CHAPTER 9

Convenience or Curse?

Is It Time for a Cell Phone Reality Check?

Some time ago, at a breakfast meeting I had with a client at a trendy coffee house, I suddenly realized that my guest and I were practically shouting at each other because diners on both our left and right were engaged in cell phone conversations that got increasingly louder. The two people carrying on their “private” conversations seemed oblivious to the possibility that their own communication might be interfering with that of others.

And, while attending a conference in Europe later that same year, I saw that surprisingly few attendees seemed to be actually conversing with other people at the conference. At every break in the proceedings, scores of people whipped cell phones out of their pockets and handbags and, ignoring everyone around them, talked to someone elsewhere. Today, everywhere you look, people are engaged in cell phone conversations on the street and in cars, offices, shops, restaurants, airports, busses, and trains.

Cell phone use has become so ubiquitous that we seem to have forgotten that taking or placing a cellular call isn’t always okay. People place and take calls in the theater during a performance, in meetings and classes, in the hospital, and in the middle of conversations we’re trying to have with them. Have these handy devices become an actual necessity or are they just one more way for us to be rude to each other?

Without a doubt, cell phones do serve an invaluable function. It’s great to be able to let someone know that you’re stuck in traffic and will be late for meeting. And they can be a lifesaver when we are in unfamiliar surroundings, having car trouble, or confronting an emergency. With a cell phone in hand, we’re in touch and in control.

On the other hand, remember when you could get through a meal and talk only to those seated at your table? Or when you could attend a play, a meeting, or be on the train without hearing a cell phone ring or be a third party to someone else’s conversation?

Keep the Technology in Perspective

How can you manage this useful tool in such a way that it enhances communication rather than interferes with it? Here are some guidelines.

Get acquainted with the on/off switch on your cell phone. Accept the fact that you don’t have to be constantly connected. If you place or take a phone call when you’re engaged in a face-to-face meeting or conversation, you send a clear message to the person with you that the person on the telephone is more important. There are few issues that can’t wait an hour or two for resolution, and most cell phones now contain incoming-call features and access to time-stamped voice mail to alert you to missed calls. Of course, exceptions occur. If you know that you might receive a call that you must answer, if possible, inform those around you of the possibility. I was recently in a meeting in which a participant explained to those attending that his wife was close to the delivery date of their first child, and he needed to keep his cell phone available to take her calls.

Put the phone in silent mode. When you really must be on call, consider investing in the vibrator battery. If you don’t have that option or choose to have your phone ring, at the very least, keep the ring simple and low key.

In a growing number of instances, you may have no choice about turning your phone off. Some restaurants and private clubs are beginning to prohibit use of cell phones because of abuse by inconsiderate patrons. Be sure to check for notices to avoid embarrassment.

Have private conversations in private. For many people, cell phone use by others is particularly irritating when the user engages in private, even intimate, conversation in a confined public setting, such as on a bus or train. Most people have their own issues to deal with and don’t need to be subjected to a stranger’s haggling with a spouse over having to work late, admonishing kids to do their homework, or trying to arrange a date for the weekend. When talking on the phone, we often get so caught up in the phone call that we tune out to the fact that others around us are hearing everything we say and even have a fairly good idea of what’s happening on the other end. If you’re going to be discussing a personal matter, wait until you are alone.

Further, keep in mind that some cell phones are still vulnerable to electronic eavesdroppers, so be wary of discussing sensitive business issues via that medium. It’s also frustrating to get “dropped” by a lost connection when you’re trying to negotiate an important deal. Save your critical and sensitive business conversations for a ground line, or talk in person.

Don’t dial and drive. Engaging in phone conversations while driving is just plain dangerous. Further, if you have an important business call to make or take, talking while you’re driving—even if you’re using a hands-free device, is probably not conducive to a productive conversation with the desired outcome. It’s a lose/lose situation because you’re not at your best when you’re speaking and driving and you are risking your own and other drivers’ safety. If a call comes in while you’re driving, you have several options. You may choose to answer the call and tell the caller that you will call back; you can pull off the road, if it’s feasible, and then take the call; or you can simply let it go to voice mail.

Use common sense and common courtesy. Because the cellular telephone phenomenon appeared so quickly on our social and business landscape, we lack a frame of reference or code of conduct to manage cell phone use. Perhaps we need to rethink our “make up the rules as you go” approach to dealing with both the growing presence of cell phones and other personal technology devices. Until we come up with some collective guidelines, however, common sense and a concern for those around us will turn out to be the best choice.

The Bottom Line

Cell phones are useful tools that should enhance communication rather than interfere with it.

Learn to turn off your phone when the environment isn’t appropriate.

Keep private conversations private.

Recognize that cell phones and driving are not a good combination for safety or for a productive conversation.

Action Plan:

Over the next thirty days,

I will stop ___________________________________________________

I will start ___________________________________________________

I will continue ________________________________________________