CHAPTER 20
How to Leave a Job
Making a Graceful Exit
Few situations pose a greater challenge to flawless execution than leaving a job. Whatever the reason—your choice or not, your social savvy and self-discipline will be put to the test, and your behavior can make a lasting impression on everyone around you. Leaving a job involves many of the sensations of separation and loss that accompany ending any close relationship. It’s a time of stress when feelings and emotions run high, and you need to make sure that they don’t run away with you. People around you will be observing your behavior; therefore, be sure that you exit with class.
Leaving Gracefully
People leave jobs for a variety of reasons, and although some general guidelines apply in any situation, some circumstances call for somewhat different departure strategies or special actions.
If You’ve Been Fired
Receiving a pink slip is a devastating experience for even the most self-confident person. We have a difficult time separating what we do from who we are, so losing a job for behavior or job-performance reasons cuts to the core as a major rejection. We feel attacked, even if we know down deep that the company is on firm ground in taking action, and the tendency is to lash out in defense. However, this situation demands a calm, rational approach to what is happening.
Analyze the reasons for your firing. Was the job technically beyond your abilities? Did its requirements run counter to your personality? For example, if you are a shy, reserved person who prefers to pursue a task in an orderly, uninterrupted fashion, and you have been in a job that requires you to telemarket aggressively or make cold calls, your lack of success shouldn’t come as a big surprise. At least you have the empirical evidence that will keep you from putting yourself in a similar situation in the future.
On the other hand, perhaps you lost your job because you couldn’t resist the temptation to party with friends on work nights and never managed to get to work on time in the morning, until your tardiness and absenteeism became intolerable to the department head.
Whatever the reason for your dismissal, look for what you can learn about yourself from this situation before you rush to blame the company or your supervisor. Mistakes can be great teachers and growth opportunities. If you’re comfortable doing so, ask what changes you need to make in the future.
Even if the situation was not in any way your fault, and you got the axe to make room for your boss’s nephew, you need to behave with dignity and grace. Express gratitude to your manager and others, if appropriate, for the opportunity to work at the company and mention some of the growth that you have experienced. Show appreciation to individual coworkers for their help and support during your tenure, and wish them the best in the future. Avoid making snide remarks about how you sympathize with them for having to continue working for Cruella and how you can’t wait to find those greener pastures. Share any pertinent information that you have that someone filling your position might need.
If you’re angry, don’t deny or smother your feelings, but find a venue outside your former workplace to vent. And make sure that you get your anger under control before you start to interview for another job. Alarms sound immediately in an interviewer’s mind when an applicant makes negative remarks about a former employer.
If You’re Laid Off
The principles of leaving after termination also apply in the event of a corporate downsizing in which you find yourself the unfortunate recipient of a layoff. Unlike being fired, which in most cases targets an individual, layoffs often involve a number of people who are leaving the company at the same time. Further, companies often go out of their way to make this kind of exit more palatable, sometimes allowing workers to maintain e-mail addresses and voice mail boxes along with providing them with outplacement counseling and coaching. Particularly in these circumstances, you don’t want to burn any bridges because companies frequently rehire laid-off workers (if they’re available) when conditions improve, or they may engage them on a contract or consulting basis.
The fact that others share your circumstances is an emotional panacea and can create a helpful support structure during a difficult time. You can be a source of networking and generate leads for each other. However, be sure that you don’t turn the supportive network of fellow laid-off employees into a forum for whining and company bashing—before and after your actual separation from the company. Misery loves company, but such an environment can quickly poison your attitude in a way that may taint your job search.
If You Choose to Leave
In many cases, the decision to leave a company is your own and comes as the result of a better opportunity. If you find yourself in this situation, take the necessary steps to handle your departure with the poise that will leave everyone with a favorable impression.
First of all, put your resignation on paper. This letter is the permanent record for both the company and for the person who is leaving. The letter must be unemotional and factual only. You don’t need to apologize or explain why you are leaving, although thanking the recipient for the opportunity to work there is appropriate. Primarily, the written record should include only the fact that you intend to leave and the effective date. Of course you will date and sign your letter. Gayle Oliver, CEO of Atlanta-based Execume, Inc., agrees with the concept of the formal letter but suggests that you call a face-to-face meeting in which you hand the letter across the table.
Occasionally, people who resign get a counteroffer to entice them to stay. Rarely, however, do people who rescind their resignation end up glad they did so. You have to wonder, after all, why, if you are so valuable to your current company, you didn’t receive the recognition and reward before you resigned?
Thank the person who makes you the counteroffer, but assure him or her that you intend to honor your commitment to the new company. If you resigned just to spur your current employer into offering you more money or responsibility, no one will end up well-served, and the company you used as a pawn in the match will never forgive you.
On the other hand, if the counteroffer seems too good to pass up, have a face-to-face conversation with your “almost” employer explaining exactly why you have changed your mind and decided to stay where you are. If you have already made a commitment to the new company, however, consider the possible consequences of reneging on an agreement, and do not, under any circumstances, allow yourself to get into a bidding war.
What follows the formal announcement to your supervisor depends on the policy of the company. In some cases, security will immediately meet you outside the manager’s office and escort you, first back to your work space to gather your personal belongings and then out of the building.
If you work for a company that doesn’t rush you out the door, but actually wants you to stay around for the time you set forth in your notice, here are a few guidelines to help you through the challenging process.
Try to leave on good terms with everyone. Although you might feel better for a few moments, resist the urge to unload on a coworker who may have made your life miserable. After all, people have been known to return to a former company, and you want to create as much goodwill as you can. If you have had difficulties with colleagues, find a way to smooth those relationships before you are gone forever. Thank everyone who helped you do your job or who showed you the ropes when you first joined the company. Be specific about what their guidance and support meant to you.
On the other hand, don’t overpromise to stay in touch. Many of your associations with coworkers stem from the bond of working together. Once that connection no longer exists, you may not maintain an interest in continuing the relationships.
Jean Ann Cantore, editor of Texas Techsan magazine in Lubbock, Texas, cautions against making promises to come back to visit often or to help coworkers get a job with the new company. Not delivering on promises can seriously damage your credibility.
If you do stay connected to former coworkers, avoid digging for work-related dirt or gossip when you see or talk to them. You aren’t an insider anymore, and people may not feel comfortable if you pry into information that should stay within the company.
Resist the urge to boast about your new position. If you are leaving for a better opportunity, avoid telling everyone how great your new company is. Be upbeat, but keep your enthusiasm under control. Avoid gloating over the big salary or the fabulous benefits package. You won’t gain anything by encouraging others to leave, either. What’s right for you may not be right for them. Even if the situation you are leaving is difficult for others also, don’t make them feel bad about staying. They may not have the option.
Help ensure a smooth transition. Cantore also warns against assuming the short-timer’s attitude. Put the same high level of energy into your work on your last days as you did when you weren’t planning to leave, and add to your daily duties a spirit of helping those who will stay and deal with the issues of your transition. Share information about projects on which you were working. If others will be taking up the slack while the company looks for someone to replace you, make sure that you leave instructions about access to the information they need. If the replacement is already on board, help him or her get up to speed.
Leave your work area and files organized and in good condition. You don’t want to undo your former coworkers’ good memories of you when they start picking up your unfinished projects.
After your departure, be available to answer any questions by phone or e-mail. You certainly can specify the best time to contact you at your new workplace. And although you obviously can’t spend an inordinate amount of time during working hours coaching former coworkers or your replacement, you can save everyone grief by being a temporary resource as the former workplace learns to get along without you.
The Last Impression
Overall, the key to leaving employment is to exit with class. Treat this interaction as you would if it were your first encounter with the company because this last impression you make will be the one your former employer will remember. You never know when the contacts you made there will pay big dividends or become a valuable resource. When people remember you, make sure they remember someone of the utmost integrity and professionalism.
The Bottom Line
Leaving a work situation involves many of the feelings of separation and loss that accompany ending a close relationship.
Keep your emotions under control, especially if you have bad feelings about the job you’re leaving.
Don’t boast about the new position you are taking.
The contacts you made at your former job can be valuable resources, so exit with dignity.
Action Plan:
Over the next thirty days,
I will stop ___________________________________________________
I will start ___________________________________________________
I will continue ________________________________________________