ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

This book is the product of many people, who supported us in many different ways.

To start with, we want to thank our editor Steve Piersanti, founder of Berrett-Koehler Publishers. Steve trusted us to create a worthy book, then kept giving us encouragement as well as sage advice to make it better. We also thank the broader BK team that has made Reinventing Masculinity possible, sometimes through candid and even hard-to-hear feedback. This appreciation extends to Kirsten Janene-Nelson for her thoughtful edits.

One of the great things about BK is its extended community—a community of authors, readers, reviewers, and activists dedicated to creating a world that works for all. We’re grateful to that bigger BK circle as well. A special shout out to fellow BK author Marilee Adams, who put us Eds together initially, believing that we’d find a way to make two Eds better than one.

We also want to make some individual acknowledgments.

Edward M. Adams, PsyD

No worthy project is ever accomplished alone and this book is no exception.

Marilee Adams, my wife, is also my anchor and champion. I am a lucky man to love and be loved by such a smart, beautiful, and wise woman. With Marilee’s abiding care and respect, my heart doesn’t just tick—it dances through life.

My relationship with my son, David Zachary Adams, has given me the experience of father love. But it should be known that Zak makes it easy to love him. Thank you for teaching me how connected a father can feel toward his son.

My immediate family has been the cornerstone of my life. Ed and Rose Adams ignited compassion in my soul and taught me the value of connecting with a purpose beyond myself. My sisters, Kathy Inglert and Robin Richardson, are continuous sources of love and pride. And thank you for bringing Laura, Emily, Deanna, Shane, and Mark into my life.

Then, there are all the men in my life; men I met in friendship and men I had the privilege to help in therapy. Men who mentored and believed in me and even men who inflicted wounds. What I know about masculinities has much to do with you. A special thank you to Rutgers University, Paul Gilbert for his courage and pioneering work on compassion, and to Gen Wangden, a Buddhist monk whose teaching of Dharma opened many doors for my soul to enter.

I am indebted to the men and women within my home in the American Psychological Association’s Division 51. This division is small but mighty. And it uses its might to help make the world a better place for men and women to live and grow. I thank those who had the vision to start Division 51 and those who work hard every day to sustain that vision. Some of these men and women include Mike Andronico, Larry Beer, Tyler Bradstreet, Gary Brooks, Cary Cherniss, Brian Cole, Jon Davies, Will Elder, Bill Johnson, Dick Kessler, Chris Kilmartin, Mark Kiselica, Chris Kot- sen, Ron Levant, Chris Liang, Judith Logue, Neil Massoth, Ryon McDermott, Fred Rabinowitz, Christopher Reigeluth, David Shepard, Dan Singley, Andrew Smiler, and Jay Wade. I worked closely with Holly Barlow Sweet, Daniel Ellenberg, Michele Harway, Ryan McKelley, Michael Parent, Wizdom Powell, Randa Remer-Eskridge, and David Whitcomb. You and everyone else within the division positively influenced my tenure as president and helped deepen my understanding of men and masculinities.

I am particularly grateful to the men involved with Men Mentoring Men (M3) over the past thirty years. You are some of the most courageous, dedicated, and visionary men I will ever have the pleasure to call friends—period. I have always felt honored and inspired by your belief in the core values of M3. These values focus on courage, compassion, and connection. You are living proof of the power of men to upgrade the man-rules. And there are times when you actually listened to me no matter how challenging or confronting a request. Please know two important things. First, you make our world a better place to live. Second, you represent the best of what men are about.

There are so many individual men of M3 to appreciate, too many to mention because the list keeps growing. But I want to thank the men who signed on to M3 in its early stage and enabled it grow, the men who serve as executive board members, and each of the present and past presidents and group leaders. These men volunteer their wisdom and love to help other men move toward and sustain a more generous and caring manhood.

I want to honor my writing partner, Ed Frauenheim. You are a kind, smart, insightful, and loving man with strong writing skills. I deeply respect your desire for men and women to wake up and do something to make our world a safer and more loving place. You are a man with a deep soul.

Finally, thank you, our readers, for caring about men and liberating masculinities. The only way things will improve in our crazy world is for good people to join forces and reclaim compassion as a force of life—as well as to offer kindness and love to sustain it.

Ed Frauenheim

I thank my father, Edward E. Frauenheim III, for showing me an unconventional, always-curious, loving kind of manhood, and for remaining a great support to me. This book also owes a lot to my deceased mom, Marty Frauenheim. She not only helped me believe in myself, but modeled kind-and-firm leadership in her professional life that blended the best “feminine” and “masculine” traits.

In addition, I’m grateful for my brother and sister. Kirk Frauenheim is one of the finest men you could meet, and Kate Criddle is one of the wisest souls I know.

Close male friends have been on this journey toward a liberating masculinity with me. They live in these pages: Raúl Ramos, Jason Patent, Paul Rudnick, Joel Zarrow, Art Bender, and David Balsley.

I also thank my “men-in-laws” for modeling positive versions of masculinity: Carl Richie, Carty Richie, Steve Richie, and Daniel Criddle.

A range of other people and communities have carried me through this process or made important contributions. They include my Teal Team peeps: Newt Bailey, Marcus Erb, Julia Markish, Travis Marsh, Jay Newman, Valerie Rivera, Matt Spaur, and Paul Thallner. Also vital were my Fighting Snakessss pals Teresa Iafolla and Jessica Rohman. My writing group, the Heralds, has lifted me up and shaken sense into my words for years: Erin Albert, Monique Beeler, Leslie Mladinich, and Rachel Roberson.

I also had great support from my colleagues at Great Place to Work. A special shout out to Michael C. Bush, Ann Nadeau, and Chris Tkaczyk for enabling me to pursue this book. And to my content cronies Nancy Ceseña, Chandni Kazi, Tony Bond, Sarah Lewis-Kulin, Julian Lute, Lorena Martinez, Julie Musilek, Tabitha Russell Wilhelmsen, Lizelle Festejo Hsu, Cessi Riva Mosquera, Otto Zell, Jamie Dowden, Kristen McCammon, Erika Richardson Koh, and Tessa Herns (and Marcus again) for the partnership and the research findings we’ve made that show we need to reinvent masculinity at work.

Temple Crocker, Alan Briskin, Maren Showkeir, Kanu Kogod, Michelle Rafter, Mary Egan, David Ferris, Samantha Slade, Paul Messer, Jennifer Kahnweiler, Libby Bestul, Colette Plum, Helen Nadel, Laura Kelly, Sara Jansen Perry, Courtney Hanny, Josh Goldfein, Maggi Henderson, Dusty Araujo, Paul Wright, David Marshall, Laurie Bassi, Dan McMurrer, Wendy Cai and the Maxfield’s crew, Charu Rachlis, Stephanie Snyder, and Jason Bowman all get credit for feeding my head, touching my heart, or guiding my hands—sometimes all three.

I have great appreciation for my coauthor, Ed Adams. Ed taught me so much about men, the common challenges we face, and the possibilities open to us. I’m grateful for all the good he has done in his work over many years, for his artistic additions to this book, and for his caring collaboration overall.

My greatest thanks come last. I am grateful to my son, Julius, and my daughter, Skyla. These two teens keep teaching me about a better masculinity. And I thank my wife, Rowena Richie. She had my back on this project, and for two decades she has helped me become ever-freer as a man.

We’re sure we’ve left out important people. Please forgive those omissions. And while the people mentioned above deserve credit if this book moves you, it’s not their fault if it doesn’t. That would be on us.

Edward M. Adams and Ed Frauenheim