Chapter 5

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Flexibility

For every failure, there’s an alternative course of action. You just have to find it. When you come to a roadblock, take a detour.

— Mary Kay Ash, founder, Mary Kay Cosmetics

The opening quote to this chapter says it all about running your own business. When the you-know-what hits the fan, which it most certainly will, you must be ready to pivot at any given moment in response. To do that, you need to be flexible.

You might mistake flexibility for the ability to bend but not break, but it’s so much bigger than that—it is a contributor and facilitator of kindness. Business is about relationships, and relationships always include people, and people always mess up, which is why your ability to roll with the punches is a kind gesture as well as the secret to long-lasting fruitful relationships. As it so happens, flexibility is also at the heart of the biggest buzz word in business: sustainability. If you want to grow your business and sustain it, you need to be flexible, as Mary Kay Ash suggests.

Flexibility is the key to life and to all healthy relationships. In fact, to be flexible is to be adaptable. If humans lacked the ability to adapt to their surrounds, we would be extinct. In biology, adaptation is defined as being a change or the process of change by which an organism or species becomes better suited to its environment. Isn’t that our most important goal? For our business to be better suited to those it serves?

Conditions change; from the market to the economy to the customers themselves, we can’t predict conditions as accurately as we do the weather. To adapt to our conditions means we can ensure our business’s survival.

In this chapter we will discuss the many facets of flexibility, from adapting to our customers’ needs or mustering our patience to deal with last-minute changes, to adapting to a fickle marketplace and incorporating flexibility as a business model for employees.

Because it is my belief that kindness is a generator of true connection, thereby nurturing the bonds humans innately desire, it is no surprise I have found flexibility as a common currency in some of the most successful relationships.

Interpersonal Flexibility

If you are in business, you have probably been burned too many times to count. We have all learned from one bad experience to another that it is critical to protect ourselves. However, there is always a time and a place for flexibility. Bending to the conditions that catch you off guard is not the same as being pushed around. Of course you will discern which conditions you should adapt to in order to sustain your business, while others will expose themselves as being dangerous. Think of flexibility as proverbially picking and choosing your battles.

For instance, my contract agreement includes a cancellation clause that states if a call is missed or a person is egregiously late, the time still counts as a session. When a longtime client of mine missed our scheduled call, I knew something was up. Days later, I heard from her that she had food poisoning. This client and I had a long relationship with precedence of her being on time, so of course I didn’t count the session.

Anyone who has a consulting business would agree this is necessary verbiage, as time is money, and we can’t afford to be giving away blocks of time. So although we must be protective of our time, we also must consider these questions: At what cost? Will it burn the bridge? Will an act of penalization ruin the relationship?

Flexibility can be administered on a case-by-case basis, making it flexible in and of itself. It doesn’t have to be literally built into the business bylaw. You have the discretion, based on the relationship, to find the loophole if that’s what you prefer. In this way, flexibility isn’t a business model, it’s a mindset. Yes, we all have policies, but I decided a long time ago to hold my clients to the spirit of the law instead of the letter of it. My client was completely grateful, by the way, and I know that my flexibility also told her that I was quite reasonable to work with, and that quality is never hurtful to a relationship.

When we are flexible with others—whether it is with staff, vendors, or clients—we send several messages of kindness at once. Through our flexible actions we show we are patient, humble, and aware that we are susceptible to the same kinds of interruptions. We tell others we are compassionate and empathetic of the situation. Our flexible reaction to a conundrum is the cumulative effect of all these kindness characteristics put together.

Flexibility and Customers

We are all concerned about sustainability, but business owners are also heavily focused on the customer experience. What they need, when they shop, how they make purchasing decisions, and so much more, need to be accounted for when determining if we are providing good customer service. Researching and assessing these and other factors is nothing other than flexibility and adaptability in action.

“We owe it to our consumer to offer her various options for how she wants to shop; we shouldn’t impose rules on her,” Natalie Massenet, founder of Net-a-Porter, told Fast Company.¹ And she should know, as her focus on flexibility earned her high-end online boutique $80 million in sales in one month alone. She engages in the same 365-day returns policy and free two-way shipping that Zappos, the online shoe retailer, is famous for.

Headlines abound about Zappos’s extremely flexible return policy, but the skeptics have been quieted since the store reported the more goods customers return, the better it is for business. “Our best customers have the highest returns rates,” Craig Adkins, VP of services and operations told Fast Company, “but they are also the ones that spend the most money with us and are our most profitable customers.”² Zappos’s model is not to give its purchasers the cheapest footwear out there, but to give them the best service (a 365-day returns policy and free two-way shipping).

Being flexible means learning directly from the customer what needs changing or improving, which is why flexibility enforced by front-end employees is something worth considering. A well-known story about The Ritz-Carlton Hotel is a prime example of the power of flexibility being in the hands of those who deal with clients the most.

The president of The Ritz-Carlton, Horst Schulze, instinctively knew that people with complaints or requests do not want to hear “I will ask management,” so he created a policy that gave frontline employees autonomous decision-making power over their interactions with customers. By doing so, Schulze infused a true feeling of luxury, efficiency, and brand recognition, as customers’ problems were solved more immediately and personally.³ The flexibility of allowing staff to be flexible to clients, without adhering to rules that have been set as company guidelines and policies, makes customers feel heard and believe they are a part of an actual relationship, instead of being held hostage to corporate policy. Ask members of your staff what kinds of situations they encounter that go unsolved, and find out what tools would help them. Bending the rules can make a big difference, because doing so makes customers feel like they matter.

I recently experienced a similar situation. I was speaking in Las Vegas on Friday and Saturday. It wasn’t until midnight Friday that I checked into the hotel, as I had travelled in the morning by plane and went straight to the conference. It had been at least a 14-hour day with another long day ahead of me, so I couldn’t wait to hit the hay. At the reservations desk, the receptionist told me that the computer indicated I was only staying Saturday night and there was no space available for me. The online booking service I used apparently had a glitch, and I was now without a place to sleep. There was nothing she could do, the clerk told me, as the hotel was completely booked. By 2 a.m., I had called 15 hotels, asking if they had a room for me. Some did, but wouldn’t lower their astronomical rates. I was near tears and exhausted by this point. Finally, the Marriott Renaissance said they would be able to offer the rate of $169. My Uber driver drove me over to the hotel, and I was greeted by a friendly clerk. “Looks like you had a hard night,” she said to me empathetically. I mustered a slight smile. “You know what I am going to do? I am going to give you the room for $129.”

Whether or not she went against corporate policy, this woman felt confident enough in her ability to be flexible with the hotel’s rates. What her compassion and flexibility did was pay the hotel dividends that surprised even me. The next morning, I was as well rested as I could possibly be, and extremely grateful for the humanity shown to me, so I called the front desk to see if they would extend the rate for two more nights. I wasn’t put on hold, but told right on the spot that yes, the rate can be extended. I cancelled my original booking at the other hotel that had kicked me out the night before. I wound up eating all my meals at the Marriott and brought friends and colleagues back to the hotel. We spent money there, and since I was a conference organizer, I could guarantee that I would be back and refer the chain in the future. In fact, this one particular Marriott Renaissance in Las Vegas happens to be stunning, and I look forward to going back for personal enjoyment.

To see how important flexibility is, consider where it is lacking: the airline industry. Rule after rule, caveat after caveat, fee after fee, people are extremely dissatisfied with their travel experiences. According to the U.S. Department of Transportation, air travel complaints increased by 30 percent in 2015 alone—a 15-year high!⁴ If you want to see how an industry’s strict rules and regulations make people feel, check out the departures area of your local airport. It is not usually a very happy place. The lack of flexibility and increased penalties that run rampant today is why I am a loyal customer of Southwest. As a preferred business traveler, when I came down with a nasty case of bronchitis and couldn’t fly, I called up and requested a new flight. I was able to do so without paying the $140 penalty. So because I know I can change my itinerary without going broke, I always fly Southwest. I believe them to be a flexible airline, and in business when meetings run long or are cancelled, having the flex option is a lifesaver.

A simple request I had made to a Chinese restaurant had been denied, and I haven’t set foot in there since. For lunch-time at my monthly live publicity course, I needed a restaurant venue that would accommodate my attendees. Of course, each person would require separate checks and we would need to be served and back to work within an hour. These two requests proved to be too much for the restaurant to handle, and I was left in desperate search for a new spot.

I called Applebees, which not only agreed to the opportunity, but delivered the menus in advance to the hotel and allowed us to call in our orders ahead of time. When we arrived at the restaurant, the food and separate checks were ready. Applebees made hundreds of dollars that day, and I continued to hold my lunches there for months.

You don’t have to be like the airlines. Simply keeping questions such as: “What do my customers need?,” “What will make this experience pleasant for them?,” Can I accommodate their special request?,” and “Does this warrant a late fee or a refund?” at the forefront of your interactions is imperative, especially in today’s social media age when you’re just one tweet away from a massive boycott. Encourage your employees to ask the same questions, and give them the leverage to make their own determinations about situations that arise.

Different services require different levels and types of service flexibility. Only you know how much flexibility your business can afford. The bottom line is to allow yourself to be guided by the relationships you have with your staff, vendors, and customers. Doing so will help you utilize flexibility in ways that can benefit all parties.

Making the Pivot

The old way of doing business, including the adherence to mandatory rules and policies, is dead. People expect you to work with them, understand their position, and help them make the best out of the work-life balance they crave. Before I spend the rest of this chapter addressing the extremely different work culture and employee expectations that have become more prevalent throughout the last two decades, I want to offer some sage advice that my personal coach for the past five years, James Malinchak, offered about the necessity of noticing, accepting, and rising to the changes that require us to be flexible.

James is one of the most requested motivational and business keynote speakers in America, and was featured on the ABC hit TV show Secret Millionaire. “The old type of style of business that was more cutthroat…and that usually occurs at the expense of others, will become obsolete,” he told me. “I believe there is a new revolution happening—a realization that we are not here to be takers of others; that ‘making a sale’ means taking from the customer.”⁵

James then used the metaphor of a bib being placed underneath us when we are born, programming us that we should go through life being “fed” by others, taking from their mouths for our own satiation. But, he says, in order to get ahead in today’s business world, we have to change that by removing the bib from under our chins and placing it over our forearms, becoming a servant of others, having the flexibility to change our beliefs about business, and constantly consider how can we serve our prospects and clients. He does all of this by using a system called AME.

“A stands for ‘how do I add value?’ M asks how we can make a difference; E inspires us to consider how to enrich lives. If we approach business with this mindset, we move away from the me-versus-the-customers mentality and spend energy and focus on adding value, making a difference, and enriching the people we come in contact with.”⁶

Customers are used to getting inflexibility, of buying something and not hearing back, of needing something and not getting it, of leaving dissatisfied. Even James has been a victim of this inability to service. “I just paid over $5,000 for something 30 days ago, and haven’t yet received my order. I am flexible and reasonable that things happen in shipping, but the problem is my calls have gone unreturned and I cannot find out where my merchandise is. They are not serving; they are taking.”⁷

And then James offered another acronym to live by: RICH.

R: Relationships are everything; without them, you have no prospects, advocates, or disciples. If you are not focused on serving, you won’t develop relationships.

I: Inspire others with your actions. It is one thing to say you give great customer service, but you have to then do it.

C: Contribute to the service of others.

H: Have a happy mindset. Nobody wants to deal with a person who is not excited about their product or service or making a difference or about helping clients and customers solve problems.

“You can have boundaries and be disciplined in business,” James explained. “But you need to think about kindness, and that is what attracts people to you. If you attract more of the right people and retain customers, prospects, and clients, obviously, profit increases.”⁸

Employee Flexibility

James pointed out that how we act is how we attract customers and loyal staff. As business owners, we know that we are nothing without retaining our major talent. As much as we rely on our own savvy, we need staff members (or outside consultants) whose ideas make us buzz, whose ethics match our own, who have the versatility to wear many hats (without complaining), and whose passion fuels them to go further and learn faster.

Top-notch employees need not be caught, but attracted. The cream of the crop know that they are in demand, and are therefore making their own demands about what they require from their employers. The people in this small pool of the workforce are very much interviewing us as we are interviewing them.

For some business owners, the specifications employees have about what they require in a work environment today are somewhat hard to swallow. We must change with the times, and times today are synonymous with technology and a surge in the creative and service economies, all of which enable people the freedom to work for themselves from anywhere in the world. So, as business owners looking for the right people to sustain and grow our business, we need to offer more.

Throughout the past two decades there has been a shift in what employees are demanding, and we aren’t just talking about the Millennials. Family leave options aren’t about having babies anymore; fathers want equal time off to bond and care for children. Those in the Sandwich Generation (people in their 30s and 40s) are caught between caring for their aging parents and putting their kids through college.

Lifestyle options are more in demand. Some people believe they can get more work done from satellite offices, or create better when they can bring their pet to work. All of these requests, no matter how varied, aim to personalize how to bridge the gap between work and life, about not making our lives look like a scene out of Sophie’s Choice in which we need to make an impossible choice between career and home. These types of decisions cause pressure that has become a personal issue we all grapple with.

Many business owners who need to spend more waking hours at their businesses in order to launch, sustain, or build, are well aware of this because they are torn all the time and know they couldn’t do their work without someone helping out with family, elder care, childcare, or household duties. It takes a village to be in business, and this doesn’t just apply to whom we are selling or servicing!

For today’s employees and business owners alike the term “something’s gotta give” just doesn’t fly. That’s why work-life balance has become one of the most talked about and debated topics in the business world. We deserve and can have the best of both worlds, and employers of all types and sizes are getting on board by creating flex time policies.

Flex Time Defined

The word flexibility is quite subjective, with no one-size-fits all definition. One person’s flexible schedule might be another’s daily grind. Slightly easing off the work-week pedal for one person can feel like retirement to someone else, which is precisely the point. Flexibility is personal.

According to the U.S. Department of Labor, a flexible work schedule is an alternative to the traditional 9-to-5, 40-hour work week.⁹ Employees are given the opportunity to vary their arrival and/or departure times. Some policies state employees must work a mandated number of hours per pay period and be present during a daily “core time.”

My assistant Marybeth wanted a flexible schedule, and I was happy to accommodate. During the hours of 9 a.m. to 2 p.m., Marybeth is focused on the work at hand, proving that a person can do her work in five hours as opposed to the standard eight hours. In fact, because she is working a truncated day, I believe it motivates her even more to avoid distraction or needless breaks. It is a tradeoff I am willing to make, as my travel schedule requires I have someone on the frontline who I trust and who is capable, as opposed to sitting around all day. My other assistant works a full-time job, so she comes in at 6 in the evening to handle office issues. I pile things up for her and as long as she can do the job in a timely and accurate manner, it doesn’t matter to me what time of the day it gets done.

Of course it depends on what kind of business a person is in, but I advise to err on the side of flexibility, especially with employees. Have policies, of course, but realize that they will only work 80 percent of the time. The other 20 percent, you have to expect unpredictability and be ready to adapt.

Flexibility with employees also helps you achieve your own work-life balance. Being flexible with my staff and clients means that my needs for flexibility are honored in return. Personally, I like to start work a little later in the day and end a bit earlier. Having a flexible culture allows me to take care of myself first; as we discussed in the chapter on patience, if we first tend to ourselves, we have more of ourselves to give to our customers and staff.

Why Choose Flex Time?

Some argue that business suffers, and so does customer service, if flex time, including telecommuting, is implemented. Others argue it is a win-win-win, with business owners, employees, and customers receiving the best of what everyone has to offer. The FlexJobs fourth annual Super Study is an indication of what employers and employees might want to take away about this muddy issue.¹⁰,¹¹ The study includes responses from more than 2,600 survey participants across all age brackets. The bottom line is: Employees are looking for greater work flexibility. Here are some of the benefits:

Loyalty. Respondents were asked “What is one thing that would make you more devoted to your current employer?” The survey revealed that 82 percent answered “flex time options.” This includes working remotely, telecommuting, or part-time or freelance work.

Productivity. Seventy-six percent of workers avoid the office for important tasks, according to the survey. To eliminate distractions, half said working from home is a good option. Interruptions from colleagues abound, as do lengthy meetings.

Quality of life. When asked “What would positively impact your quality of life?,” a whopping 97 percent answered “a job with flexibility.” And according to 87 percent of respondents, working a job with a flexible work schedule would lower stress levels. This means they would be healthier and call in sick less—something to consider when business owners are said to dole out a lot of money because of absenteeism.

Increased morale. When people are given carte blanche on their work life and schedule, they feel they are in more control and therefore respected and cared for. They will reward employers because they will be more engaged and less stressed.

Bigger pool to fish in. A friend of mine who headed up a marketing division in Phoenix, needed to relocate to Connecticut to care for her ailing mother. Aware that there was not a satellite office in Connecticut, she had to put in her notice and choose the time with her mother over her career, or so she thought. Because she was a valued employee and a vital asset to the team, the VP allowed her to do her job from Connecticut, Skype in for meetings, and fly back for important conferences. The company’s flexibility with my friend inspired them to look for other candidates outside their vicinity, transforming their talent pool from a local one to a global one.¹²

Cost savings. According to an article on Forbes.com, Unilever permits 100,000 workers to work anytime, from anywhere, as long as the work gets done.¹³ Other companies report that allowing people to telecommute saves them on office supplies, drama of office politics, utilities, and real estate.

Where There’s Good Will, There’s a Way

The last thing we want is for people to have to choose between family and work, especially in an emergency situation. But not all of us are in the position to offer paid family leave to our employees; we can barely pay ourselves, if at all. But when flex time has been proven to increase loyalty, lower turnover, and enable more productive employees (and therefore profitability), how can we find ways to take advantage of flexibility?

Always keeping in mind the idea of connection through relationships, we can treat each other in ways that help us say we understand the positions our employees are in. We are all playing in the same playground, after all, and we are aware of the rules and pitfalls. There are ways to incorporate some flexibility into your culture, even if it isn’t necessarily a “policy.” The following ideas are some small gestures that can make a big difference.

Allow early departure for certain important medical events, like mammographies, dental cleanings, annual physicals, and the like. What this communicates to your employees is twofold: You care about their health, and they shouldn’t have to sacrifice a Saturday in order to take care of themselves.

Have a No-Mom-Guilt policy. The number-one thing you will find women secretly crying over is missing their child playing 3rd Chicken in the Thanksgiving assembly. If a personal event doesn’t cause a conflict between something critical at the office, encourage parents to head off for an early or late lunch. They won’t only be applauding the chicken, but you as well.

Although more schools are offering evening-time parent-teacher conferences, not all have gotten with the program. Have a policy in place that lets all parents know they are free to work from home or leave early for an important meeting with a teacher or principal. If you can’t afford full-time childcare, offer a cooperative in which you allow a sitter to come to the office during a crunch period, while several employees share the cost, therefore reducing the blow of a large expense.

Offer summer Fridays, during which employees work half days, every other week, or even work an hour later from Monday through Thursday to make up the time in order to have a half-day every Friday.

Agree to support employees who are returning to school with early arrival or early departures.

Provide employees options for some extra time to exercise. Have some exercise equipment placed somewhere in the office or bring in a Pilates instructor for an extended lunchtime class.

These types of outside-the-box perks can help you remain attractive to a talented employee pool when you can’t afford paid vacation. So many people use personal days and sick days to take care of personal things like health care, “mental health days,” or holiday shopping, so infusing some of these flex-time options can help you stay competitive with companies who do offer more paid leave.

Flexibility and YOU!

“Gold is getting old,” writes Tim Ferriss, the mastermind behind the game-changing philosophy and best-selling book The 4-Hour Workweek. Ferriss became an international phenomenon when he began a movement dedicated to the interests of a group he has dubbed The New Rich. According to Ferris, The New Rich are “those who abandon the deferred-life plan and create luxury lifestyles in the present using the currency of the New Rich: time and mobility. This is an art and a science we will refer to as Lifestyle Design (LD).”¹⁴

When determining how you can incorporate a more flexible mindset and culture, remember why you became a business owner in the first place. One of the main reasons might have been your craving for more autonomy and independence. Use your empathy and compassion, and of course patience and humility, to remember that people are people and we can all lean on each other—yes, even in business. You can get creative and learn to be flexible, or at least cash in on the benefits of keeping your kindness quotient afloat with some of what flexibility has to offer: time, mobility, and your support in partnering with employees in their attempt at a new Lifestyle Design. As Ferriss puts it, “Life doesn’t have to be so damn hard. It really doesn’t. Most people, my past self included, have spent too much time convincing themselves that life has to be hard, a resignation to nine-to-five drudgery in exchange for (sometimes) relaxing weekends and the occasional keep-it-short-or-get-fired vacation.¹⁵

Yes, times have certainly changed. Mad Men are now Mobile Men; Working Girl has been replaced with Working-When-I-Want Girl, and Clock Watchers are controlling their own time. None of us want to be slaves to the grind, and when using flexibility, we don’t have to be. Allowing yourself, your customers, and employees the kind gesture of flexibility in thought, mindset, and schedule shows that you and your business are not only of 21st-century ilk, you have your sights set steadily on the future.