You may be clear where you want your destination to be. You might think that you have a very clear pathway ahead of you, but then all of a sudden the direction doesn't appear quite so straightforward. The distant horizon has been replaced by the swirling fog in front of you. It now feels as if you are looking through a glass darkly. What was once certain has now become uncertain. The fixed points have begun to disappear, your champions are nowhere to be seen. It is not always that easy to get used to the fact that the tide has turned. Sometimes it is only by forcing yourself to be patient that you are able to recognise that a tide can ebb and flow.
Living with the ebbs and flows of life is inevitable. When life is going your way, be thankful for your good fortune and take opportunities when they arise. When life doesn't go your way, keep your equilibrium and don't allow your well-being to be destroyed. Taking knocks will not be easy, but accepting the inevitability of the ebbs and flows of life can build your enjoyment of what is good and your resilience to cope with what is painful.
The strong swimmer will develop the capacity to go with the flow, stand up to the waves, avoid drowning, come up for air or move to a different bay. These capabilities also apply to an individual reflecting on where to go next.
Going with the flow means that the swimmer reaches their destination more quickly than their arms alone will carry them. It means having a clear line of sight and modifying your trajectory to take account of the prevailing current. It involves recognising that sometimes you are in the right place at the right time and able to take full advantage of the situation to take you forward to the next place.
When you have champions, align yourself with them and follow in their slipstream. Success from going with the flow is not about complacency but about investing in networks, colleagues and supporters so that you build up a bank of goodwill for the future. Going with the flow is about being optimistic and seeing change as an opportunity and not a threat. It might mean making your own luck by having the confidence to see opportunities where the water flows strongly in one direction.
It also means bringing generosity of spirit to situations and people, and not trumpeting your own good fortune. What is important is to keep your champions, be at the right place at the right time, follow the opportunities and invest in your supporters.
Swimming against the tide is no fun and requires dogged endurance. Standing up to the waves is part of coping with happenstance. You may be facing wave after wave of problems or criticism that appears relentless. Part of coping with it comes from believing that the storm will not be for ever. It is accepting that there may be a succession of pounding waves with repeated blows to the chest and that you may have to 'roll with the punches' for a while, drawing on your stores of resilience. Believe that the storm will pass and hold on to your self-belief.
An experienced swimmer will keep a rhythm in their breathing and avoid taking unnecessary risks. Try not to get out of your depth and ensure that you have trusted friends along with you who will spot the signals if you begin to get out of control. Hold onto your values and the rhythms of life that keep you going. Don't panic even when the waves grow stronger and threaten to engulf you.
Success is about holding on to your strengths and using them in a focused way. Be ready to cope with random events, be supported by trusted friends, and seek coaching so that you are kept sharp and efficient.
A good swimmer will also know about the ebbs and flows of the tide and will take account of the currents as they plan their swim. Success as a leader is often about recognising those ebbs and flows. Sometimes you are in the wrong place at the wrong time: success then is recognising that reality and moving on. You can be hugely successful one year and be regarded as a failure the next. You are the same person bringing the same attributes, but fashions or moods alter and reputations can change rapidly for little apparent reason.
Recognising the ebbs and flows is about accepting that life is not fair. You may have striven hard to reach one objective, but as you get close to that goal the wind has changed and you find yourself going in the wrong direction. Moving on involves accepting that you may need to make a fresh start.
Believe that even when the tide is against you, it will turn; that cycles can be broken and that all of a sudden there can be a breakthrough. It might be helpful to see failure as the start of the tide turning and accept that there can be new life when that happens.
How strong are your lungs? An experienced swimmer needs to come up for air on a regular basis. Sometimes you may think that success in dealing with a situation is all about keeping your head down and using your energy to keep on a predetermined trajectory, but breathing fresh air is crucial. You need to be taking in new sources of energy and developing that lung power.
Coming up for air is about persistence and continually seeking a necessary intake of oxygen. Draw inspiration from 'parallel worlds' so that energy in one area can permeate other areas of your life.
Even the strongest swimmer may decide that the time has come to move to a different bay. The pounding of the waves and the strength of the tides may be a source of exhilaration or exhaustion. Switching to a new place can be a recognition of reality and not a sign of weakness.
When external events have begun to erode your energy or credibility, it may be right to say 'enough is enough'. If relationships are broken, it might not be worth the investment to repair them. Sometimes you need to accept the reality that the tide has turned. Is it time to reinvent yourself, to seek new sources of energy or to deploy your strengths in a new way in a new place, while remaining true to the values that are most important to you?
Be ready to move on. Allow yourself some curiosity about what swimming in new waters will be like and believe in your ability to cope with any major change that will bring.
You will recover again when the current begins to flow in your direction.
Sometimes when the tide turns it can create new beginnings, at other times it can feel like previous hopes are being dashed. Abdul had had a sequence of very interesting jobs. He had built a network of supporters who always spoke well of him. He seemed to be on a pathway to great success. He had just been appointed to a very big role, but then his boss left and the replacement wanted to bring in his own team. So for the first time Abdul tasted rejection and removal from a post to which he thought he was well suited. His first reaction was one of anger followed by depression. There was a danger that his crossness and his dejection could have got out of hand. Because he had never been rejected before, the emotions were high in their intensity.
Abdul gradually came to terms with the situation, helped by wise counsel from different friends and colleagues, and he now regards this incident as one of the most formative of his career. It made him realise that success was not guaranteed and that it was not only what he managed to deliver that mattered. He recognised that he could be at the mercy of other people's decisions and preferences, which was a hard lesson to take. Abdul became a more resilient and stronger individual as a result of this experience. He recognised that living with the tough times was just as important as taking advantage of the good times.
When the tide is going your way, find time to ask yourself some key questions:
How do I maximise 'going with the flow'?
How best do I keep my humility when things are going well?
How do I take advantage of the good times and build up my capabilities and resources for the less good times?
How best do I support those who are struggling when things are going well for me?
How best do I guard against self-satisfaction and keep up my generosity of spirit?
And when the tide turns against you:
How can I hold my nerve in these situations?
How best do I guard against any feeling of resentment or anger?
How best do I keep my sense of perspective and allow life to be influenced by my values rather than my vanity?
The person who can keep their equilibrium through good and bad times is the person best equipped to deal with whatever life throws at them. Observing yourself to see how you have coped when the tide turns on small things (like success or failure in a particular task) can help you prepare for when the tide turns on big things (such as losing your job or major changes in your family situation).
