Family background

Lillian described her parents as ‘working class’: ‘My Dad was a builder and my Mum was very much a worker – she worked often three jobs at a time.’ Neither her parents nor her two brothers had any experience of higher education:

Lillian’s father was an alcoholic and did not provide any parental guidance:

Lillian felt her family’s values were centred on going out to work and being financially independent:

As a teenager, her ambitions were more focused on relationships – ‘a male relationship and getting married and all that type of stuff’. She married at 21 and divorced at 27, working in secretarial jobs that suited what she called the ‘needy’ side of her personality. She married again at 40 and her daughter was born two years later.

Educational experiences

Of her primary school years, Lillian said: ‘I don’t remember anything being challenging, but I do very much in high school.’ High school ‘was a very lonely time for me … it was a time of really learning about how hard it was’. This was related to:

During this period, Lillian struggled with identity issues:

However, Lillian recalled some happier times at high school. She was quite athletic and spent a lot of time doing gymnastics and dancing. Organising social events such as school dances was also a positive experience for Lillian as group activities were important to her.

At that time, Lillian wanted to be a model when she left school: ‘I think I had the looks and I had the body but I didn’t have the confidence.’ The only person who suggested she should think about further study was her sports teacher, who was ‘one of my mentors’. He wanted her to go to teachers’ college to become a physical education teacher, but this did not appeal to Lillian. She discussed her sports teacher’s advice with her mother: ‘And I think she would have said, “No, don’t – just go out and work”.’ Lillian felt that office work was the only option. She studied shorthand and typing at school and left in the penultimate year of high school.

Although Lillian identified lack of parental support as one of the major obstacles to her succeeding at school and beyond, her mother wanted her to go to an elite private girls’ school, ‘which is surprising as we don’t come from private school backgrounds’. Lillian refused to go because she did not want to leave her friends.

She did not recall any career guidance at school, and wondered whether it would have been offered if she had completed the final high school year. Her gender influenced both Lillian’s academic and career expectations and over time she became less ambitious:

When she was about 30, her feelings began to change:

She recognised that workplace autonomy requires an education. She had a break from secretarial work at 42 when her daughter was born and realised she could ‘either go back into that type of work or do something else’. She knew that it was ‘now or never … that I wanted to go to university’. Lillian’s university-educated husband was able to provide her with a secure emotional base. She did not think she would have had the ‘mental fortitude’ to go to university if ‘I didn’t have that safety net’.

About this time, she joined a mothers’ group where she met a ‘well- educated mother’ who supported her and ‘pushed me gently’ into thinking about university. Lillian completed three university subjects online through an open access provider and then was accepted into an arts degree. She commented on her experience as a student:

Lillian’s love of learning became obvious to her once she commenced her studies but she reiterated: ‘I don’t think I probably would have done it if I hadn’t … had that secure base …’

She was very enthusiastic about the open access pathway she took into higher education:

Lillian’s mentor from the mothers’ group continued to be an influence and support:

That is what Lillian did. She deferred from her arts degree and enrolled to study social work.

Planning

Lillian was not in paid employment when she began her university studies but she had to work around the needs of her then two-year-old daughter. Thus, her planning involved choosing courses around this commitment and studying in off-campus mode. During her daughter’s pre-school year she was able to enrol part-time and moved to full-time, on-campus mode when her child went to school.

When she began her course, planning was also important to the way Lillian worked:

Managing

Finances were not a barrier to Lillian’s enrolment in higher education, although the fees for her open access course were ‘not cheap … and then the books on top of it’.

Unlike many mature age students, Lillian was computer literate and that made it easier for her:

Persistence and resilience were very important in the way she managed her studies:

Lillian drew on the resilience she had developed during the challenging times she experienced when she was younger:

Timing was important in allowing Lillian to manage her study. Having ‘finally found my secure base’ with her husband and child she felt that the time was right:

Lillian’s main challenge was balancing her parenting role with her study commitment. For example, organising child care around ‘split’ lectures (such as a 9.00am lecture followed by a 4.00pm one) was difficult for her. She had to accept offers of help from her friends, particularly regarding child care. She considered that it was easier for her than for some other mothers because she only had one child to look after, and she studied while her daughter slept.

Studying at weekends was another strategy that Lillian used to manage her studies. She employed a cleaner so that she could study all day on Saturdays while her husband minded their daughter:

Lillian was very focused and single-minded about her studies:

Although she did not do any paid work during her time at university, Lillian did do canteen duty and help in the classroom at her daughter’s school.

The illness and death of Lillian’s mother was very difficult for her as she dealt with the pressures of looking after both her child and her mother. She was offered the opportunity to complete her degree at Honours level but she declined because of the pressures and the grief following her mother’s death.

Lillian also felt that her studies had impacted on her social life (‘I can’t study straight for eight hours and then go … and socialise’). At times she felt she had been studying for too long, with her previous study and then her current course, which led to ‘burn out’. She felt impatient to get into the workforce and start practising as a social worker.

Despite these feelings, Lillian was clear that she had to finish the course:

Reflecting on what drove her to continue with her studies, Lillian spoke of determination (‘you know, “finish what you start” type of thing’), although she found it hard to foresee how completion of her degree would change her life:

However, she also felt that: ‘I would disappoint lots of people if I didn’t finish it. And I would disappoint myself.’

The work placements in her course created a challenge for Lillian. At the time of her first placement, she felt her daughter was too young to go into after- school care. This meant that ‘I had to compromise … my placement … but I think it truly affected my confidence.’

Lillian felt under pressure to perform better in her next placement:

In summary, Lillian identified planning, determination, and resilience as key elements in managing her studies and continuing with her course.

Support

Lillian’s husband contributed significantly to her studies by providing practical and emotional support. Having access to formal and informal child care was also an important form of support. It meant that Lillian could complete her studies in a shorter period of time:

Although she went to essay-writing classes when she first started to study, and she talked to one of the lecturers about applying for special consideration following her mother’s death, Lillian did not use any of the university’s support services, nor did she rely on her peers during the final year of her course:

It was a very quiet group and I went quieter as well so that surprised me. I was hoping when I came out of the degree that I’d have the confidence to mount an argument and have stronger opinions but that didn’t happen …

Yes, my self-esteem did go up. I always got good marks so I surprised myself … so my self-esteem did increase. I enjoyed it … loved learning.

[Previously] I did my work but don’t think I actually learnt about anything that I was interested in. So I guess through learning I discovered I had interests which actually gave me more of a definition about who I was. So, yes, I learnt something about myself through my learning.

I didn’t have a chance in my corporate job to think about sociology or think about the impact of homelessness or those social issues that don’t get really talked about in a patriarchal corporate scenario, I guess.

I was crying as I drove into uni because I was just so overwhelmed and proud that I got there … I’d talked about it for so many years because it was a pretty big deal for me to go to uni and, yes, it was an overwhelming feeling that I’d done it, that I was actually going to learn something. I guess I had a thirst for learning that I hadn’t really tapped into until I went to uni.

I started to learn and then I’m thinking about, ‘What am I going to do with this learning once I leave uni?’ … Then I suppose I looked at my courses and the outcome that they would bring me in terms of paid work and that’s when I decided to go to social work, knowing that an arts degree would stop unless I went down the academic field which I don’t think was going to suit me… but I knew a social work degree would get me a job and it dovetails into social issues and working with people … I started thinking like a uni student I suppose, ‘What are my opportunities once I get my degree?’

I would have liked to have done [Honours] because I am a bit research-based in terms of getting [into] an issue … what I don’t like about the social work [course] is that you never got to explore one subject totally. It was all bits and pieces which is what a degree is. It gives you a little bit of everything, doesn’t it? So I was looking forward to actually getting one issue and really exploring that in terms of Honours, but anyway I knew I couldn’t do it because losing my Mum really rocked my world … I had to knuckle down last year and just focus, whereas I’m in a different phase of my life now …

I miss the learning. I miss the writing of essays and things because I think that’s where you get a little bit of depth in your knowledge, so I miss that. I miss forming those arguments … I suppose paid work overrides that spare time to be able to study … But then there are some opportunities sometimes that come through like for PhDs and things and I think that would be good, so there’s still a desire there but I think I’ve missed the boat. I don’t know, who knows?

… that was a recognition that I could actually study. I still think deep down I have this feeling that I’m not very bright so it always buffers up against that. That was a recognition that … my hard work I suppose had paid off … perhaps who I am is different to how I perceive myself.

I’m proud of myself that I’ve been able to change my career at such a late stage in life and I guess I’ve learnt how determined I can be if I need to be and if I say I’m going to do something, I’ll do it.

Family and personal background

Marie has a European background:

Her mother:

However, Marie’s mother’s views were progressive in a ‘whole lot of ways’:

Nevertheless, as a child, Marie’s ambitions did not include university:

As she grew up, Marie’s behaviour and the family dynamics were influenced by her older sister, ‘who was very rebellious and caused a lot of problems within the home’:

Her mother had ‘desperately wanted’ her sister to go to university:

Another major impact on her was her mother’s return to work when Marie was 14. This occurred because her father ‘kept getting retrenched’, although he was an engineer (‘an educated man’). Her mother did not arrive home until 6.30pm, leaving Marie to look after her brothers, cook dinner and do the washing, as well as her schoolwork. By this time, Marie’s sister had left the family home.

Marie began a commerce degree when she finished school because she did not know what to study and was influenced by a boyfriend who was studying in this area. She ‘hated every living, breathing minute’ of her course and got ‘very poor marks’, but enjoyed her social life:

This was a circle of friends that extended beyond university:

The other girls shared Marie’s feeling of alienation from ‘ “surfie” type boys … Aussie [Australian] type boys’ who thought ‘a beautiful girl is a girl with long blonde hair and blue eyes … and I just didn’t fit into that mould.’

Marie continued her family support role while at university:

When Marie completed her degree, her parents were ‘so pleased’:

In pursuing something she hated, Marie had taken on the attitudes of her mother and grandmother:

At this stage, ‘[e]njoying what I was doing’ would have meant success for Marie (‘I needed something that was just me’) but this was precluded by ‘my own lack of confidence in myself’, which was, in turn, affected by her role in the family. She felt that her mother was an obstacle to her freedom. Marie had a brief taste of liberty travelling overseas after finishing her degree, but when she was 24 her father died ‘and I just felt that I had to be there for [my mother]. I never felt free.’

Prior to her father’s death:

In the following years Marie married and had children. She ‘did some work that I enjoyed and some that I hated’. She worked in a government department for four years and ran a business with her husband for eleven and a half years, which she hated. Then, at 37, she became ill with lupus.

It developed into a very severe form of the disease:

Marie started on the drug a year before enrolling in her current degree. It stopped the progress of the disease, and enabled her to complete a community centre volunteer course. She ‘really enjoy[ed] this type of work’ and the experience brought her back to university. She was determined to make the most of this opportunity, ‘wish[ing] the penny had dropped earlier’:

She had ‘a fair bit of opposition’ to her enrolment from people she knew because of her age and her health problems:

However, her husband was very supportive, and although her mother was worried about Marie’s health, ‘she’s very happy that I’m doing it’.

Attending university was usual for the men in her family, with her father, brothers, and husband all university-educated. Marie was motivated to study because she wanted ‘a career that I’m proud of’, fulfilling a desire that had ‘been there forever!’ She also thought it important for her two children ‘to be proud of what I’m doing’. She tried to convey to her children the value of pride in what one does:

Marie acknowledged that her illness had reinforced this point of view:

Her enrolment removed some of the stress on her family (‘[a]nd now, seeing me well, they’re all thrilled. And it’s great’):

Educational experiences

Marie started primary school (in Australia) at a Catholic school. She couldn’t speak English and found it very difficult:

Marie had ‘a real need to fit in’. She had ‘learnt some socialisation skills’ and ‘had this sort of outgoing personality’ with the result that ‘I was very happy at [this particular] primary school.’

However, she did not enjoy secondary school:

Marie’s secondary school experiences were also influenced by the pressures she was under at home:

It was at this point that Marie enrolled to study commerce, influenced by her boyfriend. Although she had the support of her friends, Marie had no role models to give her direction while she was at university.

Now, many years later, with the drugs controlling her disease and motivated by working at the community centre, she found the direction that was missing earlier:

Marie was accepted on the basis of her commerce degree, her voluntary work, and the selection interview (‘I begged him!’).

Planning

To prepare for study Marie needed to:

Managing

Marie was initially challenged, but was glad that she had enrolled:

Coping with the computer was a major challenge:

This impacted considerably on her study:

Marie also had problems with the demands of academic writing:

She felt that academic expectations had changed since she completed her first degree. In one of her recent essays she ‘just got a pass’ and the comment was ‘A really good essay’ but she felt aggrieved that she was penalised for grammatical errors and incorrect referencing.

Marie had other academic problems as well:

To assist her, Marie bought materials prepared for the off-campus students, and found these to be ‘full of really good tips’ and ‘excellent sources of reading material’. They included journal articles which saved her from having to ‘go and find them’ and the materials provided a source for checking if she missed something in the lectures.

Having established her study space (in a room shared with her children), Marie then had to manage the shared use of the computer (‘I allowed my son to play his games on my computer and then my computer crashed’). She resolved the issue by putting a password on the computer, removing the games, and ‘turn[ing] it off at the end of every night’. Her son was ‘very upset’:

Marie also had to cope with her daughter’s needs:

Marie did not resolve this during the first year of her study: ‘I think that there’s a great deal of bitterness that she feels towards me.’ Meanwhile her husband was retrenched and ‘spent six months at home’. While this challenged the family, it also meant he could provide some support for their daughter.

However, additional stress followed:

Marie’s ageing mother, who lived in a unit behind her house, was another demand on her time:

Marie also had to manage running a home and family:

While studying, Marie continued her voluntary work, once a week, which involved ‘giving out food vouchers and food and also suport materials and doing some advocacy work’. However, she allowed some time for herself: ‘I go to the gym four times a week. I try very hard to keep Saturday free.’

Marie’s husband’s retrenchment and departure to work overseas was a significant challenge during her first year, along with the re-emergence of her illness:

When this happened, just before her first placement, it was one of only two occasions when Marie thought about giving up:

Marie decided to defer her placement because she thought, ‘I will go insane.’ Fortunately, her husband was still at home ‘so he was driving me round to all these different doctors’. She wanted to try and finish her assignments:

She continued with the course but, to add to her difficulties, a few months later she had a ‘massive internal bleed’:

Marie was hospitalised for about five days and returned home ‘exhausted’. She had been in the midst of preparing three assignments, all of which she completed on time. She was amused that, by mistake, she handed in a draft of one assignment, rather than the final version:

Marie received Distinctions for the other two assignments but only a Credit overall: ‘I thought I must have done badly on that last assignment. I couldn’t figure it out.’ When she worked out what had happened, ‘I was just shocked. But I laughed. At least I’d passed. I was very, very lucky.’

Marie completed her deferred placement at the end of the year. This was the second time she thought she was ‘close to giving up’:

While on her placement, Marie decided to change from full-time to part-time study, feeling ‘physically, totally exhausted’. She thought:

Marie also thought that this would help her change her approach to her study:

She would sometimes panic about the work to be done, but began to feel the benefit of part-time study.

Despite the challenges of her first year, Marie also highlighted the positive aspects:

She thought she was able to rise above the difficulties because:

Marie felt that she had ‘flown by the seat of my pants a lot of the time’, but also felt a sense of accomplishment:

She was also pleased that, since her last medical emergency:

Support

Marie’s best forms of support during her study were her lecturers, one in particular, but especially her family. Initially her husband had been ‘very supportive’, helping her with the computer, ‘because I’ve always looked at a computer as an enemy’.

She lost this support when her husband moved overseas for work, and later their marriage broke down. These challenges helped her to develop her own inner strength:

Although she lost the support of her husband, her mother played a major role:

Marie was also supported by her children and her girlfriend:

As well as being a major impetus for enrolling in the course, Marie’s volunteer work also supported her:

At university Marie was particularly grateful for the help of one staff member who ‘was really supportive when I was having problems with my essays’:

Although she suffered from a severe illness, Marie did not seek or receive support from the university’s services such as the Disability Liaison Unit. However, she did seek counselling outside the university to help her after her negative experiences on her first placement. She thought that more university support should be available, both generally, and at departmental level:

Consequently, Marie felt that the course should be reviewed. Although she acknowledged that there may not be funding for more tutorials, she thought that this assistance would help, for example, to provide for discussion on assignments and better engagement with students:

She also felt that more tutorials would improve preparation for the workplace:

In addition, Marie suggested the provision of ‘modules where you can specialise’, because the course was ‘a little bit too generic’. This would need to be on an elective basis given the heavy course requirements.

… I already had a degree but I never really enjoyed essays or learning or anything like that. I was always lazy. I did the minimum …

[It was] just something that I had to do to get by, to get through … I didn’t have the inquisitive mind. I just wanted to go out and have fun … I just thought … [learning] was something other people told me that I had to learn just to get by, to get a job. It wasn’t something that I initiated myself…

It was because I really wanted to do the course that I was very motivated to do it and I think it was such a shock to my system. I was so overwhelmed by the workload … it was just like, ‘I have to get through this because this is my aim’, so I was very directed …

I noticed that my learning curve just went through the roof … and I remember thinking, ‘There’s so much to learn in this topic area’ and I had a lot to contribute in class … and everything I said made sense. I remember thinking … ‘I’m a person of value.’

I think it was gradual. I think I started to understand the referencing system … how to write an essay. I started to understand what was required to be a university student. Before I didn’t understand, I was just groping in the dark. By the end of the first year I knew what was required and I felt like I was on top of everything … I was actually pretty vocal all the time because I had a really good tutor. It was more towards the end of the year I became more succinct and more eloquent in what I had to say and more aware. I remember I started to read the papers a lot more and I was more aware of what was going on … so it was a real consciousness raising.

I was able to reflect more on subject matter. I was able to enjoy the learning a lot more and I was able to motivate myself to research the topic a lot more rather than just quickly [studying it] … it was a better year because I was doing fewer subjects so I got much better marks and so I was able to spend a lot longer on each unit so my research skills became a lot better and I think that I was a lot more relaxed about learning … I think that that made a big difference to my life. I could incorporate family and life a lot better …

I was able to use my skills in my volunteer work, which I thought was really good … Some of my counselling skills I experimented with on some of my clients in my volunteer work. I was integrating my knowledge with practice a little bit more. That became a lot more useful. What I was learning took on some relevancy rather than just being theoretical and also I started to think about where I wanted to go as a career and where my passions were.

… and I think that uni just took a second place. I think that it was just hand in the assignments and attend to what was happening on the marriage front and that was really hard … I think that what kept me going was the fact that I was at uni and it was … a positive distraction and the fact that I had a placement and it gave me direction … it sounds weird to say that because a lot of people would have just chucked the whole thing in but I thought, ‘No, this is something that’s going to give me … a career and it’s going to give me something to go towards otherwise I will end up in a heap.’ So it was a good thing to actually persevere with the course because there were times when I thought, ‘I just can’t do this, it’s all too traumatic.’

My son dropped out of uni … he had half a semester left of his music degree and he’s just kind of doing nothing and my daughter is pretty shattered by the whole thing, so there’s a lot of grief and loss issues there for her as well as me.

I was a very anxious learner. I’m not such an anxious learner [now] and I don’t underrate myself so much. I used to really underrate myself terribly, which was a real problem. I used to think I was very inadequate. I don’t feel I’m so inadequate anymore. That was a really good thing.

I was just thrown in at the deep end … and I didn’t have much supervision at all … and I thought, ‘Well it’s like sink or swim. I had a really crappy placement the first one … I really need this one to be good … I just have to grit my teeth and do what is required,’ and … I did a really good job, so I said to myself, ‘Fat yourself on the back’ … Can you use the word, ‘cathartic’? … because I recognised in myself I can do things without panicking and I can be regarded as a competent person and that’s how I really want to be regarded … I’ve always thought of myself as incompetent.

I learnt that I’m OK … I’m not a fool. I’m not the brightest person in the universe but I have a lot to share with the world.

I can’t think about that. For me it’s one step at a time. My future is just stability and work, making sure that my children … especially my youngest child, feels loved and safe … and making sure that I create a stable environment and a happy environment and just making sure that I take care of myself and that I enjoy my life.

I didn’t enjoy all the study and the essay writing. I found it difficult and I’m glad it’s over and I’m glad I can pick up a book and read it and enjoy it. I’m not really a person that likes to study all that much. It hasn’t really spurred me on to further study, only if it’s easy. I don’t want to do anything really hard … I’m tired. The steps have been big enough … I just hope that in a year’s time I can look back and say … ‘Oh well, I’m enjoying my life and I feel safe and happy’ … I’m not looking for anything else.

Family background

Harriet grew up in a migrant family in a ‘very working-class … netball-playing, football-playing kind of town’. Her mother was a nurse and her father a truck driver. Her brother is two years older than her. Her mother migrated from Scotland when she was a child and her father from England when he was 21: ‘we were Anglos but migrants, and experiencing racism.’

Harriet was not the first person in her family to go to university. Her brother completed a business degree, but his experiences as a student did not influence her. She had educational support during her childhood: her parents paid for her to attend a private secondary school. However, she felt she lacked guidance and encouragement:

Her brother had a learning difficulty, so her parents spent a lot of time on him. The only expectation was that she would complete high school, including mathematics. Her father’s feelings of inferiority about educational matters contributed to this expectation:

Educational experiences

Harriet was a good student. Her years at primary school were happy – almost idyllic:

Harriet thrived in this environment:

Her parents were supportive to some extent: ‘I did very well through primary school and they did acknowledge that.’ However, their responses to her successes were limited:

During primary school Harriet showed talent for art and drama, but this, too, was not remarked upon or encouraged by her parents. She felt that they were disengaged in some way, perhaps because she was doing well academically or because her brother’s learning difficulty was the focus of concern. Her brother had a very hard time at primary school where he was bullied by other boys and also by teachers. Harriet took on the role of his support person, standing by him when things were difficult. Class was a factor, too – her brother did not like the working-class, sports-loving environment they grew up in. With her parents’ attention focused on her brother and his learning difficulty, Harriet was left to her own devices.

The first thing she can remember wanting to be was a hairdresser:

Harriet’s other early ambition was to be a housewife, which she thought was a reaction to her mother working full-time as a nurse. This made her unusual among her peers:

Harriet’s educational experiences changed when she moved to secondary school. She chose to go to a secondary school in her local area because her friends were going there:

The teaching of subjects in which Harriet performed well was not of a high standard. One of the teachers told her mother that Harriet was ‘real good at English’. This prompted her mother to move her to a private school in a more affluent area.

Harriet’s feelings about school changed when she moved to her new school. She felt ‘some sort of class difference and financial status difference between myself and the other kids’. She had gone from ‘being a big fish in a small pond to what I perceived as being a small fish’.

Connecting with friends in her local area was important to Harriet and this stopped when she ‘got into quite a bit of trouble’ at the end of her first year of private secondary school and her parents ‘decided to cut me off from all of my friends in my local area’. She had become withdrawn at the new school because she felt ‘really intimidated’ about where she came from and after this her feelings of withdrawal continued for the rest of her time at high school.

Locally, Harriet suffered from being called a ‘snob’ because she was enrolled at a private school. However, she did make some good school friends and enjoyed the academic work at which she did very well, but she ‘didn’t get as much out of it as I could have’. Although she was still receiving A’s and B’s for her schoolwork, Harriet felt she should have taken advantage of the music lessons and drama productions that the school offered, but she was too afraid to become involved.

Harriet’s fear extended to feeling uncomfortable with success:

Attending a 20-year school reunion and meeting other women who had been in the second year of high school with her caused Harriet to reflect on the way gender issues affected her and her female classmates:

This had a dramatic effect – she lost her voice:

One of the ‘very bright’ female students did stand up to the boys and appeared to do so successfully, but she developed anorexia. Harriet connected the two things: ‘they managed to get to her too’.

Other negative factors played a part in Harriet’s secondary school experiences. When she was in the penultimate year of high school:

Then, in her final year, she made some poor subject choices, and at about that time she overheard her parents talking about divorce:

As a result, Harriet did not do as well as she might have in her final year. She was very disappointed, particularly with her English results.

At this time Harriet was not sure what she wanted to do when she left school. Looking back she felt she lacked good careers advice at home and from teachers at school, and good role models. Although her final year English teacher ‘ended up being a role model’:

Because she loved writing, Harriet thought of becoming a journalist, but her English teacher did not support this idea. She also had thoughts of becoming a doctor, which were not realistic because of the subjects she had chosen. In hindsight, she thought that she was interested in social work even then.

Harriet’s first awareness of social work came when her mother, who worked as a nurse in the community, had social workers in her team:

After she completed high school Harriet went overseas for a year on a work exchange scheme. But she found it difficult that her friends had moved on to university while she was away – ‘[s]o I kind of missed the boat with all of that’.

Although her brother had been to university Harriet had no knowledge of its practices or its language. She found applying for a place very confusing:

Harriet enrolled because she felt it was expected (‘I think probably the expectations of the school really’). She enrolled in an arts degree and began studying philosophy, art history, English and Italian. She dropped out early and began to work as a picture framer, which she enjoyed much more.

It was Harriet’s father who finally set her on the path to a degree that she completed. He found an advertisement for a fine arts course offered in part-time mode. She enrolled and then converted to full-time. She did well in first year and again felt uncomfortable with the notice that success brought. She decided to accept a part-time job, which took her away from the course and the time she needed to spend on course tasks.

At the time that it appeared she might fail, she was sexually harassed by one of the lecturers. When Harriet was called in to discuss her academic progress, the head of department suggested she take a summer course with that lecturer. She was distressed that she was not able to do anything about the lecturer’s behaviour. She did finish the course but felt the injustice of this situation very keenly and regretted that she had not reported him. Its impact continued to have an effect on her:

Some time later Harriet enrolled in a Graduate Diploma in Psychology but that was interrupted by crises in her family. She deferred the course when her mother had an accident but, in retrospect, realised that she ‘had already started to feel like it wasn’t what I really wanted to do’. She was ‘looking for a framework that I felt fitted me’ and ‘[d]idn’t find it there, but have very much found it in social work’.

Planning

Harriet did not need to make many changes in her life to engage in the course. She had adjusted to study when she had started her previous course, and was not in the paid workforce:

While there was little effect on her daily routine, enrolment involved some psychological preparation:

Harriet made a plan (on the back of an envelope) for the next couple of years. This involved working out what she wanted, and where she wanted the course to take her.

Managing

Previous jobs had satisfied the artistic side of Harriet’s nature. However, the practical nature of social work became important to her as the course progressed and motivated her to continue with her studies even in difficult times:

Harriet was successful in her first year, was offered a job by the organisation at which she had completed her first professional placement, and was asked to interview for a second position. Her academic success also provided her with a pathway into studying at Honours level. While this was motivating, it presented a challenge in terms of making sure she was not taking on too much. She changed from a full-time load to part-time to accommodate the increased workload. Having a room of her own, a space where she could lock herself away and concentrate on her studies was very important:

She was happy with her choice of course and looked forward to using her writing skills in the required research component.

Support

Except for attending some library workshops on how to use EndNote [bibliography software], Harriet did not use any of the university’s student support services. She was supported by an equity bursary in her Honours year. She had not known these existed until one of her lecturers suggested she apply. In this way she received the financial support she needed to continue with the course. Just as important in Harriet’s estimation was the sense of validation the bursary brought with it:

Being supported to push herself was very important for Harriet who commented that, in the past, she did not know what it was like to push herself: ‘I had no interest in competition, even with myself, I suppose.’ She was very supported by the mentoring and career advice her supervisor provided and by ‘the support of all of the lecturers’. In addition:

Once she became immersed in her studies, Harriet found she did not receive much support from friends among the mothers at her daughter’s school, but she met new friends with similar interests during her placements.

Harriet identified the way the course was designed and taught as a key source of academic and social support. Early online subjects were broken down into what she called ‘small achievable chunks’ and the students received feedback on their work very early in the course. Getting marks early helped to build her confidence:

This motivated her to succeed even more:

Harriet considered that the way the on-campus learning component of her course was conducted in small group settings was crucial in allowing her to find her voice, to have enough confidence to speak out and offer an opinion:

The curriculum design facilitated social connections too:

… part of what has helped me to be more organised is a lack of anxiety… the calm and confidence to sort of think, ‘It’s going to be OK. I’ll be fine.’

… we’ve made huge sacrifices, we’ve scraped through on nothing financially for the last four years, we’ve always been poor but we’ve gotten really close to the bone in the last four years …

… the other thing that’s been incredibly powerful about this course is that I have found my path in a huge way. The whole course has just been transforming for me, astonishing and transforming… My voice was taken away in so many settings through so many experiences in my life.

… it’s a really lovely thing that the course has done for me, so many things, I’ve gained so much. Even if … I wasn’t to have a qualification out of this, if I wasn’t to have new opportunities opening for me in research and academia, it would have just been a wonderful self- development course, a wonderful experience, because it’s just brought me to a place in my life where I feel like I can do anything really … And I have a lot of people to thank for that journey