Say My Name

How to Empower Yourself with One Simple Word: Writer

Jo Eberhardt

I am a writer.

The first time I said those words to a stranger, I was standing in the emergency department of a children’s hospital while my five-year-old son struggled to breathe.

I’d thought those words many times in the privacy of my own head. Once or twice, I’d even suggested to friends that I could, sort of, possibly, maybe, one day be something like a writer. I had three completed manuscripts on my computer, but not only were they not published, they were probably not publishable. I wasn’t a writer.

And yet every article I read online told me the only prerequisite for calling yourself a writer was to, well, write. I made up my mind to tell someone.

But I didn’t.

The idea of saying those words filled me with dread. What if someone called me out? Who was I to claim the mantle of writer, when all I’d done was write hundreds of thousands of unpublished words? Anyone could do that. Right?

On the day my five-year-old son was rushed to the ER with severe pneumonia, I was terrified. There was nothing I could do to help my child. I watched helplessly as ER staff stuck him with needles and positioned an oxygen mask over his face. In an effort to calm my nerves, a nurse tried to make small talk. “So what do you do?” he asked.

In that moment, I was so scared for my son that the fear of saying those words faded to nothing.

“I’m a writer,” I said.

SHOUT IT OUT

From a purely grammatical perspective, a writer is someone who writes. But we imbue this word with nuances of meaning that give it power over us. We make the word writer into a status symbol—something to be earned.

“I’ll call myself a writer when I’m published.”

“I’ll call myself a writer when I make enough money with my writing that I can quit my day job.”

“I’ll call myself a writer when Stephen King, J.K. Rowling, and Neil Gaiman show up on my doorstep in the middle of the night and present me with the Golden Pen of Writerdom.”

Sure, a writing career is marked by many milestones (although I’ve yet to meet someone who’s achieved that last one I mentioned), but that’s exactly what they are: milestones. In a writing career. So when does that writing career start? When can you legitimately call yourself a writer?

The answer contains one simple word: now.

When we name something, we make it real. We name our children, our cars, our boats, our pets, and our indoor plants. We agonize over the names of our characters and debate the benefits of publishing under a pseudonym.

We know that names have power. When you call yourself a writer, you define yourself and transform your dream into reality.

You are a writer from the moment you make a conscious decision that writing is your career path. Maybe you’re still working a day job. Maybe you don’t know exactly what your career path will look like beyond eventually writing a story someone else will read. But if you’re writing consistently, actively honing your craft, and keeping the end goal of writing for publication in mind, you are a writer.

When you tell yourself you’re a writer, you give yourself permission to write. When you tell other people you’re a writer, you apply positive pressure to yourself to keep writing. If you’ve just told your best friend’s roommate that you’re writing the next great American novel, you had better believe she’s going to check on your progress every time she sees you. That external accountability will keep you on the straight and narrow.

BE PREPARED

After I had told the ER nurse that I was a writer, I took a deep breath and returned to worrying about my son. But the conversation didn’t end there. “Wow!” he said. “That’s amazing. What do you write? Would I have read any of your books? Where can I buy them?”

I was not at all prepared for that part of the conversation. I stammered and stuttered and admitted that I hadn’t actually been published yet, all the while waiting for him to decry me as a fraud or, at the very least, a liar.

Every time you tell someone you’re a writer, you’ll be hit with follow-up questions, so you need to be prepared with simple answers. Rather than react defensively, be honest. “I’m not published yet, but I’m currently working on a historical fantasy novel set during the Crusades.”

These conversations can feel awkward and uncomfortable, especially when you’re not prepared for them. And there’s this nagging voice in the back of your head reminding you that you don’t need any special qualifications to call yourself a writer. You haven’t graduated from writer school. You don’t have an advanced degree in writerology. And, sadly, there is no secret society of authors who wander the streets at night and bestow golden pens on worthy writers-to-be. Anyone can call herself a writer.

So what makes you so special?

FIGHT IMPOSTER SYNDROME

Imposter syndrome is, simply put, a fear of being found out. It’s the belief that you actually have no idea what you’re doing and that, at any moment, someone is going to realize you’re making it up as you go along.

Imposter syndrome is incredibly common, and not just among writers. You’ll find it among teachers, scientists, politicians, business owners, and just about everyone else in the world. Do you know who doesn’t suffer from imposter syndrome? Narcissists and low achievers.

Narcissists never doubt their own self-worth, and low achievers don’t seek out hard work. So if the idea of telling someone you’re a writer fills you with fear and makes you question whether you can claim such a lofty title, congratulations! You have a realistic understanding of your own abilities and the hard work involved in a writing career.

Overcoming imposter syndrome is as simple—or as complicated—as remembering the following three things:

1. Don’t compare yourself to others to validate your role as a writer. Deep down, they may be just as doubtful about their abilities as you are about yours. Even if they’re published. Even if they’ve had multiple books published.
2. Concentrate on your achievements. I guarantee that if you read something you wrote five years ago—or even one year ago—you’ll think it’s terrible. You’ve already come a long way on your writing journey, and that’s something to be proud of.
3. See yourself through the eyes of others. Those uncomfortable questions people ask about what you write and where they can buy your books? They’re not attacks. They’re exclamations of excitement and support. The average person is in awe of writers. We create stories from squiggles of ink on sheets of dead tree. That’s a kind of magic.

I’m not saying you can wave a pen and banish imposter syndrome. What I am saying is that it’s normal, it has a name, and it can be overcome with a little bit of courage.

OWN IT

You’ve got this. Go out, and tell people you’re a writer. The worst that can happen is that you feel a little awkward during the ensuing conversation. That’s a small price to pay for the validation, confidence, and accountability that come with claiming the title of writer for yourself. Oh, and if you’re visited in the middle of the night by three cloaked figures brandishing a golden pen, please give them my name.