Chapter 24
 Assertiveness with Your Staff

Let’s take what you’ve learned thus far and apply it so that you can both be assertive with your staff and help them to be more assertive. Why bother to help your staff be assertive? An assertive staff will be more productive in the long run, and you’ll see less turnover and less burnout because they’ll feel less frustrated.

Think of all the bosses you’ve had. Have you ever felt totally bottled up because the climate was suffocating? Have you been in a situation where you couldn’t air your views without being fearful of your position? I once left a job for that reason. Perhaps you know people who have done the same.

In this chapter, you’ll learn how to avoid being a boss like the ones I describe.

Helping Your Staff to Be More Assertive and at Their Best

Because you’re the boss, you have more latitude with your staff in helping them to be assertive than you do with your co-workers. For example, in preparation for the next group meeting, you could assign one of your staff people to lead a significant part of the session.

If that’s going too far for you, appoint one of your staff people in advance to have some responsibility for airing his or her views during the meeting.

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 Just the Facts
The best leaders throughout history in politics, commerce, and even religion routinely surrounded themselves with the best staff people—advisors—that they could find. Sure, a few autocrats here and there kept their own counsel, and some of them actually did manage to retain power for longer than anyone might have predicted. The odds, however, are with the leader who surrounds himself with the best people he can find. Not “yes men” or “yes women,” but people you know you can count on for the straight dope about critical issues.

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Open in Word Only

So often in business and industry you hear of managers who proclaim with great pride, “I have an open door policy. Any of my people can come in and talk to me at any time.” If you were to poll such managers’ staffs as to how open the open door policy is, and exactly what can be said during such meetings, you’d find that the staff has completely different views.

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 Just the Facts
A study conducted in the early 1990s by Psychological Associates Inc., a St. Louis consulting firm, found that executives often rated communication among themselves as their main area of difficulty. This was more problematic than handling conflict, holding better meetings, or making decisions. Moreover, if corporate executives find it difficult to have conversations among themselves, how much better are they when communicating with staff members throughout the company?

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True communication, the kind that will help maintain committed employees, and probably show on the profit sheet as well, is communication in which workers feel they have a stake in the company’s success, and a chance to be heard as well.

What About You?

If you are a supervisor or manager of even one other person, have I got a quiz for you! On a scale of one to five (with one being the lowest and five being the highest), rate yourself on the following ten items:

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 Handle with Care
A boss may think he is accessible (and rate himself highly on these points) when actually he is not. If you’re a boss, you might ask your employees to answer these questions about you.

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If your answer to each question is a four or five, congratulations, you’re probably someone that others would like to work for. If your answer to each question is a three, certainly you have room for improvement. Use this quiz as a way to check yourself in one month and in two months to see if your own rating improves as a result of the new measures you put into practice.

If your answer to each question is a two or less, guess what? The atmosphere in your department is probably stifling. There are many things your staff would like to tell you, for the good of the department, but they don’t feel safe to do so. This is a difficult situation for them, and an unfortunate one for you, because you’re not getting the best from them.

Knowing When to Drop Back and Punt

Kevin Martinson went into work early one morning to finish up a project. By 11:30 a.m., he had accomplished a great deal. The project was completed, and Kevin was pleased with it. He was also ready for a break. Near lunch time, Kevin took the elevator down to the main floor and was walking to a sandwich shop when he passed his boss, Ed Seals.

Ed was preoccupied in thought and hadn’t really noticed Kevin. When Kevin passed by with a big “Hello,” Ed managed to say “Hi, Kevin” and then proceeded on. Suddenly he stopped, turned around and said in a louder voice, “Say, Kevin. I’ve got some figures I’d like you to check, and also the Taddle Company report from last month should be revised, and . . .”

By this time, what Ed was saying really didn’t matter much to Kevin. You see, Kevin had put in a good morning’s work and was now on his way to lunch. While he would normally be ready to tackle any assignment given him, at this particular moment he was simply not interested.

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 Handle with Care
Discussing assignments and responsibilities during chance meetings in the lobby of the building or in the sandwich shop is not being assertive; it’s being overbearing and not of benefit to anyone.

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When Ed finally finished talking, Kevin muttered, “Okay, just gotta grab a bite to eat.” He then made his way to the sandwich shop with about one-tenth of the enthusiasm of several minutes ago.

This situation, unfortunately, occurs thousands of times every working day. Ed and Kevin have a fairly sound working relationship, and it’s not Ed’s intention to suffocate Kevin.

Why does an otherwise well-meaning supervisor often forget that there’s a proper time and place to discuss work assignments and job responsibilities? The discussion of either of these at the wrong time or place can have the opposite effect of assertiveness—it can demotivate or dampen the spirits of the most loyal and hardworking employees.

One reason well-meaning supervisors may inadvertently and inappropriately “collar” staff outside of the office or on otherwise “neutral” ground is that they happen to think of the task at the moment they’re passing the employees and don’t wish to lose that particular train of thought.

Okay, so occasionally we all have thoughts we want to unload in the moment. If you want to be assertive, however, discussing or issuing an assignment on the spur of the moment can only be a reflection of poor planning.

Some supervisors mistakenly believe that discussing an assignment in the stairwell is a time saver. Not! Most staff will not be mentally prepared to hear and act upon your message, no matter how effective you are at expressing yourself otherwise. So, if you provide instructions at the wrong time, the chances are you’ll have to repeat them!

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 Make It So
Assuming the employee is doing his or her job, and the manager has effectively coordinated planning responsibilities, no employee should have to be collared in the lobby or in the washroom unless there is a company emergency.

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Beyond Where: When?

If you seek to be assertive, “when” can be as important as “where.” When should you bring up a difficult assignment or sticky subject?

DON’T bring up a sticky subject::

• The very moment someone gets to work
  
• Just before lunch
  
• After an argument has just concluded
  
• When the other person is otherwise heavily distracted
  
• Right after someone else has brought up a sticky subject
  
• When you’re unprepared to be assertive
  
• Just before quitting time

DO bring up a sticky subject:

• When you’re both seated
  
• When the other party is calm and relaxed
  
• When you have the other person’s undivided attention
  
• When the other person tells you it’s a good time to do so
  
• When delaying any longer will result in serious consequences
  
• When, in your best judgment, the time is appropriate

You’ll have to play it by ear sometimes, but usually these guidelines will serve you well.

Having to Say It Only One Time

In the military, when a superior officer gives an order, you can bet the troops jump. There are immediate and sometimes severe penalties for not responding the first time you’re told to do something. In the working world, there are penalties as well, but usually not as acute.

How do you get to a point where you only have to say something once? How do you get each and every one of your staff people to be responsive, independent of their skills, aptitudes, and backgrounds, and orientation toward work?

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 Handle with Care
In supervising people who don’t seem to “get” assignments correctly, you need to pull out the stops to ensure that they hear, understand, and follow your directions explicitly. You need to create reinforcing backup systems, such as taping the instruction (discussed below). Yes, it takes some time, but hey, it takes a lot more time to try to correct something that’s been turned in and unfortunately widely misses the mark.

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Assuming that you communicate effectively and that the instructions are finalized, it’s useful to assess your staff based on their demonstrated ability to understand your instructions.

There are staff people who get assignments right the first time. These are the people you love to work with, and to whom you will give the most amount of latitude when making assignments.

Then there are those people who seem to get the assignment right the first time, but then ultimately get something wrong. With these people, you need to show some patience, and engage in some reinforcing communication techniques.

Finally, there are those staff people who consistently don’t get the assignment right. These are people you’d like to ax, but for one reason or another, you’re stuck with them at least for awhile.

May I Have Your Attention?

Once you’ve assessed your staff people based on their ability to understand and act upon instruction, here are some strategies for conveying what you want to have done and only having to say it once.

You can use these techniques with all levels of staff, acknowledging that those in the last category will still require the greatest effort on your part. The payoff, however, is worth it when you find that even your least effective staff member has to only hear you once to get the assignment correct.

Tape-Record Your Conversation

Tape-record your conversation with individual staff members as you dole out an assignment, and give the tape to the staff person. I’ve used this for years to great effect. It’s especially handy when the assignment I’m giving is new for the staff person, if it’s quite involved, or if it simply takes a lot to convey.

The tape does not take the place of having the boss available to clarify the assignment or answer questions, but rather, it’s a tool to help someone remember all the details of the assignment.

Dictate the Assignment

Dictate the assignment and have it typed up, or type it yourself, then print two copies so that you and the staff person can each have a copy while you’re reviewing it face to face. Another option is to e-mail the assignment to the staff person so that he can download it and have it on his computer.

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 Make It So
Audio-taping your instructions to your staff is advisable if it’s a multi-part assignment or if there is specific wording that you want a staff person to use as part of successful completion of the task.

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You might also request that a staff person provide a written running commentary on each aspect of the assignment. That way, you’ll have a written record of what was assigned and a report from the staff person as to his or her progress on the various aspects of the assignment.

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 Just the Facts
Touch means much. Studies show that if one adult lightly touches the arm or shoulder of another while imparting information, the person being touched has a much higher probability of receiving the message. If you or the climate in which you’re employed are too worked up about harassment issues, or if there is a corporate policy specifically forbidding it, feel free to skip the light touch. Remember, however, that emotions play an important part in the messages you convey to others. Managers who appeal only to the logic and rationale of their followers are rarely as assertive and, hence, effective as leaders who combine both the rational and emotional pleas.

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Say It Back to Me

Another effective technique is to make your assignment and then request that the staff person repeat it back to you, in her own words, so that you’re sure she understood it completely. You might even request that she make notes as you’re issuing the assignment. Obviously, if you use this in conjunction with the tape recorder, your PC, and printer, or e-mail, you’ll have double and triple reinforcement.

Okay, So It’s More Work

If this sounds like a lot, consider that miscommunication and misunderstanding of assignments is probably the single most costly element in business today. Even if you deliver your assignments with the oratory skills of the Reverend Billy Graham, the charisma of Tom Cruise, the prose of Abraham Lincoln, and the presence of Sylvester Stallone, it’s not likely that your staff people are going to hear an assignment once and execute it to perfection, except in one itty-bitty circumstance: if the assignment is singular in nature, short-term, and to be acted upon immediately. So, a football coach can bark orders at a player, who runs back into the game, and follows what was just drilled into his head at a high decibel level. Otherwise, people—being rather imperfect creatures—will get some things wrong.

At work, you also can get away with saying it once if the assignment is singular, short-term, and to be executed immediately. In such an instance, your staff person only needs to hear it once. Otherwise, you’re managing erroneously if you think your words are perceived like golden tones coming from on high.

When to Let Your Staff Have the Floor

How do you help your staff when they want or need to be assertive? In a word, you give them space. You give them the opportunity to air their views, reversing all those things you learned about being assertive yourself.

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 Make It So
Be your magnanimous self and on occasion clear the floor so that someone else can make their views known.

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Be a good listener, don’t butt in, maintain eye contact, and hear them out. Offer feedback based on what you heard.

If you’re in agreement, say so. If you have to take issue with something that’s said, do so in a responsibly assertive manner so that staff person still feels good for having asserted himself.

You can give space by saying things like, “Say, Ted, I imagine you might have some pretty strong feelings on this . . .” Here are some other phrases you might want to consider in support of helping others in your group to be assertive:

• “Roberta, I’d be interested, and I think the others would be too, in hearing your views on this.”
  
• “John, did you want to add to that? I know you have a strong background in this area . . .”
  
• “I’m not sure what to make of this, but you know, Carla, I’d be eager to know your feelings on this . . .”
  
• “You know, Albert’s been working in this area for quite a while and I think his thoughts would be valuable . . .”
  
• “ . . .but I’ve said enough, let’s give the floor to Terry.”

Silently but surely, as you give others the opportunity to express their opinions, you win a vote of thanks from everyone.

Encourage Your Staff

Here’s a long list of actions, not just words, to encourage your staff to open up, be more assertive, and, as the U.S. army ad says, “Be all that they can be”:

• Welcome their suggestions even when you don’t agree with them.
  
• Occasionally have lunch together as equals.
  
• Help them to be their best, but don’t expect them to be perfect.
  
• Take what they say at face value—believe them.
  
• Trust in them, and demonstrate your trust.
  
• Acknowledge them when they accept a tough challenge.
  
• Strive to be as fair and consistent with them as you possibly can.
  
• Show enthusiasm when you see them.
  
• Follow through on any promises you make, however big, however small.
  
• Answer their questions as completely as you can.
  
• Let them take the lead in areas where they have the most competence.
  
• Offer praise, recognition, and reward immediately following a good performance.
  
• Now and then, ask them about themselves.

Some Staffers Will Present a Challenge

On occasion you may need to handle significant difficulties such as high absenteeism, insubordination, and dishonesty. A good way to win confidence is by describing a problem with a staff person as “one that you both have to work at solving.”

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 Handle with Care
Inexperienced or first-time supervisors sometimes have trouble dealing with serious personnel problems. The worst thing that can be done, however, is to pretend the problem doesn t exist or to look the other way so as to avoid a confrontation and the responsibility of administering corrective action.

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If possible, be seated next to the person instead of across the table or desk. This also helps symbolize that you are on his or her side and decreases the possibility of confrontation.

By approaching the situation at hand in a professional, controlled manner, you can be assertive and actually increase morale rather than decrease it. Your staff members are often well aware of their unacceptable behavior and know that they will eventually be confronted by you or some other authority.

Here are some guidelines for ensuring that you tackle problems in a way that resolves them:

1. Be certain that any organizational policies and procedural guidelines that do exist are understood by your staff.
   
2. Highlight and make clear from the beginning any specific activities that you deem inappropriate.
   
3. Keep a log or chart of inappropriate behavior or activity that can serve as the necessary documentation if the situation grows worse and you have to take more drastic action.

In general, if you lay the groundwork in advance to head off problems, you’ll reduce the chances of being caught unprepared to deal with the issue.

Helping Your Staff to Work Better with You

When you work with people daily, it’s easy to fall into unproductive communication patterns. You need to stay aware of what’s being said, and use assertive language when you want or need to gain attention. The longer you are around someone, the more easily you fall into communication routines. Therefore, it becomes more important to vary the structure of your sentences as well as the substance of your communication.

Disarm your listeners on occasion by using bright, bold, colorful language that moves otherwise routine discussions to a new level. Instead of saying to someone, “I think I can help you here,” try, “I see myself striding side by side with you as we take control of the situation.” Instead of saying, “I’ve heard what you said, and I’ll get back to you,” try something like, “What you’ve said is provocative and certainly merits considerable thought. I’m going to give your words serious attention.”

Too exuberant, you say? Disarming? The staff person will hardly believe it’s you? Fine. That means that your words are likely to be remembered.

Telling the Truth

In addition to using colorful, descriptive language, there’s something about speaking the truth that your staff will find refreshing. Be forthright about what you can or can’t do, what you have or haven’t done. Also acknowledge the reality of the situation. Try saying something like:

• “I know I’m asking a lot, but it’s important that you . . .”
  
• “This may seem as though it’s coming out of left field, but I’d like you to . . .”
  
• “I haven’t mentioned this before, but I want you to . . .”
  
• “It’s going to require more effort than usual, but I want to have . . .”
  
• “You might see this as kind of a challenge; my request is to have you . . .”

When you’re asking someone to do more or to do something special, letting them know that you recognize the magnitude of the request can make all the difference in the world.