Resilience is about coping with the buffeting that comes from decision making in a faster world. It involves holding firm to principles and values when all around seem to be losing theirs. It is about not letting the gremlins get you when you are struck by self-doubt or fear part way through a task. Growing your resilience involves recognising that you are in it for the long haul, pacing the use of your energy, knowing how to recover from defeat and being conscious what your self-worth is based on, so that criticism becomes positive input and not destructively negative.
Long-distance runners develop their stamina through regular training and building up a high level of resistance to pain or exhaustion. Resilience is a combination of resistance to pain and recognising the benefits of what you are trying to deliver.
Gordon McDonald has held a number of different leadership roles in government organisations. His resilience has grown through successive demanding jobs. He comments:
Resilience is the most under-rated aspect of leadership. It is important you stick with it. When the going gets tough you need to keep telling yourself it will be OK over time.
It is important to take opportunities. It is spotting them when they are there. It is taking a deep breath and then a leap. The trick is not to overanalyse every situation: you sometimes have to jump.
It is important to trust your own instincts. When someone mentioned a job to me I felt excited about it. It instinctively felt OK. I had a positive, gut feeling. It is important to remember that nothing stays the same. If you are doing a job that is comfortable you do have to remember that you will have to move on. It is important to move on to the right job at the right time. Sometimes, even if the time is not quite right, it can be important still to move on. You want to avoid the thought: 'What if I had been bold enough to go for something, what would that have been like?'
Resilience allows leaders not only to accept change but to learn and thrive in it during great challenging times. It enables them to demonstrate flexibility, durability and have an attitude of realistic optimism. Resilience means dealing effectively with challenging circumstances, seeing uncertainty as an opportunity and not a threat.
How resilient are you? Ask yourself:
Am I pacing myself and taking care of myself physically? Challenging times can be protracted, so eating and sleeping well is crucial.
Instead of ten trips of one day, is it possible to do four or five trips of two days each, allowing better-quality time for people and less wear and tear on me? This may seem easier said than done, but avoiding unnecessary 'virility tests' can be very important.
Am I looking after my self-esteem? Those with mental strength will be giving lots of support to others and thereby ensuring collective survival, not just their own.
Am I recognising what gives me vitality outside the work situation and allowing that source of vitality to grow, whether it is around family, community, faith, sport or recreational interests?
Am I protecting enough time for me as an individual to breathe, reflect, be encouraged and uplifted?
Am I recognising the positive anchors in my life and nurturing them unashamedly?
Developing your own resilience can include looking out to see how others are coping. It can mean encouraging others to find their own ways of looking after themselves and building resilience when under sustained pressure. This can have a mirroring effect, raising your own level of resilience.
Any individual who has never made a wrong decision is either arrogant, blind to the impact of their actions or lying! Although your life may be littered with wrong decisions, in one sense there is no such thing as a wrong decision if you ensure that you gain effective learning from all the decisions you make.
When you have made a mistake, remember:
Admit that you have made a mistake and do not try to cover it up.
Stop digging holes for yourself by making the situation worse.
Be clear what your learning has been through this experience and demonstrate through your words and actions what you have learned.
Be conscious of the audit trail. Be explicit as to why you made a particular decision and the considerations you were taking into account.
Be ready to position yourself differently on the next decision of a similar nature so that you do not fall into the same trap again.
Ask others how they have moved on after they have taken wrong decisions.
Allow yourself to be encouraged by the experience of others.
Accept that some people will blame you.
Accept that you may be able to move on more easily than others.
Try to draw a line under the event in your mind so that it does not become a recurring nightmare.
Regard every experience of a decision that goes wrong as an invaluable part of your life.
In his book On Leadership, Allan Leighton records a key leadership lesson from Mark Thompson, the chief executive of the BBC: 'It is not the hit but your reaction and recovery time that will make a difference.'
This point is a very telling one. If you take a knock, others will notice it. How you respond will reflect on how your contribution and leadership are perceived and will also influence the way others behave. If your colleagues and staff see you as resilient, they are likely to mirror the same behaviour. If they see you disappearing defeated, that will be their inclination too. This is not about macho behaviour that ignores current reality or suppresses your honest reaction, but about engaging with your vulnerabilities in private rather than in public, at least in the first instance.
Acknowledging how you have responded to knocks and moved on can be a very powerful message. The impact is often greater as a completed story told after the event rather than sharing anguish widely as it happens.
It is worth reflecting on the following questions:
