You cannot always survive just by applying the competencies that you use well. Either a situation demands that you use an approach that is not your natural strength or others try to test you out in your least strong areas, be they customers, students, critics or your boss. A tennis player can always hold a racquet with their preferred hand, but a footballer who can only kick a ball with their right foot is not likely to be a major success at national level. For most of us, building up a basic competence in our non-preferred areas is unavoidable.

When I am coaching leaders, I often seek verbal feedback from their boss, peers and the staff reporting to them. I then summarise generic themes about strengths and areas to reflect on, which I feed back to the individual. Examples of areas to reflect on following verbal 360° feedback might include:

I invite individuals to consider the areas to reflect on and decide where they want to take action or not. Sometimes they say they do not wish to change their approach, while on other issues they want to be clear on their next steps.

Sometimes what others regard as your least strong areas are not features that you want to change. While it is right to take account of the views of others, you are the best judge about whether you want to change in an area that others have reservations about; although if the comments are coming from your boss, there is a much greater incentive to adapt your approach! Where your staff are expressing reservations, careful discussion with them about why you take certain approaches can make a big difference and help you judge whether it is in fact necessary to change your approach.

Developing your least strong areas normally requires an action plan involving:

You would not be the first person to feel least strong in certain areas. Kevin White, a highly experienced HR director, gives this advice:

Helen was very conscious that she had a strong need for recognition. She was increasingly self-aware about the need to manage her own reactions in different circumstances. She was conscious that her need for recognition meant that she did not always react emotionally to a situation in the most appropriate way. Her reflections as she learnt to deal with situations were:

Helen's experience illustrates how a vulnerability can be dealt with by being self-aware and:

In their book Now, Discover Your Strengths, Marcus Buckingham and Donald Clifton talk about a weakness as 'anything that gets in the way of excellent performance'. They discuss five creative strategies for managing a talent out of a weakness:

Sometimes you can reframe what some regard as a weakness as a strength. For example, you may be criticised for delaying making a decision when in fact you are good at waiting for the right moment to be decisive. Some may see you as too soft-hearted when really you are building up the maximum amount of understanding about how people are reacting in a particular situation.

It can be very helpful to use the language of preferences rather than least strong areas. For example, the MBTI® questionnaire (the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator® questionnaire is a leading personality and self-development tool) assesses preferences on four dimensions, each consisting of two opposite sides. The normal way to introduce the MBTI questionnaire is to talk about the concept of preferences and encourage people to write their signature first with their preferred hand and then with their non-preferred hand. The usual comment is that writing your signature with the preferred hand feels quick, is effortless and easy. Writing with the non-preferred hand can feel slow, awkward and unnatural but is possible. This exercise is a good way to illustrate the concept of preference.

The four dimensions used in the MBTI framework are set out in Box 2. They represent these key preferences:

The MBTI approach encourages people to assess themselves into one particular, overall preference type, but there is also a clear emphasis on the individual recognising when they need to use each of the eight preferences. The results from the MBTI assessment process can lead to a constructive conversation about developing the preferences they use less often. The MBTI approach is often very valuable in enabling people to see how they have used their least strong preferences to good effect and how they could use them more effectively in the future.

Some people have reservations about using the language of weaknesses or least strong areas. While it is undermining to focus on weaknesses too much, an expert in any sphere is conscious of their least strong areas. Describing them as less developed preferences can be helpful, but it can also be a distortion of reality. When you are not good at doing something it is often better to be honest about it rather than describe it as a less developed preference.

Philippa was always focused on getting results. When she was told that her unrelenting focus was a source of considerable irritation to her colleagues, she was annoyed and resentful. It was her determination that had ensured good progress had been made in addressing difficult issues. She found it difficult to accept that her approach could be demeaning to others and sap their energy and resolve.

Eventually a colleague plucked up the courage to be frank with Philippa and quietly but firmly told her that she needed to modify her approach or lose people's goodwill even more. She protested that she was not very good at the 'people stuff' and was not convinced it was important in any case. Reluctantly, she agreed to work with a coach on how best to rebuild relationships with colleagues and find a new, more constructive way of working with them.

Philippa was never going to be a naturally empathetic person, but she began to work hard at building shared agendas. Gradually her reputation for demeaning others disappeared. Philippa still demonstrated a clear focus, but carried people with her more effectively now. She was grateful that a good colleague had been honest with her and encouraged her to develop a modified approach to working with colleagues.

When George did his self-assessment at the start of a coaching programme, he was clear that the areas where he wanted to grow and develop were about inner confidence, being able to speak authoritatively, acquiring more natural authority and developing the insight that comes with doing a job really well. He felt that he was always trying to catch up. He wanted to be ahead of the game and not behind it.

In terms of developing inner confidence, George reflected on occasions when his inner confidence had been there in one-to-one conversations and in crisis situations when quick decisions were needed and when logical decisions were being worked through. He said that his inner confidence was less good when competing issues were coming at him, when he was in a group full of people who had lots to say and in some fast-moving situations when he found it difficult to make an impact.

We talked about the importance of focusing on the positive aspects of a situation, as he tended to consider the negative aspects first. We talked about focusing on when the positive had worked successfully and having as his mantra the phrase 'Just do it', to help him overcome his reticence.

With a combination of these steps George found his inner confidence growing. There was new evidence that he could be confident in situations where he had previously felt unsure of himself. He made marked progress through a step-by-step approach, gradually overcoming what he perceived as a weakness. The result was much more effective contributions in a range of different types of meetings.

Observing yourself and laughing at yourself can provide a very good basis for becoming more relaxed about your strengths and areas that are less strong. Once you become more accepting and amused by your least strong areas, a transformation can begin. You can become more at one with yourself and more effective in contributing in situations where you previously felt much less at home.