52

When you want to come up with good ideas, but can’t think of any

People aren’t good at thinking in threes. For example, you might say to your friend:

Shall we go to the cinema or a restaurant tonight? (two options, not three)
Dinner? OK then – Chinese or Italian?
Italian? OK – Il Forno or San Carlo?

Similarly, as you saw in the previous chapter, when people face challenging situations, they tend to think they have only two solutions. And, if neither is satisfactory, they feel powerless to resolve it.

For example, a company recently asked me to help smooth their relationships with some customers. They were worried because, in the face of an onslaught from an irate customer, they felt they’d only had two options – back down or fight – and neither appealed. They wanted to know how to react if it happened again.

I advised they should find the often-elusive third option, which would have lots of advantages:

  • They’d have 50% more choice – three, not two.
  • Because they’d had to think more deeply, they’d find the third option could well be best.
  • Once they had the third option, floodgates usually open to give options 4, 5 and 6. So they’d now have lots more choice.

When I asked for a third option, they thought for a while, then said “next time, we could take a break from the meeting”. And when I prompted with “anything else?”, lots more appeared:

  • Invite a colleague to join the meeting.
  • Say “sorry – can you repeat that?” (complaints don’t have the same intensity second time around).
  • Break the customer’s flow by saying “I’m confused” followed by silence. When they reply “why?”, you’ve regained control.
  • Persuasively and empathetically help remove the customer’s concerns (see the next chapter for how).
  • Apologize.
  • Agree.
  • Disagree.
  • Ask them to slow down, so that you can take notes (this can dampen their “energetic fury”).
  • Arrange another meeting.
  • The second meeting could be at your premises.
  • Or theirs.
  • Or a neutral venue.
  • Or on the phone.
  • And so on . . .

When they thought they had two options – and neither worked – they felt there was nothing they could do.

Once they realized they had lots of options, they knew they could influence the situation.

And, once you’ve convinced yourself, you’ve a much better chance of convincing someone else.

So, here’s a quick exercise: Think of a current problem you have. Quickly identify two actions you could take to resolve it:

1. _________________________________________________________________
2. _________________________________________________________________

And now come up with a third:

3. _________________________________________________________________

Let’s see if you can open the floodgates:

4. _________________________________________________________________
5. _________________________________________________________________
6. _________________________________________________________________
7. _________________________________________________________________

Now you have lots more options, choose the one(s) most likely to work.

So, as a general rule, when you think you have no options, assume you have at least three. It’s just a case of finding them. In fact, “thinking in threes” is a useful technique to embed. It helps you see options others can’t, and more quickly.

So, what can you do, to ensure “thinking in threes” becomes your default?

Option 1 __________________________________________________________
Option 2 __________________________________________________________
Option 3 __________________________________________________________

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