageous compassion, 109-110
COVID-19 pandemic, xxii Crouch
confined masculinity, 3, 8, 30-31, 146
Crouch-crouch effect, 31
Crouching stance, 109
Curiosity, 70-74. See also Five Cs
Curry, Stephen (“Steph”), 144-145
Defensive crouch. See Crouch Depression, 4, 53, 179n3
Nathan’s liberation from, 57-58
Discussion guide, 189-190
“Divine Feminine”, 161
confined masculinity and, 2, 30
toxic masculinity and, 62
Downward growth, 49-50
Egalitarian world, 36, 41, 180n8
Elizabeth Taylor 50-Plus Network, 122-123
Empathy compassion and, 78-80, 94, 103
gender, 172
Evolution, 36. See also Hunter-gatherers
Extended self
vs. confined self, 25-26
definition and nature of, 26, 48, 58
liberating masculinity and, 48, 49,58
Farming. See Hunter-gatherers Fears associated with confined masculinity, 14-15. See also Homophobia
Feelings, bottled up, 32-33
50-Plus Network, 122-123
Five Cs, 20, 41, 66-67, 89, 110, 129, 133, 153, 165-166. See also Commitment; Compassion; Connection(s); Courage; Curiosity
combination of the, 88-89
For All Leaders, 143—144
Fox, Matthew, 161
Frauenheim, Julius, 80—81
Game of Thrones (TV show), 56
Gender (in)equality, 36
hunter-gatherers and, xi, 35, 36, 180n6, 180n8
Gender bending and mending, xx—xxii
Gender empathy approach, 172
Gender roles, shifts in and fluidity of, 4
Gilbert, Paul, ix—xiii, 37, 95, 180n8
Godbeer, Richard, 121—122
Golden State Warriors (basketball team), 144—145
Great Place to Work, 135, 140, 149
For All Leaders and, 143
Great Place to Work for All, A (Bush et al.), 135, 143
Great Places to Work for All, 143
Greeks, ancient, 24—25
Green, Jeff, 137—138
Groups, questions to discuss in, 189—190
“Growing downward”, 49—50
Hero with a Thousand Faces, The (Campbell), 47
Hillman, James, 156
definitions and meanings of the term, 121
Hunter-gatherers, x—xi, 35, 36, 95
gender (in)equality and, xi, 35, 180n6, 180n8
Hyde, Janet Shibley, 38
Imagination, xxiii, 161
high stakes and active imaginations, xxii—xxiii
Industrial Age, 139
Information Age, 139
Interpersonal distance, 61
Intimacy, 118—119
Intolerance of sexual variation, 33—34
Jackson (M3 member), 97—98, 109—110
Jeff (patient of Adams), 45—48
Jerry (patient of Adams), 11—12, 65, 78—79
John (patient of Adams), 1—2, 11, 75—78
reinvented, 17—20
“Judger” vs. “learner” mindset, 73—74
Jungle, law of the, 37—38
Kelsang Gyatso, Geshe, 59
Laloux, Frederic, 150—152
“Learner” vs. “judger” mindset, 73—74
Lenses, 160—162
Levant, Ronald F., 100
Liberating masculinity. See also specific topics
at firms small and large, 148—150
Liberating masculinity (continued) gets to work, 147—148
more ways and more means, 54—55
overview and nature of, 7—9, 55, 57
pop culture and, 47
terminology, 48—50
three ways to live out a, 19
Lieberman, Matthew, 170
Love
between men, 124—125
M3. See Men Mentoring Men Male psychology, 37
Man of steel
confined, 141—142
from the man of steel to men of teal, 150—151
Marriage, 163—164
Marsh, Travis, 131—133, 141, 151—153
Marty (patient of Adams), 102
Masculinity(ies), 25. See also specific topics
definitions, 25
elements of, 34
a masculinity that makes less cents, 139—140
terminology, 25
Masculinity Self-Assessment. See Reinventing Masculinity Self-Assessment “Me and we” perspective, 59, 62, 87, 103
freedom and, 49
liberating masculinity and, 49, 57
nature of, 6
shift from “me” perspective to, 6, 58,59, 63, 64 95, 100
“Me” focus
confined masculinity and, 57
confined self and, 26
“Me” orientation, 108
anger and, 102
“Me” thinking, 59—61
Meditation, 85. See also Mindfulness
Men. See also specific topics legendary virtuous, 69—70
things to do, 194—195
Men Mentoring Men (M3)
members, 18, 65, 97, 128, 147, 148
overview and nature of, 11, 63—64, 66, 124—125
Men Mentoring Men (M3)
meetings, 11, 78—79, 97, 98, 102, 109
attending first meeting, 124
Misogyny, 33—34
Model men, 69—70
Murthy, Vivek, 113
Mythology, Greek, 24—25
Nathan (patient of Adams), 80
liberation from depression, 57—58
Nature, connection to, 119—120
Neff, Kristin, 99
Ogawa, Brian, 58
Paul (M3 member), 147—148
Peace, compassion, death, and life, 105, 107
Personal space, 61
Philia (brotherly love), 9-10, 125
Pitt, Brad, 76-78
Pragmatic lens, 160
Psychology, 157
Questions to ponder and discuss, 189-190
Rabinowitz, Fredric E., 32
Ramos, Raúl, 82-84
Reinventing Masculinity Self-Assessment, xx, 90, 191
ReinventingMasculinity.com, 90
Reinvention of masculinity. See also specific topics a conscious, soulful, 15-16
Religion, 58-59
Rilke, Rainer Maria, 62
Role models, 69-70
Roy (patient of Adams), 113-115, 128
“Rugged individual”, fantasy of the, 60
Ryan, Christopher, 180n6, 180n8
San Francisco AIDS Foundation, 122,123
Sapolsky, Robert M., 36-38
Scarcity, finiteness and, 26-27
benefits of developing, 9, 95, 97-101, 103
Self-criticism, criticizing, 100-102
Self-improvement, 85-86
“Self-made man”, fantasy of a, 29
Seppälä, Emma, 95-96
Sexism, stuck with intolerance and, 33-34
Shame and shaming, 9, 11, 30-32, 62, 63
Social space, 61
“Soft skills”, 13
“Soft” stuff, 81
Sopranos, The (TV show), 56
Soul, 154-165
definition and nature of, 155
lens of the, 161
of the marriage, 163-164
of masculinity, 175-176
Soulful man, 158-159
Soulful masculinity, 16, 57, 160, 164-165. See also Liberating masculinity
Soulful reinvention of masculinity, a conscious, 15-16
Space between people, 61
Sportsmanship, good, 134
Suicidal isolation, 114-115, 118
Superheroes, ix-x
expanding, 52
Sweet, Holly Barlow, 172
Teal, men of
from the man of steel to, 150-151
Teal companies and organizations, 151
Teal mindset, 150-151
Teal movement, 150
Team, no “I” in, 136
Technology, 106
Television shows, 56
Teresa, Mother, 101-102
Toxic masculinity, xxii, 62, 156
and the liberating man, 62 210
Turkel, Studs, 135’—136
Tutu, Desmond, 58—59
Wade (patient of Adams), 108
“We” thinking, 62. See also “Me and we” perspective
Weddle, Jim, 72—74
Wilbur, Ken, 35
Women, xii. See also Misogyny
Work
confined masculinity at, 132—135, 138—139
from confined to expanding at, 142—144
connections at, 126
observing and advancing the world of, 135—138