As we saw earlier, it is for the parties to resolve the conflict or not and for the former to come to whatever solution works for them. Since there is no limit to what can be agreed in a mediation context (other than things outside yours and the parties' control) there is an infinite range of solutions available.
In your role as a facilitator, you can assist the parties by helping to identify creative solutions. The best way to do this is to put forward a number of possible options for the parties to consider or brainstorm ideas using a flip chart. Don't worry about putting forward daft ideas; the more creative you can be in offering solutions that are "outside the box" the better, as this may generate other ideas and encourage new ways of thinking. It may also encourage the parties to look for and become focused on finding solutions.
One way that you can help the parties to identify possible solutions is to help to identify their needs and interests, as it is here that the parties are likely to find some common ground or alignment, leading to a solution that satisfies both. The needs and interests are what lie underneath the factual disputes and positions that people in conflict take up.
Needs and interests are the things that are important to us all at a basic human level, and they are often the same or very similar for both parties in a conflict situation. Needs and interests include things like the following:
- Belonging
- Security
- Personal safety
- Recognition
- Retaining control
- Saving face
- Financial wellbeing
- Health
- Privacy
You will know when you are getting close to uncovering or identifying needs and interests as this is when things start to "hot up". For example:
- When parties make statements that include things such as "I want/don't want…. I need…. I am concerned/afraid about …….what bothers me is …………… The problem is …………My complaint is".
- Issues arise that spark argument or are expressed with high emotion.
- A party becomes animated or withdrawn.
- The party is describing how the problem is affecting mood, routine, or health.
- There are underlying themes that connect several issues.
- There is hidden care amid blame. For example, shouting at a child who runs into the road is a desire to protect. An example I have come across in a workplace context was non-provision of information with a desire not to overload a colleague.
If you can identify the needs and interests, then there is often a way of both parties getting what they want and in a way that works.