DALE CARNEGIE ON HOW PEOPLE KNOW YOU
Use this to manage the impact you have on others.
Dale Carnegie (1888–1955), author and businessman, was interested in how people interacted with others and why some seemed to be more effective at influencing people than others. He suggested that:
There are four ways, and only four ways, in which we have contact with the world. We are evaluated and classified by these four contacts: what we do, how we look, what we say and how we say it.
Dale Carnegie
Given that we have only five senses, it is not surprising that we judge people based upon what we see, their actions and appearances, and what we hear, what they say and how they sound. Very occasionally, we might judge someone by how they smell if their body odour or perfume/aftershave overpowers us and renders us senseless!
WHAT TO DO
- In prehistoric times, the ability to judge someone instantly was literally a matter of life or death. If you came across a stranger in the jungle, you had seconds to decide whether they were a friend or someone who’d imbed an axe in your head. Today, we continue to form opinions about people even before they open their mouths. Subconsciously, we’re asking ourselves: is this person one of us? Therefore, at work, dress and act appropriately. What that means will vary between organisations and sectors, but you’ll quickly pick up on what is required. If it’s your first day and you are unsure, smart, stylish and conservative is probably the best bet.
- It’s not so long ago that people were judged according to their accents. Thankfully, since the 1990s, this barrier has broken down and we celebrate the diversity of accents. Whatever your accent, it’s essential that you are able to speak clear, grammatical English. If people can’t hear or understand what you are saying, how can you possibly influence them? Don’t mumble, look at the person you’re speaking to, speak loud enough to be heard and always speak with confidence (see Quotation 14).
- What you have to say is obviously important. If you are talking nonsense, even if you speak beautifully, you’ll still look like a fool. Never speak unless you know what you are talking about. Too many people pass opinions on subjects they know nothing about and end up sounding like dilettantes and amateurs when the experts step in to correct or rebut their arguments. Your credibility is a precious commodity and you need to protect it at all times.
- As for what to do, develop a professional image based on integrity. People respect, listen to and follow those they trust. If, through your actions, you demonstrate that you treat people with respect, equality and fairness and that you will never exploit them or their ideas for your own benefit, you will quickly establish a reputation for integrity.
- Alongside your reputation for integrity, you need to build a reputation for getting things done or doing things differently from other managers. Always underpromise, ‘I’ll get the job done by Friday’ and overdeliver, i.e. finish the job by Thursday (see Quotation 79).
QUESTIONS TO ASK
- Do I know how others perceive me? Have I ever asked friends or colleagues how I come across to other people?
- Am I too quick to jump to conclusions about people based on how they look or sound?