Chapter 5

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Succeed in teams

‘Coming together is a beginning; keeping together is progress; working together is success.’

Henry Ford

Successful outcomes in business are dependent on our effective interactions with one another. This is as true for someone who may have delegated the entirety of the daily operations within their successful business to someone else, or someone working in their own small business alone, as it is to a manager leading a team of 30 employees, or a grass-roots employee working in a team of 50+, hoping to work his/her way up through the ranks of the organisation. Forging a close-knit team and/or building strong working alliances is crucial for our work and business successes. We simply cannot achieve success without input from others, whether that be from colleagues, mentors, managers, educators, suppliers, customers, clients or the guy who cleans the office every day.

Technological advances, screen uses and social media might be engaging and necessary at times, but they are also shown to detract significantly from our social development and skills, which are imperative to our chances of success in work and business. In this modern age, businesses have an ever increasing and pressing need to help teams work better. Bill Ford (in conversation with Jack Kornfield at Wisdom 2.0, discussing mindfulness and business) says that although technology is awesome:

‘Business is always about the people … any business is about human interactions.’

Bill Ford (See the ‘Useful resources’
section for a link to a video of this interview)

Mindfulness can help improve effective teamwork, interpersonal processes and working cultures, which all leads to greater team success. A successful team easily translates into increased bottom-line profitability for any business. So, in this chapter we will be taking a closer look at:

• Why social connection and interaction are crucial for team success.
• What qualities of interaction can be strengthened to foster greater team effectiveness.
• How to manage feedback, criticism, performance appraisals and delegation amongst a team.
• How to manage conflict well and interact successfully with distressed colleagues.

The costs of social disconnection

The most common challenge we hear about from our clients when it comes to effective teamwork is how to overcome problematic interpersonal dynamics within the team. Of particular concern is the apparent difficulty that members of a team have in actually listening to one another and communicating productively. This can be especially problematic when it comes to managers and those leading a team, who understandably set the tone for group interaction and teamwork. When members of a team are engrossed and distracted by their smartphones rather than paying good attention to one another, or caught up in other distractions in their minds, then communication suffers. It is then easy to understand how the team as a whole is unlikely to be able to establish cohesion and a sense of a group identity and shared purpose.

When team members are present in communication, however, and able to effectively manage the difficult thoughts and feelings that can get in the way of productive interactions, the team is better able to communicate effectively and it can then establish a set of shared values and a stronger sense of group identity, efficacy and purpose. With the tools for productive communication in place, the team is able to make collective group decisions on what specific and effective actions each team member needs to take for the team to reach its desired goals and targets. Furthermore, without skills to effectively manage the thoughts and feelings that get in the way of good communication, team members are more likely to feel unheard, disrespected and undervalued by one another – not the best recipe for ensuring the success of collective, group endeavours.

There are, of course, many established and effective models and strategies within the business literature that can be implemented to enhance successful teamwork, including a range of performance-management systems that we could write about here, but space is limited and we wanted to offer you something different, so we’ll leave that to the business gurus (which may even be you). In Chapter 7 of this book (‘Build a healthier business’) you will read about a set of design principles and other characteristics that may help a working group to better cooperate, succeed and thrive, but for now in this chapter we are keen to share how mindfulness can improve communication in a team to increase the likelihood of that team’s success. In our humble opinion, fundamental to the success of any team are the tools to ensure productive interaction and communication between team members; without those in place, any other strategy designed to help a team to succeed is bound to not work.

Not only are our social skills necessary for business interactions and success, but they are also fundamental to our health and well-being. We, as evolved apes, are intrinsically social beings who rely upon one another for survival from infancy to old age, physically and mentally. Social isolation was a form of death in times past and still is for our most vulnerable citizens. In fact, the absence and poor quality of social relationships has been shown to be a stronger predictor of mortality than cigarette smoking, obesity, alcoholism, physical activity and hypertension¹ and is a large factor in most mental illnesses. Multiple research findings have also shown that social isolation can be a predictor of morbidity and mortality in both cancer and cardiovascular disease as well a host of other immunological and inflammatory illnesses². We are simply not meant to go this life alone. No infant could survive without another human being, and those with low and poor human contact have been repeatedly shown to ‘fail to thrive’, falling far short of reaching normal developmental milestones or physical growth expectancies.

In terms of our mental well-being, loneliness and social isolation have been linked to:

• depression and suicide;
• increased stress levels;
• decreased memory and learning;
• antisocial behaviour;
• poor decision-making;
• alcoholism and drug abuse;
• altered brain function.

Furthermore, the (no longer ethical) psychological studies of the past, performed on rhesus monkeys who were denied social contact, were shown to produce aggressive and violent animals incapable of forming the healthy relational bonds necessary for survival and procreation.

We are not saying that you need to go and have a group hug, although don’t let us stop you (!), but more, to recognise the very centrality and meaningfulness of our social interactions, particularly when considering the potential for a thriving and successful working team and business. Spending time alone is highly valuable for us too, but this is entirely different from social withdrawal, isolation and loneliness. The clue, as always, is in the internal state that you find yourself. Recognising, yet again, the influence of your own personal perception of events, whether you are physically alone or in a group, is absolutely critical. A recent study³ from Carnegie Mellon University showed the wonderful effects that Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction (MBSR) could have on the lessening of perceived loneliness in healthy older adults aged 55–85. Mindfulness is an invaluable way of recognising and beginning to perceive our sense of aloneness, relinquishing that which keeps us (perceiving that we are) in isolation, and ultimately tuning into our very real and important need to connect and belong.

‘Too much self-centred attitude, you see, brings, you see, isolation. Result: loneliness, fear, anger. The extreme self-centred attitude is the source of suffering.’

Dalai Lama

Before embarking on any exercise of connecting with others, it is fundamental to first contact and develop the sense of connection you have with yourself. Most of us do spend our days disembodied, dissociated and out of touch with reality (i.e. the present moment) to a greater or lesser extent. Just think about how often you may have:

• Travelled to or from work, or maybe on a business trip of some kind, with no recollection of what has happened for all or part of the journey?
• Listened to a colleague talking and then realised you have heard nothing that has been said?
• Walked into a room, maybe to see a colleague and forgotten why?
• Found yourself lost in a daydream, feeling a sense of isolation/aloneness even though you are sat in a room/office/train carriage full of other people?
• Been introduced to someone at a work do and then two seconds later completely forgotten their name?
• Forgotten dates/times? (Oops! Weren’t you supposed to sign in to that conference call right now?)
• Had trouble recalling an article you have just read? (Go on, back to the start of this chapter, please!)

Don’t worry, you’re not alone. We all do this. So begin by recognising that your doolalliness is a shared human experience – and you belong here with us. Now you might like to try the following exercise to reconnect with yourself:

Exercise 5.1: Mindful on the job

Here I am, connected

This is a very simple practice to help you remember yourself in your rush about your working day. You can do this walking about, sitting at your desk or in a meeting. It need only take a couple of minutes (or fewer!), but of course, you are welcome to take longer if you wish. Try this as often as you like, especially at times when you feel disconnected from your team or colleagues.

1. Notice your Self. Do this by becoming aware of your body. Here you are, here is your body. Just this.
2. This very body is here because of your connection to others, through genetics, nurturing, loving touch and more. This body would not be possible without that connection. Sense that with your body.
3. This awareness may bring sadness, animosity, wonder or nothing much. Simply notice, be present with whatever arises. Bring yourself into close contact with your experience, just as it is right now.
4. Here you are. Welcome.
5. Notice your Self. Do this by becoming aware of a breath. Here you are, here is your breath. Just this.
6. This very breath is here because of your connection to others, through the cycle of oxygen, planting and care of trees and plants, medical advances in health care and more. This breath would not be possible without that connection. Breathe that in.
7. This awareness may bring joy, dismissal, ease or nothing much. Bring yourself into close contact with your experience, just as it is right now.
8. Here you are. Welcome.
9. Notice your Self. Do this by noticing what you see. Look around you; take in the sights, objects, people, and surroundings. Just this one panorama as it is right now.
10. These sights are there for you to view due to your connection to others. None of this would be there if it weren’t for this interconnectedness; gaze upon what you see, notice your sense of sight.
11. This awareness may bring relief, closeness, anxiety, anger or nothing much. Be present with whatever arises. Bring yourself into close contact with your experience; see it, just as it is right now.
12. Here you are, connected. Welcome.

Communication breakthrough

If we want to create a healthy, sustainable business, we need to pay great attention to our business community, our shared goals and shared humanity. Beginning with ourselves, using practices in mindfulness, such as the one above, we not only can begin to find room for our own human nature, but we also become increasingly aware of our communication with others and how this connects or separates us from them. Deeply fragmented teams with poor communication demonstrate unhealthy working dynamics and function ineffectually. So the skilfulness of our communication within a team is critical for the ongoing well-being and success of our business.

This may sound obvious but it’s worth recognising how any modern place of work, whether a large or small business, will rely on effective teamwork, collaboration and client/customer interaction in order to succeed. But even if you aren’t too fussed about the overall success of your organisation, it would seem that brushing up on your own communication skills is still of vital importance to help you get ahead in your own work and career. The good news is that in doing so, your team and company will benefit anyway.

‘Not only will better recognition and promotion of soft skills benefit the UK economy, it will also make a significant difference to the businesses, careers and lives of young people.’

James Caan, entrepreneur and venture capitalist (Please see the ‘Useful resources’ section for full article)

Yes, in order to get ahead at work it seems that being intelligent, ambitious and technically competent is not all that counts; you also need to be pretty savvy when it comes to social skills. In a study carried out by the global management consultancy firm, Hay Group, involving 450 HR Directors and 450 graduates based in India, the USA and China, it was found that, of business leaders and HR Directors surveyed:

• 85 per cent believed that emotional and social skills, over and above technical skills, are what sets new hires apart and are the real differentiator to future business success;
• 90 per cent consider that employees with strong people skills are better able to deliver significant commercial impact;
• 91 per cent believed that employees with enhanced people skills tend to advance faster in their careers.

(For more on this study, please visit: http://web.haygroup.com/worth-their-weight-in-gold)

Although a strong intellect and relevant technical skills and experience may help someone to secure a job, they are not enough to help someone keep their job or even excel in their career thereafter. Maybe you can think of someone who has lost their job (that may even be you), and consider for a moment the main reason/s why they were fired – you may find that more often than not it is for a lack of good teamwork and/or a solid set of adaptable social skills rather than for any technical incompetency. Yes, ‘soft skills’ really do matter. They are necessary to form and maintain healthy and productive relationships at work and they are essential to help you get ahead in your career. More so, however, these skills soon translate into bottom-line profitability for the team and the organisation as a whole and the fact is that they make good sense for business. A recent research campaign in the UK led by McDonald’s and backed by other organisations including the CBI, Barclays and learndirect, as well as the UK-based entrepreneur James Caan, found that these sorts of soft skills, including communication and teamwork (amongst others), contribute a staggering £88 billion to the UK economy, and this figure is predicted to increase to £109 billion over the next five years as organisational structures continue to evolve and globalisation speeds up.

The good news is that mindfulness can help any one of us to develop and strengthen these ‘soft people skills’ while on the job and specifically to enhance our capacity to:

• collaborate and work well as part of a team;
• interact smoothly with other people (including colleagues, clients from different groups/cultures);
• regulate behaviour/knee-jerk responses and think and reason clearly under pressure;
• communicate, listen and empathise in a lucid and compelling manner.

Sure, we can measure team success through the analysis of company metrics, but in order to improve this success we need to attend to the components that make this possible – our colleagues, clients, customers and ourselves. In fact, we need to attend to our colleagues, clients, customers and ourselves with great care. This is often a very challenging area, however, because most of us have very little knowledge about team dynamics, very little time to analyse them in any depth and a dearth of skills in how to manage them well. Furthermore, and sadly, while many of us are taught from earlier and earlier ages to use technology such as tablets, televisions and smartphones, we still have very poor education on how to actually communicate well with each other. This becomes particularly challenging when we find ourselves faced with ‘difficult’ clients, sensitive colleagues and awkward personalities that we simply must win over, give critical feedback to or simply get on with in order to get the job done well. Rather than being passive and hoping a problem will go away or resolve all by itself, or, alternatively, being bullish and inconsiderate, we need to find an effective means of breaking through our communication barriers. We can all benefit from enhancing these skills. As psychologists we make a lifetime practice of it, and still have plenty to learn! By developing skilful, empathic and insightful communication, work can become a pleasant, enriching and productive place – and mindfulness is one of the most profound and accessible tools for achieving this.

There are many ways of communicating without words – art, body posture, facial expression, eye contact, touch, dress, music, physical proximity, to name but a few – but by far the most common method of communication is verbal communication. The complexities and intricacies of the spoken or written word in human interactions are perhaps what most sets us apart (as far as we currently know) from other animal species.

While these amazing talents in all their myriad manifestations are so central to our ability to connect to our fellow earthlings, they are also central to endless misunderstandings … and mishaps.

We will now turn our focus on how to use our mindfulness skills to improve our verbal comoonikashun.

The gossip mill

In all honesty, how often do you find staff (including yourself) gossiping, replaying the ‘if only’ conversations you never had, wishing so-and-so wasn’t so f***ing difficult to work with or that such-and-such would just get on with their job properly and stop slacking off?

Vivian Scott, author of Conflict Resolution at Work for Dummies, says that employees spend about three hours per week dealing with conflicts. Employees are engaged in gossip, ignoring work, and even sabotaging as a means of resolving everyday conflicts. ‘These all lead to a hefty loss for companies,’ Scott says. And profit is not the only loss; staff morale is severely damaged by passive means of expressing discord (such as gossiping rather than directly speaking with the individual(s) concerned); conflicts are often also escalated, mishandled or suppressed and an environment of hostility, oppression and insecurity ensues, adding to the already high stress and pressure of the workplace and leading to high job dissatisfaction.

In their survey of 800 managers and employees working across 17 different industries, Christine Porath and Christine Pearson (you can find a link to their article first published in the Harvard Business Review in 2013 in the ‘Useful resources’ section at the end of this chapter) learned that there is a huge bottom-line cost to businesses that can arise from rudeness (including many forms of incivility: say, gossiping) amongst workplace teams. They found that among workers who had been on the receiving end of incivility:

• 48 per cent intentionally reduced their work effort;
• 47 per cent intentionally decreased their time spent at work;
• 38 per cent intentionally decreased the quality of their work;
• 80 per cent lost work time worrying about the incident;
• 63 per cent lost work time avoiding the offender;
• 66 per cent said that their performance declined;
• 78 per cent said that their commitment to the organisation declined;
• 12 per cent said that they left their job because of the uncivil treatment;
• 25 per cent admitted to taking their frustration out on customers.

(Porath and Pearson, 2013, p. 96)

Further findings from a study, reported in Fortune, highlighted how managers and executives working at Fortune 1000 firms spend an average of 13 per cent of their time at work (the equivalent of seven weeks per year) trying to resolve and settle conflicts at work. Yes, the costs of an unchecked gossipy and hostile work environment are severe. However, the flip side is that having a good gossip can help us feel part of a group, united in a common cause (or enemy); we can feel included and less bored with the daily grind.

And, no, gentlemen! Don’t dismiss this all as a women’s thing! Recent research has found that men spend an average 76 minutes a day nattering with their friends or work colleagues, compared to just 52 minutes for women. The poll of 5,000 people, conducted by a global research company, found that men prefer to do this gossiping in the office (rather than at home, like the ladies). The Telegraph, reporting on the study, adds:

‘A spokesman for Onepoll said: ‘It is commonly believed that women are the ones who love to spread rumours, and gossip about their friends behind their backs. But this poll proves that men aren’t as bad as women, they’re worse! Men just love a bit of scandal, and will do anything they can to be centre of attention with their colleagues and peers. At the end of the day, hot gossip spices up what would otherwise be another boring day at the office.’

Retrieved from: www.thetelegraph.co.uk (See ‘Useful resources’)

Spicing things up is all well and good until that turns into behaviours and consequences that start to hurt ourselves or others, whether intentional or unintentional. If you have ever been caught out or been on the receiving end of spreading rumours, you will no doubt still feel this sharply. It isn’t pretty. There is a delicate balance between friendly banter and something with a more sinister edge that actually hurts and undermines your colleagues and your team as a whole.

Interestingly, it would seem that social exclusion does actually really hurt and our experience of emotional pain arising from perceived rejection at work can be similar in many ways to our experience of actual physical pain. MRI scans of our brain show us that rejection triggers the same brain pathways that are activated when we experience physical pain. In fact in one study⁴ the researchers found that the posterior insular cortex of the brain was activated during a social exclusion experiment (participants being excluded from a simulated game of catch), just as it was during physical pain experiments (administration of a mildly painful stimulus – ouch!). The posterior insular cortex is ‘traditionally associated with the sensory processing of physical pain,’ concludes one of the researchers. This study also found that the same part of the brain was activated in participants that witnessed the experience of pain in another participant, which highlights our natural tendency to empathise with one another and how our emotional experiences at work can be somewhat ‘contagious.’

Communication outbreak

One way to consider the effect of your communication on your team is to understand the phenomenon of ‘emotional contagion’ a little more. Our emotional state at work has a measureable ‘ripple effect’ on our team, with leaders naturally being most influential because of their hierarchical position – most of us watch and take our emotional cues from the big cheese, don’t we? But whether you’re a team leader or not, it would seem that the old adage, ‘smile and the whole world smiles with you’, may hold some weight at work, and acting on this may really benefit the performance of your team (and the good news is that someone can notice your smile from 100 metres away, apparently). Smiling stimulates our brain’s reward mechanisms in a way that even chocolate, a well-regarded pleasure-inducer, cannot match. In a study conducted in the UK (using an electromagnetic brain scan machine and heart-rate monitor to create ‘mood-boosting values’ for various stimuli), British researchers found that one smile can provide the same level of brain stimulation as up to 2,000 chocolate bars; they also found that smiling can be as stimulating as receiving up to 16,000 Pounds Sterling in cash! (Lewis, 2013).

Vanessa Druskat, who studies teams and productivity at the University of New Hampshire, found in many different studies that the most highly productive teams have the greatest harmony and positivity (see ‘Useful resources’). When team members like one another and the team has fun and enjoys activities together, work becomes more pleasurable and people are not only more dedicated, but also less stressed and happier. In addition, a happy workplace makes disputes easier to resolve because of a general culture of respect and care, in which communication can be more honest and solutions-oriented (i.e. there is a genuine desire to resolve conflict and maintain harmony). Of course, all of this continues to foster a productive and healthy team which functions at its optimum. The good news here is that cheerfulness and positivity are easy to spread (more so than other emotions) which may be to do with the way our brains are hardwired. Scientists postulate that in times long, long ago, smiles and laughter helped to cement alliances and were therefore crucial forms of communication, aiding the survival of our species (maybe you’ve also noticed that when you see someone else smile, it’s really difficult not to smile too!). Now we are not suggesting that you slap on a fake smile and do ten laps of the office each morning while grinning like the Cheshire cat (that wouldn’t work and is bound to backfire). No, your cheeriness needs to be genuine and relevant. But all this does have implications for self-awareness and self-regulation (mindfulness) of our moods and emotions and also how we communicate these with one another at work.

Mindfulness of our communication and interactions (speech and listening) with our colleagues is essential for the nurturing of strong and healthy team dynamics, giving rise to greater team performance and success. As we rush about anxiously through most working days, we understandably have, and therefore give, little time and attention to our communication and relationships with one another. As we have already mentioned, the quality of our relationships and interactions at work can impact on our sense of well-being (which we will come back to again later on), which can in turn affect our performance on the job. So taking the time to attend to your interactions with your colleagues can have positive outcomes for all and the team as a whole. Think about it: when you bump into a colleague (say, in the elevator travelling down to the ground floor) are you really present, attending to the interaction and listening well? Although when two people are speaking we tend to assume that one is speaking while the other is carefully listening, in all honesty the reality is that while one is speaking the other (and this may sound a bit like you at times) is actually just waiting to speak themselves. Being fully present in your communications by noticing your thoughts and feelings as they arise and really focusing on listening and the bodily cues and non-verbal behaviour of others can really improve the quality of your interactions at work.

So, in the spirit of enhancing our communications and supporting our own mindfulness practice in the process, the following exercise will help you develop awareness of speech, listening and interaction with your colleagues, for success as a team. Try this exercise regularly and as often as you can.

Exercise 5.2: Mindful on the job

Hello, and how are you? (mindful speech and listening)

Try the following exercise in a variety of interactions. You may wish to start with something pretty simple, like the example used here, but with practice this can be used just as well with more complex interactions. Here are a few points to consider first off:

• Start with someone you find relatively easy to get on with, and as your confidence grows you can start to move on to more challenging individuals!
• The key is to introduce more pauses within the dialogue, to give yourself just a little more space within an interaction to be present and to reflect. This way you can notice what others are actually saying to you. Mindful pauses will also help you to notice what you really think and feel, and what would be the most appropriate response, rather than just saying whatever pops into your head straight away and cutting your colleague off mid sentence! When you feel relatively comfortable with someone, this will be easier to do.
• Notice any distractions (i.e. sounds, sights around you, thoughts about what you should say, what else might be going on in your work/life that isn’t in this moment) that pull your attention away and then bring your attention back to the conversation you are having right here and right now.
• Be aware that if you speak with good eye contact, a little more slowly than usual and in a calm tone, this will help to infuse the dialogue with ease and reduce the office stress levels (but you don’t need to go all breathy and mystical here; keep it natural and honest).
• Although this exercise might feel a little odd and silly at first, remember it is likely to have a positive impact on your interactions and relationships with your teammates. Each of us likes to feel valued, and taking time to listen, respond and connect with a colleague in this way can have a dramatic effect on how appreciated they feel, which quickly translates into more camaraderie and team productivity:

1. Pick a person to greet with a ‘Hello, X.’
2. As you speak, notice your body posture and eye contact.
3. Notice, too, if that person responds and how (smile, snub, surprise, etc.).
4. Feel your feet on the floor and notice a general sense of your body; this will help you stay present and connected.
5. Ask X: ‘How are you today?’ Notice your tone, gestures or posture as you speak.
6. They may well respond with the usual ‘I’m OK, how are you?’
7. Pay good attention to their answer; see if you can attune to them/their mood in this moment.
8. Take a (mindful) breath and notice it. This way you can be fully present.
9. Notice any impulsive urges to interrupt before they finish responding.
10. Notice too any thoughts, judgements or opinions in your mind and let them pass by.
11. Pause before you answer to give a considered response; know if you are being honest, giving a rote answer or trying something different.
12. Give your response, and know that this is as authentic as you can be right now (even if it is reactive, automatic or a plain lie).
13. You may now wish to smile and continue on, or to carry on your dialogue, but keep checking in with yourself periodically, observing your mood, body and breath.
14. Also periodically check in to notice how your colleague finds you/how your speech lands with them. You may even like to ask them how they are finding the conversation, i.e. ‘What is it like for you having this chat with me right now?’ ‘What are you thinking, feeling about what we are saying/doing right now?’

Over time, using this practice with some careful observation and reflection, you may come to notice all sorts of qualities to your interactions which may have been previously unnoticed. You are now empowered to consciously shape these interactions with your intentions (such as harmony, clarity, care, compassion, etc.).

Exercises like the one above should not be underestimated and should ideally be practised regularly. Then, when we do find ourselves forced into an awkward moment of communication (maybe with one of those uncomfortable silences), we may find that we don’t feel so deskilled and uncertain about how to react or what to say. Instead we may find that each moment of interaction is an opportunity to connect in a meaningful way. Taking a genuine interest in the people around you at work will pay great dividends in terms of your team’s productivity and overall effectiveness.

Team Success = Care = Mindfulness

Okay, it’s time to hit some more research to help you understand just how much the impact of giving a sh*t about your colleagues really makes good sense for you and your team.

Taking care with our co-workers makes our working lives more pleasant and enjoyable but it is also great for business. Cultivating a more caring environment leads to improved health benefits, greater loyalty and increased productivity. And the great news is that mindfulness and care are synonymous.

This is because skilled mindful attention IS caring (towards ourselves and others), simply by its nature (read here: open, accepting, non-judgemental and compassionate). Mindfulness increases our ability to be present, to have and give good attention and therefore to find calm, clarity and focus, and we also begin to gain insight into the impact of our choices, our emotions and our shared humanity. Care for self and others, cultivated through mindfulness practice, is necessary for community-building and is an inherent aspect of basic survival. As such, simply being in a harmonious (and mindfulness-practising) community relieves stress, as we are more secure and confident even on a most primal level.

The compassionate way to team success

We have already seen how self-criticism negatively impacts our own level of self-confidence (revisit Chapter 3 to refresh yourself on this if you wish) and resultant performance, and talking to our colleagues with the same harsh criticism can have exactly the same detrimental effects for them. Compassion is a strong driving force for team and business success, as the research above indicates (more on this in Chapter 7). So how can we develop more compassion at work and exactly what does being more compassionate look and sound like?

Well, as compassion is fundamentally concerned with alleviating suffering (for ourselves and others), our responses to our colleagues’ mistakes, errors and inevitable human limitations naturally become more nurturing and motivating, which in turn is more likely to help them improve and grow (whereas a harsh critical response might do the exact opposite) and our teams flourish. Let’s take a quick look at all this in action with the following example.

Just imagine that one of your teammates, let’s call him ‘Scott’, failed to deliver the project he promised to you on time. Let’s say you responded to this failure by saying something along the lines of: ‘You’re totally incompetent, what a loser! You’ve f***ed up big time, on this one! Every-one is going to suffer because of you! If you think you are going to make it here or in any company you are deluded!’ Now, what do you reckon? Is this response (or something equally harsh and critical) really going to help motivate Scott? Nope, you guessed it, probably not. In fact he will probably experience a huge dent to his confidence and feel depressed and anxious as a consequence and his performance will suffer. He might never want to take the lead on that or any other similar project ever again. He’ll no doubt be petrified about losing his job and ever being able to find another. So what difference, if any, would a more understanding, kinder and supportive approach have for Scott? Maybe something like: ‘I know you’re disappointed. I know how important this project was to you; you probably tried your best to get it to me on time. There seems to be a time-management issue here that I’m sure we can resolve together. How about we take a look at that next Monday over a coffee?’ Taking this more compassionate approach is probably going to help Scott manage the strong feelings of failure, disappointment, frustration and anxiety he might have, which will clear the way to helping him gather up the confidence and motivation to try to manage his time better on the next project. Surely, your objective in this scenario would be to maximise rather than undermine the confidence in the dynamic with Scott and promote the motivation that Scott needs to succeed at his job, to bring about greater teamwork and success. What do you reckon?

So next time, before you respond with a knee-jerk reaction to someone in your team, try to first stop and think about what impact your words might have. Consider:

• how you might feel if someone were to say those words to you;
• how your behaviour would be affected if someone talked that way to you.

‘When you are offended at a man’s fault, turn to yourself and study your own failings. Then you will forget your anger.’

Epictetus

To increase your chances of responding to a colleague with more compassion (rather than performance-hindering anger and criticism), try to follow the steps below (as outlined in our acronym here) and remember to remain as WARM as you can be:

Wait a moment (or more!) before you respond, to take a mindful breath (or two!). Instead of responding impulsively, take a step back (which may even look like explaining that you need some time to think). Breathe mindfully, observe your thoughts and feelings, letting them come and go as they naturally will – this practice of self-awareness via mindful attention will help you to regain some control over your emotions and any impulsive, knee-jerk response.

Accept that mistakes happen and that your colleague is only human with limitations, after all. Nobody is perfect.

Relate to your colleague and empathise with them: ‘put yourself in their shoes’; after all, you too are human and can make mistakes. Bring to mind a time when you have made your own or, better still, very similar mistakes. Empathising in this way will help you to forgive, which will help you to regulate your emotions and feel less stressed too (remember the wise words of Epictetus, above).

Mirror what you understand and what you have heard/seen/imagined (i.e. you can’t mind-read or assume you know how they feel/think) about their predicament/position – so when you feel ready (less angry), respond with something like, ‘I can see/hear/imagine that you are upset/disappointed, etc.’. You can then both think of a way to move on from the problem together.

In Chapter 1 we mentioned how Compassion Cultivation Training (CCT) programmes developed at Stanford University’s Center for Compassion and Altruism Research and Education have become of interest within corporate organisations. This is no surprise when we consider some of the research around the impact that a more compassionate workforce can have on team cohesion, productivity and business success. In their aim of bringing compassion training to the workplace, Dan Martin and Yotam Heineberg have designed a program which they call Compassion Development Dyads (CDD) (based on the excellent work of the leading expert in the field and founder of Compassion Focused Therapy, Professor Paul Gilbert OBE, from the University of Derby, UK) and they are hopeful that their CDD will help to revolutionise the workplace (you can read more about their work in Suttie’s article, (see the ‘Useful resources’ section at the end of this chapter). Essentially a CDD involves two employees meeting online via videoconference for an hour a week for eight weeks to have structured discussions on relevant research-based topics relating to personal and social well-being, such as mindfulness. The process helps workers to become aware of how they typically respond to stress and threat in work situations, and then trains them to respond in more appropriate ways using tools like self-management of feelings, empathic listening, and compassionate responses. To date, there are some promising results from this programme which has been tested in a pilot study, including a sample of business students. The researchers found that participants increased their compassion for others, their subjective happiness, and their leadership skills, among many other benefits.

This is all very promising stuff, as the more we demonstrate compassion within our teams at work, the more we move away from shame and fear and instead closer to empathy and connection. With more compassionate responses we start to cultivate a culture of trust within our teams and from this trust comes increased team performance. It is easy to see how a kinder and more positive work atmosphere will engender a safer environment within which to work, and in turn people’s willingness is freed up, giving rise to greater creativity and overall improved performance. In bringing compassion and kindness (as trained via mindfulness practice) to our interactions with one another at work, we can help to strengthen team bonds and enhance team productivity and effectiveness.

Dealing with psychologically vulnerable colleagues

The success of our team also depends on the emotional support that we can offer one another at times of high distress. Sometimes we need to console a colleague in their time of need, or at other times we ourselves could do with a solid and caring ‘shoulder to cry on.’ In the demanding, cut-throat culture in which many of us work, it is likely that you have experienced a colleague feeling stressed or much worse, at some time or another. You may even have a specific ‘people-supporting’ role at work; maybe you work in HR or are a manager and can often feel stuck about what to say and how to say it when someone approaches you in distress, which is completely understandable. These moments can feel very scary indeed, particularly when we can’t find the right words to use. We can feel deskilled, and in our hope to not exacerbate the situation we can cut these conversations short or, worse still, ignore this colleague altogether, even though they’re sitting at their desk clearly distraught, in floods of tears. Either of these responses is likely to aggravate the situation and upset your colleague even more, as they may feel increasingly alone, shunned and ostracised by your apparent lack of warmth (although, of course, this was not your intention). We are not here to increase your anxiety in these tricky situations but we do want to remind you that how we talk and respond to our colleagues in distress does make a large difference – what we say and do as well as what we don’t say and don’t do can be helpful or unhelpful. Also, very subtle differences in how we say something can have a huge impact and make all the difference to how someone is feeling.

Language can be the problem as well as the solution

‘Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.’

Unknown

By its very nature, work is an understandably highly goal-oriented environment and within this context our brains are continuously trained to jump to solutions for each and any problem we may encounter. Couple this with our hardwired motivation to control, eliminate and avoid pain and discomfort (more on this to come in Chapter 6 and also please revisit Chapter 2 for a reminder on the function of our problem-solving mind as a tool for survival), and it is likely that we will try to help a distressed colleague by attempting to problem-solve their emotions away. Yes, this is the approach which we usually and habitually adopt in response to our distressed colleagues, but please note this is not always the best approach as it can shut the communication down and your colleague can be left feeling hurt, rejected and invalidated. Remember that emotions are not a problem to solve but they are a condition of life (if you could just push horrible feelings aside, don’t you think your colleague would have done that already?). It is not easy to move out of this autopilot mode because, as we know, it is an innate human impulse to problem-solve, fix and therefore reassure in highly emotional and ‘problematic’ situations such as these. Instead of this, though, we can help our colleagues to trust and open up more. We can do this via mindful speech and listening (please remind yourself of Exercise 5.2 above) and try also to include more YESes and fewer NOs or BUTs in our responses to our distressed teammates.

With more mindful attention, we can notice the dramatic difference that an intentionally (but invalidating!) supportive response such as:

‘There is no need to feel that way’

might have, compared to a more accepting response such as:

‘It’s normal to feel that way.’

What do you think the difference might be, in the way that these two slightly different responses are experienced by your colleague? Have a think, right now, before you read on.

Exercise 5.3: Work in progress

Yeah but, no but, yeah but …

Try to think of how you might respond to the following five statements from a distressed colleague. Consider your response for each one, one at a time. You are not allowed to use the words ‘No’ or ‘But’ (or any variations of these that attempt to problem-solve their situation or convince them otherwise, such as the words ‘not’, ‘yeah but’, ‘although’, etc.). If you use one of these ‘forbidden’ words or sentiments in your response, start again. See if you can notice the natural impulses of your mind to try to problem-solve the situation for your colleague and how the mind may automatically go to ‘NO’ and ‘BUT’ when trying to respond:

1. ‘I’ve had enough, I just can’t cope with all this work. I should just resign from my job right now, today, shouldn’t I?’
2. ‘She’s right, I can’t do anything well, can I? I’ve let the whole team down!’
3. ‘No one gets how much I have to do. You don’t understand either, do you? You’re just here because it’s your job to offer support. You don’t really care!’
4. ‘I bet you think I’m a total loser also, just like everyone else in the team, don’t you?’
5. ‘I’ve had it up to here. I failed again. I have nothing left to live for. I just want to jump out of that window!’

So how did you do? Easy? It’s pretty difficult isn’t? This is because our minds are so well conditioned to avoid discomfort and to try to resolve any problems. However, the real problem is that when we try to solve emotions as if they were problems, it usually just backfires and exacerbates these unwanted feelings (both we and our colleagues can feel more upset and stuck) and we can get caught in a circular communication trap (or, worse still, an argument)! So, instead, consider how we can bring mindfulness to our interactions, and in doing so embody a more open and accepting response to our distressed colleagues.

Below we have summarised three aspects to a more helpful response to a colleague in distress. These refer to preferred and more helpful ways of being, which you would do well to embody when interacting with a colleague who is upset. They are:

1. Be simple: be a sounding board and offer signposting (depending on your role. Don’t complicate things, no solutions, problem-solving, reassurance, judging, analysing).
2. Be present: direct exquisite, focused attention on the here and now (track your thoughts, sensations, emotions, and sights, sounds, urges and impulses – notice judgements and let them drop away, rise and fall. Pay attention to what you see/hear, your colleague’s body, expressions, response to you).
3. Be compassionate: offer acceptance and validation of their experience; be kind (be aware of appearing judgemental, dismissive, minimalising, or patronising through unhelpful reassurance). To prime your brain for compassion, bring to mind the feeling of being with someone who loves you, while calling up heartfelt emotions such as gratitude or fondness. Bring empathy to the difficulties of the other person. Opening to their suffering, let sympathy and goodwill naturally arise. In your mind, offer explicit and genuine wishes such as ‘May you not suffer. May you find rest. May it go well with the doctor/your colleague/manager/client etc.’ Show empathy by trying to understand how your colleague might feel, via curiosity and openness. Bring acceptance of what is – remember that what you experience is not universal – acknowledge, make room for your colleague’s experience, accept their feelings and own your own experience. Don’t just SAY you accept – TRULY accept (be accepting).

What to say, specifically

As we’ve begun to highlight, at the heart of effective communication is mindful attention, which includes the ability to remain aware and to regulate your own emotions and knee-jerk impulsive responses. Mindfulness allows us to truly and actively listen to our colleagues (to ensure that they feel heard, understood and validated) in an accepting way and to reply with the most considered and helpful response in a compassionate way. We have included a few of our top tips and ideas for specific responses (that might help you out in a tricky situation) below:

General pointers:

• Listen carefully (remember, listening is not just being silent while you’re actually waiting to speak!) to what your teammate is saying to you and repeat what they have said back to them to ensure you have understood it. Show that you are listening: stop what you are doing (phone down!), paraphrase and clarify your understanding.
• You don’t have to agree with what your colleague is saying. But by showing you understand and accept how they feel, you are letting them know that you respect their feelings – this way they will then open up to you more and trust will build.
• Use appropriate body language. Help the person feel comfortable. To show you are listening, try to maintain eye contact and sit in an open position.
• Don’t diagnose or tell them to not worry, snap out of it, pull themselves together, get over it, keep busy.

Active listening/validating:

Non-verbal

• Nodding head, meaningful eye contact, silences, physical contact.

Verbal

• ‘I understand’, ‘I see’; with more ‘Yes’ rather than ‘No’, ‘yeah but’!
• ‘I can hear you sighing. Is everything OK? Do you want to talk about it?’
• ’I can see that it makes you very unhappy when … ’
• ‘I understand how you would feel that way’ (remember: you don’t have to agree).
• ‘If I understand you correctly, you feel (X) when (Y). Did I hear you correctly?’
• ‘Can you tell me more about how you feel in this situation?’
• ‘I can see/understand how difficult that must be – it makes sense to me as your colleague/another human being.’
• ‘I can imagine and see just how painful this is for you.’
• ‘I feel touched/moved/upset by what you are saying.’
• ‘I know how vulnerable it may feel to do and say what you just did and I want you to know that you are safe with me and what you said is sacred.’

Moving the conversation on:

• ‘What are you afraid will happen if this situation continues?’
• ‘What do you think the options are in this situation? What do you think you should do?’
• ‘What do you need right now to make this situation work for you?’
• ‘How do you see my role in this situation?’
• ‘I would like to suggest how you might consider helping yourself with this difficult situation; would that be OK?’
• ‘I would feel privileged to help you with this in the best way I know how.’
• ‘Would you be willing to … ?’

We hope that the above tips and pointers will be of use to you. If you take your time to use them, along with the practice of ‘mindfulness of listening and speech’ (as described in Exercise 5.2 above), you may find that even in the most emotionally charged interaction, you can still help your distressed colleague along while also strengthening a sense of trust and camaraderie for the sake of greater team cohesion and effectiveness. If you’d like some more tips on how you might interact with a distressed colleague, check out the relevant Harvard Business Review article, listed in the ‘Useful resources’ section at the end of this chapter.

So far we have covered ways that may help you manage challenging interactions with distressed colleagues as and when they arise. However, to really make a difference to the overall well-being of your teammates and team as a whole, we advise that you practise mindful interactions regularly, not just reactively when you see a colleague is upset. You may also want to introduce regular one-to-one meetings with colleagues or even small group meetings where you can check in with one another about how you are each feeling, and discuss any concerns you may have. It is important to leave any discussion about work projects, objectives or to-do lists outside of these conversations and instead preserve them as an open forum to support one another with general concerns, feelings of stress and issues of work–life balance. If you are not a manager or leader yourself, then you might also like to invite them on board with this too. If managers and senior leaders are able to model this supportive communication culture, then in our experience it is more likely to take effect as, in doing so, they will reinforce the message that it ‘really is OK to talk.’ By sending a supportive message from the top, senior leaders and managers can really help promote a culture of acceptance around mental health within a team and/or the wider organisation. In our own work we have been lucky enough to witness this first-hand while assisting in the development and implementation of ‘mental health champion’ programmes and other similar initiatives within companies. These programmes have involved training a number of employees and team members, including senior people, in mindfulness and mindful communication skills (among other competencies), so that they can effectively serve others who may be experiencing mental health conditions by offering them informal support and guidance. When implemented in this way, mindfulness can seep into the very culture of any organisation, helping the company to transform (in a good way). Stress no longer is viewed only as a ‘personal problem’ that an individual employee must cope with alone, but as a wider concern which everyone can help to prevent and manage at an organisational and cultural level (more on this in Chapter 7).

When things get heated

Of course, there are times when we are all challenged, either by the office bully (which may even be you), a conflict of interests, or a personality clash. We might be faced with having to give or receive difficult feedback, make redundancies or deciding to take a stand about an injustice. There are many other times when many of us feel uncomfortable, out of our depth or overly emotional. When we are faced with the stress of being unable to communicate effectively (or at all) with someone at work, especially someone who has a significant impact on our job and experience at work, we can be left feeling angry and disempowered. It might not matter how careful or considerate you have been, how much you have planned and rehearsed a conversation and taken care to word yourself well, if you are met with a brick wall. Take Matthew’s predicament, for example.

In highly tense interactions like those between Matthew and his manager described above, the common misperception is that having a sound, logical and clear argument will win you over – it certainly will help – but it is not enough alone. It is equally important to notice the unspoken dynamics of the relationship and to pay particular attention to defensiveness and reactivity. The same skills outlined in the exercises above for pausing and centring attention on the breath and body are once again invaluable. This balance of attention is sometimes referred to as a golden balance of 80/20 per cent attention: that is, 80 per cent attention on yourself (your body sensations, breath, emotions, thoughts, behaviours, etc.) and 20 per cent attention on the other person. Of course this is strictly speaking absolutely subjective and unquantifiable; however, the balance is strongly in your favour. You can then stay embodied, centred, present, focused and caring towards yourself, while sustaining enough attention to be engaged and receptive to another. It is also useful for containing enough balance to be emotionally resilient (see Chapter 6 for more on this) and to keep the perspective necessary to recognise when we are being reactionary, defensive and/or simply making the situation worse in some way.

Along with practising mindfulness while interacting with his manager, Matthew also found that spending time to practise mindfulness outside of these interactions was also tremendously helpful to regulate and manage his rising anger and frustration. He would spend 10 minutes or so running through the following exercise when he felt tension arise in his body and just before going into any meeting with his manager and/or HR around the issue. This way he was able to ensure that he stayed aware of his emotions and regulated them – and also any reactive, knee-jerk responses – as best he could. You might also like to try this exercise when emotions are running high for you at work. Along with anger, it can be equally effective for the whole range of intense feelings you might experience on the job, such as anxiety and/or sadness. So why not give it a go to protect and care for your relationships with teammates, the best you can.

Exercise 5.4: Mindful on the job

Taming the mind

• Firstly find a place to sit down, where you won’t be disturbed for ten minutes or so.
• Before you begin, you might like to close your eyes to limit distraction, or simply rest your gaze on a still spot or object in front of you and droop your eyelids.

1. To begin, first gently push your feet into the floor a couple of times; then as you let them come to rest, notice the sensations in your feet.
2. If you are sitting down, now also notice the sensations in your body where your body makes contact with the seat that you are sitting on.
3. Take a few mindful breaths. Notice the sensations of air flowing into your body tracking the air flowing down into your lungs, filling your lungs. Track the out-breath as your lungs empty and the breath flows out of your nostrils/mouth. Practise centring yourself in this way for at least two minutes.
4. Once you have become aware of yourself, right here and right now, begin to scan your body for any sensations of stress or discomfort you may feel.
5. See if you can locate a specific sensation in your body where you feel your stress the strongest; maybe there is discomfort in your stomach, tightness in your chest, tension in your head or shoulders, or some other place.
6. Hold this sensation at the forefront of your awareness, right now.
7. Notice any struggle that you may have with this sensation, any urges to push it away, or to stop the exercise or any thoughts about not wanting it there or how others have caused you this upset. Leave these urges and thoughts alone, you don’t have to follow them; you don’t have to problem-solve or struggle with this particular unwanted experience. Leave it be, just there, just as it is.
8. Return to noticing this sensation in your body as best you can; you don’t have to like it, just notice it, just as it is, just now.
9. Now, with the utmost curiosity, begin to explore this sensation.
10. Notice what shape it has. Is it round, square or some other shape?
11. Notice if this sensation has a colour. Is it light or dark, perhaps?
12. Is it rough or smooth in its texture?
13. What about its temperature; does it seem hot or cold, maybe?
14. Notice if it is moving at all. Is it vibrating, pulsating, spinning or motionless?
15. What about its weight; does it seem heavy or light?
16. Now imagine that this sensation was able to float out of your body. Then picture it suspended in mid-air, and see it sitting there, right in front of you. Just take a few seconds to really observe this sensation and all its properties as it suspends in mid-air in front of you right now. Notice its shape, colour and texture again.
17. Now, imagine this sensation floating back into your body and reclaiming its rightful position just where it was before, just where it belongs.
18. Keep noticing any thoughts and/or urges as they arise. Maybe there are thoughts to rid yourself of this sensation or not wanting it to return into your body, or wishing it gone – or any other thoughts about the situation or person causing you this upset. Leave them alone and return to noticing this sensation in your body.
19. Now, as the sensation sits back in your body, with all its properties, take a few more mindful breaths.
20. This time track each in-breath as it flows into your body, and imagine it flowing into the exact area where this sensation sits. Now imagine your breath flowing around this sensation, opening up the space around it.
21. As you breathe out, track each out-breath as it flows out of your body, and with it release any struggle that you may have with this sensation.
22. Repeat the above a number of times, for at least two minutes.
23. As you make space for this sensation in your body, remember the purpose of this exercise is not to get rid of the sensation, but to make room for it; make peace with it. Just allow it to be there.
24. You don’t have to like the sensation; you just want to accept it.
25. Whenever you feel ready you can begin to open your eyes again, feel your feet against the floor and notice any objects around you, as you ground yourself back into the environment that you are in.

Repeating this exercise a number of times may help to decrease the intensity of any strong emotion and associated physical discomfort. If, however, you find that the emotion/sensation is just as strong following this exercise as when you began, then don’t fret, as the purpose of the exercise was not to change the emotion but to accept it. In doing this exercise, you may have noticed many automatic urges or thoughts showing up which are designed to problem-solve or rid yourself of any strong unwanted emotion and sensation; there may be thoughts about the injustice of the situation that you feel is causing your upset or worries about some impending doom. Engaging in these urges and thoughts as you usually might is likely to intensify the emotion and lead to knee-jerk reactions also. So remember: in choosing not to follow or react to them, like in a practice such as this, you are participating in a worthwhile exercise of self-regulation training which will serve you well if you want to preserve and nurture any stressful relationships within your team.

Whatever the strong emotion you experience is, it is important to notice that it, along with all the associated urges, thoughts and bodily sensations, may conceal an underlying deeper sense of vulnerability. Our anger and/or anxiety can be seen as a suit of armour that we might wear to protect a sensitive wound underneath, before we go out into the battlefield. Sometimes it is important to take off our heavy suit of armour, even for a short time, to allow the air to help our wound heal, even if it’s just a little at a time. As we drop the urges to protect ourselves, such as these anger- or anxiety-fuelled defensive positions, within an exercise just like this, we allow ourselves to make contact with our own deeper sense of vulnerability, our humanness, and instead of hiding it away, we can begin to offer it some kind, mindful attention.

Taking feedback on the chin

In all our years working with corporate executives, we can confirm that we have never yet met one that has been fully at ease with performance reviews. It seems that although work appraisals are an accepted part of the deal and everyone needs to do them, everyone still seems to fear them: team members are terrified that they will be pulled up, criticised, and given a bad review, and managers worry that even the mildest piece of constructive criticism will be received in the worst possible way resulting in either a full-blown temper tantrum or uncontrollable tears. The result is that these potentially highly valuable interactions are often avoided for a long time, there is an air of procrastination around them, and then when they do eventually occur they are often filled with high anxiety and tension. The truth is that authentic feedback is essential to the overall effectiveness of a team and any group endeavour. Although it can feel difficult to give and receive, feedback provides us with greater self-awareness, which is crucial if we want to have better relationships with our colleagues. From this self-awareness we can then choose to consciously change our behaviours for the greater good of the team. You can find a link to a short video with Daniel Goleman and Bill George discussing how best to give feedback as a manager, listed in the ‘Useful resources’ section at the end of this chapter. Here, however, we are going to turn our attention to how we can best increase our willingness to be on the receiving end of feedback for the sake of good teamwork and group success.

In their paper published in the Harvard Business Review (there is another link to this paper in the ‘Useful resources’ section at the end of this chapter), Jay Jackman and Myra Strober outline a number of steps that foster a more helpful response to feedback and the changes that it demands. Specifically, they advise that it is wise to first recognise your emotional relationship and response to feedback. So if you have been putting your appraisal meeting off and avoiding your boss (just praying that he/she will leave you out of the process this time around), then notice that there might be a degree of vulnerability and associated fear motivating your avoidant behaviour. This might be an understandable fear within the context of wider redundancies and job insecurity: about losing your job, for example. Secondly, whether it’s fear or anger or some other emotion that keeps you running for cover at appraisal time, you may want to then seek some assistance to help you manage this, maybe from a coach or psychologist – your mindfulness practice (and particularly Exercise 5.4 above) will of course help you here too. Once you receive feedback it might be helpful to reframe it. So instead of ruminating on how unfair and outright ridiculous the criticism is, notice this circular, unproductive thinking pattern and recognise its outdated function (i.e. problem-solving/protection) and the impact that it is having on your mood and confidence (you might like to revisit Chapter 3 to remind yourself of the different forms of self-criticism and how they affect our confidence level, mood and performance). If you are able to gain perspective on your thoughts, by taking a step back to notice them in this way, you are then free to learn from the feedback, and then choose to use it to your advantage. For example, if you view the larger picture and what really matters to you, which might involve you keeping your job, or maybe you want to play a more pivotal role in propelling your team to greater success, then maybe you can take some mindful breaths and ‘make room’ for implementing the advice that you have been given: perhaps, working on your assertiveness skills with clients or colleagues. Then when incorporating this feedback into proactive action, it might be helpful to break it down into measurable and realistic goals and targets (please see Chapter 6 for how to set SMART goals); your manager, mentor, coach or a colleague can help you with this too. To ensure that you stick to your targets, you can use incentives and give yourself rewards along the way. So, you might like to treat yourself to your favourite meal if you complete that online training module in assertiveness skills, for example.

Feedback is a necessary component to collaborative endeavours at work and can actually be a really rewarding experience. If you want to improve your relationships with your colleagues and if you want to help your team to succeed, then you’ll need to increase your self-awareness; your willingness to receive feedback (in an authentic way) is an excellent vehicle for doing just that. It is helpful to open ourselves up with more flexibility around the uncomfortable feelings that feedback is bound to trigger, for most of us anyway. Remaining mindful of the thoughts, emotions and behaviours that might get in the way of truly opening up to feedback can help each of us to face this daunting part of our work, and in doing so take proactive steps towards self-improvement which can positively strengthen team dynamics and benefit our team as a whole. So when the next batch of appraisals come around, make sure you’re first in line, remain mindful and act boldly in the service of bettering yourself and, as a consequence, your team.

One for all and all for one – delegation

Many people we meet tend to struggle with delegation at work. In their personal lives they find that they can easily ask their partner, kids, parents or friends to do stuff for them, but when it comes to work they seem to find the act of asking for help impossible to do. This is unfortunate, as delegating work, if done well, can have a really positive impact on team dynamics, enhancing a wider sense of team trust and confidence. It can lead to greater levels of group creativity, productivity and an overall higher team performance. A successful team is one that feels comfortable delegating work among its members.

Despite the benefits of delegating work, there are many reasons why we may choose not to delegate to our colleagues. For example, we may fear that if we lose control of our work, then everything is bound to go horribly wrong; we fear that others will mess it up and that will reflect badly on us or, conversely, that the other person might do a better job and pass us by on the career ladder. In the cut-throat and competitive environment in which many of us work, it is completely understandable that we would have some of these fears. Alongside these obstacles to streamlined delegation come others such as how some of us may derive a great sense of satisfaction from being a ‘martyr’ – i.e. feeling good about ourselves because we don’t need any help, and, as no one else could do the work quite as well we are, very happy being the one that saves the day for everyone else. This tendency could be easily linked to a lack of interests outside of our work (i.e. ‘who would I be if I’m not needed here?!’). Commonly, however, many of us just don’t trust anyone else to do the work properly and we might see delegation as a sign of weakness and as an admission to everyone else that we are not coping very well. Alternatively, some of us may feel guilty about asking our colleagues to take on more work, especially if they already appear overloaded. Whatever the reason/s for your lack of delegation might be, remember that a team that doesn’t delegate appropriately erodes the strength in its own dynamics and any trust that it may have and ultimately impedes its own levels of productivity and effectiveness.

If you’re now starting to think about how you might try a bit more delegation, it might be helpful to remember that delegating is not simply about offloading the boring work to someone else (because you simply can!). Instead, it is about giving others in the team the opportunity to do work that will help them to develop their skill set and grow in confidence, which will also be for the greater good of the team as a whole. For a team to function at its optimal level, it is helpful for each member to have as many skills as possible in order for the work to be done efficiently and to the highest standard. Further, the absence of any form of delegation within a team would easily equate to team resentment and a breakdown of trust and healthy relationships. Effective delegation builds trust, healthy team dynamics and a sense of a shared purpose and group identity, making success more likely when working towards common goals.

Effective delegation can have the following benefits:

• frees up time to focus on other important tasks: i.e. it saves time;
• encourages healthy interactions within a team;
• helps individual team members to learn and develop new skills and build confidence;
• gets the group working as a team more effectively;
• brings creativity, new ideas, greater productivity and profitability to your business.

Make no mistake about it: when delegation is done very badly, it can be detrimental to team dynamics and confidence, decreasing the productivity and bottom-line profitability of that team. All delegation is not good delegation. For example, micromanaging is not the way to delegate, as it comes from a place of fear and will likely backfire in terms of any of the benefits listed above. So if you are going to delegate, ensure that you do it mindfully and as fully as you can; remember, micromanaging is likely to squash any team morale, confidence, creativity and growth and become a real time consumer (rather than saver!). If you delegate a task to someone in your team and they fail at that task in some way, it is most likely down to your own poor delegation skills (no doubt you have been micromanaging). To delegate successfully, it is wise that you invest time and effort into the communication and handing-over processes. Think about how often you delegate, if at all, and when you do, how you go about it.

• Do you invest time into the process?
• Do you end up micromanaging your colleagues?
• How does that all work out for you? Your team relationships? The successful outcome of that task?

Interestingly, The Oxford English Dictionary’s definition of the word ‘delegate’ is: ‘Entrust (a task or responsibility) to another person, typically one who is less senior than oneself.’

So do you really and truly ‘entrust’ tasks to your team members when you hand over some work for them to do? If not, you might like to follow our steps to effective mindful delegation as outlined here in our acronym, ENTRUST, below:

Enlist the person that you want to take on the job. Now, this first step involves both choosing the right person and meeting with them to impart the instructions for the job. Although it is tempting to give the job to someone that you know can do it very well, you might like to push both yourself and a less experienced team member (if they are willing!) outside of your respective comfort zones. See this as an opportunity to improve team dynamics, to build trust in someone, and to help a colleague, yourself and the team to grow in confidence. When you have chosen the ‘right’ person, sit down with them and clearly explain what the job is and what it involves, what the end result should look like and how much time they have to get it done. Clearly outline the desired outcome and how the results of the job will be measured with facts, figures and deadlines, to avoid any grey areas and confusion.

Negotiate the rules and limitations of the delegation. To build trust, allow your colleague to take on the entirety of the job; give them full responsibility, as only giving them part of the job might break down some of the trust that you are trying to build. End this discussion with an agreement on very clear instructions on what they can and can’t do, i.e. whether they can or cannot and how they might return to you for clarification or further advice along the way.

Tackle the job at hand. Ask the team member to outline a plan of action around how they propose to tackle the job, step by step. Give them free rein to come up with this plan.

Review the team member’s proposed plan of action with them. If you are not certain that their plan is going to bring about the desired outcome in the time specified, then say so (compassionately) and help them to refine this plan. Be mindful of micromanaging them at this stage and making this your plan; ensure that you give them space to rethink through how they may do the job differently so they retain a sense of ownership.

Understand that the proposed plan may not be your preferred way, but if it seems like it might work then just go with it. Remember you’re helping someone grow into a more productive member of the team (this may apply equally to you as you mindfully allow feelings of anxiety, potential failure, etc. to just come and go, rather than trying to micromanage them away!).

Set a start date and also regular update meetings to monitor progress and redefine objectives. Pre-setting a start date and ‘catch up’ times like this in advance will help you to not continuously look over your teammate’s shoulder every five minutes (undermining their confidence).

Tactfully provide feedback at the end of the task. Take time to go through it with your colleague; give praise on parts that were completed successfully; if there were aspects that could have been done better, make sure your comments are constructive and clear, and compassionately delivered (use the acronym WARM as outlined earlier in this chapter), so your team member can learn from them.

Part of working successfully within a team is accepting that you can’t do everything perfectly by yourself. This might mean that you need to make room for uncomfortable and anxious feelings and pass work on to someone else who can dedicate their time, energy and resources to it. Remember to use mindfulness practices and breathe alongside these feelings. This opening up to feelings (even if we don’t like them) can help with breaking work stressors down, as Ellen J Langer says:

‘Events are less stressful when considered from multiple perspectives, and speaking to different people helps with this.’

(Langer, 2014)

Effective delegation that results in quality outcomes depends on the right type of mindful attention to the handing-over process and the communication with which it is delivered. This can significantly enhance a sense of mutual trust and confidence as well as shared goals and group identity within a team, giving rise to greater team productivity and success.

Taking care of conflict

Feelings of hostility and conflict are common among teams. Whether these arise from scenarios like performance reviews, colleagues not meeting expectations, office gossip or other acts of rudeness, it is imperative that we practise ways to manage our feeling of resentment and effectively resolve conflicts, to preserve a more harmonious team vibe and all the benefits that will result from that. In a time of cutbacks and understaffed teams, a very common bone of contention that we often hear about relates to a strong feeling of injustice around teammates’ apparent lack of shared responsibility to help out when the pressure is on. Of course in some cases it feels as if the pressure is always on, and teammates consistently leaving the office ‘early’ without any obvious consideration for the others left behind (to manage the excessive workload) can really get our hackles up! Whatever your bone of contention with your fellow teammate(s), along with the exercises above, you might also like to try the following exercises to lessen your anger so you are then in a better place to work towards team cohesion, negotiation and problem-solving around these rifts.

We are going to cover two specific and practical mindfulness approaches (one intrapersonal and another interpersonal) to dealing with conflict at work. The first is a traditional practice known as the metta bhavana: this is commonly translated as a ‘loving kindness’ practice that cultivates the naturally kind and caring qualities of the heart (by the way, this is the same practice that led to increased brain activity associated with empathy in the study listed earlier in this chapter, so brace yourself for seeing your arch-rival in a very different light indeed!). The intention of this practice is to actually free ourselves from the tyranny of judgemental, angry and harsh thinking. The impact on others may or may not be noticeable, but we ourselves become less entangled in the toxic dynamics of the conflict and thus cease to act out the necessary other half of a conflict relationship. This often disarms our ‘opponent’ and we are left to perceive them as they are rather than as the meaning we are making of them – more a windmill than a giant.

‘Just then they came in sight of thirty or forty windmills that rise from that plain. And no sooner did Don Quixote see them that he said to his squire, ‘Fortune is guiding our affairs better than we ourselves could have wished. Do you see over yonder, friend Sancho, thirty or forty hulking giants? I intend to do battle with them and slay them. With their spoils we shall begin to be rich for this is a righteous war and the removal of so foul a brood from off the face of the earth is a service God will bless.’

‘What giants?’ asked Sancho Panza.

‘Those you see over there,’ replied his master, ‘with their long arms. Some of them have arms well nigh two leagues in length.’

‘Take care, sir,’ cried Sancho. ‘Those over there are not giants but windmills. Those things that seem to be their arms are sails which, when they are whirled around by the wind, turn the millstone.’

Don Quixote

Practising loving kindness helps you to become much more aware of yourself and of how you relate to other people. It also helps to cultivate greater awareness of and compassion for yourself and others. This is especially crucial in relationships marked by frustration, resentment or anxiety because those emotions narrow our perceptions and make our interactions more clumsy, rigid, and prone to failure.

An article from the Harvard Business Review on how to solve conflicts at work (which you can find a link to listed in the ‘Useful resources’ section) describes the narrowing of our views in challenging relationships as being like caricaturists who exaggerate their subjects’ most prominent physical features: we mentally distort our perceived opponents and ourselves, reducing them to a narrow collection of traits and behaviours (a giant or a hero, for instance). Then we interact with that caricature rather than with the whole person. This may mean relating to ourselves as a victim and the other party as an aggressor, for instance, and entering into co-dependent relationships at work where we struggle to gain a healthy perspective and conflicts simply endure.

Mindfulness opens up our view to include many facets, roles, and the experiences that may have shaped our patterns of thinking and behaviour. The practice also helps us see how we engage in ways that break down communication. With awareness and compassion, it’s much easier to find common ground.

Exercise 5.5: Mindful on the job

Loving kindness for conflict

Before you take on your next challenging interaction, or whenever feelings of conflict arise, take ten minutes to clear your mind and tune your brain for interpersonal effectiveness. Here’s the practice:

• Find a quiet place to sit, walk or stand comfortably.
• Close your eyes if you wish.
• Breathe in, filling your lungs with oxygen and alerting your senses to the aliveness of this moment.
• Breathe out slowly, experiencing the natural release of tension that you may be holding.
• Let your mind settle gently on the rhythm of your breathing, paying attention to the feeling of air flowing in and out of your body.
• When your mind wanders off, gently bring it back to your breath.
• Continue this mindfulness meditation for two minutes
• Loving-kindness meditation begins with a focus on the self. Without self-compassion, it is difficult to cultivate compassion for others. Continuing with your breathing, slowly repeat all or any of the following phrases to yourself multiple times: ‘May I know safety, may I be happy, may I find peace, may I know ease and well-being, may I be free from suffering.’
• As you repeat the phrases, settle into the intention of goodwill they convey. Connect your breath to the positive intentions you are directing toward yourself. Smile if you wish to.
• Sense in the body any residing ease and breathe into this.
• Don’t worry if it is difficult; the setting of intention will bear fruits with time and patience.
• Now bring to mind a person who has cared deeply for you, such as a mentor or close colleague or friend. Focusing on that person and, continuing with your breathing, slowly repeat the following phrases (or whatever ones work for you) multiple times, settling into the positive intentions you are directing to this person: ‘May you be safe from harm and danger, may you be well and happy, may you experience health and strength, may your heart know release.’
• Next, repeat the same above phrases and positive intentions while focusing on a person with whom you are acquainted at work, but don’t know well.
• Finally, focus on a person with whom you have difficulty. Notice what sorts of thoughts and emotions arise. If they are negative, it may help to repeat a few phrases such as the following:
  • ‘You have hopes and dreams, just like me.’
  • ‘You have anxieties and fears, just like me.’
  • ‘You have known suffering, just like me.’
  • ‘You wish to be happy, just like me.’
  • ‘You wish for forgiveness, just like me.’
• Then, continuing with awareness of your breathing and focusing on the person, repeat these phrases several times: ‘May you be safe, may you be happy, may you be healthy, may you be free from suffering.’
• If this is too hard to do, that is OK. You can try changing the words to: ‘I am inclining my mind towards wishing you well and will get there when I am truly able to.’
• You may like to expand the practice to include your team, colleagues and co-workers within your business, and then all others, like your customers and even competitors, as you wish.
• Conclude your meditation practice and continue with your day, carrying with you the intentions of goodwill for yourself and others.

With the intention set in these practices, we can gently free ourselves from our limited views and entrenched positions; we are able to remember our basic shared humanity. There is no need to especially ‘like’ someone or be their new BFF, but we can relate in a more equanimous manner which liberates us from our fixed position without denying our own emotional reality. As such, we are freed up to make caring (for ourselves and others) choices, to interact with effectiveness and to model to our team a truly beneficial way of relating to others.

Effective confrontation

Done well, confrontation can be experienced in a very positive way; it is a way for any team member or the team as a whole to say to another member, ‘We want you in, we value and need your contribution.’ Without productive and effective confrontation, disruptive behaviour can fester and erode any established sense of trust within a team. So when someone is continuously arriving late for team meetings or leaving earlier than anyone else (assuming that’s not the boss and you want to keep your job!), you might like to use the following as a guide for effective confrontation.

The second technique for conflict that we would like to impart, which also works equally well whenever we hope to maximise the chances of an effective outcome in any communication, is adapted from Dialectal Behavioural Therapy (thankfully usually shortened to DBT). This is a complex therapy designed specifically for people who often really struggle to interact well with others. The techniques, which all use mindfulness, require us to first discern the intensity with which we wish to pursue a line of communication, from understanding whether we decide we want to change a situation or whether we work on accepting it as it is. It is sometimes very helpful to clarify our actual position regarding an interaction, to ensure that we aren’t just habitually avoiding conflict or entering unnecessarily into the fray.

Exercise 5.6: Work in progress

Clarifying the intensity of communication

Ask yourself the following to establish the intensity you need and then the appropriate level of persistence required for that interaction:

High intensity:

• Do I have a clear desire for change?
• Is there a high level of urgency to the situation?
• Is there an identifiable ‘need’ for change?

If you have two or more ‘yeses’ then you can establish that you need to:

1. Be clear (use precise language, state goals and objectives succinctly)
2. Be persistent (repeat yourself, keep making your views known)
3. Be firm (don’t take no for an answer, stand your ground)

If you have one or no ‘yeses’, try dropping down a level.

Medium intensity:

• Does the situation need further clarification?
• Am I open to alternatives?
• Am I experiencing any ambivalence or uncertainty?

If you have two or more ‘yeses’ then you can try to:

1. Be open (keep an open mind and seek clarification about goals)
2. Be questioning (explore alternatives, ask questions to generate possibilities)
3. Be tentative (be prepared to compromise, back down or change your mind)

If you have one or no ‘yeses’ consider the level of intensity either above or below.

Low intensity:

• Am I content to accept the situation as it is?
• Do my needs and desires align with the interaction as it is?
• Am I willing to acquiesce, comply and/or consent?

If you have two or more ‘yeses’ then try to:

1. Be accepting (be present and mindful of the communication just as it is)
2. Be temperate (be fair, moderate and balanced)
3. Be accommodating (stay cooperative, tolerant and willing; do what is asked)

If you have one or no ‘yeses’ move up a level.

Once we discern which level of communication best serves us at this time, we can then enhance interpersonal effectiveness further by prioritising which of three different scenarios best meets our priorities in the interaction (we’ll work through these in the following exercise):

1. Objectives effectiveness (ways of maximising the chances of getting what you want)
2. Relationship effectiveness (ways of maximising the chances of keeping the relationship)
3. Self-respect effectiveness (ways of maximising the chances of keeping respect for yourself)

Exercise 5.7: Work in progress

Which effect to perfect?

1. Objectives effectiveness: I want that one … and that one … not that one

In her therapeutic skills manual, Marsha Linehan uses the acronym DEAR MAN for this particular set of techniques. Consider a work situation where you want specific results from a person or your team, then use the following steps:

Describe the situation using facts.

Express your feelings and opinions using phrases such as ‘I want … ’ or ‘I don’t want.’

Assert yourself by asking for what you want or saying ‘no’ clearly (refer to the intensity scale if necessary).

Reinforce your position by explaining the positive consequences.

(Stay) Mindful, focus on your objectives, repeat your opinions, keep your intentions clear by mindfully detaching from reactivity.

Appear confident, use an assertive tone of voice and posture, and keep good eye contact.

Negotiate by offering alternatives and solutions; you could ask them, ‘How can we solve this problem?’

2. Relationship effectiveness: I want you, you, you

When you decide that the quality or intactness of your relationship is paramount, there is another handy acronym, this time GIVE. Now consider an interaction with another person or your team and how you would like them to feel about you after that interaction (remember, you cannot control the outcome but these skills will help you maximise the potential to get the results you want). Try these steps:

(Be) Gentle, be courteous, kind and polite. Leave aside the threats, the judgements and the attacks. Make your speech kind.

(Act) Interested by listening well, with patience and good attention.

Validate and acknowledge the other person’s viewpoint using phrases like ‘I understand’, ‘I realise this is hard for you’, ‘Thank you for clarifying that’ (without sarcasm if you want to keep things chirpy).

(Use an) Easy manner and smile. Soften your hard shell with a little light-heartedness and diplomacy.

3. Self-respect effectiveness: R.E.S.P.E.C.T – find out what that means to me (yeah)

And you could always benefit from this set of skills. Try weaving this in with the others, because even if you don’t get what you want and you have a shouting match with the boss, you are the only one who is going to have to put up with yourself for the rest of your life – so treat you well.

The acronym this time (Marsha L really loves them) is FAST. Bring to mind how you want to feel about yourself following the interaction and then follow these steps:

(Be) Fair, be balanced in your communication and treat yourself and the other person with fairness and even-handedness.

(No) Apologies. You do not need to apologise for any of the following, ever: having an opinion, making a request, disagreeing or being alive.

Stick to your values (we will come back to how we might begin to clarify our values in the next chapter). Be clear about what matters most to you and how you want to be as a person, colleague, employer, employee, etc. Keep your morals, ethics and integrity in mind and act in alignment with all this.

(Be) Truthful. Drop the excuses, lies, helplessness and exaggerations. Firstly, you will be more likely to be heard without the drama. Secondly, if you use these things you undermine and disempower yourself in the long run.

Mindfulness within and between teams

Mindfulness practice, as we have seen, increases our awareness of thoughts and emotions and our ability to regulate them, often referred to as ‘emotional intelligence’; this can lead to a greater level of personal effectiveness and performance in our work (which we will discuss again and in further detail in Chapter 6). Research into ‘group emotional intelligence’, conducted by Vanessa Druskat and Steven Wolff (please see a link to an article about their work listed in the ‘Useful resources’ section at the end of this chapter) has found that beneficial team skills such as collaboration, cooperation and shared group objectives are more likely to emerge when there are three basic conditions in place within a team; these basic conditions are:

• mutual trust among team members;
• a sense of group identity;
• a sense of group efficacy.

Without these fundamental conditions in place, team members are likely to only go through the motions of participating, cooperating and committing, and as a result the team may not be as effective as it could be. In order to fully engage and give their all, each team member needs to experience the sense of trust, identity and efficacy that exists within the group as a whole. This is more likely to occur when a team makes efforts to practise mindfulness such as the mindfulness-based exercises for effective interaction presented in this chapter. With these ways of interacting, a team can build its capacity to respond constructively in stressful and emotionally charged situations, resulting in a fuller engagement in tasks and greater team effectiveness. For sustained effectiveness, a team needs to remain mindful of the emotions of its group members and the team as a whole, as well as others it may be interacting with outside of the group.

Mindful of team members

A team’s ability to regulate the emotions of its members is crucial for its overall effectiveness. As we highlighted earlier on, the most constructive way to do this is by establishing ways for dealing with confrontation, as well as with distressed individuals in the team. Although it may sound counterproductive to engage in confrontation, when it is done well, confrontation can be very positive and really help to boost a team’s sense of trust and efficacy. Most team members will inevitably engage in behaviour that falls out of line from time to time, and a team that feels comfortable to pull a member up on that behaviour is more likely to address emotional issues promptly and nip them in the bud before they fester and escalate and then become detrimental to the team’s overall performance. Even in the absence of any obvious moody or challenging team members, it would be wise in any team meeting to check in and ask each other questions in a genuine and curious way, such as, ‘Has anyone got any other opinions that we have not yet heard or considered fully?’ Equally, caring for team members who may be upset may make all the difference to team cohesion and effectiveness. Offering one another support via mindful communication including validation and compassion (as outlined in the exercises in this chapter) is likely to strengthen a team culture of positive regard, respect and appreciation, giving rise to a greater sense of trust, identity and efficacy which soon translates into greater efforts and commitment to common goals.

Mindful of the group

It is important for any team to be aware of its overall group emotions and also to feel skilled in regulating these emotions. For example, negative feedback from clients, management or other teams can really deplete team morale and lead to the team losing sight of all its good qualities and hard work. This in turn can negatively affect team confidence and therefore the team’s effectiveness. Similarly, group emotions can run high at times of change, redundancy and restructuring, and also in the face of ‘bad news’ generally. It can be helpful to set time aside to check in with one another at regular intervals and/or foster an environment where it is OK for any team member to bring attention to the rest of the team if they notice that the group mood is low, fearful or irritable. Any conscious effort to build team spirits, such as team-building events or away days can help to increase the team’s emotional capacity and its ability to respond to the inevitable emotional challenges it faces. Actively seeking feedback from other teams or customers can also increase group awareness of its emotions, and scheduling problem-solving sessions as well as reframing negative feedback and cultivating a ‘can do’ group attitude within the team can also help regulate the team’s collective emotional state.

Mindful of others outside the team

Successful groups should also be mindful of others’ emotions and regularly and consistently look outwardly towards other individuals and teams or organisations. Developing other standard practices that increase team awareness of the broader organisational context can be very helpful in enhancing its effectiveness. Looking outside of the group is especially important in situations where a team’s work will have significant impact on others in the organisation. For example, an HR or IT team serving others’ needs would do well to become aware and listen to the perspectives, emotions, priorities and needs of other groups in the company which it may be offering services to. Certain team members can take the role of ‘go-between’ with other teams to gain greater insight and awareness rather than blissfully ignoring others’ needs and becoming lost in blinkered perspectives. With this awareness, the team can increase its chances of success by then using its skills to offer tailored services that directly respond to the needs of other teams to help regulate the emotions in these other teams and win their positive appraisal.

Mindfulness and team work

In summary, to develop a more mindful and therefore effective team, team members will need to be willing to talk openly about their emotions and have an understanding about how emotions affect the team’s work. The team needs to take proactive steps to increase its awareness and regulation of emotions in the service of strengthening its relationships both inside and outside of the group. In developing mindful attitudes (i.e. openness, acceptance, curiosity, compassion) and bringing mindfulness to their interactive behaviours (i.e. active listening, validation, effective confrontation, feedback and delegation processes), as described in this chapter, a team can increase its chances of becoming the most effective it can be. A mindful team will become a deeply human team by nature.

Unfortunately, for many teams it can remain difficult to implement the mindful attitudes and interactive behaviours described in this chapter. This is because many company cultures still do not seem to welcome employees’ emotions and instead encourage emotions to be checked in at the front door, before the work day begins. We are, however, witnessing a positive trend in the opposite direction. More and more teams are recognising the benefits of more mindful interactions to more effectively manage the thoughts and emotions that can impede group processes and the impact this has on team performance and overall effectiveness. More companies seem to be willing to make efforts to develop and establish these mindful ways of operating in a team into their company culture via leadership development training and more general communication and stress management workshops across all levels of staff. This is all very promising to see, as in our experience any team that lacks mindful attention in team interaction is likely to fail. A team’s commitment to mindfulness practice is the key to its success.

As always, here are your salient take-away points from this chapter:

So that wraps up this chapter. We hope that in reading it, you have been able to consider the practical ways that you might be able to increase your team’s productivity and overall effectiveness via careful attention to mindful interactions and communication. Whether you invite other team members to consider joining you in implementing these mindful approaches or you simply begin to implement them yourself, you can be certain that you are offering your team some of the most helpful strategies to maximise its chances of being a great success. Next, we are going to turn your attention to how mindfulness can help us to manage work-related stress and also buffer against burnout and exhaustion so that whatever may come around, you can know that you are doing your very best to maintain your peak performance while on the job.

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