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When you want to remove someone’s final reason for saying “no”
My mum says “you know you’re getting older when you bend down to tie your shoes and think ‘what else can I do while I’m down here?’ ”
You see, there’s always a positive if you look hard enough.
Which is good because life’s full of people who love to say “The answer’s no. Now what was your question?” Life is also full of people who are nearly convinced, but aren’t quite. Both stop you moving forward with your plans.
One way around this – and you won’t believe how easy this sounds, nor how often it works – is to simply include a negative in your question. For example:
So when they say “no”, it means “no, there aren’t any reasons why we shouldn’t”. In other words, “we should”!
In fact, there are only two possible answers they can give to “negative questions” like this. These, and the steps that follow, are:
And doesn’t this look oh-so-easy in a book?!
But, to be honest, it works pretty well in real life too, as long as you remember:
- When they say “no”, they’ve said you can start. So, start.
- Build instant momentum by – immediately after they’ve agreed – say what you’ll do, to get things moving.
“Negative questioning” works so well that it’s important to use it with integrity. You’re not looking to convince someone to do something they don’t want to. Instead, you’re helping them agree to something acceptable to them, which their “No Habit” might have prevented.
