MAKING OUR VALUES CLEAR

When our children were young, we made a family mission statement. Mission statements are a little antiquated now, but my wife and I wanted to define the values that we wanted to live by in our family. Some of the values we listed were:

Our family will support each other in our goals and ambitions.

Our home will be an environment of safety, love, and respect.

We will provide unconditional love for each other.

We will teach respect for people, places, and things.

We will embrace the value of hard work and leadership.

We will allow each other to make mistakes and grow from these mistakes, but we will encourage each other to reach for higher levels.

We will have positive friendships.

Our family will work together, play together, and stay together.

We will laugh often and savor the good, while fearlessly fighting the bad.

We will act on life and turn negative situations into positives.

We will value learning and education.

Each family member will strive to make a meaningful contribution to humanity.

Our family is far from perfect, but these are some of the values we set out to teach our children. We have the list posted in our entryway, and each member of our family knows what is expected of them. And I’m always amused at the stories our children tell each other and their friends of the funny things that happen in our family as we reinforce these values.

Rick Sapio talks about what he calls “value-based decision making.” He also refers to “The Doorman Principle,” which is defined as “the deliberate practice of defining a set of values and/or rules to dictate who, or what, is allowed to enter into your life or business.” In our lives and in our businesses, we must have a “value gatekeeper.” In our home, my wife is the value gatekeeper. When she sees one of my sons being rude to his friends, she will call him on it because, “We teach respect for people, places, and things.” She insists that our kids do their homework because, “We value education.” She does not let riffraff into our home and encourages our children to have positive friendships.

Koral, my executive administrator, is the “value gatekeeper” at my office. She keeps the distractions and business snakes out of my life. Koral is responsible for the final interview of every potential hire. She deliberately does an exhaustive interview to ensure the person is in alignment with the 12 values of our organization. If the candidate does not pass this check, they do not get hired no matter how talented they are.

VALUES EXERCISE

A powerful and valuable exercise that I like to use is from Rick Sapio.

1. Write down three people in your life that you most admire or respect and who you most want to be like.

2. From the values assessment lists on pages 75 and 76, circle seven or eight values that best describe each of those people.

3. Those values that show up repeatedly will be the things that you value.

This simple exercise will bring great clarity to what your values are. From my experience, you will end up with about 10 values with which you closely align yourself.

After you have established your values, do not let anyone into your intimate circle that does not fit with your values. Of course, it’s naive to think that you will never have to deal with anyone who doesn’t share exactly the same values, but I’m talking about your inside circle or trust relationships. That means your important hires, your friends, your partnerships. You need to establish a value gatekeeper that you have complete trust in to make sure that your values are honored. These values help you surround yourself with people who align closely with you.

Each company or organization needs to make its own set of values and rules that it wants to live by. Rick has a few rules based on his values that determine the kinds of people he will hire. Some examples of these rules include:

1. They must be responsible.

2. They must have a credit score about 700.

3. They must have a college degree.

4. They must have a minimum of five years’ experience in their profession.

Some of his rules for the people that he won’t hire are:

1. He will not hire anyone who is a close friend.

2. He will not hire anyone who has been unemployed for a long period of time.

3. He will not hire anyone who does not value what we value.

4. He will not hire anyone who is late to an interview.

Listing the values that you want to travel on in your organization is not just limited to your business. You should set up values and rules to travel on in other areas of your life where you are striving to reach a goal. Some of these areas could include:

Projects that you are involved in

Charitable groups you are involved with

Organizations that your children are involved in

Your children’s friends

Future business decisions

Your personal habits

Your health and well-being

These are some of the ideas that Rick came up with, but this list should be personally tailored to you, your essential nature, your hopes and dreams, and your abilities. Using value-based decision making can help you in your business, key relationships, parenting efforts, and virtually every other area of your life. These values will help you avoid mistakes and make you more aware of where you are traveling on this road to success.