Family background

Alex Carole grew up in Durban. Her parents separated when she was young but she stayed in touch with her father. She was also in contact with her paternal grandparents, aunties, and uncles. The house she grew up in contained four generations from her mother’s side of the family: her great–grandmother, her grandfather (who was ‘my whole world’), her mother (who was an only child), and Alex Carole and her younger sister.

Alex Carole always wanted to be a nurse:

Alex Carole described growing up under apartheid:

When she finished high school Alex Carole enrolled in nursing at a teaching hospital in Cape Town, despite her grandfather’s resistance (‘my baby’s not going away from me’), and then six weeks later he died. He had encouraged her mother to leave South Africa with her children to escape apartheid and after his death the family migrated to Australia. Alex Carole enquired about a nursing career in Australia but was told that she needed to ‘go back’ and complete the final year of high school:

Alex Carole felt that she had to continue to work and help her mother support her younger sister who was still at school. She then worked at a department store for three and a half years, obtaining her driver’s licence, marrying, and having a baby: ‘[going] back to work in the retail sector’ when her son was 18 months old. She did not consider further education over that period:

Later, Alex Carole married again: ‘I have a very good husband now.’ Her husband is an engineer, with a university degree. She has two sons, one in his thirties and the other of school age.

Educational experiences

Alex Carole completed secondary school but regarded herself as ‘an average student’:

The most important event in Alex Carole’s decision to return to study resulted from managing a significant health problem 25 years after migrating to Australia:

Alex Carole was helped by hospital social workers, not only with money for parking, but also in clarifying how she would cope after her surgery. Following this experience:

She applied to enter university and was offered a place in a social science degree. This was not her main area of interest but ‘I just saw it as an opportunity to turn my life around and here I am!’ Alex Carole completed two years of social science at a major metropolitan university, gaining admission with her South African high school certificate, an essay, and personal references from two people who could vouch that she was who she said she was.

She commented on commencing the social science degree:

Despite the discomfort of sitting among ‘all these students [who] are old enough to be my kids’, her ability to ‘stick at it’ was particularly evident because:

After two years Alex Carole applied for and was accepted into her current undergraduate course at another university, studying in off–campus mode because she moved to Malaysia with her husband while he worked there. In Malaysia, Alex Carole worked as a volunteer at an orphanage where she experienced a strong sense of wanting to help the orphaned children to achieve their potential. She felt passionate about her new course and ready to make a difference in the lives of others.

Planning

Alex Carole described herself as ‘a big planner’: ‘I like to know what I’m doing, when I’m doing it and how I’m going to do it.’ Consequently, when she received her course materials, her response was to ‘get up and go through my book and I highlighted all my assignment dates so that I knew when they were due’. She then planned which parts of the course requirements she was going to address first.

Managing

Alex Carole allowed a number of hours ‘per subject per week’ and then tried to ‘stick to it’. She was unable to work in Malaysia and so studied most days, relying on access to broadband internet:

When she returned to Australia, Alex Carole did not have a separate room for study in her home, but used a corner of the lounge. When her husband and younger son were at home on weekends, she would take her laptop computer and books and study in the local library.

Alex Carole completed the first field placement for her course after she returned to Australia. She found organising the placement challenging, both in terms of practicalities (getting there) and the emotionally challenging work she was required to undertake. One of her clients, an elderly man, died and Alex Carole attended the funeral. She questioned whether she could have intervened differently, but was supported by her field teacher:

Alex Carole found her field placement to be an important aspect of her learning. At the completion of the placement she was offered employment for two days a week at the agency and continued to work there.

She felt satisfied with how she had managed the demands of moving to Malaysia and back while studying and then completing the field placement:

However, Alex Carole did not complete the course without difficulty. She failed a compulsory research subject twice, and she struggled to understand why this had occurred. She then investigated alternative ways of completing the subject, and found a similar subject at another, regional university:

During this time Alex Carole had to manage a number of family issues. There was a court order from her ex–husband opposing her intention to travel overseas with her younger son. At the same time her father died in South Africa. By this time, though, she had learnt enough about how universities work to know there were alternative ways she might meet the research unit requirements of her degree. Her proposal to complete an alternative subject was accepted and she allocated a full day once a week to travel to the university to attend and complete it.

Support

Alex Carole’s husband and older son supported her decision to study. Her husband worked with her in sharing responsibilities, including the household chores:

Alex Carole did not use any of the support services provided by the university but she was supported by the online group that she belonged to as a requirement for one subject. In this space, she discussed issues that came up in relation to study and assignments:

She did telephone the university’s online help desk a few times ‘because there were some technical problems with the [subject] site’.

For Alex Carole, the friends she made among her fellow students, her husband who would proof read her work, and the flexibility provided by her work (obtained via her first placement) were the best supports of her learning.

The role plays … [were critical for] building my confidence … Gave me the confidence to believe in myself. In first year I started to look at things from different perspectives. Before that I had a social conscience but went about my business. Things didn’t worry me – as a family we would give to the Red Cross or Salvation Army but I started to feel more strongly about issues. Like affordable housing – that everyone should have access to a decent home. I’ve grown in more than one way, not just self-esteem and confidence but in my sense of social justice.

First placement was so significant – it was everything, the people, the clients – older people and so many different groups. Living in Malaysia for 18 months as well, I became more aware of disadvantage and society and I am so grateful to live in this country, but we still don’t look after our disadvantaged groups enough.

I was aware of my abilities and limitations. Even today I know and accept that I am a good worker and can accept criticism as a learning process and not take it too personal or too serious … I’d grown as a person. Had high expectations of myself that I didn’t have to that degree at the start. It was failing [a subject] – and all the self-talk − I disappointed me … The self–talk: ‘I didn’t pass it, get over it, and move on.’ If my confidence hadn’t grown over the first 12 months I would have thought, ‘Just drop out.’ But I wasn’t going to. Work was really great. I worked Monday to Thursday and had Friday off. When I said I had to go to [the regional university each week] … they let me change the day. I enjoyed it – the drive was time for reflection. I’d think about what we learnt and then come home and sit at the computer and write it down. I could have applied myself more at [that university] but in the last couple of weeks, I didn’t need to – I just needed to pass the subject.

Doing the course has given me the skills to advocate on behalf of myself. I couldn’t do that before … [I] look back now and think, ‘Wow, you have come a long way, Alex Carole.’

Family and personal background

Virginia grew up with her parents, a brother who is ‘[a] year and a bit’ older, and a sister who is five years younger. She did not see the context of her upbringing as a white person in South Africa as ‘advantageous’, but as ‘terribly ordinary’. Her parents were just ‘bringing up children, earning a living’.

While she was at high school she became aware of her father’s alcoholism:

Virginia’s mother was one of seven children, none of whom went to university. Her mother married again but no one in the family of her second husband had been to university either. Virginia felt that going to university was seen as ‘what other people do’ because ‘[w]e’re not smart enough’, although meeting people who were taking degrees led her to recognise that ‘if they can do it, I know I can, too’.

Virginia did not think that her father had any expectations of her when she was young (‘he was too wrapped up in his own things I suppose’). She considered that her parents’ expectations of her were different from their expectations of her brother:

Virginia’s brother ‘went on to become a chartered accountant – he’s had a very successful career’, while her younger sister was ‘very much like my mother’ and became a housewife. Although Virginia did not have any particular support when she was young to encourage her in the direction of higher education, her brother was ‘[a]bsolutely’ a role model. He completed a correspondence degree after leaving school: ‘I often think I should have been more like him … a little bit more focused possibly.’

Virginia’s husband became a role model and key source of support. He came from a ‘traditional’ nuclear family and was university educated. Reflecting on this, she commented:

Virginia’s mother-in-law is an occupational therapist and her father-in- law, an engineer. Virginia did not think that they went to university in England (‘it was that sort of technical education’) but her husband’s sister had been to university, as had various other family members: ‘I’ve got cousins who are lawyers – one’s a doctor – spread all over the world’, so university education ‘certainly wasn’t out of my consciousness’.

However, as she was growing up, Virginia’s most influential role models were people who had not entered higher education through traditional pathways, from a position of middle class comfort:

Virginia regarded these people as probably more successful because ‘you know more about life – and you know more about who you are and what you want.’

Virginia had had a sense of social justice from an early age, though she did not think of this in terms of a potential profession when she was a child:

This sense of social justice continued as she grew up, partly because of the South African context, but also because of her own emerging social consciousness. In the mid-eighties, when apartheid ‘was just coming apart at the seams, and everybody had an opinion’, Virginia, then aged 17 or 18, became very involved in left-wing politics, ‘which caused a lot of friction with family and friends’. She was never afraid to express her feelings, in contrast to her brother who would ‘just keep quiet about it’. As she grew older she became increasingly aware of the barriers that black people faced.

Virginia wanted to go to university when she finished high school, and was accepted, ‘[b]ut there was no money’:

Consequently, she started work, ‘[a]lways intending to study’. She did not know what she wanted to study, although her social justice leanings continued to influence her and she considered political studies. She worked for a blood transfusion service that ‘trained us as medical technologists’:

Virginia then ‘backpacked around the world for a year and a half’ before she married.

Educational experiences

Virginia ‘wasn’t a great achiever’ in primary school (‘[m]ost of my school teachers would be amazed that I’m here’). She ‘didn’t make the most of’ primary school but she had a lot of fun. She was not aware of barriers to her achievement at the time, although problems relating to her father’s alcoholism ‘would have been there’. Virginia was happy at school and had good friends.

Although she recognised that the education system was ‘for the most part … superior for white children’, Virginia considered that it was ‘no more so than in an average Australian government school’ and that ‘[y]ou work hard at school … you get what you pay for’. She did not feel that being a white person provided advantages ‘for the most part’.

Virginia compared the maturity of her children with her own level of maturity as a child. Noting the maturity of her older daughter, she thought ‘if only I could have been like that at your age’, but her experiences had taught her that her son, who is less mature, will ‘find his way … and probably do well at the end of it’. Virginia saw her son as being similar to her when she was young:

Virginia’s immaturity at school, in contrast to her brother, who ‘was the model student’, continued for the first few years of high school. She changed when her mother told her that unless she took her schooling seriously she would fail and then her friends would be a year above her; they would be ‘going to their formals before you’. Virginia reluctantly complied thinking, ‘What on earth is the point of this?’ However, her mother had picked on the one point that had an effect on her: ‘I could just think of them all getting dressed up … these were girls I’d grown up with and it was a real shame to stay down.’ As a consequence of this intervention, Virginia came second in the class: ‘the light switched on and the penny dropped’ and she realised, ‘Oh, I can do this!’ People’s expectations of her then changed, and Virginia ‘moved up’ to meet their new expectations.

Nevertheless, Virginia ‘hated’ high school, probably because ‘a lot of stuff was going on at home, as well’. In addition, she was not encouraged by her teachers. Virginia remembered asking her final year English teacher whether she thought she could do English at university. The teacher said, ‘No … you’re not up there.’ Virginia’s mental response was ‘Stuff you!’ Virginia remained conscious of the influence teachers have through labelling students, relating this to the harm that can be done by prematurely dividing children into ‘the university ones’ and the others, when the children who are ‘talking in the back are OK but they’re bored or naughty’. However, she also felt that:

She also noted that South African education was ‘very much “this is what you must learn”’, with ‘no questions asked’. Virginia studied history in her final year at school, including apartheid, but the students were ‘not allowed to question it’. Thus, the approach to education did not support her understanding of what was happening in South Africa. It was a revelation when she first read about the 1957 Group Areas Act on the separation of black people from white people and she thought:

Despite her mother’s encouragement to improve at high school, she ‘really just wanted me to get a job’. This was partly because her mother did not have the funds to support her at university.

As she was unable to go to university when she finished school, Virginia began to study after her first child was born. She enrolled in a correspondence course at the University of South Africa, on the basis of her school qualifications: ‘I think I just always knew that I wanted to do it.’ At that time, Virginia’s brother was undertaking his degree, and circumstances in her own life made studying achievable.

Virginia did not quite finish this course: ‘I got two credits short’ and then ‘life [got] in the way of it’. She studied criminology, English, and psychology, before discovering she could study social work off–campus. She completed Social Work I and II, and did well. She changed to social work because she felt that ‘when you go to university, you really should train to be something’ based on her experience of working in recruitment for some years, and recognising the disadvantage of entering the workforce without a practical, vocational qualification. Looking back, Virginia presumed that she also realised that studying social work would help her to fulfil her social justice aspirations.

She was unable to continue due to the need to complete a practical component. Virginia had had a second child by this time, and ‘really needed to earn a living’:

Consequently, ‘it almost became too hard again’ and although she had a good media job she would sometimes think:

During this time the family emigrated to Ireland and then to Australia. When Virginia’s husband (an architect) was setting up a business in Australia, she was able to consider higher education again as her youngest child had started school. She thought:

Virginia was accepted into her current course on the basis of her studies in South Africa. She had previously investigated finishing her degree while in Ireland, but was deterred by red tape, and because ‘they wanted you to have done your majors at that university’. As she embarked on the course, Virginia commented that, financially, it would be ‘a bit of a struggle’, but she was ‘glad to be here’. However, she recognised that:

Virginia commented on the advantages of off–campus study in her situation, ‘because you’re not restricted by time’ and ‘you can fit it around things so much better!’ If a child is sick and unable to go to school, or needs to be taken to a doctor, study can take place ‘at two o’clock in the morning’, if necessary. Virginia also valued the Australian system of deferred fee payment because it means that anybody can go to university if they want to, which is not possible in South Africa.

Planning

For Virginia, ceasing paid employment was an important aspect of planning for study. She knew that she ‘could have a few months of not working and I didn’t know how that was going to go’, so she had a ‘little contingency’ plan whereby she could reduce her study to part-time if she had to return to work. However, Virginia’s husband won a big contract, which provided her with the financial freedom to focus on her studies. Although he worked a 60-hour week, which ‘gets a bit stressful’, this allowed Virginia to continue.

Managing

Virginia studied, on average, for about 30 hours per week. When she returned from taking the children to school, she made some coffee and then went to the computer: ‘I take a break at half past ten, read the paper for 20 minutes, go back’ to study until about 2.00pm. Hence, Virginia’s study day ‘pretty much’ replaced her work day. Once the children came home from school, she could devote time to them and to the household chores.

Virginia was flexible enough to accommodate variable demands on her study time. In busier weeks, she studied at nights as well, once the children were in bed. She did this a ‘fair bit’, starting at about 9.00pm:

Virginia tried not to study at weekends but this depended on ‘where I was in terms of assignment dates’. There were times when she and her husband were ‘like ships passing in the night’, and also times when her plans to study were disrupted. Her flexibility and commitment to her study allowed Virginia to accommodate those times, and other major interruptions, including a six-week visit from her South African in-laws: ‘I had to, without being rude, say, “I’m going into the study”.’ She commented that, ‘It sounds like I was … organised, but I wasn’t all the time.’ Nevertheless, she handled time management ‘quite well’, because she ‘had to do it’.

Virginia found her first field placement to be ‘fantastic’, which helped her deal with the small doubt she had had about it: ‘What if I’m doing all this and I get there and I think, “‘I don’t want to do this?”’ This placement was a valuable source of support and a change from the isolation of study. It was different from her previous corporate work environments, and contributed to her successful study experience:

There were other differences in this community development work environment:

Virginia’s previous work experience and ‘dormant’ organisational skills contributed to her successful placement:

Virginia benefited from communication with her student peer group, but commented on one of the limitations of distance education:

Virginia was offered a place in the Honours program, which was a high point at the end of her first year, but owing to the lack of opportunity to measure her achievement against her peers, she wasn’t prepared for it:

It would have been difficult for Virginia to continue her paid work, given the placement requirements. Not having to do paid work offered other benefits in that her husband and she could share responsibilities, and ‘it actually works for both of us’. They were able to work around the ‘odd occasions’ when rearrangements needed to be made, for example, to allow Virginia’s attendance at residential workshops. These arrangements were supported by her husband, which Virginia illustrated with reference to his response to ‘a few jobs that came up in placement’:

Virginia managed the demands on her time from her husband, his business, their three children, her mother, and other family and friends, by putting ‘some things on hold’ and making sure that people understood the new demands on her time. Other things that Virginia put on hold included sewing, which she loved, but she knew she could ‘come back to that’. Virginia’s mother was on her own and asked Virginia to come around ‘fairly frequently’, but she also provided support. Although people told Virginia, ‘You need to take care of yourself. You need to do things for yourself,’ which made her think, ‘I really don’t have a very balanced life,’ she realised that she was ‘doing this for me’.

Study involved constant juggling but ‘life carries on’. Virginia and her husband bought a house during her first year of study. They ‘moved at a fairly inopportune moment but you just work around it’. She recognised that she must be a good manager and others acknowledged this, even though ‘it doesn’t feel like it at the time’. As Virginia had ‘always worked … even when it’s been in a part-time role’, she was ‘quite organised’ about managing household tasks and meeting the children’s needs, so her aim was to continue this while studying:

Virginia found managing these responsibilities easier than when she was working. Although she and her husband had always done whatever was necessary to attend school plays and functions, now, when parents were asked to ‘come to school at nine o’clock for five minutes worth of a song that they’ve practised’, she could do it easily, because she was just ‘up the road’, whereas ‘when you’re working maybe half an hour away, it’s a huge commitment to make, just for that five minutes.’

For Virginia, personal commitment was a major factor in successful study:

Occasionally, Virginia went to lunch with friends, but the things she gave up did not bother her, even though there were times when she thought, ‘Oh! It’d be nice to get out of my study’ because ‘[h]ome and study just becomes your world totally’.

Virginia emphasised the importance of a stable life context as a factor in successful study, compared to:

Although Virginia managed her study successfully, ‘[t]here were times that I thought, “What am I studying family therapy for? We need a bit of it ourselves!”’ There was a ‘little bit of clashing of stress levels’ and an attitude of ‘you think your study is more important than mine’ from her elder daughter, who was studying for her school exams: ‘There were some nights where we were queued up at the computer.’

Competition for the computer extended to children wanting to check their emails, with the result that a management strategy was needed:

In addition to the children’s demands, ‘my husband would come home from work and want to do his business accounts on the computer.’ Competition escalated when Virginia’s five-year-old daughter also wanted her turn: ‘she’s over-reacting – she says “I want to use the internet!” And she doesn’t even know what it is!’

The problem occurred because Virginia used the home computer when she was studying:

The week the family moved house was when all the ‘big’ assignments were due:

Virginia dismissed the challenges to her study, as just the ‘usual life things’, explaining there were no major hindrances to her study. She never thought seriously about discontinuing:

She was particularly upset because this was an ‘opinion piece’, but she learnt from the experience, placing it into a broader perspective:

This experience had an important impact on her subsequent study:

Support

Virginia’s husband and children were her main sources of support, despite the impact of her studies on the household. As she embarked on her final year, she commented that she thought her husband was ‘taking a deep breath … and so are my children!’, but she added that:

At the end of the course she contrasted her husband’s support with the experience of a fellow student:

Virginia’s mother was also a source of support, even though Virginia felt her mother could not relate to what she was doing:

Having seen her brother as a role model, Virginia noted that ‘interestingly, he’s probably the least interested in what I’m doing.’ This did not bother her because ‘we’re past that’, but she would have appreciated recognition from him. When she was offered a place in the Honours program, ‘it didn’t even register on his radar … But it was Wow!’ for Virginia.

One of the aspects of studying that she found ‘hugely supportive’, was being part of a student group and being able to email other students because ‘[a]s much as your partner and children may be supportive and praise you – you can’t really discuss this with them’:

Virginia did not feel the need to access any university student support services, but she contacted course staff when necessary. When she failed the assignment, she contacted the relevant staff member, who said, ‘Virginia, you’ll be OK!’ She contacted staff members by email and ‘most of them email you straight back … most of the time the lecturers have been very good.’ She thought that ‘the one thing’ that could have been improved, to provide better support, was feedback:

She appreciated the general feedback a lecturer sent out to everyone in one of her first research assignments but ‘I think she was the only one that did it.’ Just as lecturers’ approaches to feedback varied, so did the timeline within which the feedback was returned to students:

She referred again to the assignment that she failed, to emphasise the importance of feedback:

Virginia saw this as particularly important for off-campus students, who do not have the opportunity to talk easily to the lecturer, and who ‘don’t want to be a pain’ by constantly phoning or emailing for assistance.

A key form of support, which made study possible, was the university funding system in Australia:

This allowed her to say to her husband, ‘this is how I can do it’, in contrast to South Africa where:

… possibly knowing that this was what I wanted to do and I had the opportunity to do it so I knew that if I didn’t finish it – this was a case of age happening and life circumstances … there wouldn’t bea second chance to do it … if I don’t do this now, I’m never going to finish it and then I’m going to be disappointed with myself.

I’m not very good at sitting and listening to lectures. The style of learning helped me I think … I’m better off with a book and doing it my way.

… there was … a sense of, ‘I hope I’m going to enjoy this because if I don’t then I’m doing the wrong thing.’ And I had the most fantastic placement and that for me was … ‘Yeah, this is where I’m supposed to be.’

… an affirmation that you are doing the right thing … particularly for someone older who decided to study again, and you don’t know if you’re doing the right thing, because you’re putting your family through things, a lot of things, so it’s got to be worth it for them and getting the Honours was sort of, ‘Well I can do this’ … that kept me going throughout the year.

… you’ve only got yourself and the people around you and you’re trying to think, ‘Hang on, was I doing something really dumb? Really, really dumb. Was it that pathetic an idea?’ So … it was like getting back on a horse again and saying, ‘Oh, yeah, I can do this.’

… I finished something that I didn’t think I was going to be able to, which is extremely motivating … I remember one particular morning, about four weeks before handing in the thesis, hanging out the washing and thinking, ‘I don’t actually have to do this … I could just chuck it in now, but no, keep going, you’re nearly there, just keep going. It’s only four weeks. In five weeks’ time you’ll regret this if you [pull out]’ … it was almost myself saying to myself that, ‘you’re doing this out of choice, still you have to do it. It’s something you have to do in life’ and it was sort of, ‘Do you really want to do this?’ ‘Yes.’

… they all said, ‘Oh we wouldn’t touch research, that scares us,’ and I thought, ‘Oh, OK.’ You don’t realise you’ve absorbed information and got some knowledge base that you just assume everybody else has … So all those sorts of things are quite empowering.

… they talked about this research subject and I thought, ‘Oh, my God, [in] my psychology degree that was my worst, the statistics’ … I thought this was going to be my downfall. And yet it was something I mastered, so that is again empowering.

The seed has been planted … I’m open enough and maybe it’s an age thing, I’m not prescriptive about what I want to do … I’m passionate about social justice issues but there’s not much paid employment in social justice issues …

A lot of refugee girls and guys have been sexually assaulted. So there’s lots of possibilities and … at the moment, just starting my career … I’m not very specific about where I want to go because I think doors will open and I’ll go to [some]where that I’m not expecting, probably because that tends to be what has happened so far.

… there’s many things one could research but if you’re not within an organisation, it would probably get quite difficult to get it published and for it to have any real impact … I don’t know what the future holds but certainly that’s what I would like to do … and then it would be nice to get paid to do it as well.

… mothers come from the dark ages as far as they are concerned … ‘You did school a hundred years ago and what do you know? It’s all so much harder now.’ They can’t run it by me anymore … ‘[I can tell them] I know how hard it is and you have to read the question and you have to read it properly’ and I think they listen to me.

… it’s something I always wanted to do and so having done it, it’s like a nice big tick next to something … And then when you do achieve something there’s that whole thing about more things become possible.

I’ve never given up, but I could’ve walked away from it and I chose not to, which has been good … but I did absolutely love every minute, well most minutes of it. And … I sort of feel like I took my own future into my own hands.

It’s incredible. Sometimes when I think back, it’s only just over two years ago that I started and being new to Australia, I didn’t know much about the welfare industry in this country at all … all those things that you absorb through osmosis … when I think to what I know now … [it has been a huge learning curve]. Huge, but it’s great.

And they all think I’m fantastic [professionally] and I think, ‘Wow, two years ago I would’ve just been a volunteer.’ That’s been empowering too … So just a little bit of experience I gained in my placements … [it] opened so many doors.

… I think undertaking a university degree … when you come from a background where … people have not gone to university and it’s something that is outside of their scope of knowledge and they’re really stepping outside the square by undertaking this … people appear to be confident all the time and they appear to be knowing what they’re doing but I don’t think most people are … I know a lot of people said to me, ‘ … you’ve always got it together, how do you do all this?’ You don’t see me at two o’clock in the morning. But I think that we don’t see other people in the same light and everyone is just doing their best I suppose.