Introduction
1. Mitchell Kusy and Elizabeth Holloway, Toxic Workplace! Managing Toxic Personalities and Their Systems of Power (San Francisco: Jossey-Bass, 2009).
2. “The Truth About Annoying Coworkers,” Olivet Nazarene University, accessed December 5, 2021, https://online.olivet.edu/news/truth-about-annoying-coworkers.
3. Esther Perel, host, “Prologue,” How’s Work?, podcast, February 3, 2020, https://howswork.estherperel.com/episodes/prologue.
4. Shasta Nelson, The Business of Friendship: Making the Most of Our Relationships Where We Spend Most of Our Time (Nashville: HarperCollins Leadership, 2020).
5. Christine Porath and Christine Pearson, “The Price of Incivility,” Harvard Business Review, January–February 2013, https://hbr.org/2013/01/the-price-of-incivility.
6. Christine Porath, “No Time to Be Nice at Work,” New York Times, June 19, 2015, https://www.nytimes.com/2015/06/21/opinion/sunday/is-your-boss-mean.html.
7. Abby Curnow-Chavez, “4 Ways to Deal with a Toxic Coworker,” Harvard Business Review, April 10, 2018, https://hbr.org/2018/04/4-ways-to-deal-with-a-toxic-coworker.
8. Author interview with Kelly Greenwood, March 2, 2021.
Chapter 1
1. “The State of American Jobs,” Pew Research Center, October 6, 2016, https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2016/10/06/the-state-of-american-jobs/#fn-22004-8.
2. Laura M. Giurge and Kaitlin Woolley, “Don’t Work on Vacation. Seriously,” Harvard Business Review, July 20, 2020, https://hbr.org/2020/07/dont-work-on-vacation-seriously.
3. Martha C. White, “Think You Have Off Monday? No, You Don’t,” Time, February 13, 2015, https://time.com/3708273/presidents-day-work/.
4. Author interview with Emily Heaphy, October 20, 2020.
5. Vivek H. Murthy, Together: The Healing Power of Human Connection in a Sometimes Lonely World (New York: Harper Wave, 2020).
6. Marissa King, Social Chemistry: Decoding the Patterns of Human Connection (New York: Dutton, 2020); Rob Cross, “To Be Happier at Work, Invest More in Your Relationships,” Harvard Business Review, July 30, 2019, https://hbr.org/2019/07/to-be-happier-at-work-invest-more-in-your-relationships.
7. Adriana Dahik et al., “What 12,000 Employees Have to Say About the Future of Remote Work,” Boston Consulting Group, August 11, 2020, https://www.bcg.com/en-us/publications/2020/valuable-productivity-gains-covid-19.
8. Tom Rath and Jim Harter, “Your Friends and Your Social Well-Being,” Gallup Business Journal, August 19, 2010, https://news.gallup.com/businessjournal/127043/friends-social-wellbeing.aspx.
9. Jessica R. Methot et al., “Are Workplace Friendships a Mixed Blessing? Exploring Tradeoffs of Multiplex Relationships and Their Associations with Job Performance,” Personnel Psychology 69, no. 2 (Summer 2016): 311–55, https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/full/10.1111/peps.12109.
10. Simone Schnall et al., “Social Support and the Perception of Geographical Slant,” Journal of Experimental Social Psychology 44, no. 5 (September 2008): 1246–55, https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jesp.2008.04.011.
11. “Jack Needs Jill to Get Up the Hill,” Virginia Magazine, Fall 2009, https://uvamagazine.org/articles/jack_needs_jill_to_get_up_the_hill.
12. Christine Porath and Christine Pearson, “The Price of Incivility,” Harvard Business Review, January–February 2013, https://hbr.org/2013/01/the-price-of-incivility.
13. Porath and Pearson, “The Price of Incivility.”
14. Arieh Riskin et al., “The Impact of Rudeness on Medical Team Performance: A Randomized Trial,” Pediatrics 136, no. 3 (September 2015): 487–95, https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/26260718/.
15. Christine L. Porath, Trevor Foulk, and Amir Erez, “How Incivility Hijacks Performance: It Robs Cognitive Resources, Increases Dysfunctional Behavior, and Infects Team Dynamics and Functioning,” Organizational Dynamics 44, no. 4 (October–December 2015): 258–65, https://doi.org/10.1016/j.orgdyn.2015.09.002.
16. Bill Hendrick, “Having a Bad Boss Is Bad for the Heart,” WebMD, November 24, 2008, https://www.webmd.com/heart-disease/news/20081124/having-a-bad-boss-is-bad-for-the-heart#1.
17. Gaia Vince, “Arguments Dramatically Slow Wound Healing,” New Scientist, December 5, 2005, https://www.newscientist.com/article/dn8418-arguments-dramatically-slow-wound-healing/.
18. Jane E. Dutton, Energize Your Workplace: How to Create and Sustain High-Quality Connections at Work (San Francisco: Jossey-Bass, 2003).
19. Noam Wasserman, The Founder’s Dilemmas: Anticipating and Avoiding the Pitfalls That Can Sink a Startup (Princeton, NJ: Princeton University Press, 2013).
20. Christine Porath, “Isolate Toxic Employees to Reduce Their Negative Effects,” Harvard Business Review, November 14, 2016, https://hbr.org/2016/11/isolate-toxic-employees-to-reduce-their-negative-effects.
21. Andrew Parker, Alexandra Gerbasi, and Christine L. Porath, “The Effects of De-energizing Ties in Organizations and How to Manage Them,” Organizational Dynamics 42, no. 2 (April–June 2013): 110–18, https://doi.org/10.1016/j.orgdyn.2013.03.004.
22. Jessica R. Methot, Shimul Melwani, and Naomi B. Rothman, “The Space Between Us: A Social-Functional Emotions View of Ambivalent and Indifferent Workplace Relationships,” Journal of Management 43, no. 6 (January 2017): 1789–1819, https://doi.org/10.1177/0149206316685853.
23. Shimul Melwani and Naomi Rothman, “Research: Love-Hate Relationships at Work Might Be Good for You,” Harvard Business Review, January 20, 2015, https://hbr.org/2015/01/research-love-hate-relationships-at-work-might-be-good-for-you.
1. Christine Porath and Christine Pearson, “The Price of Incivility,” Harvard Business Review, January–February 2013, https://hbr.org/2013/01/the-price-of-incivility.
2. Christine L. Porath, Trevor Foulk, and Amir Erez, “How Incivility Hijacks Performance: It Robs Cognitive Resources, Increases Dysfunctional Behavior, and Infects Team Dynamics and Functioning,” Organizational Dynamics 44, no. 4 (October–December 2015): 258–65, https://doi.org/10.1016/j.orgdyn.2015.09.002.
3. Porath, Foulk, and Erez, ““How Incivility Hijacks Performance.”
4. John T. Cacioppo, Stephanie Cacioppo, and Jackie K. Gollan, “The Negativity Bias: Conceptualization, Quantification, and Individual Differences,” Behavioral and Brain Sciences 37, no. 3 (June 2014): 309–10, https://doi.org/10.1017/S0140525X13002537.
5. “Rejection Really Hurts, UCLA Psychologists Find,” ScienceDaily, October 10, 2003, https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2003/10/031010074045.htm (thank you to Paul Zak for directing me to this research); Naomi I. Eisenberger, “The Neural Bases of Social Pain: Evidence for Shared Representations with Physical Pain,” Psychosomatic Medicine 74, no. 2 (February 2012): 126–35, https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3273616/.
6. Benzion Chanowitz and Ellen J. Langer, “Premature Cognitive Commitment,” Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 41, no. 6 (1981): 1051–63.
7. While this quote is often attributed to Frankl, it hasn’t been found word-for-word in any of his writings, nor has it been definitively linked to anyone else’s writing. However, the idea is very much in line with Frankl’s work, as well as that of others. For example, American psychologist Rollo May wrote, “Human freedom involves our capacity to pause between stimulus and response and, in that pause, to choose the one response toward which we wish to throw our weight.”
8. This “emotions are data not noise” idea is something I’ve learned from professor Sigal Barsade and psychologist Susan David.
9. Anat Drach-Zahavy and Miriam Erez, “Challenge versus Threat Effects on the Goal–Performance Relationship,” Organizational Behavior and Human Decision Processes 88, no. 2 (July 2002): 667–82, https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0749597802000043; Emma Seppälä and Christina Bradley, “Handling Negative Emotions in a Way That’s Good for Your Team,” Harvard Business Review, June 11, 2019, https://hbr.org/2019/06/handling-negative-emotions-in-a-way-thats-good-for-your-team.
10. Lisa Feldman Barrett, Seven and a Half Lessons About the Brain (Boston: Houghton Mifflin Harcourt, 2020).
11. Author interview with Alice Boyes, November 20, 2020.
12. Dawn Querstret and Mark Cropley, “Exploring the Relationship between Work-Related Rumination, Sleep Quality, and Work-Related Fatigue,” Journal of Occupational Health Psychology 17, no. 3 (July 2012): 341–53, https://doi.org/10.1037/a0028552.
13. Author interview with Alice Boyes, November 20, 2020.
Chapter 3
1. Sean Illing, “A Psychologist Explains How to Overcome Social Anxiety,” Vox, June 26, 2018, https://www.vox.com/science-and-health/2018/6/26/17467744/social-anxiety-psychology-mental-health.
2. Roger Jones, “What CEOs Are Afraid Of,” Harvard Business Review, February 24, 2015, https://hbr.org/2015/02/what-ceos-are-afraid-of.
3. Nathanael J. Fast and Serena Chen, “When the Boss Feels Inadequate: Power, Incompetence, and Aggression,” Psychological Science 20, no. 11 (November 2009): 1406–13, https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1467-9280.2009.02452.x.
4. Author interview with Ethan Burris, January 11, 2021.
5. Nathanael J. Fast, Ethan R. Burris, and Caroline A. Bartel, “Managing to Stay in the Dark: Managerial Self-Efficacy, Ego Defensiveness, and the Aversion to Employee Voice,” Academy of Management Journal 57, no. 4 (September 2013): 1013–34, https://journals.aom.org/doi/10.5465/amj.2012.0393.
6. Ruchika Tulshyan and Jodi-Ann Burey, “Stop Telling Women They Have Imposter Syndrome,” Harvard Business Review, February 11, 2021, https://hbr.org/2021/02/stop-telling-women-they-have-imposter-syndrome.
7. David L. Collinson, “Identities and Insecurities: Selves at Work,” Organization 10, no. 3 (August 2003): 527–47, https://www.researchgate.net/publication/238334590_Identities_and_Insecurities_Selves_at_Work.
8. Teresa Amabile, “Your Mean Boss Could Be Insecure,” Washington Post, July 12, 2012, https://www.washingtonpost.com/national/on-leadership/your-mean-boss-could-be-insecure/2012/07/12/gJQAiIZufW_story.html.
9. Nathanael J. Fast, Ethan Burris, and Caroline A. Bartel, “Research: Insecure Managers Don’t Want Your Suggestions,” Harvard Business Review, November 24, 2014, https://hbr.org/2014/11/research-insecure-managers-dont-want-your-suggestions.
10. Fast, Burris, and Bartel, “Insecure Managers.”
11. W. Gerrod Parrott, “The Benefits and Threats from Being Envied in Organizations,” in Envy at Work and in Organizations (New York: Oxford University Press, 2017), 455–74.
12. Author interview with Lindred Greer, January 12, 2021.
13. Fast, Burris, and Bartel, “Insecure Managers.”
14. Author interview with Nathanael Fast, January 19, 2021.
15. Hui Liao, Elijah Wee, and Dong Liu, “Research: Shifting the Power Balance with an Abusive Boss,” Harvard Business Review, October 9, 2017, https://hbr.org/2017/10/research-shifting-the-power-balance-with-an-abusive-boss.
16. David E. Sprott et al., “The Question–Behavior Effect: What We Know and Where We Go from Here,” Social Influence 1 (August 2006): 128–37, https://doi.org/10.1080/15534510600685409.
Chapter 4
1. Author interview with Michelle Gielan, January 11, 2021.
2. Fuschia Sirois, “The Surprising Benefits of Being a Pessimist,” The Conversation, February 23, 2018, https://theconversation.com/the-surprising-benefits-of-being-a-pessimist-91851.
3. Fuschia M. Sirois, “Who Looks Forward to Better Health? Personality Factors and Future Self-Rated Health in the Context of Chronic Illness,” International Journal of Behavioral Medicine 22 (January 2015): 569–79, https://doi.org/10.1007/s12529-015-9460-8.
4. Grant and Higgins, “Do You Play to Win—or to Not Lose?,” Harvard Business Review, March 2013, https://hbr.org/2013/03/do-you-play-to-win-or-to-not-lose.
5. Author interview with Eileen Chou, January 14, 2021.
6. Michelle Gielan, “The Financial Upside of Being an Optimist,” Harvard Business Review, March 12, 2019, https://hbr.org/2019/03/the-financial-upside-of-being-an-optimist.
7. Sigal G.Barsade, Constantinos G. V. Coutifaris, and Julianna Pillemer, “Emotional Contagion in Organizational Life,” Research in Organizational Behavior 38 (December 2018): 137–51, https://doi.org/10.1016/j.riob.2018.11.005.
8. Susan David, “The Gift and Power of Emotional Courage,” filmed November 2017 at TEDWomen in New Orleans, LA, https://www.ted.com/talks/susan_david_the_gift_and_power_of_emotional_courage.
9. Author interview with Heidi Grant, February 1, 2021.
10. Amy C. Edmondson, “Boeing and the Importance of Encouraging Employees to Speak Up,” Harvard Business Review, May 1, 2019, https://hbr.org/2019/05/boeing-and-the-importance-of-encouraging-employees-to-speak-up.
11. Hemant Kakkar and Subra Tangirala, “If Your Employees Aren’t Speaking Up, Blame Company Culture,” Harvard Business Review, November 6, 2018, https://hbr.org/2018/11/if-your-employees-arent-speaking-up-blame-company-culture.
12. David M. Schweiger, William R. Sandberg, and James W. Ragan, “Group Approaches for Improving Strategic Decision Making: A Comparative Analysis of Dialectical Inquiry, Devil’s Advocacy, and Consensus,” Academy of Management Journal 29, no. 1 (1986): 51–71, https://psycnet.apa.org/doi/10.2307/255859.
13. Nilofer Merchant, “Don’t Demonize Employees Who Raise Problems,” Harvard Business Review, January 30, 2020, https://hbr.org/2020/01/dont-demonize-employees-who-raise-problems.
14. Author interview with Heidi Grant, February 1, 2021.
15. Author interview with Eileen Chou, January 14, 2021.
16. Author interview with Heidi Grant, February 1, 2021.
Chapter 5
1. Rahav Gabay et al., “The Tendency for Interpersonal Victimhood: The Personality Construct and Its Consequences,” Personality and Individual Differences 165 (October 2020), https://doi.org/10.1016/j.paid.2020.110134.
2. Manfred F. R. Kets de Vries, “Are You a Victim of the Victim Syndrome?,” Organizational Dynamics 43, no. 2 (July 2012), https://www.researchgate.net/publication/256028208_Are_You_a_Victim_of_the_Victim_Syndrome.
3. Bryant P. H. Hui et al., “Rewards of Kindness? A Meta-Analysis of the Link between Prosociality and Well-Being,” Psychological Bulletin 142, no. 12 (December 2020): 1084–1116, https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/32881540/.
Chapter 6
1. Scott Wetzler and Leslie C. Morey, “Passive-Aggressive Personality Disorder: The Demise of a Syndrome,” Psychiatry 62, no. 1 (Spring 1999): 49–59, https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/10224623/; Christopher Lane, “The Surprising History of Passive-Aggressive Personality Disorder,” Theory & Psychology 19, no. 1 (February 2009): 55–70, https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/0959354308101419.
2. Christopher J. Hopwood et al., “The Construct Validity of Passive-Aggressive Personality Disorder,” Psychiatry 72, no. 3 (Fall 2009): 255–67, https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2862968/.
3. Author interview with Gabrielle Adams, January 12, 2021.
4. Benedict Carey, “Oh, Fine, You’re Right. I’m Passive-Aggressive,” New York Times, November 16, 2004, https://www.nytimes.com/2004/11/16/health/psychology/oh-fine-youre-right-im-passiveaggressive.html.
5. Nora J. Johnson and Thomas Klee, “Passive-Aggressive Behavior and Leadership Styles in Organizations,” Journal of Leadership & Organizational Studies 14, no. 2 (November 2007): 130–42, https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/1071791907308044.
6. Johnson and Klee, “Passive-Aggressive Behavior.”
7. D’Lisa N. McKee, “Antecedents of Passive-Aggressive Behavior as Employee Deviance,” Journal of Organizational Psychology 19, no. 4 (September 2019).
8. There are numerous studies and articles on the double bind that women face at work. I find this article to be one of the most descriptive: Alice Eagly and Linda L. Carli, “Women and the Labyrinth of Leadership,” Harvard Business Review, September 2007, https://hbr.org/2007/09/women-and-the-labyrinth-of-leadership.
9. Michelle K. Duffy, Daniel C. Ganster, and Milan Pagon, “Social Undermining in the Workplace,” Academy of Management Journal 45, no. 2 (November 2017): 331–51, https://journals.aom.org/doi/10.5465/3069350.
10. Gary L. Neilson, Bruce A. Pasternack, and Karen E. Van Nuys, “The Passive-Aggressive Organization,” Harvard Business Review, October 2005, https://hbr.org/2005/10/the-passive-aggressive-organization.
11. Author interview with Gabrielle Adams, January 12, 2021.
12. Jeffrey Sanchez-Burks, Christina Bradley, and Lindred Greer, “How Leaders Can Optimize Teams’ Emotional Landscapes,” MIT Sloan Management Review, January 4, 2021, https://sloanreview.mit.edu/article/how-leaders-can-optimize-teams-emotional-landscapes/.
13. Author interview with Lindred Greer, January 12, 2021.
14. Author interview with Heidi Grant, February 1, 2021.
15. Pauline Schilpzand, Irene De Pater, and Amir Erez, “Workplace Incivility: A Review of the Literature and Agenda for Future Research,” Journal of Organizational Behavior 37, no. S1 (February 2016): S57–S88, https://doi.org/10.1002/job.1976.
16. Patrick Lencioni, The Five Dysfunctions of a Team: A Leadership Fable (San Francisco: Jossey-Bass, 2002).
Chapter 7
1. Rebecca Webber, “Meet the Real Narcissists (They’re Not What You Think),” Psychology Today, September 15, 2016, https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/articles/201609/meet-the-real-narcissists-theyre-not-what-you-think; Sheenie Ambardar, “Narcissistic Personality Disorder,” Medscape, last updated May 16, 2018, https://emedicine.medscape.com/article/1519417-overview#a5.
2. Mark D. Alicke et al., “Personal Contact, Individuation, and the Better-Than-Average Effect,” Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 68, no. 5 (1995): 804–25, https://doi.org/10.1037/0022-3514.68.5.804; David Dunning, Self-Insight: Roadblocks and Detours on the Path to Knowing Thyself (New York: Psychology Press, 2005).
3. James A. Shepperd, Judith A. Ouellette, and Julie K. Fernandez, “Abandoning Unrealistic Optimism: Performance Estimates and the Temporal Proximity of Self-Relevant Feedback,” Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 70, no. 4 (1996): 844–55, https://doi.org/10.1037/0022-3514.70.4.844.
4. Stephen J. Hoch, “Counterfactual Reasoning and Accuracy in Predicting Personal Events,” Journal of Experimental Psychology: Learning, Memory, and Cognition 11, no. 4 (1985): 719–31, https://doi.org/10.1037/0278-7393.11.1-4.719.
5. Johannes Spinnewijn, “Unemployed but Optimistic: Optimal Insurance Design with Biased Beliefs,” Journal of the European Economic Association 13, no. 1 (February 2015): 130–67, https://doi.org/10.1111/jeea.12099.
6. Joey T. Chang et al., “Overconfidence Is Contagious,” Harvard Business Review, November 17, 2020, https://hbr.org/2020/11/overconfidence-is-contagious.
7. Allan Williams, “Views of U.S. Drivers about Driving Safety,” Journal of Safety Research 34, no. 5 (2003): 491–94, https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jsr.2003.05.002.
8. Tomas Chamorro-Premuzic, “How to Spot an Incompetent Leader,” Harvard Business Review, March 11, 2020, https://hbr.org/2020/03/how-to-spot-an-incompetent-leader.
9. Jeanine Prime and Elizabeth Salib, “The Best Leaders Are Humble Leaders,” Harvard Business Review, May 12, 2014, https://hbr.org/2014/05/the-best-leaders-are-humble-leaders.
10. Katty Kay and Claire Shipman, “The Confidence Gap,” The Atlantic, May 2014, https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2014/05/the-confidence-gap/359815/.
11. Stéphanie Thomson, “A Lack of Confidence Isn’t What’s Holding Back Working Women,” The Atlantic, September 20, 2018, https://www.theatlantic.com/family/archive/2018/09/women-workplace-confidence-gap/570772/.
12. Tomas Chamorro-Premuzic, “Why Do So Many Incompetent Men Become Leaders?,” Harvard Business Review, August 22, 2013, https://hbr.org/2013/08/why-do-so-many-incompetent-men.
13. Rebecca Solnit, “Men Who Explain Things,” Los Angeles Times, April 13, 2008, https://www.latimes.com/archives/la-xpm-2008-apr-13-op-solnit13-story.html.
14. Victoria L. Brescoll, “Who Takes the Floor and Why: Gender, Power, and Volubility in Organizations,” Gender and Inequality 56, no. 4 (February 2012): 622–41, https://doi.org/10.1177/0001839212439994.
15. Christopher F. Karpowitz, Tali Mendelberg, and Lee Shaker, “Gender Inequality in Deliberative Participation,” American Political Science Review 106, no. 3 (2012): 533–47, https://www.cambridge.org/core/journals/american-political-science-review/article/abs/gender-inequality-in-deliberative-participation/CE7441632EB3B0BD21CC5045C7E1AF76.
16. Kim Goodwin, “Mansplaining, Explained in One Simple Chart,” BBC, July 29, 2018, https://www.bbc.com/worklife/article/20180727-mansplaining-explained-in-one-chart.
17. Tonja Jacobi and Dylan Schweers, “Female Supreme Court Justices Are Interrupted More by Male Justices and Advocates,” Harvard Business Review, April 11, 2017, https://hbr.org/2017/04/female-supreme-court-justices-are-interrupted-more-by-male-justices-and-advocates.
18. Francesca Gino, “How to Handle Interrupting Colleagues,” Harvard Business Review, February 22, 2017, https://hbr.org/2017/02/how-to-handle-interrupting-colleagues.
19. Erin Meyer, The Culture Map: Breaking Through the Invisible Boundaries of Global Business (New York: PublicAffairs, 2014).
20. Gino, “How to Handle Interrupting Colleagues.”
21. Author interview with Tomas Chamorro-Premuzic, January 21, 2021.
22. Kristen Pressner, “Are You Biased? I Am,” filmed May 2016 at TEDxBasel, Basel, Basel-Stadt, Switzerland, video, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bq_xYSOZrgU&vl=en.
23. Matt Krentz et al., “Five Ways Men Can Improve Gender Diversity at Work,” Boston Consulting Group, October 10, 2017, https://www.bcg.com/en-us/publications/2017/people-organization-behavior-culture-five-ways-men-improve-gender-diversity-work.
24. Sarah Kaplan, “What Companies Should Do with the Office Mansplainer,” Fast Company, July 19, 2019, https://www.fastcompany.com/90378694/what-men-and-companies-should-do-about-mansplaining.
Chapter 8
1. This term was first suggested to me by Michael Gutman on LinkedIn, https://www.linkedin.com/in/gutmanmichael/. Mike is a remote work consultant and educator, and clearly a word genius and generous colleague.
2. Norbert K. Semmer et al., “Illegitimate Tasks as a Source of Work Stress,” Work and Stress 29, no. 1 (March 2015): 32–56, https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4396521/.
3. Rachel Ruttan, Mary-Hunter McDonnell, and Loran Nordgren, “It’s Harder to Empathize with People If You’ve Been in Their Shoes,” Harvard Business Review, October 20, 2015, https://hbr.org/2015/10/its-harder-to-empathize-with-people-if-youve-been-in-their-shoes.
4. Pilar González-Navarro et al., “Envy and Counterproductive Work Behavior: The Moderation Role of Leadership in Public and Private Organizations,” International Journal of Environmental Research and Public Health 15, no. 5 (July 2018): 1455, https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6068656/.
5. Lingtao Yu, Michelle K. Duffy, and Bennett J. Tepper, “Why Supervisors Envy Their Employees,” Harvard Business Review, September 13, 2018, https://hbr.org/2018/09/why-supervisors-envy-their-employees; Manfred F. R. Kets de Vries, The Leadership Mystique: Leading Behavior in the Human Enterprise (Hoboken, NJ: Prentice Hall, 2009).
6. Author interview with Michelle Duffy, January 14, 2021.
7. John Protzko and Jonathan Schooler, “Kids These Days: Why the Youth of Today Seem Lacking,” Science Advances 5, no. 10 (October 2019), https://www.researchgate.net/publication/336596902_Kids_these_days_Why_the_youth_of_today_seem_lacking.
8. Rebecca Knight, “When Your Boss Is Younger Than You,” Harvard Business Review, October 9, 2015, https://hbr.org/2015/10/when-your-boss-is-younger-than-you.
9. Araya Baker, “10 Signs of Generational Envy,” Psychology Today, July 22, 2021, https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/beyond-cultural-competence/202107/10-signs-generational-envy.
10. Lilia M. Cortina, “Selective Incivility as Modern Discrimination in Organizations: Evidence and Impact,” Journal of Management 39, no. 6 (September 2013): 1579–1605, https://doi.org/10.1177/0149206311418835.
11. Allison S. Gabriel, Marcus M. Butts, and Michael T. Sliter, “Women Experience More Incivility at Work—Especially from Other Women,” Harvard Business Review, March 28, 2018, https://hbr.org/2018/03/women-experience-more-incivility-at-work-especially-from-other-women.
12. Anna Steinhage, Dan Cable, and Duncan Wardley, “The Pros and Cons of Competition Among Employees,” Harvard Business Review, March 20, 2017, https://hbr.org/2017/03/the-pros-and-cons-of-competition-among-employees.
13. Leah D. Sheppard and Karl Aquino, “Sisters at Arms: A Theory of Female Same-Sex Conflict and Its Problematization in Organizations,” Journal of Management 43, no. 3 (June 2014): 691–715, https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/0149206314539348.
14. Isabel Fernandez-Mateo and Sarah Kaplan, “The Immortal–and False–Myth of the Workplace Queen Bee,” The Conversation, January 9, 2020, https://theconversation.com/the-immortal-and-false-myth-of-the-workplace-queen-bee-129680.
15. Martin Abel, “Do Workers Discriminate Against Female Bosses?,” IZA Institute of Labor Economics Discussion Paper no. 12611 (September 2019), https://www.iza.org/publications/dp/12611/do-workers-discriminate-against-female-bosses.
16. Robert W. Livingston, Ashleigh Shelby Rosette, and Ella F. Washington, “Can an Agentic Black Woman Get Ahead? The Impact of Race and Interpersonal Dominance on Perceptions of Female Leaders,” Psychological Science 23, no. 4 (March 2012): 354–58, https://doi.org/10.1177/0956797611428079.
17. Valerie Purdie Greenaway, “Are There Black ‘Queen Bees’?” The Atlantic, August 11, 2017, https://www.theatlantic.com/business/archive/2017/08/black-queen-bees-women-khazan/536391/.
18. Alison M. Konrad, Kathleen Cannings, and Caren B. Goldberg, “Asymmetrical Demography Effects on Psychological Climate for Gender Diversity: Differential Effects of Leader Gender and Work Unit Gender Composition among Swedish Doctors,” Human Relations 63, no. 11 (August 2010): 1661–85, https://doi.org/10.1177/0018726710369397.
19. Marianne Cooper, “Why Women (Sometimes) Don’t Help Other Women,” The Atlantic, June 23, 2016, https://www.theatlantic.com/business/archive/2016/06/queen-bee/488144/; Sharon Foley et al., “The Impact of Gender Similarity, Racial Similarity, and Work Culture on Family-Supportive Supervision,” Group & Organization Management 31, no. 4 (August 2006): 420–41, https://doi.org/10.1177/1059601106286884; Lynn Pasquerella and Caroline S. Clauss-Ehlers, “Glass Cliffs, Queen Bees, and the Snow-Woman Effect: Persistent Barriers to Women’s Leadership in the Academy,” Liberal Education 103, no. 2 (Spring 2017), https://www.aacu.org/liberaleducation/2017/spring/pasquerella_clauss-ehlers.
20. Taekjin Shin, “The Gender Gap in Executive Compensation: The Role of Female Directors and Chief Executive Officers,” ANNALS of the American Academy of Political and Social Science 639, no. 1 (December 2011): 258–78, https://doi.org/10.1177/0002716211421119.
21. Heather M. Rasinski and Alexander M. Czopp, “The Effect of Target Status on Witnesses’ Reactions to Confrontations of Bias,” Basic and Applied Social Psychology 32, no. 1 (February 2010): 8–16, https://doi.org/10.1080/01973530903539754.
22. Amy Gallo, “How to Respond to an Offensive Comment at Work,” Harvard Business Review, February 8, 2017, https://hbr.org/2017/02/how-to-respond-to-an-offensive-comment-at-work.
23. Belle Derks, Colette Van Laar, and Naomi Ellemers, “The Queen Bee Phenomenon: Why Women Leaders Distance Themselves from Junior Women,” Leadership Quarterly 27, no. 3 (June 2016): 456–69, https://doi.org/10.1016/j.leaqua.2015.12.007.
24. Stefanie K. Johnson and David R. Hekman, “Women and Minorities Are Penalized for Promoting Diversity,” Harvard Business Review, March 23, 2016, https://hbr.org/2016/03/women-and-minorities-are-penalized-for-promoting-diversity.
25. Michelle Duguid, “Female Tokens in High-Prestige Work Groups: Catalysts or Inhibitors of Group Diversification?,” Organizational Behavior and Human Decision Processes 116, no. 1 (September 2011): 104–15, https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0749597811000720.
26. Author interview with Rosalind Chow, February 18, 2021.
27. Zhenyu Liao, “Intimidating Bosses Can Change—They Just Need a Nudge,” Harvard Business Review, August 31, 2020, https://hbr.org/2020/08/intimidating-bosses-can-change-they-just-need-a-nudge.
28. Bennett J. Tepper, “Consequences of Abusive Supervision,” Academy of Management Journal 43, no. 2 (April 2000): 178–90, https://www.jstor.org/stable/1556375.
29. Gabriel, Butts, and Sliter, “Women Experience More Incivility at Work.”
30. Derks, Van Laar, and Ellemers, “The Queen Bee Phenomenon.”
31. Shannon G. Taylor et al., “Does Having a Bad Boss Make You More Likely to Be One Yourself?,” Harvard Business Review, January 23, 2019, https://hbr.org/2019/01/does-having-a-bad-boss-make-you-more-likely-to-be-one-yourself.
32. Robin J. Ely, “The Effects of Organizational Demographics and Social Identity on Relationships among Professional Women,” Administrative Science Quarterly 39, no. 2 (June 1994): 203–38, https://www.jstor.org/stable/2393234?seq=1.
33. Baker, “10 Signs of Generational Envy.”
34. Mary Wawritz et al., “We’re All Capable of Being an Abusive Boss,” Harvard Business Review, October 14, 2016, https://hbr.org/2016/10/were-all-capable-of-being-an-abusive-boss.
35. Christopher M. Barnes et al., “‘You Wouldn’t Like Me When I’m Sleepy’: Leaders’ Sleep, Daily Abusive Supervision, and Work Unit Engagement,” Academy of Management Journal 58, no. 5 (November 2014): 1419–37, https://doi.org/10.5465/amj.2013.1063.
36. Stephen H. Courtright et al., “My Family Made Me Do It: A Cross-Domain, Self-Regulatory Perspective on Antecedents to Abusive Supervision,” Academy of Management Journal 59, no. 5 (May 2015): 1630–52, https://doi.org/10.5465/amj.2013.1009.
37. Manuela Priesemuth et al., “Abusive Supervision Climate: A Multiple-Mediation Model of Its Impact on Group Outcomes,” Academy of Management Journal 57, no. 5 (October 2013): 1513–34, https://journals.aom.org/doi/10.5465/amj.2011.0237.
38. Manuela Priesemuth, “Time’s Up for Toxic Workplaces,” Harvard Business Review, June 19, 2020, https://hbr.org/2020/06/times-up-for-toxic-workplaces.
39. Roderick M. Kramer, “The Great Intimidators,” Harvard Business Review, February 2006, https://hbr.org/2006/02/the-great-intimidators.
40. Author interview with Rosalind Chow, February 18, 2021.
41. “Belle Derks,” Utrecht Groups & Identity Lab, https://www.bellederks.com/research-publications; Derks, Van Laar, and Ellemers, “The Queen Bee Phenomenon.”
42. Author interview with Belle Derks, February 15, 2021.
43. Hui Liao, Elijah Wee, and Dong Liu, “Research: Shifting the Power Balance with an Abusive Boss,” Harvard Business Review, October 9, 2017, https://hbr.org/2017/10/research-shifting-the-power-balance-with-an-abusive-boss.html.
44. Liao, Wee, and Liu, “Shifting the Power Balance with an Abusive Boss.”
1. Shankar Vedantam, host, “How They See Us,” Hidden Brain, podcast, February 8, 2021, https://hiddenbrain.org/podcast/how-they-see-us/.
2. Derald Wing Sue, Microaggressions in Everyday Life: Race, Gender, and Sexual Orientation (Hoboken, NJ: 2010); Derald Wing Sue et al., “Racial Microaggressions in Everyday Life: Implications for Clinical Practice,” American Psychologist 62, no. 4 (May–June 2007): 271–86, https://gim.uw.edu/sites/gim.uw.edu/files/fdp/Microagressions%20File.pdf.
3. Tiffany Jana and Michael Baran, Subtle Acts of Exclusion: How to Understand, Identify, and Stop Microaggressions (Oakland, CA: Berrett-Koehler Publishers, 2020).
4. Molly McDonough, “4 Common Patterns of Bias That Women Face at Work—and How You Can Correct Them,” ABA Journal, April 1, 2016, https://www.abajournal.com/magazine/article/4_common_patterns_of_bias_that_women_face_at_work_and_how_you_can_correct_t.
5. Ella L. J. Edmondson Bell and Stella M. Nkomo, Our Separate Ways (Boston: Harvard Business Review Press, 2003).
6. Lilia M. Cortina, “Unseen Injustice: Incivility as Modern Discrimination in Organizations,” Academy of Management Review 33, no. 1 (January 2008): 55–75, https://doi.org/10.2307/20159376; Lilia M. Cortina et al., “Selective Incivility as Modern Discrimination in Organizations: Evidence and Impact,” Journal of Management 39, no. 6 (September 2013): 1579–1605, https://doi.org/10.1177/0149206311418835.
7. John Suler, “The Online Disinhibition Effect,” Cyberpsychology & Behavior: The Impact of the Internet, Multimedia and Virtual Reality on Behavior and Society 7, no. 3 (June 2004): 321–26, https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/15257832/.
8. Nellie Bowles, “How to Keep Internet Trolls Out of Remote Workplaces,” New York Times, January 24, 2021, https://www.nytimes.com/2021/01/24/business/remote-work-culture-online.html.
9. I first heard Kendi share this metaphor on Brené Brown’s podcast: Brené Brown, host, “How to Be an Antiracist,” Unlocking Us, podcast, June 3, 2020, https://brenebrown.com/podcast/brene-with-ibram-x-kendi-on-how-to-be-an-antiracist/.
10. If you aren’t yet familiar with the term privilege, I like the way Dolly Chugh talks about what she calls “ordinary privilege” as the ability to forget about aspects of who you are because they represent the majority demographics of your country or organization. You can find out more in her book, The Person You Mean to Be.
11. Ella F. Washington, Alison Hall Birch, and Laura Morgan Roberts, “When and How to Respond to Microaggressions,” Harvard Business Review, July 3, 2020, https://hbr.org/2020/07/when-and-how-to-respond-to-microaggressions.
12. Monnica T. Williams, “Microaggressions: Clarification, Evidence, and Impact,” Perspectives on Psychological Science 15, no. 1 (January 2020): 3–26, https://doi.org/10.1177%2F1745691619827499.
13. Adwoa Bagalini, “5 Ways Racism Is Bad for Business–and What We Can Do About It,” World Economic Forum, July 14, 2020, https://www.weforum.org/agenda/2020/07/racism-bad-for-business-equality-diversity/.
14. Stephen Ashe and James Nazroo, “Why It’s Time to Address Workplace Racism as a Matter of Health and Safety,” Manchester Policy Blogs, University of Manchester, April 19, 2018, http://blog.policy.manchester.ac.uk/posts/2018/04/why-its-time-to-address-workplace-racism-as-a-matter-of-health-and-safety/.
15. Author interview with Ruchika Tulshyan, February 9, 2021.
16. Kristen P. Jones et al., “Not So Subtle: A Meta-Analytic Investigation of the Correlates of Subtle and Overt Discrimination,” Journal of Management 42, no. 6 (September 2016): 1588–1613, https://doi.org/10.1177/0149206313506466.
17. Eden King and Kristen Jones, “Why Subtle Bias Is So Often Worse Than Blatant Discrimination,” Harvard Business Review, July 13, 2016, https://hbr.org/2016/07/why-subtle-bias-is-so-often-worse-than-blatant-discrimination.
18. Bagalini, “5 Ways Racism Is Bad for Business.”
19. Author interview with Aneeta Rattan, February 12, 2021.
20. Heather M. Rasinski and Alexander M. Czopp, “The Effect of Target Status on Witnesses’ Reactions to Confrontations of Bias,” Basic and Applied Social Psychology 32, no. 1 (February 2010): 8–16, https://doi.org/10.1080/01973530903539754.
21. Linn Van Dyne and Jeffrey A. LePine, “Helping and Voice Extra-Role Behaviors: Evidence of Construct and Predictive Validity,” Academy of Management Journal 41, no. 1 (February 1998): 108–19, https://www.jstor.org/stable/256902?seq=1; Janet Swim and Lauri L. Hyers, “Excuse Me—What Did You Just Say?!: Women’s Public and Private Responses to Sexist Remarks,” Journal of Experimental Social Psychology 35, no. 1: 68–88, https://doi.org/10.1006/jesp.1998.1370.
22. A. M. Czopp and Leslie Ashburn-Nardo, “Interpersonal Confrontations of Prejudice,” Psychology of Prejudice: Interdisciplinary Perspectives on Contemporary Issues (January 2012): 175–202, https://www.researchgate.net/publication/285966720_Interpersonal_confrontations_of_prejudice.
23. Author interview with Ruchika Tulshyan, February 9, 2021.
24. Washington, Birch, and Roberts, “When and How to Respond to Microaggressions.”
25. Author interview with Dolly Chugh, April 22, 2021.
26. Author interview with Aneeta Rattan, February 12, 2021.
27. Amy Gallo, “How to Respond to an Offensive Comment at Work,” Harvard Business Review, February 8, 2017, https://hbr.org/2017/02/how-to-respond-to-an-offensive-comment-at-work.
28. Washington, Birch, and Roberts, “When and How to Respond to Microaggressions.”
29. Author interview with Dolly Chugh, April 22, 2021.
30. Juliet Eilperin, “White House Women Want to Be in the Room Where It Happens,” Washington Post, September 13, 2016, https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/powerpost/wp/2016/09/13/white-house-women-are-now-in-the-room-where-it-happens/.
31. James R. Detert and Ethan Burris, “When It’s Tough to Speak Up, Get Help from Your Coworkers,” Harvard Business Review, March 4, 2016, https://hbr.org/2016/03/when-its-tough-to-speak-up-get-help-from-your-coworkers.
Chapter 10
1. Tomas Chamorro-Premuzic, “The Underlying Psychology of Office Politics,” Harvard Business Review, December 25, 2014, https://hbr.org/2014/12/the-underlying-psychology-of-office-politics.
2. Rob Cross, Reb Rebele, and Adam Grant, “Collaborative Overload,” Harvard Business Review, January–February 2016, https://hbr.org/2016/01/collaborative-overload.
3. Robert Half, “Game On! How to Navigate Office Politics to Win,” The Robert Half Blog, October 12, 2016, https://www.roberthalf.com/blog/salaries-and-skills/game-on-how-to-navigate-office-politics-to-win.
4. Takuma Kimura, “A Review of Political Skill: Current Research Trend and Directions for Future Research,” International Journal of Management Reviews 17, no. 3 (July 2015): 312–32, https://doi.org/10.1111/ijmr.12041.
5. Pamela L. Perrewé et al., “Political Skill: An Antidote for Workplace Stressors,” Academy of Management Executive 14, no. 3 (August 2000): 115–23, https://www.jstor.org/stable/4165664?seq=1.
6. Emily Stone, “Why Bad Bosses Sabotage Their Teams,” Kellog Insight (blog), January 5, 2015, https://insight.kellogg.northwestern.edu/article/why-bad-bosses-sabotage-their-teams.
7. Kathryn Heath, “4 Strategies for Women Navigating Office Politics,” Harvard Business Review, January 14, 2015, https://hbr.org/2015/01/4-strategies-for-women-navigating-office-politics; Pamela L. Perrewé and Debra L. Nelson, “Gender and Career Success: The Facilitative Role of Political Skill,” Organizational Dynamics 33, no. 4 (December 2004): 366–78, https://doi.org/10.1016/j.orgdyn.2004.09.004.
8. Michelle King, David Denyer, and Emma Parry, “Is Office Politics a White Man’s Game?,” Harvard Business Review, September 12, 2018, https://hbr.org/2018/09/is-office-politics-a-white-mans-game.
9. Kathryn Heath, “3 Simple Ways for Women to Rethink Office Politics and Wield More Influence at Work,” Harvard Business Review, December 18, 2017, https://hbr.org/2017/12/3-simple-ways-for-women-to-rethink-office-politics-and-wield-more-influence-at-work.
10. Author interview with Nancy Halpern, February 16, 2021.
11. Giuseppe “Joe” Labianca, “Defend Your Research: It’s Not ‘Unprofessional’ to Gossip at Work,” Harvard Business Review, September 2020, https://hbr.org/2010/09/defend-your-research-its-not-unprofessional-to-gossip-at-work.
12. Nancy B. Kurland and Lisa Hope Pelled, “Passing the Word: Toward a Model of Gossip and Power in the Workplace,” Academy of Management Review 25, no. 2 (April 2000): 428–39, https://doi.org/10.5465/amr.2000.3312928.
13. Author interview with Nancy Halpern, February 16, 2021.
14. Marc J. Lerchenmueller, Olav Sorenson, and Anupam B. Jena, “Research: How Women Undersell Their Work,” Harvard Business Review, December 20, 2019, https://hbr.org/2019/12/research-how-women-undersell-their-work; Christine Exley and Judd Kessler, “Why Don’t Women Self-Promote as Much as Men?,” Harvard Business Review, December 19, 2019, https://hbr.org/2019/12/why-dont-women-self-promote-as-much-as-men.
15. Katie Liljenquist and Adam D. Galinsky, “Win Over an Opponent by Asking for Advice,” Harvard Business Review, June 27, 2014, https://hbr.org/2014/06/win-over-an-opponent-by-asking-for-advice.
Chapter 11
1. Adam Grant, “The Science of Reasoning with Unreasonable People,” New York Times, January 31, 2021, https://www.nytimes.com/2021/01/31/opinion/change-someones-mind.html.
2. Lee Ross and Andrew Ward, “Naive Realism in Everyday Life: Implications for Social Conflict and Misunderstanding,” in Values and Knowledge, eds. Edward S. Reed, Elliot Turiel, and Terrance Brown (Mahwah, NJ: Lawrence Erlbaum Associates, 1996), 103–35.
3. Elizabeth Louise Newton, “The Rocky Road from Actions to Intentions,” PhD diss., Stanford University, 1990, https://creatorsvancouver.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/06/rocky-road-from-actions-to-intentions.pdf.
4. Katie Shonk, “Principled Negotiation: Focus on Interests to Create Value,” Harvard Law School Program on Negotiation, blog, September 27, 2021, https://www.pon.harvard.edu/daily/negotiation-skills-daily/principled-negotiation-focus-interests-create-value/.
5. Phyllis Korkki, “Conflict at Work? Empathy Can Smooth Ruffled Feathers,” New York Times, October 8, 2016, https://www.nytimes.com/2016/10/09/jobs/conflict-at-work-empathy-can-smooth-ruffled-feathers.html.
6. Author interview with Gabrielle Adams, January 12, 2021.
7. Gabrielle S. Adams and M. Ena Inesi, “Impediments to Forgiveness: Victim and Transgressor Attributions of Intent and Guilt,” Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 111, no. 6 (2016): 866, https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/27537273/.
8. Mark Murphy, “Neuroscience Explains Why You Need to Write Down Your Goals If You Actually Want to Achieve Them,” Forbes, April 15, 2018, https://www.forbes.com/sites/markmurphy/2018/04/15/neuroscience-explains-why-you-need-to-write-down-your-goals-if-you-actually-want-to-achieve-them/.
9. Matthew Feinberg, Robb Willer, and Michael Schultz, “Gossip and Ostracism Promote Cooperation in Groups,” Psychological Science 25, no. 3 (January 2014): 656–64, https://doi.org/10.1177/0956797613510184.
10. Junhui Wu, Daniel Balliet, and Paul A. M. Van Lange, “Gossip Versus Punishment: The Efficiency of Reputation to Promote and Maintain Cooperation,” Scientific Reports 6, no. 1 (April 2016), https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4819221/.
11. Jennifer Goldman-Wetzler, Optimal Outcomes: Free Yourself from Conflict at Work, at Home, and in Life (New York: HarperCollins, 2020).
12. Francesca Gino, “The Business Case for Curiosity,” Harvard Business Review, September–October 2018, https://hbr.org/2018/09/the-business-case-for-curiosity.
13. Salvador Minuchin, Michael D. Reiter, and Charmaine Borda, The Craft of Family Therapy: Challenging Certainties (New York: Routledge, 2013).
Chapter 12
1. Nedra Glover Tawwab, Set Boundaries, Find Peace: A Guide to Reclaiming Yourself (New York: TarcherPerigee, 2021).
2. Michelle Gielan, Broadcasting Happiness: The Science of Igniting and Sustaining Positive Change (New York: Gildan Media, 2015).
3. Justin M. Berg, Jane E. Dutton, and Amy Wrzesniewski, “What Is Job Crafting and Why Does It Matter?,” University of Michigan Stephen M. Ross School of Business Center for Positive Organizational Scholarship, last modified August 1, 2008, https://positiveorgs.bus.umich.edu/wp-content/uploads/What-is-Job-Crafting-and-Why-Does-it-Matter1.pdf.
4. Jane E. Dutton and Amy Wrzesniewski, “What Job Crafting Looks Like,” Harvard Business Review, March 12, 2020, https://hbr.org/2020/03/what-job-crafting-looks-like.
5. Author interview with Robert Sutton, January 29, 2021.
6. Christine Porath and Christine Pearson, “The Price of Incivility,” Harvard Business Review, January–February 2013, https://hbr.org/2013/01/the-price-of-incivility.
7. Boris Groysberg and Robin Abrahams, “Managing Yourself: Five Ways to Bungle a Job Change,” Harvard Business Review, January–February 2010, https://hbr.org/2010/01/managing-yourself-five-ways-to-bungle-a-job-change.
Chapter 13
1. Susan David, “Manage a Difficult Conversation with Emotional Intelligence,” Harvard Business Review, June 19, 2014, https://hbr.org/2014/06/manage-a-difficult-conversation-with-emotional-intelligence.
2. David, “Manage a Difficult Conversation.”
3. Author interview with Caroline Webb, February 21, 2021.
4. Brett J. Peters, Nickola C. Overall, and Jeremy P. Jamieson, “Physiological and Cognitive Consequences of Suppressing and Expressing Emotion in Dyadic Interactions,” International Journal of Psychophysiology 94, no. 1 (October 2014): 100–7, http://www.psych.rochester.edu/research/jamiesonlab/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/peters.pdf.
5. Author interview with Robert Sutton, January 29, 2021.
6. Brené Brown, “Shame vs. Guilt,” Brené Brown, blog, January 15, 2013, https://brenebrown.com/blog/2013/01/14/shame-v-guilt/.
7. Author interview with Caroline Webb, February 21, 2021.
Chapter 14
1. Annie McKee, “Keep Your Company’s Toxic Culture from Infecting Your Team,” Harvard Business Review, April 29, 2019, https://hbr.org/2019/04/keep-your-companys-toxic-culture-from-infecting-your-team.
2. Christine Porath, “An Antidote to Incivility,” Harvard Business Review, April 2016, https://hbr.org/2016/04/an-antidote-to-incivility.
3. Amy Jen Su, “6 Ways to Weave Self-Care into Your Workday,” Harvard Business Review, June 19, 2017, https://hbr.org/2017/06/6-ways-to-weave-self-care-into-your-workday.
4. Tony Cassidy, Marian McLaughlin, and Melanie Giles, “Benefit Finding in Response to General Life Stress: Measurement and Correlates,” Health Psychology and Behavioral Medicine 2, no. 1 (March 2014): 268–82, https://doi.org/10.1080/21642850.2014.889570.
5. Author interview with Kelly Greenwood, March 2, 2021.
6. Rich Fernandez and Steph Stern, “Self-Compassion Will Make You a Better Leader,” Harvard Business Review, November 9, 2020, https://hbr.org/2020/11/self-compassion-will-make-you-a-better-leader; Serena Chen, “Give Yourself a Break: The Power of Self-Compassion,” Harvard Business Review, September–October 2018, https://hbr.org/2018/09/give-yourself-a-break-the-power-of-self-compassion.
7. Kristin Neff, “The Three Elements of Self-Compassion,” Self-Compassion, blog, accessed December 18, 2021, https://self-compassion.org/the-three-elements-of-self-compassion-2/#3elements.