CHAPTER 14
Think Before You Send
Without question, e-mail is one of the great conveniences of modern society. At the same time, it can be overwhelming and intrusive, threatening to wash us overboard with its sheer volume and persistence. But however we feel about it, electronic mail is a fact of life in business and is a growing presence in our personal lives.
Communicating by e-mail has become the status quo in our wired society, and for good reason. Its advantages are many. Perhaps most obvious is its speed. With the click of a key, you can send a message from California to Cairo—unhampered by time zones and office hours and charges for long-distance calling. Far fewer rambling voice mails end up in our phone mailboxes, and telephone tag is no longer one of the leading nuisances at work. You can read or send messages at 3:00 A.M. on Saturday if you wish, and before you head out of the office for the day, you can let everyone in the company know about the upcoming company picnic as easily as you tell a single person.
Further, e-mail has contributed to developing the flatter, more egalitarian organization, which most companies advocate. Employees typically feel more comfortable e-mailing someone in upper management than they would calling that person or knocking on his or her door for a conversation. E-mail also makes it easier to share information, whether it’s between team members, within a single department, or to every staff member in a global company. With e-mail, it’s easier to keep people in the know and harder for people to claim that they “didn’t get the word.”
E-Mail Can Be Tricky Business
With all its advantages, one might come to believe that e-mail is the greatest thing in organizational communication since the ball point pen. So why do so many people mention e-mail as one of the major communication problems in their workplace?
Because of the speed with which they can be created and their lack of formality, day-to-day e-mails can easily cause problems, misinform, waste time, and reflect poorly on the sender. Part of the problem lies in the fact that e-mail is a hybrid communication medium. It combines the spontaneity and informality of spoken communication (without the body language and vocal cues) with the permanence of written communication.
One of the advantages of written communication lies in the writer’s ability to spend the necessary time crafting a message that says what he or she really intends to say—through drafting, editing, and proofreading. It enables the writer to translate his or her thoughts into a clear, precise, and readable message that addresses all of the issues, contains the correct tone, and elicits the desired information or response from the recipient.
However, many people seem to forget that e-mail is, in fact, written communication, and, consequently, treat it much less carefully. Workplace e-mail messages often contain terse and offhand remarks and project a flippant attitude that is sometimes excessive, even bordering on the unprofessional. Those who write the e-mails often seem to be overlooking how their message is coming across to the receiver. Further, when composing e-mails, many people don’t seem to be nearly as concerned with structure and correctness as they would be when putting something on paper. This attitude is ironic because often many more people see an e-mail than would ever see a hard copy of a memo or letter because it’s so easy for the recipient to forward an e-mail to anyone he or she chooses.
Here are some common-sense suggestions for ways to maximize the advantages of e-mail and avoid turning it into an obstacle to your success.
Know the receiver’s communication preference. Some people still prefer other forms of communication over e-mail, often because the sheer number of e-mails (many of which are company-wide or information-only messages) causes specific messages to get lost in the crowd.
I recently spoke on the telephone with a middle manager in a large utility company who remarked that he was, at that moment, looking at 139 unopened e-mails on his computer—and that was just for the current day. “I don’t have any intention of going through them until much later,” he said. “And I will delete most of them. If you really want to get a message to me, call me. I’ll answer the phone if I’m there, and I always return my voice mails.” Other people print their e-mails and read them from hard copy. If you know that’s occurring with someone you regularly e-mail, consider sending a fax. You will have a better chance of getting your message through if you know your receiver’s communication preferences.
Consider the reader’s disposition and perspective. Another tricky feature of written communication lies in the fact that the message is static once it’s sent. Unlike spoken messages, which you can quickly modify if you see the receiver getting annoyed or displeased, your written messages are vulnerable to the reader’s mood, existing perceptions, and attitudes toward the subject—and toward you.
The more difficult or complex the message is, the greater the opportunity for confusion, misinterpretation, or anger. If you find yourself struggling with the choice of words and the phrases as you write the e-mail, chances are you’re dealing with a message that would work better in another form. Choose another medium, preferably face to face, but at the very least consider making a telephone call, so that you can explain yourself and the other person can ask questions or clarify.
Know that an e-mail can come across in unintended ways. Sometimes, perhaps because you sent the message off hurriedly, or even because the receiver is not in the best of moods, an e-mail you send can be interpreted entirely differently than what you had in mind. In reply, the recipient may send a surly message or otherwise show his or her irritation.
Your first reaction, upon receiving it, may be to fire back a real zinger to justify or defend yourself. However, the wise choice may be to nip that exchange in the bud by changing the medium immediately. Pick up the telephone or, if possible, go to that person’s office or cubicle and talk through the matter. Apologize for the misunderstanding, if necessary. The longer the tension festers, the bigger deal it will be. Catch it early, and both of you will forget it quickly.
Review before you send. Even if you don’t consider the e-mail sensitive, review it a couple of times before you send it to make sure that your tone isn’t brusque or demanding. Often something as simple as putting the word “please” in front of a sentence will soften the tone. If after reviewing the e-mail you’re still uncertain about how it will be received, put it in the “Drafts” folder for a while. When you go back to it later, you can look at it with a fresh eye and judge it more objectively. If you’re still not sure, consider having someone else take a look at it before you send it.
You should exercise the same care when you are replying to a message. Also, along with reviewing your message for the appropriate tone, make sure that your reply answers all the questions or addresses the issues the sender raised. Some time ago, I wrote an e-mail asking four specific questions to a woman at an organization where I was going to conduct a class on business writing. She responded with an answer to two of them. I sent her another e-mail, thanking her for her response but repeating the two unanswered questions. Her reply answered one of the two, with no reference to the other question. I gave up without an answer to the fourth question and prepared for an either/or situation.
Less formality doesn’t mean anything goes. E-mail’s informality and conversational style can make the message readable and personal, but don’t confuse informality with carelessness. As in any written communication, the errors can stay around to haunt you for a long time. While most people are more tolerant of the occasional typo in e-mail messages, they will notice consistent violations of spelling, grammar, and structure, and their opinion of you will doubtless be influenced by it. Use standard punctuation and capitalization, and edit your e-mails carefully for grammar, punctuation, and spelling. (Don’t forget to use the spell check feature, but don’t rely on it completely.) Remember that punctuation misuse can change the meaning of your sentence altogether. Note how punctuation changes the meanings of the following sentences:
A woman without her man is nothing.
A woman: without her, man is nothing.
Get the picture?
Also keep in mind that using all caps in your e-mails is a no-no. I hear frequent complaints about e-mails written in all caps. Use of all caps gives the impression that the sender is shouting. However, a more practical reason for not using all capital letters is that they are harder to read. Reading involves visually collecting the symbols on the page and telegraphing them to the brain. Since all caps are similar in height and width, sorting the information and getting it to its destination takes longer. In fact, all caps can slow reading time by as much as 15 percent.
Similarly, writing in all lower case is not desirable either, since we are accustomed to seeing sentences and proper nouns start with capital letters.
Use sarcasm, humor, or jargon sparingly—if at all. Being conversational also includes the temptation to use humor, sarcasm, or industry jargon, sometimes excessively. Remember that in written communication, you depend entirely on the words; you don’t have the support from your voice and body language to reinforce that you were only kidding when you made that stinging comment. All the receiver of the message has to work with is your words and his or her interpretation. For that reason, writing in a straightforward manner is a smart move.
Even if you follow your biting or sarcastic remarks with emoticons, the little icons that signify emotions, such as the colon followed by the right parenthesis to indicate a smiley face, you may still come across as condescending or insincere. Limit or avoid any remarks that your reader may misinterpret—particularly if you don’t know that person well.
Use the same courtesy you would in face-to-face conversation or a formal letter. “Please,” “thank you,” “I hope you’re well,” and “Have a nice weekend” are little touches that don’t take much time but put a thoughtful, human face on your message. Think of what you would be saying to that person if you were having a “live” conversation, and use the same courtesies that you would in that situation. Although taking the time to be courteous may sound trivial, or even condescending, many people who are normally polite seem to forget their manners when sending e-mails.
And while we’re on the subject of courtesy, use courtesy titles if you are e-mailing someone for the first time. If “Mr. Gray” wants you to call him “Tom,” he can let you know that by signing his reply with just his first name. Even if you feel comfortable using someone’s first name, avoid assuming that the person responds to a nickname. Charles may not want to be “Chuck,” David may hate “Dave,” and Gwendolyn may not like “Gwen.” People’s names are extremely important to them; don’t take liberties with them.
Don’t circulate e-mails with offensive or defamatory content. If you receive such e-mails, delete them immediately, and politely ask the sender not to send any more to you. Having those e-mails in your inbox could cause problems for both you and your organization, particularly if you work for a large company.
Compose a clear subject line. If your e-mails are going to penetrate the gridlock of blast messages, general information, spam, and trivia, you need to take steps to get the reader’s attention. One way is to start with an attention-getting subject line. This “heads up” can let the receiver know what he or she can expect from the text that follows. Rather than a subject line such as “Our conversation” try “Answers to your question about next year’s training budget.” By jogging the reader’s memory and making the e-mail relevant, you improve your chances of getting a quick response if you need one. In addition, you make it easier for the recipient to identify the contents of the e-mail in the future, should he or she be searching for specific information.
Further, you should use the “Urgent” or “Important” designation with care. If you overdo it, you won’t get the reader’s attention when something is really urgent or important.
Opinions vary about whether to keep the thread of all the messages within a series of e-mails. You do that, of course, by hitting “Reply” rather than “New Message” to respond to the sender. Some people suggest that the person who sent the original message doesn’t need to see it again, but after a topic has gone back and forth a few times, over hours or even days, it’s often helpful to get the whole picture in one e-mail rather than having to go back to the inbox to reconstruct the history.
Keep your e-mail messages short—no more than a full screen. A long message will fall into the “I’ll read it later” category, which often translates to “never.” If you need to communicate a long message, send it in hard copy or attach it to the e-mail as a separate document. However, in the latter case, first make sure that your recipient has the software to open your attachment.
Respect each others’ privacy. Privacy is in short supply in a world of easily accessible information. Using electronic mail exposes you and your recipients to contacts they may not want. If you’re mailing to a list, use mail merge, or send the e-mail to yourself, with the mailing list as a blind carbon copy (bcc). That way none of the recipients will see each other’s e-mail addresses. Also out of respect for other’s privacy, always ask permission before forwarding another person’s e-mail. And never edit or change the original message. Sarah Myers McGinty, author of Power Talk: Using Language to Build Authority and Influence, suggests either summarizing the original e-mail or cutting and pasting a small section. When you’re the original sender of a message, and you don’t mind having the receiver forward it, indicate your permission at the beginning of the message.
Reply in a timely manner. One of the main attributes of e-mail is its immediacy. People send e-mails because they generally expect a quick response. Respond to your e-mails, preferably within the same business day but certainly within twenty-four hours. If you can’t deal with the e-mail’s content within that time, reply to the sender acknowledging that you received the message and stating when you will respond.
Use the “Reply to All” feature with care. Unless everyone who got the original e-mail really needs to see your reply, simply reply to the person who sent the e-mail. This practice helps avoid needless clutter in everyone else’s inbox.
Never reply to spam. Avoid becoming an appealing target to spammers by never responding to spam. Even when you send the “Remove me from the list” message, by opening and replying to spam you are confirming that you have a working e-mail address, exactly what the spammers want to know. Simply delete spam or use a program that filters it automatically.
Leverage the Advantages of E-Mail
Even though we all sometimes complain about how many e-mails we receive, e-mail offers a great opportunity to stay in touch with very little effort. If you are alert to its pitfalls and take the necessary steps to avoid careless wording or thoughtless comments, as well as unnecessarily flooding others with information they don’t need, you can use this tool to increase your visibility and impress others with your efficiency, expertise, and ability to share information. Handled effectively, e-mail can help you stay in the communication loop.
The Bottom Line
Communicating by e-mail has become the status quo.
E-mail has contributed to creating more egalitarian organizations.
Even with its advantages, e-mail is not a total communication solution.
Following certain guidelines will help you maximize the advantages and avoid the missteps of using e-mail in today’s business environment
Action Plan:
Over the next thirty days,
I will stop ___________________________________________________
I will start ___________________________________________________
I will continue ________________________________________________