Introduction
“Words mean more than what is set down on papers; it takes the human voice to infuse them with shades of deeper meaning.”
There is little doubt that communication is one of man’s most important tools. We use the tool (speaking, listening, graphic expression, and writing) to make sense of our world; to interact with other people; to network; and to express our feelings, moods, and intent. Communications, particularly our words, affect who and what we are as a species. How we use words has a major impact on the kind of world we create for ourselves and others.
In all of man’s interpersonal connections, the relationship between a guidance professional, coach, teacher, or mentor and client/protégé is one that puts more demands on good communication skills than almost any other relationship other than spouse or partner. Career counselors, career coaches, and mentors tend to be more forward thinking, visionary, positive, progressive, proactive, and interpersonal with their clients and protégés than business managers and their subordinates.
A business manager and his or her subordinates do not have the kind of relationship that is forged between a career coach and client or that of mentor and protégé. One reason is the business manager, unlike the career coach and mentor, does not get to pick his or her team. Consequently, the relationship tends to remain fairly formal and business oriented.
Another reason is the business manager does not always have the range of tools or approaches available to the career coaches, counselors, and mentors. The range of tools includes, but is not limited to, dialogue, feedback, verbal and written exercises, inspirational stories, books, blogs, presentations, and the most impactful tool: face-to-face communications—what is said, how it is said, and the body language used while speaking.
The third reason is business managers are still debating whether or not their management function is a profession or not, whereas career counseling and coaching and mentoring are professional positions with recognized guidelines, standards, benchmarks, and other formal approaches to guide the relationship with students, clients, and protégés.
The interpersonal relationship that career counselors, coaches, and mentors have with their clients and protégés includes communication skills that are even more critical than used by business managers because the individual’s career and possibly his or her lifelong aspirations are in the balance. For this reason, the communications must be direct, absolutely clear, and based on honesty and trust.
There is a quotation attributed to Plutarch, although there are no sources that can trace it to him, which goes, “When Cicero spoke, people said, ‘How well Cicero speaks!’ But, when Demosthenes spoke, they said, ‘Let us march against Phillip.’” The point here is that when leaders speak, it is usually, but not always, to persuade. Sometimes the purpose is to inform, but as Rudyard Kipling said, “Words are the most powerful drug used by mankind” so whenever we speak, we are using a powerful human tool. Thomas Fuller may have said it best, “When the heart is afire, some sparks will fly out of the mouth.” This book will give you some sparks.
There are trade associations and professional societies, courses, books, videos, journals, blogs, Web sites, and other media, which you can access to help you become better in your skill. In this book, you will not learn specific skills of being a better career counselor, a more capable career coach, a more effective mentor, or even a better leader. You can, however, become better at what you do by becoming a much better communicator—getting to the exact point; saying what you want to say; getting your exact meaning down cold with no equivocation, no hesitation, and no misunderstanding the meaning.
This book isn’t about public speaking, oration, rhetoric, or even how to deliver a good presentation. You will not learn detailed skills of visualization, or in-depth channeling of your message. You will not learn details of tone, cadence, pitch, or resonance. You will not learn the details of nonverbal body language such as hand and arm gestures. However, it is a book that will introduce these concepts (and hopefully you will explore them further on your own). It is a book that can help make you a better, more powerful communicator because it will help you choose the most powerful verbs—the spark of sentences—that will resonate deeply with people, powerful verbs that people will react to and remember. I am referring to the power verbs that are the flame that makes phrases and sentences that will ignite peoples’ passions, the power verbs that kindle, illuminate purpose, and make people want to take action...to march on Phillip.
Michael Faulkner