In the hard-nosed world of business, politics, colleges or hospitals, it seems a distraction to talk about personal relationships with family and friends who are most important to you. Where do relationships fit in when you are having a demanding time at work? Love is about how you treat those around you, be it in your family, your community or at work. It is also about loving yourself in a way that nurtures and does not abuse.
You may think that your family and friends will always be there, so is there a danger that you take them for granted? Nurturing relationships with family and friends is rarely a wasted investment in the long term. Strong bonds of love and affection with those who are important to you will keep you grounded and able to put the pressures of the day into a more measured perspective.
Love is not about inconsequential gossip, it is about respect for other individuals and supporting them through thick and thin. Love comes from mutual regard, shared values, emotional empathy and a shared sense of being on a journey. In the words of the first letter to the Corinthians:
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonour others. It is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always perseveres. (1 Corinthians, Chapter 13, verses 4–7, NIV)
Love is about how you order your life and bring discipline to the way you look after yourself and those for whom you care. Love is having practical compassion when that is needed and not judging people when they are down. As well as bringing encouragement, love might involve challenging people to think in new ways within bonds of companionship, and not out of competitiveness or spite.
A popular song a few decades ago spoke about love 'making the world go round'. Empathy, companionship, mutual support and looking after each other provide the means through which you rub along in harmony and not in discord with colleagues. Without a combination of respect and affection, organisations soon slip into discordant relationships. At a personal level, without love you are a fractured and muted human being.
So cherish those closest to you. Give up aspects of your ambition when your family and friends need you and order your priorities so that you have quality time with the young people in your life who are important to you. The flexibility provided by IT today gives a much greater opportunity to be flexible in your working patterns and to be with family members at times most important to them.
Some key questions might be:
When are your family and friends more important than your work?
When do you give your best quality time to the young people in your life?
How readily do you listen to family and friends about what is most important to them?
Loving yourself sounds indulgent, but it is about respecting yourself and being concerned about your physical, emotional, intellectual and spiritual well-being. If you love yourself, you enable your body, mind, heart and spirit to be refreshed and renewed. Practical things to think about include:
Can you use weekends more to build the bonds of love with your family and friends and to relax?
What are the activities that will provide renewal and relaxation and be special times with family and friends?
What types of reading, travel or music will relax you and mean that you are more open to the companionship of others?
What type of place enables you to be at peace with yourself and be renewed?
