FINDING OUR BEACON IN THE FOG

It is one thing to wander aimlessly, which some of us, unfortunately, do. It’s a very different matter to identify and set our sights on what I call a big, audacious goal, which becomes our “beacon in the fog.” With that beacon firmly in mind, we are far better equipped to head into the darkness, knowing we may not always be able to see where we’re going with crystal clarity, but still know where we’re headed. Airline pilots do this all the time. They barrel through storms and massive cloud banks at 500 miles per hour, unable to see 10 feet in front of them, and we passengers are accepting of this insanity because we know they are fixed on a clearly identified bearing.

If we’re smart, we do the same thing. We start out with a big goal to guide us, and every once in a while we hit a smaller goal, which provides a break in the fog that lets us catch sight of our beacon before we take those next steps into the darkness. The process is more messy and risky than it is clean, pristine, planned, and calculated. But if you have a solid, clearly defined beacon in the fog to move toward—and a foundation to travel on—then you will arrive at your destination, just as you’ve planned. But only after some inevitable zigzagging!

In the last chapter, you assessed your resources and figured out what kind of vehicle you have at your disposal to take on your journey to success. Now let’s talk about clearly identifying your destination. Where do you want to go? What is your beacon in the fog?

Imagine there are two groups of friends who want to take a trip, and both groups start out with identical resources. The first group spends considerable time researching travel ideas on the Internet. As they explore various options, each mentions a long-held dream of seeing France, so they set a goal to travel there together in one year. When their income tax returns arrive, each person deposits the money in a special fund created just for this trip. They cut expenses wherever they can in order to build their savings accounts. They each get a credit card that gives them double miles, which they then use responsibly (so they’re not wasting the money they’re saving on interest). They even put their change in a jar at the end of the day.

A year later, they are able to purchase their airline tickets with frequent flyer miles; in fact, they have enough miles to upgrade to those oversized business-class seats with the individual video amenities. Soon after, they are ready to take off. They fly into the Charles de Gaulle Airport, then head to the luxurious Hotel de Crillon. While in Paris, they schedule adequate time to stroll through the Louvre and see some of the world’s most famous paintings. Of course, the Mona Lisa is at the top of the list. They climb to the top of the Eiffel Tower, counting each step as they go. Their evenings are spent in famous French restaurants that serve croissant au beurre, thinly sliced French fries, and sweet crepes. After enjoying Paris, they make their way down the beautiful French Riviera to visit Nice and Cannes. They even take a day trip to Monaco to visit the raceway and winding streets that meander along the sheer cliffs. After spending two weeks of leisurely, deliberate enjoyment, they return home, relaxing in business class.

The other group of friends kind of jump in their car one day and say, “Hey, let’s take a trip!” Once they’re all in, they open their wallets and see they have a total of $17.93 among them. That doesn’t seem like much, but one person has a credit card with a $500 credit line (at 29 percent interest). No one has a strong opinion about where to go, so they flip a coin to see if they should travel east or west. The quarter lands on tails, so they head west. As they leave town, they stop at the local Gas-n-Go to fill up and buy some snacks and soda pop. They charge the credit card for the gas and drinks, and off they go. After about 200 miles, they realize they are in a remote part of Northern Nevada, where the inhabitants consist mostly of rabbits and rattlesnakes. Not surprisingly, they realize they have no idea where the closest town is, which concerns them because their gas tank is getting low and they are almost out of drinks. Suddenly, they begin praying that they have enough snacks and gas to get them back home. And, in the midst of those silent prayers, they find they are getting on each other’s nerves.

In both cases, these are trips that are going to be talked about for years to come. But the nature of the reminiscences will vary considerably!

Many people live their lives much like the friends who took the second road trip. They take whatever comes and live day-to-day or paycheck-to-paycheck. They do not have a plan or a goal for where they want to go, let alone end up. There is no beacon guiding them toward where they have determined they want to go.

Finding your beacon is a very personal and individual pursuit, but there are some principles that should guide you.

First, you should look for those things you are passionate about and you have the ability to achieve. They should exceed your grasp so that you’re pushed, but they should not be so far beyond your reach that they are unattainable.

In The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, Stephen R. Covey talks about our areas of influence and areas of concern. We all have things in our lives where our preferences and choices can and do make a difference. These are our areas of influence. Some are quite simple. For example, what we wear to work, what we eat for breakfast, or even the jobs we choose to apply for are all things that are clearly within our area of influence. Then there are areas that are more complex, but where we certainly do have an influence. If we’re part of a management team, we may not have complete control over decisions that are made, but we do have a say. If we’re a parent, we can’t really force our children to do exactly what we want, but we can certainly influence their behaviors. If we see a compelling social need, we may not be able to solve it single-handedly, but we can make our own unique contribution.

Then there are those things that, no matter what our concerns may be, are not within our area of influence. Because I love being outdoors, I am very concerned about the weather. But, no matter how vocal I may be when I wake up wanting to play golf and find snow on the ground, there is not a darned thing I can do about it. If I work at the lowest staff level of an international conglomerate, I likely will have no real influence on corporate strategies. If I own a small manufacturing business, the price of gas is beyond my control, even though it has a huge impact on my business plan and profits.

Most people spend 80 percent of their time worrying about things they cannot control. In other words, they spend all of their time and energy focusing on their areas of concern rather than their area of influence. The way to identify those things you want to pursue is to focus right on the border of where your area of influence touches your area of concern. If you establish your beacon in the fog right on the edge of your area of influence, you will find that your area of influence becomes much larger and you will find that your goals, though challenging, actually are achievable.

If we’re not setting goals that are within our reach as part of finding our beacon, we will find ourselves doing a lot of aimless wandering in the fog. I’ve always been motivated by the goals I’ve set; in fact, every year I see to it that my family gets together and makes goals. These are not your garden-variety New Year’s resolutions; these are actual goals we plan to achieve, individually and collectively. We make short-term goals, mid-term goals, and long-term goals. (Personally, I have already set goals through the end of my life.) It has been fun to see the kinds of goals our children come up with each year.

We do not judge each other’s goals. We just write them down and post them on the refrigerator. As the year progresses and each goal is met, the children ceremoniously cross off each goal, which brings a huge sense of satisfaction. Sometimes we will put up goals that are a big stretch to reach. Other goals might be much simpler. Over the years my family has found that the best way to make goals is to keep three things in mind. A goal needs to be: (1) written down, (2) measurable, and (3) realistic. It never ceases to amaze me how powerful this simple process of creating and writing down goals ends up being. Of course, times change, priorities shift, and we all do our fair share of zigzagging toward our goals. So while there are a few goals that end up not being completed, most of what we’ve committed to gets crossed off by the end of the year. What I find more gratifying than just checking off goals is seeing how my children’s goals provide them with direction and motivation throughout the year.

I’ll admit there have been times when a family member’s goals have left me wondering how they were ever going to achieve them. But I’ve also seen many examples of how having that beacon in the fog provides a powerful reminder and sense of purpose. A few years ago, my seven-year-old son had us write down a goal that really made me chuckle. When we asked him what goals he wanted to pursue, without hesitation he blurted out, “I want to go chicken chasing!” We all laughed; but, in keeping with family policy, we wrote it down and posted it on the fridge.

Now, neither do we live anywhere near a farm nor do we have any chickens nearby, so my wife and I were not sure how this goal was going to be met. I suppose we could have driven him to a petting zoo, but in reality his achieving this goal was not a big priority for my wife or me. When we did think about it, we just figured this would be a goal that would sit on the list and at the end of the year we would say, “Well, sorry, but that one just didn’t happen.”

The year progressed, and of course there was no chicken chasing. In fact, we thought he had forgotten all about his goal. Then one day in mid-October, my wife called me on the phone, laughing uncontrollably. She and our kids had stopped at the post office to pick up some mail. As they got back in the car, the son who wanted to chase chickens got really excited. He and his younger brother then bolted out of the car and started chasing two wild roosters that had been sitting in the bushes at the post office. My wife and the older brothers watched as these two little boys chased those birds around for a good five minutes. My son was so excited when he got home that the first thing he did was grab his big red crayon and cross off “Chicken Chasing” from his list of goals.

While you may never have a goal of chasing chickens, my son’s experience exemplifies the power of identifying and then writing down those things that are going to serve as our beacons in the fog. While everyone else in our family had pretty much forgotten about his goal, he kept looking toward that beacon—and for the right opportunity to achieve his goal. I have found that if you put a goal out there and write it down, it is amazing what the universe will return to you.

Your beacons in the fog are generally longer-term goals that your short-term and mid-term goals will lead you toward. You can have several beacons you are working toward in different areas of your life. When I began college, I had identified several beacons in the fog I intended to pursue. One was to graduate from college. Another was to meet the woman I would marry. Still another was to find significant ways to render service. I must say that the day I started college, I had no idea how I was going to accomplish those goals, but those beacons provided me with guidance and motivation as I developed the short-term and mid-term goals that kept me moving toward the light.

After graduating from college (and accomplishing my other two goals), I came up with a new set of beacons that centered around building a strong family, finding success in my career, continuing my education, and finding additional ways to serve. As I’ve found myself approaching 50, I’ve wanted to find an additional beacon that would motivate and guide me in ways that transcend the businesses I’ve been involved in building and the financial goals I’ve established for myself and my family.

Finding that beacon took quite some time, but as I searched for it, I realized I have always been concerned about the plight of the poverty-stricken women and children around the world. It just dismays me to see the starving children and the abuses of women in developing countries. I have traveled in some of these countries, and I watch the news and worry about these people so much that I set a rather general goal of helping women in emerging countries find their way out of poverty. However, I felt for a long time that this was a goal that was largely out of my area of influence.

Many experiences have helped me change my view, but perhaps none more powerfully than when I had the opportunity to interview a man named Steve Comrie, who is a pioneer in the satellite television industry. He and his business partner, David Reid, have both been very successful in their field. At one point, the two somehow became aligned with Afghanistan and discovered a group of freedom fighters who desperately wanted to bring honest, fair, and open television to the Afghanis.

Over time, this goal became Steve and Dave’s beacon in the fog, despite the realities they faced in dealing with a corrupt government, Taliban strongholds, and many others who were hostile to the idea of a free flow of information. As they undertook this endeavor, the two men spent many weeks and months having no idea how they would find their way through the darkness. But they had a goal in mind, and through a series of miraculous events, Steve and Dave made the decision to go to Afghanistan to play their part in helping these freedom fighters. At great personal risk, they were able to set up uncensored television programming. They even created a program called The Mask, in which Afghan women who usually have no voice in social issues can wear a mask and speak freely about what is happening in their country without fear of reprisal or death.

Was this undertaking at the very edge of Steve and Dave’s comfort zone? Indeed it was. It was also right on the fringe of their area of influence and their area of concern. But through identifying and pursuing their beacon in the fog, they have been able to expand their area of influence, and they are actually doing something about their area of concern. Their undertaking meant they had to spend considerable time zigzagging through the fog guided by their beacon, but in the process they did something remarkable for the women and the men of Afghanistan.

I contend that all the great breakthroughs that occur in the world happen when people act right on the perimeter of their area of influence and their area of concern. This is where real power and influence is born.