Once everyone is in the same room, then the process commences with you as the mediator making an opening statement. The purpose of this is to reiterate your role again, the key principles of the process, and an outline of what is going to happen.
You may feel like you are repeating yourself but this is an important step. In particular, it gives the parties an opportunity to further settle down now they are in the same room. In some situations, it may be the first time that the parties have set eyes on each other in some time and they will be anxious and nervous.
Your opening statement also ensures that you go through the key points with everyone present and listening to the same message at the same time. Finally, it establishes your position as having authority and being in control of the process.
Again you will find your own way of doing this, but here is a checklist of the things that I would generally cover in an opening statement.
All of these points are worth bearing in mind, so you may want to make a note:
- A thank you to both parties for agreeing to attend the mediation and for signing the Agreement to Mediate; acknowledging that this in itself is an important first step.
- You are not there to judge or make a decision.
- Your role is to facilitate the parties reaching a better understanding and if possible, a solution.
- You may ask challenging questions to encourage new thinking.
- If a solution is possible, then the power to do so is in the parties' hands; you may put forward options, but any decision is for the parties themselves.
- What is said and agreed will remain confidential unless the parties agree otherwise; nothing will be reported back without the agreement of all.
- Confirming again the confidentiality of the process.
- Clarifying that you may take some notes but that this is for your own purposes only and the notes will be destroyed at the end of the process.
- Clarify who is to go first with the opening statements and a reminder that while one person is speaking, the other is not to interrupt so that each has the opportunity to say what they want and to be heard.
- Clarifying the process that follows the opening statements.
- A reminder that if anyone needs a break / individual session at any time, then they should say so. Alternatively, you may suggest this at appropriate times.
- Clarify what will happen should agreement be reached.