CHAPTER 6

CQ ACTION

Learning to be effective in cross-cultural situations requires more than learning a few dos and don’ts. But at the end of the day, our cultural intelligence is ultimately judged based on how we behave. CQ Action asks the question: What behaviors should I adapt for this cross-cultural situation? This is when we move beyond our motivation, understanding, and strategy to actually engaging in our multicultural work and relationships.

WHAT’S CQ ACTION GOT TO DO WITH IT?

CQ Action is your level of adaptability when relating and working cross-culturally. This is where the rubber meets the road. Can you behave in ways that are effective and respectful in cross-cultural situations while still remaining true to yourself? CQ Action is not mimicking whomever we’re with. It’s learning which actions need to be adapted and which don’t. All four CQ capabilities are vitally important, but individuals will judge us most based on this one.

There have been all kinds of cultural behaviors going on between Robert and Sana. They really show up in their phone conversation, from Robert’s attempts at humor and clarification to Sana’s questions and requests. An understanding of CQ Action will help us analyze how well Robert’s approach with the Middle Eastern guests worked and what was meant by their response.

Again, CQ Action asks the question: What behaviors should I adapt for this cross-cultural situation? This is primarily about social etiquette and appropriate behavior to suit a particular context. Etiquette doesn’t usually become an issue until you engage in “bad” manners. Then suddenly, it stands out. CQ Action includes adapting your verbal and nonverbal behaviors and changing your speech acts—the way you approach different topics and situations.

Individuals with high CQ Action can draw on the other three capabilities of CQ to translate their enhanced motivation, understanding, and planning into action. They possess a broad repertoire of behaviors, which they can use depending on the context. They know when to adapt and when not to adapt. People with extremely high CQ Action flex their behavior appropriately without even giving it much thought. But even the most culturally intelligent individuals still encounter cultural situations that require new adaptations and behaviors.

ASSESSING YOUR CQ ACTION

How is your CQ Action? To what degree can you adapt your behavior while still remaining authentic? Based on the feedback report that accompanies the online CQ Self-Assessment, what overall CQ Action score did you receive?*

From what you’re learning about CQ Action in this chapter, are you surprised by the results? Keep in mind that the self-assessment is just one snapshot of your view of your CQ capabilities at a particular point in time. But it’s worth considering the results, given the high level of reliability found in the assessment as used among individuals around the world.

In order to dig more deeply into your CQ Action, the inventory also helps you assess your cultural understanding in three specific areas of CQ Action (nonverbal, verbal, and speech acts). There has been extensive research examining the way these various forms of behavior influence your interactions and work cross-culturally.¹ Write your scores for each of the following and note the descriptions of these sub-dimensions:

These three sub-dimensions of CQ Action—nonverbal, verbal, and speech acts—are the scientific bases for the strategies that follow. You’ll see these sub-dimensions alongside the list of strategies at the beginning of the next section. Not every strategy fits perfectly with a single sub-dimension, but the strategies have been organized according to the sub-dimension with which they are most closely associated. In this capability especially, there’s tremendous overlap between the various strategies for CQ Action and the specific sub-dimensions with which they’re associated. Use your scores from the sub-dimensions of CQ Action to help you pinpoint which strategies to use first (presumably the strategies that go with the sub-dimension where you scored lowest).

 

IMPROVING YOUR CQ ACTION

The following section is a list of strategies to help you improve your CQ Action. All these strategies are anchored in science and research on intercultural behavior, and they stem from the three sub-dimensions of CQ Action (nonverbal, verbal, and speech acts). The point is not for you to use all these strategies right now. There are many paths to increasing CQ Action. Start with a couple that interest you.

 

1.   DEVELOP A REPERTOIRE OF SOCIAL SKILLS

I’ve continually said you don’t need to master all the practices and taboos of every culture you encounter. You can’t. But it’s worth developing a repertoire of various social skills and drawing on the insights gained from CQ Knowledge and CQ Strategy to know when and where you should use these various skills.

Look for cues on the basic manners expected in a culture, many of which come down to nonverbal behaviors. How should you greet people, and how does that vary if it’s someone with higher “status” than you? What if it’s someone from the opposite gender? What should you do with your hands and feet, and how should you eat? Social etiquette is highly subject to cultural differences. Don’t worry about doing this perfectly. But pick up on the different nonverbal behaviors used in various cultures and add some to your repertoire.

This strategy can also be used to work on adapting your verbal behavior and speech acts for various social occasions. For example, you can develop a variety of back-pocket questions for use in various cultures. In many African, Asian, and Latin American cultures, questions about one’s extended family and their origins can be very valuable. Learn how to talk about your own family and background. In other contexts, inquiring about one’s views of recent political events or even religious realities can be effective (and can be very ineffective in other contexts—e.g., many Chinese or American associates would be very uncomfortable discussing this with someone they don’t know well).

One of the strategies for increasing your CQ Knowledge (Chapter 4) was increasing your global awareness. This can help here. When you’re aware of a recent event that’s happened in someone’s country, it goes a long way to demonstrate respect and understanding. If you’re visiting a place where they’ve just had a major victory in cricket or football, bring it up. You don’t have to pretend you understand the game. In fact, a great way to demonstrate your interest in the other person’s culture could be to ask for a tutorial on the game. What major elections have recently occurred that might influence the individuals you’re encountering? What economic realities have been occurring? Some awareness and understanding of recent events and local concerns will increase your effectiveness when interacting cross-culturally in social interactions.

All of this broadens your repertoire of social skills. Eat a meal with your hands, practice using a bow to greet someone, and talk without having any expression on your face. This broadening of your nonverbal behaviors and social skills will improve your ability to adapt your behavior when a cultural situation requires it.

 

2.   BE AN ACTOR

Try imitating the behaviors of someone else. Actors do this all the time. They follow police officers or spend time in hospitals to try to take on the attitudes, disposition, and concerns of the people they are trying to portray in their acting roles. Most acting lessons don’t focus on learning lines and projecting the voice nearly as much as learning behavior. Good actors live in the world of imagination and take on the thoughts, emotions, attitudes, and circumstances of the character in a way that seems authentic. There’s a great deal we can learn from the acting world for CQ Action.

Acting schools often help individuals deal with accents and dialects, too. Depending on the cultural intelligence of others with whom you interact, your competency may be unfairly judged if you consistently pronounce words differently from how they’re pronounced by a particular group of people. Listen to how things are said and see if you can imitate it.

A good actor gets into the skin of the character he’s portraying. In a similar way, the more you can identify with the individuals from various cultures, the better your ability to act like they do. First, imagine yourself in the shoes of someone from a different culture. Consider how you might see the world differently if you had been born in India or Switzerland. How might your relationship with your parents be different? How about your educational experience or your religious perspective? Then try imitating some of the behaviors you might use if you were from one of these places. Be very cautious here. If we aren’t careful, mimicry can seem like mockery. In real-life cross-cultural encounters, the best approach isn’t always to imitate all the behaviors we observe. One of the crucial parts of having enhanced CQ Action is knowing when you should flex your behavior to mirror the behavior of others and when you shouldn’t. That understanding grows with the overall development of your cultural intelligence.

The acting strategy here is less about what you do when you actually interact cross-culturally and more of an action plan for developing and enhancing your CQ Action “off-stage.” Behind the scenes, respectfully practice the way you might negotiate a deal if you were a “typical” businessperson from Beijing as compared to Mexico City. Imitate the voice and style of someone you know.

The late sociologist Erving Goffman suggested that acting is something we all do everyday. We continually perform in front of others all day long, switching roles, costumes, and behavior, depending on the audience. Goffman argued that in our acting in everyday life, we strive to leave an impression that is as positive as possible, working to avoid any missed lines or off-key notes that can disrupt the entire performance.²

There will be times when learning to imitate the behaviors of another culture will enhance our ability to interact. Some people pick up cues and mimic quickly while others may need to practice much longer. One of my favorite things to do when I travel with my daughters is to hear them try to pick up the local language or dialect. It’s fun to hear them repeat the sounds they hear. They do a way better job than me of imitating the true local style. When done respectfully and thoughtfully, mimicry can be a fun way to work on growing CQ Action.

It would be inauthentic for Sana and Haani to abandon all of their cultural background. But they could benefit by spending some time at home imitating how the stereotypical Midwestern couple in their stage of life would behave. This will help them identify with the people they’re going to continually encounter in Indianapolis.

Many actors have played very convincing roles without having experienced anything close in real life to what they’re acting out on stage or film. Acting professionals are ideal people to help us learn to adapt our behavior and to thereby increase our CQ Action.

 

3.   MAKE TABOOS TABOO

Eliminate the behaviors that are most taboo in a culture you regularly encounter. Most people are forgiving of unintentional blunders when it comes to cross-cultural behavior. But it goes a long way when you avoid some of the basic offenses in the cultures you most often encounter.

The many tips offered in some books about the colors you should avoid or the inappropriate ways to greet people are helpful, but they can quickly become overwhelming. If you’re doing extensive work with one culture, take the time to learn these specific things. However, most of us who move in and out of a lot of different cultures should find out what the major taboos are for cultures you most regularly encounter. Then keep your antenna up to discover other taboos you should avoid.

For example, it’s a good rule of thumb to simply avoid handing people something with your left hand, since that’s a highly offensive behavior in many cultures around the world. Avoid extended eye contact with the opposite sex unless you’re certain it’s appropriate for the individual and culture you’re encountering. Pay attention to status and hierarchy, and let the person with higher status lead the way on the verbal and nonverbal interactions you have.

Robert’s reference to the Christmas party could offend all kinds of people who come from different religious backgrounds, Sana included. Shaking her hand when they first met is also a taboo for many Muslim women. Robert can’t be expected to know all these things but will be a more effective leader if he learns some of the basics and comes up with some behavioral strategies to follow the lead of culturally different people he meets.

The bestselling book Kiss, Bow, or Shake Hands is a great resource to keep on your shelf.³ You can quickly look up the protocols for business and social interaction for more than sixty countries. In many cases, you’ll be in the midst of a cross-cultural encounter with no advanced warning so you can’t whip out a book and look up the taboos. Do the best you can, and then afterward, educate yourself and keep building your repertoire of behaviors so that you know which taboos to avoid. Here are a few taboos worth avoiding almost anywhere, since they are potentially offensive in so many cultures.

•   Never photograph or touch a religious symbol (e.g., Buddha statute) without permission.

•   Don’t use your left hand to give a person something.

•   Don’t touch someone on the head.

•   Don’t touch your feet or put them up on furniture.

•   Don’t ask what someone’s income is.

•   Don’t cuss or swear. What might seem innocent or appropriate in your context might be offensive elsewhere.

•   Never initiate touch with the opposite sex.

•   Avoid telling jokes or trying too hard to be humorous. It rarely translates cross-culturally.

•   Avoid all ethnic slurs and jokes.

•   Don’t assume someone shares your views about politics, sexuality, religion, and so on.

Even this brief list plays out so differently in lots of places. And most taboos are culturally specific. For example, some cultures are very comfortable discussing age or personal income levels, but there are so many places where it is considered taboo that you’re safer just not going there unless the other individual does. You can practice avoiding these behaviors even at home. If using both hands equally is fine in your culture, try going this next week without handing anyone anything with your left hand. Then pick another behavior that might not be offensive at home but try avoiding it for a week, just for practice.

 

4.   USE BASIC VOCABULARY

Language is a strategy that cuts through all four CQ capabilities, but it’s most relevant to CQ Knowledge (studying a language) and CQ Action (using the language). There’s no substitute for being fluent in a language to have the utmost effectiveness interacting, but that simply isn’t possible for all the cultures we encounter.

For the cultures we most frequently encounter where we don’t speak the language, many of the day-to-day issues and needs can be communicated with a core set of phrases and body language. This minimal vocabulary approach is very useful when you don’t speak the language. Here’s a list of crucial phrases worth learning to speak in other languages:

•   Please

•   Thank you

•   Sorry

•   Yes

•   No

•   Good

•   Not good

•   Hello

•   Goodbye

•   How much and too much (these two, used with a calculator or a piece of paper for writing numbers, are especially helpful when you’re shopping)

•   Come here

•   Go there

•   Doesn’t work (used in combination with pointing or handing)

•   The word for your favorite beverage (water, beer, Coke)

•   The word for something common to eat (rice, fish, meat, noodles)

•   The word for a place to sleep (bed, room, hostel)

•   Toilet

It’s so much easier to speak a word or phrase than a complete sentence, and these words cover a lot of ground. For example, “Doesn’t work,” serves a multitude of situations. When you’re in your hotel room, point to the empty toilet paper holder—“doesn’t work” means there is no toilet paper and you want some. On the train, point to the train ticket and say, “Doesn’t work,” and the conductor will find your seat or compartment. At the laundry, point to the missing button and say, “Doesn’t work,” and someone will help you.⁴

I try to learn these phrases when I travel, no matter how short my visit. And if I can’t learn them, I write them down and keep them with me. Learning a language is the key to getting a grip on a culture—but this strategy is better than nothing.

 

5.   TRY NEW VOCAL SOUNDS

Language is the most significant part of our verbal behavior, but there are other important verbal actions to consider adapting, too. Most of us use a variety of vocalizations as part of our communication, probably without even realizing it.

For example, in the midst of conversation, many of us use fillers like “hmm,” “uh-huh,” clicking your tongue, or sucking in your breath. Or it might be the simple repetition of a word like “right,” “got it,” “sure, sure,” or “can.” Pick one of these that you use all the time and try eliminating it during a conversation. Or choose one you don’t often use and try it out.

Another way to use this strategy is to think about your volume when you speak. How can you vary your volume to express different meanings? In many cultures, loud talking means power and authority and soft implies you lack confidence. Of course, it might mean just the opposite in another culture. For now, the purpose of this strategy is to just become comfortable with varying your volume when you talk. Try it during interpersonal conversations as well as in public speaking and see what occurs. Robert, like many African American men in the corporate context, has learned to soften his natural volume to avoid being perceived as a threatening, “angry black man.”

Even when the same language is spoken, such as English, there’s a great deal of variety in how words are pronounced. There are many variations in the way English is spoken in Australia as compared to India or Canada. And many differences exist even within the same countries, such as the varied dialects heard across the United Kingdom or throughout regions of the United States.

There are also some important differences that exist among English speakers, such as the way consonants are pronounced. For example, the United States usually uses a very hard “r” as compared to many English-speaking regions that use a much softer “r.” Think of the way park is pronounced in New York vs. in Singapore. As insignificant as this might seem, strong assumptions can be formed about you based on these kinds of verbal behaviors. Try using a variety of verbal approaches to expand your options when you interact with someone from a different culture. You’ll need to use the other capabilities of CQ to know whether you should actually adjust your pronunciation, but at least work on being able to do so if and when the situation calls for it.

Even though Sana and Haani have grown up in the United States, they’re a real combination of their parents’ Middle Eastern cultures and the mainstream American culture. Ensuring that Haani is comfortable with Robert would be an important value to many individuals coming from an Arab American culture. The phone conversation between Robert and Sana is awkward because cross-cultural differences are often felt more profoundly with the absence of any visual cues. Many Americans (myself included!) find it difficult to talk to someone when there are no verbal sounds to indicate that they’re tracking with you (e.g., “uh-huh”). But individuals from many cultures find that kind of verbal behavior rude and distracting. Over time, you’ll gain a broadened repertoire of social skills that you can draw on for a variety of cross-cultural interactions.

 

6.   SLOW DOWN

I have two speeds: fast and faster. So this is a hard strategy for me. But I’ve learned the value of slowing down to enhance my CQ Action. A slower, more rhythmic pace allows us to deepen our insights and to simultaneously become more effective among the many individuals and cultures that aren’t nearly as concerned with efficiency and accomplishment as people like me are. Effectively adjusting our behavior is more likely to happen when we slow down.

This particularly applies to our rate of speech. You may need to practice speaking more slowly and deliberately when interacting cross-culturally. Don’t go overboard. We’re not talking about speaking really loudly and slowly to someone from another culture. That’s insulting. But when interacting with people whose dialect is different from ours or for whom our language isn’t their primary language, we need to slow down our rate of speech. It’s excruciatingly painful for me to speak slowly, particularly when I’m giving a presentation about something where I have a great deal of passion. But a simple way to enhance our CQ Action is to slow things down a bit. Not only does it enhance our effectiveness in the moment, but it also strengthens our overall CQ.

For many of us, our lives are predicated on an irrational compulsion for speed —we rush to work, we rush through meals, we multitask when we’re hanging out with friends. This might make our lives feel more streamlined, but it doesn’t make our lives happier or more fulfilling. Unless you learn to pace and savor your daily experiences (even your work commutes and your noontime meals), you’ll be cheating your days out of small moments of leisure, discovery, and joy. And a constant, frenetic pace impedes an ability to adapt accordingly in the various cultural situations we encounter.

 

7.   PUT YOURSELF IN A PLACE OF NEED

Suzanne, an American expatriate working in France, discovered the importance of how she framed a request when she’d go shopping in Paris. Suzanne was fluent in French, but that didn’t mitigate the challenges she felt in communicating. Early on during her sojourn in France, she couldn’t seem to get beyond her perception that French people disliked Americans in general. Whenever she asked for something specific of a shopkeeper, such as, “Where can I find the lipstick?” she received a curt, abrupt response. One day, a French friend suggested, “Try starting with something like this when you walk into the store: ‘Could you help me with a problem?’ And if they say ‘Yes’—which they more than likely will—then ask for help finding the lipstick.” Suzanne tried it and couldn’t believe how it seemed to change the disposition of the people waiting on her compared to her previous approach. She was now posturing herself as someone in need rather than coming in and making demands. She began to apply the same kinds of strategies with her colleagues and subordinates at work. She was amazed how this simple adjustment altered the way her requests were received.

Try to learn how to say the following in the language used in places you travel: “I’m sorry. I don’t speak _________. Do you speak English?” The primary reason for this phrase is to posture yourself as one in need, rather than one making a demand. Think about how differently this communicates than when we just march up and ask, “Does anyone here speak English?” After all, if you’re in Thailand, why should they speak English? You’re the guest. Even a small effort to demonstrate that you realize it’s your ignorance that’s putting you at a disadvantage rather than vice versa goes a long way in motivating others to help you.

Here are a few examples to get you started. There are several online tools that can help you with the pronunciation, such as http://www.forvo.com/languages.

Arabic

Ana aasaf. La atakellem al’arabiyya. Hel tatakellem alingleeziyya?

Cantonese

Um-ho-yee-see. Ngo-umsick-gong-gwong-dung-wa. Nay sick-um-sick gong yingmun.

Dutch

Ik betreur. Ik maak je geen woord Nederlands. Denkt u maar Engels spreken?

German

Es tut mir leid. Ich spreche kein Deutsch. Sprechen Sie Englisch?

French

Je, suis désolé. Je ne parle pas de français. Parlez-vous l’anglais ?

Hindi

Maaf karein. Main Hindi nahin jaanta. Kya aap Angrezi jaante hain?

Italian

Mi dispiace. Io non parlo italiano. Lei parla inglese?

Japanese

Gomen nasai. Nihongo shaberaremasen.

Ego shaberaremasuka?

Mandarin

Dui bu qi. Wo bu hui shuo Pu Tong Hua. Ni hui shuo Ying yu ma?

Portuguese

Sinto muito, mas não falo Português. Você fala Inglês

Spanish

Perdón. No hablo español. ¿Habla Usted inglés?

Worst case, even saying the phrase in English, “I’m sorry, I don’t speak _________. Do you speak English?” is much better than just blurting out, “Do you speak English?”

Simply understanding some basic shifts in language can make all the difference in achieving our objectives, whether it’s to purchase lipstick or to launch a full-orbed initiative.⁵

 

8.   JOIN A MULTICULTURAL TEAM

Many of the strategies throughout each of these chapters are better accomplished when they include the perspective of other individuals. Surrounding yourself with other people can help you think better, and it enables you to see situations differently by looking through the eyes of others. For example, it’s difficult to reframe circumstances realistically all by ourselves (a strategy from Chapter 5). But with the help of peers from various cultures, it’s easier to do so. Collaborative efforts are most beneficial when they include culturally diverse members.

When you work with people from various cultures, you begin to observe a lot of the variations that exist in speech acts—the way you communicate. Whether it be apologies, expressions of gratitude, making requests directly or indirectly, knowing how to say “no” and how to respond when someone offers to “pay the bill,” these are all things best learned through hands-on experiences in multicultural groups. Seek out experiences to work on projects that involve doing so with people from various cultures. Notice how differently each of you on a multicultural team approach conflict, make requests, apologize, compliment each other, and so on. And as you gain trust with each other, discuss some of these differences and ask questions such as, “What’s the best response when someone won’t let me pay the bill at a restaurant?” Then ask someone else. This will help you become more adaptable for a variety of cultural contexts.

Join or convene a group or team made up of individuals from a diversity of cultural backgrounds. Individuals who are part of multicultural teams are more likely to have higher CQ Action than those who are simply part of homogenous teams.⁶ Culturally diverse groups offer you the opportunity to observe the behavior of culturally different individuals in the same context.

The challenge with this strategy is that most adults gravitate toward people like them. We usually seek friends with similar tastes, beliefs, and interests. But in doing so, we miss out on so much. As you pursue relationships with individuals who see the world differently than you do, you have a profound edge in growing your CQ Action.

 

BACK AT THE OFFICE

A little effort from both Robert and Sana to adapt their behavior could make their interactions much less awkward and provide a greater degree of clarity in their communication with each other. This is difficult during any cross-cultural interaction, but it’s particularly hard over the phone, where nonverbal cues can’t be directly observed. Robert’s off-handed comment about Sana helping him add to the diversity mix at the office is primarily meant as a joke and as a way of lightening up their conversation, but humor rarely works cross-culturally, especially through telecommunication.

It’s a tricky balance because if Robert overcompensates for how he thinks he should communicate to Sana given her different cultural background, it could be insulting to her. But thinking about how his words and talkative style might impact the way Sana hears him would be advantageous for both of them.

Sana doesn’t have to use all kinds of vocalizations (“uh-huh,” “sure” “yeah”) if that’s uncomfortable for her. But she should understand that many U.S. professionals lean upon these kinds of cues to demonstrate understanding, so some way of offering feedback would enhance her communication with Robert.

In an increasingly diverse workplace, Robert should be sensitive about referring to a company gathering as a “Christmas party.” But Sana may also need to realize that he might not be intentionally trying to offend her or asking her to deny her faith simply by calling the holiday party a Christmas party. Notice that we want to see both individuals adapt some aspects of their behavior rather than assuming the responsibility is fully on one of them.

It’s risky for Robert to use such a direct approach with the Middle Eastern executives, particularly when asking whether he should be concerned about dishonesty and corruption. At face value, it appears it didn’t harm the negotiations, but only time will tell whether the company feels like the question brought shame upon them and eroded trust. A little effort to adapt our behavior will allow us to be more effective, honorable, and respectful.

 

INCREASING YOUR CQ ACTION

Cultural blunders are inevitable, and most people are pretty forgiving of someone not knowing exactly how to behave in a culture that isn’t their own. But an intentional effort to adapt and flex in ways that enhance understanding and cooperation will go a long way in helping us succeed in multicultural situations.

Identify two strategies you can begin using to enhance your CQ.

Which one will you try first? When?