Throughout the process, there can be a combination of both joint sessions and individual sessions. The former is where all parties are present in one room together. The latter is where the parties separate and the mediator then speaks to each party separately in turn. We will discuss when it might be necessary to separate the parties and have individual sessions, but in my experience it is generally preferable to keep the parties together in one room as much as possible.
It is during the joint sessions that the most progress is often made as the parties hear things directly from each other and begin to get a better understanding of how the other is feeling and perceiving things. It is not uncommon for this to be the first occasion where there has been the time and space or opportunity for the issues to be aired in this way and directly with each other. It can get emotional and fraught from time to time, but this is an important part of the process. In my early days as a mediator, I worried if things became difficult and would tend to break out into individual sessions; with experience, I now let the joint sessions flow and will only intervene or separate parties if I think that it is really necessary. Many of the mediations that I now undertake will not include any individual sessions at all.
Following the "uninterrupted time" opening statements stage, the interaction and dialog generally becomes a bit more natural with one person speaking and another replying, commenting, or questioning.
Here are some tips on how to manage the joint sessions:
- It is always helpful to suggest a structure to the discussion and agree the points or issues to be discussed. As one issue is resolved or understood sufficiently, you can move the discussion on to the next in order to maintain progress.
- You need to keep an eye on the exchanges and ensure that both parties are getting an equal opportunity to speak and be heard without constant interruptions.
- Ask each party in turn to comment on what they have heard, or give a view on a particular issue or proposal as a means of encouraging equal participation.
- If you feel that one party is not hearing what has been said, a good tip is to either positively reframe the statements or ask the "non-listening" party to restate what they have just heard.
- Keep track of any areas of agreement or common threads.
- It is handy to have a flip chart available so that you can start to put up the issues or areas of agreement on the flip chart. If individuals can visualize where they have got to, it can often help them maintain focus.
- Summarize regularly and clarify what, if any, progress has been made.
- Allow the parties reasonable freedom to discuss the issues; you will often find that other issues or, indeed, areas of agreement emerge. However, if you feel it is really going off at a tangent, then it may be helpful to restate the issues, summarize any progress, and clarify what issues are to be discussed next.
- Keep an eye on how the parties are doing. Mediation is an intense, difficult, and tiring process. While you will want to maintain progress, if you feel that the parties (or you) need a break, then suggest this. It is counterproductive to continue in such circumstances.
The main things to bear in mind when you are managing joint sessions is to ensure that you demonstrate and maintain your neutrality at all times and facilitate the discussions in such a way to maintain progress and focus. Try to resist looking surprised at anything you hear and try and challenge each party equally. You need to balance maintaining control and authority over the process as well as letting the process and dialogue flow; with experience, you will learn when and when not to intervene.