A Question of Style
How figures of speech can make your sentences sing
Different expressions create different impressions.
Way back in Lesson Three we talked about sticky writing and suggested a toolbox of techniques to help make your text tacky (in a good way). In this lesson we delve a little deeper into the mechanics of style with a sprint through the fascinating world of figures of speech.
Let’s start with a quick quiz. What have these three sentences got in common?
Miss Bolo…went straight home in a flood of tears and a sedan chair Dickens in The Pickwick Papers
The general who became a slave. The slave who became a gladiator. The gladiator who defied an emperor. Striking story! Commodus in Ridley Scott’s Gladiator
You’re wel-diddly-elcome! Ned Flanders in The Simpsons
All three are—as if you hadn’t guessed—examples of figures of speech; colorful, nonliteral turns of phrase we use to spice up our expression. The first is known as a zeugma (a verb or adjective applied to two or more nouns when it really applies to just one of them), the second is an anadiplosis (repeating the last word of a preceding clause to create a list structure), and the third is a tmesis (splitting a word or phrase apart and inserting another word or space into the gap for dramatic or humorous effect).
Although unlikely to be useful on an hourly basis, all three show how figures of speech can give our words more color, emphasis, and impact. As Roger has written elsewhere,1 figures can be of real benefit to copywriters. They evolved as part of the art of rhetoric, an end-to-end technique for effective communication much loved by Roman senators and the like (hence the Latinate names of many figures). The aim of rhetoric was to present a spoken argument with such power and eloquence that the audience couldn’t help but be convinced. Substitute “spoken” for “written” and that’s a decent definition of copywriting—hence this lesson. Having set the scene, allow us to introduce a few choice figures every copywriter would do well to know.
These posters invite us to picture a human in place of the poster and consider our reaction. The poster is literally a metaphor for an individual.
The Ramones’ first-ever press release. Note the “hundred howitzers” metaphor and “fast drill on a rear molar” simile.
Based on the simile “A vote to close the library is like a vote to burn books,” this ace campaign is worth five minutes of anyone’s time. Search for “Save Troy Library” on YouTube.
Metaphors and similes
Metaphor: A word or phrase that makes an implicit comparison between two unconnected items without using “as” or “like.” For example, “It’s a dog-eat-dog world” or “The Lord is my shepherd.”
Simile: A word or phrase that makes an explicit comparison between two unconnected items using either “as” or “like.” For example “Happy as Larry” or “Sleep like a log.”
Word pictures—in the form of metaphors and similes —beat a straight description every time. They’re tailormade to create striking images in your reader’s mind and pack plenty of meaning into a minuscule space, making them useful when your word count is restricted.
For example, when Johnson & Johnson advertised a new sticking plaster with the line “Say hello to your child’s new bodyguards,” readers immediately understood the plaster was strong, reliable, provided protection, and would generally take care of their kids—just like a bodyguard. It’s all a lot more effective than saying, “This plaster is strong, reliable, provides protection, and will generally take care of your kids— just like a bodyguard.”
Likewise Jergens skincare’s strapline “Science you can touch” worked because the verb “touch” isn’t usually associated with an abstract concept like “science.” The friction caused by the apparent mismatch of these two ideas is what gives this metaphor its heat—a useful technique to know if you’re looking for a tagline.
“Run yourself ugly” isn’t meant to be taken literally. Instead it’s suggesting that sore and sweaty is just a step on the journey to the body beautiful. The tone is maintained in similiar slogans throughout this brochure for Nike.
Def: Extravagant exaggeration for effect, such as the classic “I’ve told you a million times not to exaggerate.”
One effective way to emphasize a point is to massively over-emphasize it. Your audience will know you’re not describing the literal properties of your subject, but they’ll be equally clear that you’re alluding to something pretty exceptional. It’s a curious process by which you can convince readers of a truth by deliberately overstating it.
A great example comes from Young & Rubicam in Singapore and a series of ads they created for Uhu’s new super glue. One ad gave ultra-detailed instructions for the product’s safe use, a second included exhaustive directions to not one but three local hospitals, while the third ad in the series read:
Keep out of reach of:
Small children, the elderly, the infirm, your wife, your husband, your friends, your relatives, the easily distracted, the mentally challenged, hippies, yuppies, teens, tweens, luddites, drunks, the meek, that guy over there, that guy behind him, in fact all those people, guys with nicknames, guys who give their privates nicknames, girls who tolerate guys who give their privates nicknames…
Ending, rather sensibly, on “pets.” All three are heroically hyperbolic.
Chiasmus
Def: A figure of speech made up of two clauses, the second of which reverses the first, for example “When the going gets tough, the tough get going.’
In need of instant profundity? Then do what generations of speechwriters have done and try mirroring one part of a phrase to create a snappy comeback. The result is called a chiasmus—the figure behind Kennedy’s “Ask not what your country can do for you, ask what you can do for your country” and Mae West’s “It’s not the men in your life that counts, it’s the life in your men.”
The chiasmus either presents a mirror image of a concept for the purposes of persuasion, or rebuts a point by turning it around. Along the way it makes the commonplace seem catchy. If you’re stuck for a line try flipping parts of a common phrase to create something new, or try using opposites or contradictions to draw attention to or affirm your point.
If that sounds a bit complex consider these examples. The Apple iMac was originally advertised with the line “Simply amazing. Amazingly simple,” while Harley-Davidson suggested we “Live to ride, ride to live.” Both use the mirroring technique we’ve just described to make their magic.
A close cousin is the implied chiasmus, where words within a phrase are reversed to memorable effect, for example Microsoft’s “You can tell a lot about a company by the people they keep.” Using much the same technique, one of the many superb print ads for The Economist uses the line “Great minds like a think,” which neatly inverts the expected “…think alike” ending.
Translation: Economist readers have intelligence and nothing stimulates thought like our magazine. Which has more stick? Exactly.
Classic overemphasis for effect. We’re left in no doubt as to Uhu’s potency.
An implied chiasmus also provides the raw material for a series of award-winning press and poster ads for courier service FedEx. These showed a pair of hands unwrapping a package containing a long-redundant piece of home technology, with the tagline “Late is as good as never,” which riffs on the familiar idiom “Better late than never.” The implication—that if a package doesn’t arrive on time then there’s no point in it arriving at all—was underscored by the signoff line “Nobody’s in a bigger hurry than we are.”
Parallelism
Def: Presenting two or more parts of a sentence in a similar way to give the whole a well-defined, regular form, for example Caesar’s “I came, I saw, I conquered” or Chevrolet’s “Eye it, try it, buy it.”
Parallelism is the copywriter’s friend. If you’ve got several related things to say, try looking for a consistent structure in which to say them. You can then present the results in either sentence form or as bullets. It works a treat.
Parallelism comes in various forms—the two we’ll cover are the bicolon and the tricolon. Sometimes called “the rule of two” (bicolon) and “the rule of three” (tricolon), both are ready-made structures ripe for creating memorable lines.
Rule-of-two examples include Timex watches’ “It takes a licking, and keeps on ticking,” Nissan’s “Everything you want, nothing you don’t,” and Nice ’n Easy Shampoo’s “The closer he gets, the better you look.”
Then there’s this slogan for Bounce fabric softener: “Stops static before static stops you.” In the first part the noun “static” is the object of the verb “stops,” while in the second it becomes the subject. The addition of alliteration only introduces extra melody to the phrase.
The rule of three is an equally powerful weapon in your persuasive arsenal. It suggests completeness in a way that a two-item couplet can’t quite manage, and has a nice rhythm that a four-point approach lacks. In fact anything with four points and above is a common-orgarden list—very useful, of course, but not what we’re interested in here. The group of three can work at the word level (“Location, location, location”), the phrase level (“Government of the people, by the people, for the people”), and the sentence level, as a UK print ad for Honda cars shows (see p.147):
There is a place where dreamers go. Where crazy flights of fancy are valued above all else. Where the only good idea is an idea that’s never been had before. Where dreams can become real. It’s called The Patent Office, Concept House, Newport – M4, junction 28, first roundabout, fourth exit.
Without wishing to analyze the magic out of this charming paragraph,2 the three sentences beginning with “where” create an increasing sense of expectation and excitement, which is then amusingly dashed by the Concept House comedown.
All these examples introduce a rhythm to the writing that’s both attractive and practical. By making the structure of your sentences predictable (in the best possible way) you’ll help your readers make sense of them. The trick, as we say, is to use grammatically equivalent phrases presented in a regular format. With a little imagination you can use parallelism to present a complex group of ideas in a way that doesn’t read like a list—a useful skill for all writers.
Pure parallelism in list format.
There are two parallel features here; the repetition of “…drink it because…,” and the pairing of “…it’s from Texas…” with “…it’s not from England.”
Creating a basic pun isn’t hard: Find a key word, locate another that sounds alike, then swap them around—that is how this ad works, with “Leader’s” standing in for “Reader’s” to humorous effect.
More tricolon action. Notice how the neat three-part structure is perfect for describing a sequence of events, rather like Caesar’s “I came, I saw, I conquered.”
The tricolon at work. Classic stuff.
Anne Lamott is the author of one of my favorite books on writing— Bird By Bird. The title itself is one of the first lessons Anne gives us, in which she recalls having to write a long report about birds for school. She was daunted by the size of the project and finally in frustration asked her dad, “How am I ever going to write this?!?” And her wise father answered, “Bird by bird, Anne. Bird by bird.”
And so it goes with all of our creative projects, be it writing, art, or film.
Creative projects are daunting. In fact, the more we care about a project, the scarier it is, the larger it begins to loom over the measly 24 hours available in our day. Setting out, we begin to see all the wonderful angles we might explore, and we freeze. We tighten up and pull back.
This is when resistance to writing usually kicks in. Happens to me all the time. In fact, the way I procrastinate is to “do research.” Gathering material and back story may be a key part of the problem-solving process, but I use it as a crutch or, rather, a hidey-hole. I can’t possibly begin to write this! Don’t you see how MUCH there is I don’t know?
Recognizing that we are indeed resisting work is the first step. So we take a deep adult breath and tell ourselves, “It’s time to start, dear.”
Start … OK. Fine, start … but how? This big-ass project? It’s still here, spilled all over my desktop, its files obliterating the serene screensaver picture of the lake, the lake I’m never going to sit next to because of this damn project. Fine! I’ll start! But where? Where do I start?
And again, Ms. Lamott comes to our rescue with another piece of calm and loving advice.
“Start from where you are.”
Wow.
When you think about it, how can we start anywhere else? We have to start from here. And yet most of us want to somehow maaaaybe just think our way down the road a piece, not far, you know, maybe start mapping out the journey, just sorta get a grip on this dang thing, maybe also get the 30,000-foot view of all the different roads and, dammit, let’s solve the whole stinkin’ thing right now! And again, our mental wagon train grinds to a halt before we even start west.
“Start from where you are.”
So, this is the piece of advice I have most loved. I remember using it recently while writing a book. There it sat in my computer, non-existent, completely unwritten, with different chapters all burning for immediate attention.
The thing is, there was one scene I couldn’t wait to write. This particular scene was smack dab in the middle of the book. I can’t start there. Can I?
And I did. I started exactly there. This scene was the part I was most excited about writing, which made it exactly the right place for me to pick up the project. I could worry about the opening chapters later. I could worry about the end later. But simply by picking up this one part that interested me, I was able to keep at it, to stay bent over my keyboard for the longest time; and enjoy doing it.
Thanks, Anne. And now I pass it on to you guys. See that part of your big project that’s the most interesting piece? Start there.
Luke is a copywriter with over three decades’ experience at some of America’s leading ad agencies, including Fallon, The Martin Agency, and GSD&M. His trophy cabinet bulges with all manner of shiny awards, including over 20 medals from the prestigious One Show (advertising’s equivalent of the Oscars). Originally from Minnesota, Luke now chairs the advertising department at the Savannah College of Art and Design and is the author of the quite superb Hey Whipple, Squeeze This: The Classic Guide to Creating Great Ads. Additionally, he just released a memoir titled Thirty Rooms To Hide In: Insanity, Addiction, and Rock ’n’ Roll in the Shadow of the Mayo Clinic.
Def: A playful substitution of words that sound alike but mean different things, for example the timeless, “My wife and I went on holiday to the Caribbean.” “Jamaica?” “No, she went of her own accord.”
Humor is a great attractor/persuader. Puns in
particular make superb sticky lines but only if they help make the message more persuasive or memorable. The fact we’ve started this section with a warning highlights the fact that caution is required. Nevertheless puns can be a brilliantly effective way to create stickiness, something every tabloid headline writer knows only too well.
You may be aware that puns have a mixed reputation; indeed some people believe they have no place in copywriting. To their detractors we say only this: when you’ve written something to beat the Economist campaign let us know. Almost entirely text-based, this long-running series of print and poster ads has employed such masterful pun-based lines as “Free enterprise with every copy,” “Attracts magnates,” “Honing device,” and “Utter brilliance.” What makes these ads so special is their (no pun intended) economy—the pun format enables their writers to pack far more into each phrase than would otherwise be possible. The result is one of the best text-based campaigns ever created.
Puns are popular with many writers for the simple reason that they’re fun to create and can spice up an otherwise straight-faced piece of communication. For example, Morton Salt advertised their damp-resistant salt with the line “When it rains, it pours” (punning on the idea of different levels of downpour), only for Michelin Tyres to respond with “When it pours, it reigns” (punning on the similarity of rain/reign).
Punny chocolate packaging. Worked for us.
This ad ran in the program of the Global Leadership Forum, an international conference at which Donald Trump was the keynote speaker. History doesn’t recall his reaction.
Similarly, Corona soft drinks employed the tagline “Every bubble’s passed its fizzical” (punning on the similarity of physical and fizzical), while Coca-Cola used “Coke refreshes you like no other can” (based on the double meaning of “can” as both a beverage container and an indication of possibility). The Times newspaper in the UK went with “Our sages know their onions,” punning on the phrase “To know one’s onions” (and the idea that experts are sometimes called “sages”), while More cigarettes enjoined us to “Ask for more,” a pun that works by associating their brand name with the idea we shouldn’t be satisfied with anything less.
Finally—and staying with the “more” theme—Durex chose to advertise their new “climax delay” condoms with the slogan “roger more” spelt out in condomshaped lettering. This pun on the name of the ex-007 actor cheekily emphasized the key benefit of their new product—or at least it did until the UK’s advertising watchdog ruled it offensive on the grounds that it might promote casual sex.3
Before we leave puns we should pause briefly to examine a closely related figure, the antanaclasis (from the Greek for “reflection” or “bending back”). This cousin of the pun involves repeating a single word but with a different meaning each time. For example Vidal Sassoon’s “If you don’t look good, we don’t look good,” Coca-Cola’s “People on the go, go for Coke,” and Felix cat food’s “Cats like Felix like Felix.” Like puns, a great technique for sticky lines of all descriptions.
From “our” to “aah,” a neat switch that builds on the brand’s long-standing “Aah, Bisto” tagline.
Def: The repetition of the initial sound or letter of a word, as in “It takes two to tango,” “The more the merrier,” “Rolls-Royce,” or “Dunkin’ Donuts.”
Alliteration is a simple way to create pleasing phrases out of unpromising source material. It’s one of the few figures of speech taught at school (certainly in the UK) and is part and parcel of everyday language, cropping up in common idioms and phrases like, well, “part and parcel.” Thanks to its ability to make the commonplace catchy, alliteration is also at the heart of many a marvelous mnemonic. If you’re stuck for a snappy phrase, try adding some alliteration and see where it gets you.
Alliteration is really about repetition. The Girl Guides promote themselves with a great alliterative line: “Dream. Dare. Do.” (technically speaking that’s three lines but let’s not get hung up on periods), Jaguar Cars issued the following challenge to US buyers: “Don’t dream it. Drive it.” Then there’s “Maybe it’s Maybelline,” “If anyone can, Canon can,” “You can be sure of Shell”… the list goes on.
In contrast to many of the figures we’ve examined, alliteration comes naturally to many writers and is perhaps the most accessible figure described here. Yet this commendable urge to add melody to our words comes with an important caveat. Although it looks simple enough, alliteration has to be deliberate to work well. Alliterate by all means, just do it with confidence.
Oxymoron and paradox
Oxymoron: A figure of speech in which opposing or incongruous ideas are placed together to create a surprising new meaning, for example, “Cruel to be kind” or “Less is more.” Often mistakenly used as a synonym for “contradiction in terms,” for example “military intelligence.”
Paradox: “A truth standing on its head to attract our attention,” although you could say the same about oxymora in general (and many other figures). The main difference between the two is length—paradoxes tend to be longer and more sentence-like than oxymora.
Both these figures are examples of what’s sometimes called a “self-canceling phrase,” a bright, energetic image that draws attention to its subject by opposing what we instinctively know to be true. The result jolts us into paying attention. Architect Mies van der Rohe could have described his affection for minimalism as “Simple is best” but he didn’t; instead he came up with (or more correctly borrowed) “Less is more,” a phrase that makes much the same point but with far more style and impact.4
Oxymora and paradoxes work by exploiting the power of truth, then doing the opposite of what’s expected. For example, a recent “call for entries” for the Singapore Creative Circle advertising awards used exactly this approach to grab its readers’ attention. As is usual with such documents, it began by asking for the:
•Nominated ad:
•Agency involved:
•Art director and writer responsible for the ad:
So far so normal, but without missing a beat it then went on to ask for:
•Guy in the room at the time:
•Creative director who didn’t understand the idea but is now taking all the credit:
•Finance person who said there was no money in awards:
•Freelancer who said it was all his idea:
•Other creatives who managed to get their name associated with it:
•Account handler whose brief had nothing to do with the final ad:
Its total honesty mocks the proliferation of names that tend to attach themselves to successful ads. As a result, this simple little form stood out and achieved its intended effect with admirable economy.
Irony and sarcasm
Irony: A figure of speech that emphasizes the conflict between the literal and intended meaning of a statement. One thing is said but its opposite is implied.
Sarcasm: A form of wit that deliberately makes its victim the butt of contempt or ridicule.
These two are closely related. The difference is intent: Irony just is, whereas sarcasm usually has a purpose. What’s more, sarcasm consciously tries to be funny whereas irony usually doesn’t (although it might be unintentionally humorous).
Irony is a useful way to create high-impact headlines, especially in situations where it’s fine to mock someone’s folly. Sarcasm turns up the volume on irony and is effective when you need to talk about something serious, unpleasant, or just plain boring in a way that gets past people’s mental defenses.
Irony is notoriously hard to define, although we usually know it when we see it. There’s often an amusing inconsistency or incongruity at work, in which an apparently straightforward statement is undercut by its context to suggest a very different meaning. This great little print ad for a Scottish undertakers (created in conjunction with a local health group) does exactly that: “Thank you for smoking.”
We shouldn’t laugh but we do. Sarcasm for a serious purpose.
There’s something deliciously ironic about presenting contemporary tech in such a deliberately dated way. We’re not entirely sure what the point is but we like it.
Using nothing more than white text on a black background it raises awareness of the dangers of cigarettes by ironically thanking smokers for their future custom. Similar and equally ironic antismoking ad lines include “For more information on lung cancer, keep smoking” and the brutally no-nonsense “Cancer cures smoking.”
In a similar vein, we can’t resist this brilliantly written radio ad for Stonewall, the group that campaigns for equality, fairness, and safety on behalf of the nonhetero population. It begins:
Gay son: Mum, Dad, I’m gay.
Dad: YES!!!
Mum: O-my-God, O-my-God, O-my-God, we’ve got a gay son!! Wait until I tell my sister! She’s going to be so jealous.
Dad: I don’t want to get my hopes up. You sure you’re gay?
Gay son: I’m gay.
Dad: On a scale of one to ten?
Gay Son: Eleven.
Dad: As a tangerine?
Gay son: As a tangerine.
Dad: Yeah! High five!!
Dad: Hey, Reverend Wallis! Didn’t see you standing in the porch there. I have a gay son!
Reverend: I heard and I just want you to know that God loves him and the Church accepts him with open arms.
Dad: Sweet!
The final voiceover nails the irony with admirable restraint:
Until the world is a little more like this, we’re here.
Turning to sarcasm, a fine example comes from a press ad run by Scotland’s Lothian and Borders Fire Brigade, intended to “encourage” people to fit home smoke alarms (p.153). Deliberately low budget, the result mimics a certain type of market research ad often found in the classified sections of local papers. The banner headline reads, “Are you dead? Did you die in a house fire? If so we’d love to hear from you!” Under which are a series of bullet points:
•What’s it like being burnt to death?
•Does it hurt?
•Did you smell like chicken?
•The afterlife, where’s good?
•Still got your “whatever happens, happens” attitude?
•Do you know Elvis?
Before ending on:
•Do you regret not spending £5 on a smoke alarm?
By treating this most serious subject in a light-hearted way, the writers poke fun at people who do the same thing at home, highlighting their stupidity and making a memorable message at the same time. The lesson is that sarcasm can be used positively to make a point— all it takes is a little imagination and the confidence to be rude where it counts.
Gentle sarcasm that also underscores Timex’s timekeeping expertise.
Now you have a go
Using the figures of speech described here can take practice. It’s a question of getting your eye in and seeing the potential in your source material. It’s also about giving yourself permission to have fun with words and explore the outer limits of language. These exercises should get you started.
Workout One
Number 10 York Street is an ordinary office building in an extraordinary location, right next door to the iconic 20 York Street building in central London (the world-famous “Pickle” tower).
As 20 York is only half finished, the owners of 10 York are having trouble letting their very reasonably priced office space due to the dirt and noise coming from the huge building site next door. They’ve commissioned you to come up with some high-impact lines to put this right. Your mission is to sell 10 York to prospective tenants by pointing out its many benefits, and overcoming objections about dirt and disruption using the techniques described in this lesson. Your work will be used on billboards, press ads, and web banners, so each line should be 12 words or less in length.
To help you, the owners of 10 York provide some background material. A key point is that, once completed, 20 York will have a large and very beautiful rooftop garden open to the public. Also, its ground floor will be very smart and, again, open to everyone, with cafes, bars, and upmarket stores. Both are perfect lunchtime and evening destinations for workers from 10 York. So tenants of 10 York get all the benefits of 20 York but without the huge rent bill. Also bear in mind that while it’s very noisy today, the construction phase will end in 18 months.
Workout Two
An engineering company wants to run some trade ads to promote their new name (“Quantum”) and core brand message (“Precision is everything”). The aim is to announce their new brand and establish their credentials as suppliers of technically advanced precision weighing equipment to specialist manufacturing businesses across Europe.
Your job is to come up with a series of sticky lines that do exactly that. Use the techniques and figures described in this lesson to write one or more lines that announce the arrival of Quantum’s new brand and emphasize their excellence. To help you, the big idea behind their new brand is “smart thinking”—Quantum are highly intelligent yet down to earth, happy both in the boardroom and on the factory floor. Try to reflect these qualities in your lines.
1. In his book Sounds Good on Paper, Roger investigated the role of figures of speech in business writing. SGOP is the source of much of this chapter.
2. As Wordsworth wrote, “We murder to dissect.” His point was that too much analysis tends to kill whatever made something special in the first place.
3. Apparently just three people objected. Durex complied and pulled the ads but admitted they were “perplexed by the decision.”
4. “Less is more” was lifted from Robert Browning’s 1855 poem “Andrea del Sarto,” a poem in the collection Men and Women. Browning in turn had taken it from eighteenth-century German poet Christoph Martin Wieland, who credited another German writer, Gotthold Lessing, with its creation.