1.1

Pick the time and location for your interaction with other people and make sure that you are clear about its purpose.

1.2

Treat important conversations with the client as you would a project. Think about what you hope to achieve and then plan it. You may wish to even go through it with your project controls manager and get them to be a ‘devil’s advocate.'

1.3

If you need to talk to someone in your office on a one‐to‐one basis, shut the door. Don't let interruptions or telephone calls take precedence (as in India or Egypt) and, as I discovered on my return on one occasion, so do the British.

1.4

Delegate telephone calls to your secretary/admin assistant or the deputy project manager. If you do not have any of these people, delegate to one of the project engineers.

1.5

Think of the individual(s) and think about expectations. Ask yourself:

1. ‘What do I expect to deliver?’
2. ‘What do I expect to get back?’
3. ‘What does the other person expect of me?’
4. Identify priorities and the information required.

2.1

Tell it as it is. Don't be too British and say something is quite good; if it is good, just say it is good. If it's not really what you wanted, say it's not. Be more like the Dutch, who can be perceived by the British as being rude when in fact they are being open and honest.

2.2

Try not to interrupt people. Control your desire to jump into a conversation with your point of view. Listen to what they have to say and pause before giving a reactive answer. If necessary say, “I need to think about that. I will get back to you.”

2.3

If you want to command attention in a meeting, and make people pay attention, lower your voice rather than raising it (in competition with others).

2.4

You don't have to win every argument – maybe the other person has a valid point to make.

2.5

See Section C Managing and Conduction Meetings, paragraph 3.6.

3.1

Avoid questions that invite a yes or no answer. Ask open questions that encourage people to contribute their own ideas or point of view. “What makes you think that you are a good project manager?” “Tell me about …”

3.2

Closed questions are used to enquire about specific facts. “How many projects have you completed on time and within budget?” “What is the status of the activity?”

3.3

Check or clarify information with probing questions. “How did you manage to …?” “Tell me what happened next …?”

3.4

Ask leading questions to get acceptance of your point of view. “You agree then, that time is more important than cost?” “You don't disagree with what has been said, then …?”

3.5

Pose hypothetical questions about “If you were the client, what would you do differently?” “What would you do if the circumstances were different?”

3.6

Avoid confusing the other person with multiple questions all at once.

4.1

Communicating with an idea‐oriented person:

1. Allow enough time for discussion.
2. Do not get impatient when they go off on tangents.
3. Be conceptual. Start by expressing the topic under discussion in broader terms.
4. Stress the uniqueness of the idea or topic at hand.
5. Emphasize future value or relate the impact of the idea on the future.
6. If writing to an idea‐oriented person, try to stress the key concepts, which underlie your proposal or recommendation right at the outset. Start off with an overall statement and work towards the more particular.

4.2

Communicating with a process‐oriented person:

1. State the facts; be precise.
2. Organize your presentation in logical order:
   1. Background
   2. Present Situation
   3. Outcome
3. Break down your recommendations.
4. Include options (consider alternatives) with pros and cons.
5. Do not rush a process‐oriented person.
6. Outline your proposal in sequence (1, 2, 3 …)

4.3

Communicating with a people‐oriented person:

1. Do not start the discussion right away. Allow for small talk. Use an informal style, and try to build a rapport before your main argument.
2. Stress the associations between your proposal and the people concerned.
3. Show how the idea worked well in the past.
4. Indicate support from well‐respected people.
5. Use an informal writing style.

4.4

Communicating with an action‐oriented person:

1. State the conclusion right at the start, and focus on the results first of all.
2. State your best recommendation. Do not offer many alternatives.
3. Be as brief as possible.
4. Emphasize the practicality of your ideas.
5. Use visual aids.

5.1

To a Chairman/coordinator:

1. “I think what you are trying to achieve is ….”
2. “Let's get back to the main issue.”
3. “Let's keep the objective in sight.”
4. “To summarize, the key points seem to be ….”

5.2

To a Shaper:

1. “Can you see if you can get things moving?”
2. “The most important issue is ….”
3. “We shouldn't waste time, let's get on with it.”
4. “What needs doing is ….”

5.3

To a Plant:

1. “What do you think about this approach?”
2. “Looking at it from a different angle ….”
3. “We mustn't forget the input from ….”
4. “Perhaps you could remind us of the basics?”

5.4

To a Resource Investigator:

1. “I have a contact you could use.”
2. “That's a good idea, how can …? “
3. “Do you know anyone who can …?”
4. “Can you see if you can get …?”

5.5

To a Team Worker:

1. “Do you think that you could sort out …?”
2. “Why don't you help resolve the conflict with …?”
3. “Would you act as the umpire during …?”
4. “Can you check that everyone agrees with …?”

5.6

To an Implementer/company worker:

1. “Would you get into the detail and check that …?”
2. “Can you see if it can be done?”
3. “Why don't you write the information up on the board?”
4. “Do you think that you could provide a detailed analysis by …?”

5.7

To a Monitor Evaluator:

1. “Will you keep an eye out for …?”
2. “What's the problem with …?”
3. “Think it over and give me your opinion on the best alternative.”
4. “Would you evaluate all the schedule options available?”

5.8

Completer Finisher:

1. “Check that all the forms have been filled in correctly.”
2. “Please give your undivided attention to ….”
3. “Please check the ‘small print’ in the specification.”
4. “Make sure that all the activities are complete before we ….”

6.1

At the end of any interaction with other people, make sure that all the points have been discussed to the satisfaction of both parties. Summarize the key points.

6.2

Agree what actions are necessary and who is responsible for seeing them carried out. Allocate a time for when the actions need to be completed.

6.3

Do other people/management need to be informed?

7.1 Giving Feedback

7.2 Receiving Feedback

8.1

Firstly, do a mental check. Are they really being difficult or are you over‐reacting? The less reactive you are, the more you will be able to concentrate on solving the problem.

8.2

I find that controlling my ‘fight’ response, in order to win the argument, is the most difficult aspect of dealing with difficult people. We need to learn this skill; otherwise all the other techniques will fail.

8.3

Sometimes a person is difficult because you have misunderstood what they are trying to say. Under these circumstances, try and use someone else (the team worker perhaps) to unravel the problem.

8.4

Difficult people tend to take the offensive and say what, when, and why they can't do things. Respond with questions of: what can you/when can you/why can't you?

8.5

If you have to respond to an irrational attack, at say a meeting, then ask the person why they are upset. This demonstrates a willingness to communicate and puts the onus on the other person to explain themselves.

8.6

If the difficulty is occurring outside a meeting, ask the person concerned for a private discussion. Keep your cool and be pleasant and polite.

8.7

If the difficult behaviour is ongoing, discuss your experience with a trusted colleague, such as another project manager, preferably one who had the same difficult person on their project team and find out how they managed matters.

8.8

When receiving a difficult letter/e‐mail/memo, it is much easier to restrain an emotional response. Adopt a rule to leave the item in your ‘in tray’ for twenty‐four hours before deciding how to answer it. Write the response and, if necessary, wait another twenty‐four hours and re‐read your response. No harm can be done by waiting, but an immediate emotional reaction to defend your position will probably make matters worse.

8.9

If you have the talent to be funny, use humour. It defuses aggression.

9.1

‘Anyone can become angry – that is easy. But to be angry with the right person, to the right degree, at the right time, for the right purpose, and in the right way – this is not easy.’¹⁶

9.2

If someone is angry with you, let them ‘have a go’. Listen and let them ‘talk themselves out’. Then:

1. If appropriate, apologize for misunderstanding them, followed by: “Let me see if I have understood the problem correctly.” If they don't agree with your understanding, ask them to restate their concerns.
2. Stay calm and talk more slowly. Separate the people from the problem.
3. It can help if they have a colleague with them who can defuse the emotions.
4. It can also help if you can use humour.

10.1

By defining your own priorities, you will make sure that you will not be fulfilling other people's priorities at the expense of your own. Sort tasks into:

1. Active and reactive
2. Urgent and important

10.2

For urgent and important, see Section H Prioritising Techniques, subsection 2 Graphical Plots.

11.1

See Section B, Leadership and Motivation, paragraph 3.3.

11.2

Don't overlook the time management aspects of subsection 10 and paragraph 1.3, both above.

11.3

If you touch a piece of paper, there are only three things you can do with it:

1. Action it
2. File it
3. Bin it

11.4

Don't get sucked into other people's problems.

11.5

Avoid the pitfalls of multi‐tasking. Every time you change from one task to the next, there is a catching‐up process, a relearning curve, or a relaunch. As a result, everything takes longer.

11.6

Do the formatting for all word processing tasks – letters, reports and documents, last of all the activities associated with their production.

12.1

Continuing professional development (CPD) is a fundamental part of being a member of any of the major professions. It is the systematic acquisition of knowledge and skills throughout your career. It assures your competence and enables you to move jobs more easily and supports longer‐term career development. It enhances your overall professionalism. So, think about it, plan it, and do it! It won't be long before it's mandatory.

1. Plan your needs and take ownership of your own learning and development.
2. The easy CPD activities are: to go on a training course, attend a lecture, read Project magazine, read other magazines relevant to project management, or more difficult, prepare a paper for publication, and so on.
3. Record what you have done to meet these needs in a reasonable time after the activity. Form a habit so that it becomes a routine when you perform other administrative activities.
4. Consider the learning outcome of the activity and identify further needs.

12.2

A reminder:

• Tell me – I'll forget.
• Show me – I'll remember.
• Involve me – I'll understand.

14.1

Look the part. Buy a decent suit. If you are not a standard size or shape, have it tailor‐made. It will be a worthwhile investment. Make sure your shoes are clean. You never know who will be influenced by such detail.

14.2

Have two or three professional photographs taken for those key publication events.

14.3

You never know when you might be called upon to ‘say a few words.’ Have a speech ready for every formal and semi‐formal occasion that you attend Have a one‐minute speech for that invaluable occasion when you are in the lift (on your own) with the chief executive or other senior manager.

14.4

Write the occasional article for a technical/professional magazine. Tell colleagues and selected other experts what you are trying to write and ask for their views. This will produce something that might get noticed. It looks good on a CV and is excellent PR for your career.

14.5

Work at your presentation skills.

14.6

Inject a ‘smile’ into your written and oral communication.

14.7

Find and develop a confidant(e). A person you can trust and share your secrets and feelings with. You must be able to let off steam to someone: a peer or colleague, someone you can relate to, feel comfortable talking to and, above all, who will keep your secrets.

15.1

Myers Briggs MBTI Test: This is a personality profile developed from the work of Carl G Jung. It measures four dimensions:

• How we orientate to the world  – Extroverted or introverted
• How we perceive the world     – Sensing or intuition
• How we make decisions        – Thinking or feeling
• Lifestyle attitudes         – Judgement or perception

15.2

Thomas Kilmann Conflict Mode Instrument: The TKI identifies five different styles of conflict: competing (assertive, uncooperative) avoiding (unassertive, uncooperative), accommodating (unassertive, cooperative), collaborating (assertive, cooperative) and compromising (intermediate assertiveness and cooperativeness).

15.3

Belbin Self Perception Inventory of Team Role Theory: You will need to complete this inventory through the Belbin web site. The eight team roles are described in Part V, Section Q.

There is plenty of reference material on the Internet for all three of the above highly recommended questionnaires.