Chapter 3

You can change

Neuroplasticity

As stated in the introduction, the accepted wisdom, until fairly recently, was that, once we reached adulthood, our brains and, therefore our personality and our identity had become fixed. Now we know, thanks to neuroscience, that we can remould our brain through the entirety of our life, and we know (and are continually learning more) about how the process works.¹ This means that we can change, and therefore choose, the way our mind thinks. We can change, and therefore choose, the way we experience the world. We can build new neural pathways in the brain that will take us towards the person that we want to be.

This magnificent ability is called neuroplasticity. I (BW) still remember my breath being taken away when I encountered the concept for the first time. In the 1990s, scientists recognised the ingenious ability of the central nervous system to repair itself after brain injury.² If these newly wired pathways were responsible for recovery, then it must mean that we continue to build new pathways through our adult life with all the ramifications for memory and new learning. Almost nothing outside of function related to survival is hard-wired.

We can change what we are thinking about, and the way we are thinking about it, and, by changing our thoughts, we can change our emotions and the patterns that seem to control our lives. We can change the way we feel about things that have always scared us. We can coach ourselves to be able to do the things we have long believed we can’t. We can give a presentation confidently, overcome a fear of spiders, stride into a room and confidently hold our own at a party, if that’s the thing we really want. If ever there was a magic wand that can cause real and lasting transformation, isn’t it this?

It’s true that it doesn’t magic away the terrors and traumas of the external world but, if this is what comes into your mind, then just maybe you can remove the blocks that have always stopped you doing your bit to help. The spider still exists but the breeds that inhabit our skirting boards will not harm you. Go positively into the party for the room is yours.

Neuroplasticity is the process that allows the ABC Model³ that we will look at in Chapter 4 to be effective at the deepest possible level. You can identify the beliefs that have stopped you from being the person you could be, challenge and change them. And you can do this because the process already exists, built into the workings of the brain.

How Neuroplasticity works

The brain contains billions of nerve cells called neurons that transmit signals to and from the brain. When the neurons connect, they create -highways for the nerve signals (messages) to travel along. Basically, if a path is used often, the brain rebuilds itself to make the journey easier. If neurons are fired often at the same time as other neurons, then patterns form and pathways are created. For example, if you connect the smell of lavender with your great aunt Marge, it is likely that neurons relating to the image and the smell will fire together when you remember her, and a pathway will be formed. There is a phrase for it that we really like, ‘neurons that fire together wire together’.⁴

Many pathways were created when we were children, formed by parental influence and youthful experience, and we continue to use them into adulthood. That’s fine if the pathway is a positive belief or attitude. But there will be pathways formed by an unpleasant experience or a perceived trauma and these pathways will be making it hard for us to implement the changes that we know rationally would benefit us. This is because the brain will, under its own steam, take the most used, strongest pathway, the route of least resistance. These pathways might be telling us:

• I can’t
• They should
• I must

We will look at these patterns of thinking later in the book.

We know now that we can build new neural pathways. When you learn something new or begin to adopt a new way of thinking about an issue, or about yourself or the wider world, your brain creates new neural pathways to facilitate this learning.

At first, your new pathway is fragile, a tentative track rather than a robust highway. But, as you use it more and more, it becomes strong and, if it is a pathway of a changed habit, eventually it takes over as the main thoroughfare, the route of least resistance.

An intellectual understanding will develop around the new habit; you know rationally that this works, this is helpful to you and will bring positive change to your life. Gradually, this becomes an emotional understanding; you feel it to be true, it fits the way you see yourself and it makes you happy.

How quickly and how deeply new habits embed depends on repetition and vigour – emotional commitment and investment. With these it generally it takes about six weeks. That’s why our follow-up programme at the back of the book lasts this long.

It really does mean that there is no place for resignation and no need to settle for second best. Throughout time, nothing has gripped our imagination so much as the power to transform, from chrysalis into butterfly in nature, from base metal into gold in science and philosophy. Science has shown us now that transformation is a power that each and every one of us possesses.

Of course, there is only one magic wand and it is you. You can achieve real and lasting change if you want it enough.

Now, we don’t know what you put on the list and some things might be unachievable. But we can certainly achieve extraordinary things. It just takes practice. It is the only effective method so far found. Interestingly though, struggle within the practice is good; it can speed up the process. Don’t worry if it sometimes feels hard.

The magnitude of what can be achieved by CBT (using Neuroplasticity) in the treatment of long-term complex disorders is extraordinary. Therapies can be effective with people with the most profound PTSD,⁵ for example soldiers returning from active service who have experienced traumas most of us would find hard to imagine. It is used every day in clinics around the world to treat depression, personality disorders and psychosis. It is also used to address addictions and phobias. And it works.

How easy is it to change?

What does it take to make it work? As we’ve said, it takes practice and commitment. You have to want to change. What it doesn’t take is time. At least, not the kind of time that has to be fitted into an already bulging schedule. The title of this book is Unlock You, and we genuinely believe that, once you have embedded all the techniques into your daily life, all it will take is five minutes at the beginning and end of each day to do active development work, to make sure you keep moving in the right direction. What it does take is the kind of time that you have plenty of because your brain and you are together 24/7.

At the beginning it will be a conscious process. You will become aware that the moments when your brain is less ‘occupied’, for example standing in a crowded train, waiting in a supermarket queue, are the times when you are likely to trundle off into the list of things you haven’t done and let the ANTs make mush of your resolutions. Gradually, you will come to fill these ‘gaps’ with positive thoughts, positive self-talk and affirmations – all the things that get you stepping off the train in a better state than when you got on.

As time passes, you will become less and less aware of being on ANT repulsion duty. Your new positive thoughts will be a sufficient guard for any lurking fears or worries. The new pathways will be those most used, the routes of least resistance.

Why do you want to change? Who do you want to be?

Before we look, in the next chapter, at identifying beliefs, challenging and changing them, using the wonderful world of neuroplasticity, let’s step back for a minute and ask the big question. ‘Who do you want to be?’ Now that we know we can change our brain in ways that will change our thoughts, emotions and values – essentially our identity, our personality – which is the you that you want to be?

Some of you will never have thought about it. And it’s likely that the way we think about our goals and ambitions will have become as much of a habit, a neural pathway, as anything else. We probably have something that we reel off at the odd social occasion if someone asks us:

‘I’m working my way to being a partner in the firm.’

‘Of course, I’d rather be my own boss.’

‘I come from a big family, so I’d like to have lots of kids.’

‘I’d like to go back into acting one day.’

And each time we say this, we consolidate a vision of ourselves that we may not have even considered, let alone challenged for years. If you have one of these ‘visions’, now is the time to give it a shake and see if it’s still fit for purpose. Is that what you really want for yourself? Is that the you you’d like to be?

Adaptive Behaviour

Science also shows us that we can prepare our brain to be disposed to build new habits and behaviour by making continual changes. It’s called Adaptive Behaviour. A brain that is used to constant change, however small, builds new pathways more easily.

To use the ABC Model to challenge and change your beliefs, and to move from non-constructive to constructive tendencies or habits, is Adaptive Behaviour. The more you can build change into your life, the easier this will be to do.

There is also evidence that a brain that is used to small changes copes much more effectively with a sudden big change or crisis.

We are, most of us, creatures of habit. We like to put the tea in before the milk or the milk in before the tea. We’ll tie our shoes right and then left or left and then right. We have our ways, our routes. There are probably roads close to where you live that you have never travelled. In our training sessions, we ask people to take their watches or bracelets off and put them on the other wrist. You’d be amazed at how much discomfort this can cause. Try it now if you are wearing one. We’ve had numerous people say, ‘But I don’t feel like me!’ And anybody who has kicked a habit such as smoking will know that one of the most powerful sensations that has to be overcome is the feeling that you have lost or given up something that made you you, perhaps even lost a part of ‘yourself’.

That the method of reducing the habit-led disorientation is to do more of the same (for example more of the not smoking) feels counterintuitive. There can be a very strong sense of unease or restlessness. Then when the pathway becomes strong you feel settled again, comfortable with your brain, comfortable in your skin. Not that you will be the same you, but perhaps a happier, more contented you, if you have changed a negative habit or belief for one that is more positive. It is a step along the journey of merging your habitual behaviour with your meaning and goals. A step towards becoming the person that you want to be.

If making constant small changes is a way of preparing our brains to be more ‘plastic’, it’s important that it’s a way of life that we commit to. And, actually, most people report that it makes them feel younger, more adventurous, more alive. Even the act of actively looking for things you want to change may give us an enticing sense of freedom, of shaking off shackles.

Adaptive Behaviour and Dementia Prevention

There’s one more really good reason to start making small and constant changes. There is now some really solid research linking Adaptive Behaviour with dementia prevention.

Scientists believe that what causes Alzheimer’s is a build-up of beta-amyloids at synapses, eventually causing them to break down.⁶ Synapses are where neurons meet or nearly meet allowing electrical and chemical signals to pass between them, allowing us to think, feel and remember. Beta-amyloids are protein fragments that clump into plaques, leading to nerve cell death. Key features of Alzheimer’s are wholesale loss of synapses and a parallel deterioration of brain function, notably in the ability to remember.

But if you are constantly learning, doing new things and meeting new people, there will be new synapses being formed. This bank of functioning synapses is called Cognitive Reserve. You will not need to rely only on those connections that are breaking down.

It seems to be especially effective if the new experiences are rich and involve emotions as well as thoughts. It is important to note that we are talking about new learning. It’s not enough to do crossword puzzles; these are retrieving old information and not about new learning, new experience. If we are looking to develop our Mind Fitness, then building Cognitive Reserve should be part of that plan. If we hit the difficult age and we’re Mind Fit, if we have deeply embedded positive techniques, it puts us into a much stronger position to cope with the changes in brain function.

Conclusion

Once or twice in training sessions we’ve had people say ‘Well this is marvellous, what’s the catch?’ There isn’t a catch, but there is one aspect of Neuroplasticity that perhaps should give us pause for thought. It leads us to believe that there are pressing reasons for us to rewire our brains and change our behaviours that are bigger than our individual ambitions and even our meaning. We know now that everything we think, do and experience affects our brain on a chemical, structural and functional level. We and our brains are constantly shaped by the world around us. This means that we have the enormous potential of positively affecting huge numbers of other people by the things we say and do. That, of course, is brilliant. But the opposite is also true.

While positive relational experiences, the way we react with others in a million ways, will help them be strong, confident and happy, negative relational experiences will have the opposite detrimental effect. Understanding how the brain works places a new responsibility on us all. It’s no longer enough that we didn’t mean to cause offence or hurt. If the other person has experienced that hurt or offence, the damage has been done. And in today’s world we don’t even have to be there, it can be a message that we sent online or posted on social media.

It’s just another reason to make sure that you use this book to become calm, confident and happy. The benefit of these changes will be felt by those you love and a host of other people with whom you interact in your daily life.

And just think, the three chapters that you have already read, the exercises you have already done and the you that you have imagined, will already have changed your brain. You have already begun to build the brain you want.