A Final Word

All this talk about courtesy, sensitivity, and good manners! Is it really necessary to “go by the book” in all the situations that we’ve explored?

Actually, the major purpose of the “how to’s” of handling various situations is to get you thinking innovatively and wisely about how to treat other people in good times, bad times, and stressful, confusing times.

Focus on the ideas presented here that work for you, and make a habit of applying them. You will be ahead of the game in the way you present yourself to the many different people with whom you interact daily, monthly, annually, or even only once. The action plan at the end of each chapter is intended to help you think about the issues and assist you in crafting your own personal plan. Of course, you won’t create an action plan for every topic in the book, but if a particular chapter hits home or presents potential for your development, writing down your intentions or goals will help you achieve them faster.

As you may already be aware, courtesy creates a domino effect. Your behavior won’t just benefit the person you treat well; that person will most likely remember your kindness the next time he or she is on the opposite end of a similar situation and behave accordingly. In addition, your act of courtesy may prompt the receiver of that act to “pass it on.” Eventually, we might all discover that being courteous is more rewarding and less taxing than being rude.

Rules of civility aren’t intended to make you pompous or uptight. Indeed, they grew out of society’s need to make the world a fairer, kinder, more comfortable place to live. Be ingenious and innovative in the way you apply the rules to your own circumstances. As one practice becomes irrelevant or outdated, come up with a version that meets current needs but keeps alive the essential spirit of the principle. Ultimately, all the guidelines on how to behave properly in any social situation come down to a simple principle: treat others in a manner that values everyone and denigrates no one.

Becoming the person who seems to handle any situation with grace and confidence will get you noticed for the right reasons. And once the spotlight is on you, you can leverage your intelligence, your training, and your creativity to help you achieve your goals.