Community Comfort
Why You Need a Writing Tribe, Even If You Think You Don’t
I have a friend who wants to write fiction. As in, the writing bug has bitten him and he’s fully infected. We recently attended a writing conference together. Sure, there was a lot of instruction, lots of insight into process, which my friend—who’s struggled with how to start—appreciated. But it was the stuff in between sessions, at the meals and in the bar at day’s end, that made the difference to him.
It was during those in-between times that my friend met and got acquainted with other writers at various stages of their journey. We spoke to dozens of every sort, from an eighteen-year-old newbie at her first conference (with her mom attending as a chaperone) to a veteran with more than forty published novels. My friend was able to see that none of us has the secret formula, that each of us has to find our own process, and that none of us ever perfects it—that writing is all about ongoing practice and refinement.
This, I believe, is what my friend needed to experience through others in order to accept and embrace an imperfect start. Interacting with a community of writers was the key to overcoming his inertia.
FEAST ON THE (SOMETIMES ELUSIVE) BENEFITS OF COMMUNITY
I’m guessing you have some idea of what might be gained by associating with other writers: critique and beta-reader feedback, maybe a mentor. These things are the meaty chunks in a hearty stew, both nourishing and rewarding. But community is more substantial than that. Community is the culmination of those in-between moments my friend experienced at the conference and more. Community is the stew’s broth—warming, flavorful, and sustaining.
In my years of talking to other writers about community, I’ve found that it’s difficult to describe the benefits reaped, not just because community manifests in such a personal way but because its rewards vary over time and by circumstance. In the hopes of shedding light on the elusive, we asked members of the Writer Unboxed Facebook Group to describe what community has meant to them. We received too many great replies to share them all, but hopefully a sampling will convey an appreciation for the multifaceted gem community can be.
I recently reached a panic moment, a feeling of all of it being too hard. When I reached out to my community, members rallied around me to offer sound advice and perspective until I saw clearly again what kind of writer I want to be. I see now that the right community is vital.
—Lana Billman
My writing groups validate me: My confidence crises are not unique, and I am not alone in working out the writing/life balance issues that many writers face. I’m not alone in my struggles or my triumphs. … [Community is] like a great engine to keep us moving toward the fulfillment of our dreams. Not to mention the emotional and mental benefits, the thrill of being able to show others the way.
—Lara McKusky
I love being able to “nerd out” about writerly things without seeing anyone’s eyes glaze over. It’s wonderful knowing I can … connect with someone more experienced. I can get direction from people I care about. Community is like a flashlight on a long, dark road.
—Risa Pedzewick
One of the things I enjoy about writing is being alone with my characters. But since I started connecting with other writers, I write more, I’m more humble, I’m more accountable, and I’m bolder in approaching agents and publishers. I’m more confident in my ability to say the words “I am a writer.” Some of my best moments come when I’m alone with writing, but a surprising amount come when I’m with my writing friends.
—Julie McCarroll Duffy
I can’t imagine going through this whole writing process without my online friends. My learning curve has been much quicker than it would have been otherwise, and it’s nice to have friends who can commiserate with me. I’m glad to know I’m not the only crazy writer in the world. We’re a special breed.
—Valerie P. Chandler
A community is the group of pilgrims with whom we travel, the ones who challenge us, who inspire us, who give us strength. They’re the ones who help us face our fears, the ones who give us reason to come back from the brink when we’re ready to throw in the towel. And after a while, the bonds formed are so strong that the community becomes something more. It becomes your tribe.
—Mike Swift
I didn’t believe I was a real writer or that I would be one. I was incredibly intimidated but thought if I was accepted as part of a group, I could learn and perhaps some magic would rub off on me. Through watching my inky cohorts, I grew and found a little courage. I flopped more than a few times, but I had a safety net. My tribe. They met me where I was with compassion, jokes, and examples of where they, too, failed and then triumphed. I know I’ll fail again, but I’m a writer. It’s what we do until we don’t. With aplomb.
—Tonia Marie Harris
The Writer Unboxed community is filled with writers who empathize with other writers. We’ve all written bad first drafts. We’ve all struggled with revisions. We’ve all faced days when the words won’t flow. We’ve all questioned what we’re doing. People in communities care for one another. They pick up one another when one struggles. They understand it’s not constructive to tear others down.
—Chris Blake
As someone who isolates by nature, I’ve found the Writer Unboxed community to be a vital link for both my writing and personal growth. I lurked for a long time before mustering the courage to post. Being part of this group is like being a member of a large extended family. There is a deep level of trust. And there is a great deal of laughter and loving.
—Brin Jackson
My writing friends have challenged me to employ my imagination in ways I wouldn’t have on my own. They’ve pushed me to make my stories and my writing better. Not to mention the intelligent conversations and stupid jokes and laughter even in the midst of tears. It isn’t just that my writing is richer but that my life is.
—Natalie Hart
As you can see, community’s benefits are elusive because they reach beyond what’s tangible and quantifiable. They’re born of the feelings incited by the flow of others around us on our journey: those who are climbing beside us; those out ahead, shining a light for us to follow; and those behind us to whom we can lend a hand.
You likely won’t comprehend what you’ll receive in return for your investment in community until you have it. And even then it will continue to change and grow in surprising ways.
FIND YOUR TRIBE
Discovering your community is easier than you might think. And although I once feared writers would be distant and judgmental, I’ve found them—almost without exception—to be kind, warm, and inclusive. Starting your search might be as simple as inviting an old friend to a conference. Or checking your local library and bookshops for writing clubs, groups, or classes. Or, easier still, searching the Internet.
There are all types of online writing groups with levels of involvement that run the gamut. Look for groups that feel inclusive and welcoming. Don’t force it—not every group is a natural fit.
At the onset of my own search, I tried a few genre-based groups in which I felt awkward, and I was unable to be myself. In contrast, I eased naturally into my involvement with Writer Unboxed. I moved from commenting on the blog to joining the Writer Unboxed Facebook Group to interacting almost daily and swiftly cultivating my tribe. The process felt like coming home.
So be patient; follow your head and heart to your tribe. Once you’ve found it, be attentive and give of yourself as much as you take.
I came to writing a bit later in life, and I’m surprised by how significant and meaningful this journey has become. Community plays a huge role in making it so. It provides a steady source of support, encouragement, and camaraderie—the very fuel I need to persevere. But beyond the tangible benefits I find through my association with my fellow writers and amidst the comfort of my tribe, I’ve discovered community’s most essential element: friendship.
The friendships I’ve found on my publishing journey have played a vital role in making it the most rewarding of my life. That’s a special gift. I’m grateful. So my last and perhaps most important bit of advice? Don’t miss your opportunity to share it.
Pro Tip
Take care that social networking doesn’t become your sugar fix—an unhealthy fuel that takes you away from your work and becomes addictive in its own right.