Ingredient: Self-Confidence Skills

One of the most significant barriers to marketing that many independent professionals face is feeling as if they don’t have what it takes. You may at times feel fearful, reluctant, or inadequate about aspects of marketing, selling, or the business itself. You may also think you are alone in feeling this way, or that there must be something wrong with you because you find promoting yourself to be such a challenge.

The first step to building stronger self-confidence skills for marketing is often to recognize that a certain amount of fear, resistance, and self-doubt is completely normal. Every entrepreneur or salesperson fears being rejected at times. It’s natural to experience reluctance about tasks that we find difficult or distasteful. Wondering whether you have the skills or experience needed to promote or even to run a business is an ordinary occurrence. So you are definitely not alone!

Businesspeople who seem to not be troubled by inner saboteurs like these typically fall into two categories. Either they entered the world of business with a high level of self-confidence already, or they have learned to act more self-confidently in the course of building their businesses. You too can learn to do this.

Psychologists maintain that confidence is a learnable skill. Building your self-confidence can be accomplished in a wide variety of ways. Here are some suggestions:

Practice in a safe environment. Try out your 10-second introduction, phone script, or speaking topic with friends, colleagues, or a coach. Ask them to focus not on helping you improve your content, but on receiving what you have to say positively and telling you what they liked about it.

Learn from role models. Observe or read about a confident person who you admire. This could be a public figure (e.g., Sophia Loren or Martin Luther King, Jr.), fictitious character (e.g., Sam Spade or Princess Leia), or someone you know. How could you emulate what you admire about that person when conducting your business?

Prepare and learn. Tackle the areas that give you the most trouble as if they were a school project. Research cold calling, for example, or take notes about networking. Write a paper about public speaking, or read articles on interacting with referral sources. Script out what you might say and rehearse in front of a mirror or video camera. Learning and preparation can take the edge off anxiety.

Take a confidence course. Sign up for a ropes course, or take a martial arts class. Learn how to drive a race car or dive from a highboard. Try hang gliding, bungee jumping, or fire walking. Go on a vision quest or learn to scuba dive. Physically challenging activities like these with an element of danger can increase your confidence quickly.

Use positive self-talk. Counter negative messages you are sending yourself with positive responses. When you notice yourself thinking, “I don’t know how,” remind yourself that, “I’m learning a new skill, and I’ll get better with practice.” If you feel as if, “No one will want to hire me,” tell yourself, “Not everyone will hire me, but if I keep asking, someone will.”

Relax and stay grounded. Reduce tension and your overall stress level with relaxation and grounding techniques like deep breathing, meditation, visual imagery, slow tempo music, yoga, Tai Chi, hot baths, herbal tea, or massage.

Shift your perspective about marketing. Remind yourself that marketing is an avenue to being able to serve more people, make use of your talents, and have an impact on the world. It’s also the path to gaining the independence, flexibility, and fulfillment a thriving business can provide.

View your prospective clients differently. When you are struggling to get business, it’s easy to slip into the mindset that your clients are adversaries whom you must overpower, outwit, or reel in. Instead, think of you and your prospects as allies working together for a common cause—solving the problems or achieving the goals that your business addresses.

Practice gratitude and abundance. Break away from feeling that marketing is a burden and clients are scarce by being grateful for all the progress you make and remembering that opportunities are everywhere. Try keeping a gratitude journal, where you note all the rewards your business brings you each day.

Act as if you were confident. It’s actually possible to build confidence by behaving as if you already have it. Imagine how you would act if you were twice as confident as you are now, then do your best to behave that way. Acting “as if” gets confidence into your bones by allowing you to experience what it feels like.

Choose just one of the approaches above, or another confidence-builder that appeals to you, and dedicate time to work with it regularly.