102 Asking a Coworker to Stay Within the Bounds of Their Role
STRATEGY
Good boundaries make good coworkers. When job responsibilities or roles are blurred, productivity and morale suffer. If one of your coworkers is constantly offering unsolicited suggestions, reaching out to your staff directly, or interfering in your management of projects, you need to speak with them directly. Act as if they have the best of intentions, even if you know they don't. Stress that you're open to help, but only when you ask for it. If they push back, citing they have more experience, accept that, but say they need to give you the room to do your job. If they push back citing that the business comes first, explain that blurred boundaries actually hurt the business. Don't hesitate to imply that you'll bring the issue to your supervisor if the interference doesn't stop.
TACTICS
Attitude: Be calm but determined. A person who steps outside their lane isn't likely to respond to weakness.
Preparation: Don't bring up generalities. Frame your conversation as a response to a recent example of their overstepping bounds.
Timing: Make this approach as soon after the incident as possible; hours rather than days. The sooner you have the conversation the more serious and determined you appear.
Behavior: Do this face‐to‐face, in their office, if possible. Keep the conversation short enough so that you can hold it standing up. Make sure you get the last word by leaving as soon as you finish the script.
ADAPTATIONS
This script can be modified to:
Ask a friend or relative to mind their own business.
KEY POINTS
Act as if they're not trying to undermine you, even if you suspect they are.
Stress that you're open to help and advice, but not when it's unsolicited.
Respond to claims they put the business first by saying that blurred boundaries are bad for the business.
If you keep getting pushback imply that you'll be going to your supervisor if the behavior happens again.