STRATEGY

Cultural sensitivity isn't just for your direct reports. You may feel that you can joke with or tease peers, but that doesn't mean culturally insensitive remarks are acceptable. Don't even try to provide an explanation—this is about their feelings, not about you. Approach this, as much as possible, as an apology to a friend. The more you can draw on any personal closeness, the more likely you'll be quickly forgiven. Always offer a clear “I'm sorry” statement as many times as necessary. You can demonstrate empathy by providing an example of what would be a similarly insensitive remark about your own culture. Express your willingness to reach out to others who saw your actions or heard your comments. Most times, a coworker will prefer to just drop the issue. If they do want a public apology, do it immediately and accept that your relationship with the victim of your remarks or action will require time to heal.

TACTICS

• Attitude: Sincerity is the key. Remember it's not about you, it's about how they felt. Never offer an excuse or reason; it will dilute the apology. Understand that you may need to apologize multiple times in this conversation.
• Preparation: Always practice your apology, even if it will be delivered informally. Think of an example of a similarly insensitive remark about your own culture that you can use to demonstrate empathy.

  

• Timing: Do this as soon as you realize you've offended one of your coworkers. Don't wait to hear from someone else that you were out of line or for HR to require you to do this. The quicker you apologize the more likely it will be accepted.
• Behavior: This should not be done electronically. It should be done in person rather than over the telephone, if possible. And you should go to your coworker's office to reinforce that you're humbling yourself.

ADAPTATIONS

This script can be modified to:

• Apologize to an in‐law or spouse for gender insensitivity.

KEY POINTS

• Make this as personal an apology as possible.
• Provide an example of a similarly insensitive remark or action about your own culture.
• Don't offer an explanation or rationalization; it will never be sufficient.
• Offer to make a more public apology if it will make your coworker feel better.