Step five: Shadow diamond

Whenever people come together, there are two sides to the association. The surface issues, which relate to those things that people are happy to share with others, and the "shadow" issues, which are the hidden behaviours, thoughts and feelings that people are less comfortable about sharing. The shadow issues are important because they often drive the force and direction of any change. You probably know people who are scared of spiders or have a particular aversion to a type of food. Although these fears are seemingly silly, they can significantly influence the decisions people take and how they manage their lives.

Although you might be fortunate enough to know your client well, in the vast majority of cases you will not be emotionally connected with the client. This can be like the first fumbling teenage date, where both kids are trying to second guess and satisfy the goals of the other person without compromising their personal values and integrity. In the same way, the early meetings with a client can end up as a series of fumbling encounters, where both people are trying to understand the needs and goals of the other. Part of the reason why this dilemma occurs is because we all operate on two levels of interaction, the surface and the shadow.

The surface issues are considered on an open and level playing field and the shadow issues are the factors that both sides choose to hide from each other. This linkage is shown as a diamond in Fig. 5.2. The left and right sides of the shape indicate the client's and consultant's position and the upper and lower sections indicate the surface and shadow issues.

In a typical consulting project, you might offer what appears to be a practical and sensible change proposition, which the client may rebuff with arguments and concerns about its feasibility. But are these rebuttals coming from the reasoned head of the client or are shadow concerns forcing unrelated and often irrelevant issues to the surface? For example, let's suppose a reengineering proposal has been turned down because it involves head office relocation. On the surface the proposal offers a number of financial and operational improvements for the client. However, the unseen shadow implication is that the client's children's education will be interrupted and his or her partner's work and social life hampered. This type of personal prejudice can swing the balance against a rational solution, thus destroying (for an unknown, or at least unstated, reason) your proposal.

One way round this problem is to make the undiscussible discussible and create an environment where the client feels comfortable talking about shadow issues. Although this is not an easy process, you can develop personal strategies that make disclosure easier. These strategies are a set of words and behaviours that you can draw upon when faced with a client who doesn't want to open up their shadow side.

First, you can use the shadow "hook". Try to understand and influence your client's world by entering their shadow domain through the back door. Your strategy is to bring out private and personal issues that are so often subsumed or pushed to one side in the business world.

As seen in Fig. 5.3, and taking the example of head office relocation, you might talk about your own personal experiences, possibly by discussing how difficult it is to get a balance between the pressure of a consultant's life style and the demands of a growing family. Whatever words are used, you are effectively using your shadow side to pace and lead the client's language and thoughts. You are making it possible for the client to release the intangible and hidden issues. Once the two shadow parts are in harmony, then you can encourage the client to slowly bring their issues to the surface and deal with them in a non-threatening way.

An alternative version is seen in Fig. 5.4. In this example, you enter through the surface level and challenge the client to look inward and think about some of the deeper issues associated with the contract proposal. This might entail asking questions such as: "How would this affect your family?" "What difference will the proposal make to your lifestyle?" or "How would you feel if the proposal is not accepted by the board?" In this approach, the engagement is reversed and the client is encouraged to look inside at their hidden issues and share these on an open level. This is a much more high-risk strategy because the client might feel that you are stepping outside the acceptable work boundaries. You must always be ready to pull back if you feel that the client is unsettled or agitated.

Crucially, when developing a relationship with the client, you must listen to what they say and, more importantly, watch what they do. The pained facial expression as your client talks about the business goals or the involuntary eye movement as the topic of relocation emerges are valuable indicators that highlight a shadow problem. They will not automatically tell you about the deeper issues at play but they certainly offer signals that the topic could be explored further to pull out any shadow factors. However, before you start to delve into the client's shadow areas, you need to understand the extent to which the client trusts you. Clearly the thought of some stranger trying to understand some of deep personal concerns and issues is off-putting and you might end up alienating the client.

Back pocket question What are the client’s unspoken issues and how can I understand them?

Application of these five steps will not guarantee a successful first client contact, but it will guarantee that you have at least prepared professionally. This professionalism will show through immediately with the client because you will be seen to care about them and their needs.

Clearly the business world is driven by a macho sense of bravado, backbone and bull. However, the reality is that in the vast majority of cases, a client will take a decision based upon an emotional feeling, and then post-rationalize the decision by careful "reasoned" internal debate. This is not to suggest that the client is wrong, just that we are all human and not machines. As such emotions play a large role in any decision that we might take. Therefore, it does matter if the client feels cared for; it does make a difference if you understand what personal fears they might have; and clients will cancel a large contract if they feel that the consultant does not understand their personal needs.

By thinking through and preparing around the ideas in the five steps model you will enter the client stage of the process with some degree of confidence. If you attempt to move into the first part of the life cycle without this mental preparation, then you will be winging it, and in the majority of cases the client will immediately sense this. Just imagine you are about to spend a large sum of money on a set of replacement windows for the house. Who would get the larger chunk of your time, someone that walked in the door and launched into how great their products are, or the person that took time out to understand you and your needs before talking about their products?