CHAPTER 10

Travel Courtesy

Don’t Leave Home Without It

After a five-hour flight in a cramped seat, a ninety-minute layover turns into a four-hour delay. You’re tired, hungry, and will never make that morning meeting if the flight is delayed any more. The airport seats are uncomfortable and you’re surrounded by irate passengers. To top it all off, you are looking at three days of wall-to-wall meetings and business lunches and dinners. Let’s face it; travel is not your favorite part of the job.

Stressful at best and traumatic at worst, business travel often brings out our evil twin. We become ruder, less tolerant, and shorter-fused than we would normally allow ourselves to be. Perhaps it’s because we’re tired and uneasy about being in unfamiliar territory. Or perhaps we think that because we’re surrounded by people we’ll likely never see again, it really doesn’t matter how we behave.

Keeping the Skies Friendly

Much business travel today takes place on airplanes, which involves getting to the airport, negotiating our way through busy terminals, making it through security checks, and boarding planes that attempt to raise efficient use of space to an art form. In this arena of forced intimacy, it’s important not to lose sight of the importance of good manners. Not only will you avoid offending others, but also, in the end, you will have a more enjoyable—or at least less stressful—trip, because your outward behavior will influence your outlook and disposition. In addition, it’s likely that other people will behave more pleasantly toward you.

Most people who travel by air have two major complaints about their fellow passengers: they dislike those people who carry too much luggage onto the plane or whose luggage is too large to be comfortably accommodated, and those who want to strike up a conversation that lasts from coast to coast.

Here are some ways to minimize stress and make you a welcome travel companion.

Consider what you carry. There’s no doubt about it. Unless you travel first class, most airplanes are cramped with little room for baggage, but there are some things you can do to make it easier on yourself as well as others. Here are a few tips about carry-on baggage:

Make sure that you meet the size requirements; some airlines consider handbags part of the carry-on total.

If you need to use a particular piece of carry-on luggage during the flight, remember to put it underneath your seat so that you won’t have to open the bins en route and risk dumping a briefcase on another passenger’s head.

If you have a piece of rolling luggage, guide it carefully to avoid bumping the knees and elbows of people already seated.

Lend a hand if you see someone struggling with a bulky item.

Know when and how to end a conversation. In most cases, we can’t choose our seatmates in public transportation, and the issue of conversation frequently arises. Handling the situation with tact can pose a challenge, but enduring an unwanted situation can make that portion of your trip miserable.

If you’re seated next to chatty Kathy and you don’t feel like talking, politely tell the person that you have to get some work done, you need to get some sleep, or that you just can’t wait to see how the novel you’re reading ends. If the person has nothing to read, offer a paper or recommend an article in the airline magazine.

Remember, however, that some people talk from nervousness or outright fear of flying. If you suspect that this might be the case, take a few minutes to lend a bit of emotional support.

If you are the one who starts the conversation, be sensitive to signals that may indicate that your seatmate doesn’t want to talk. One-word answers to your questions and little eye contact, for example, should serve as a hint that you shouldn’t pursue the discussion.

Don’t be a nuisance. Avoid those little distractions or annoyances that may irritate people during the hours you’re together in close quarters. Look behind you before reclining your seat. If you chew gum, do it quietly. Use good table manners if you are on a flight that involves a meal. And go easy on the perfume or aftershave, or better still, don’t use it. Many people are allergic to the ingredients and may, consequently, arrive at their destination with a splitting headache.

Be courteous to people who work to make your trip comfortable. A lot of people work hard to make your trip as comfortable as possible. It’s good manners to let these hardworking people know that we appreciate them by thanking them for their efforts. For example, if a particular flight attendant has been especially helpful during your flight, mention it to the head flight attendant when you are deplaning.

Once You Land: Courtesy at Home or Abroad

As the world becomes increasingly small, business travel is as likely to mean a trip to Paris, France as it is to Paris, Texas. When traveling abroad, keep some basic rules in mind.

The Gracious Colleague

Remember that courtesy also applies to coworkers who are traveling with you. If you’re traveling with others from your company, don’t let the normal stress of travel cause you to neglect courteous behavior toward them. And just because you are out of town, don’t assume that the work day extends beyond normal business hours. Allow your colleagues the option of having some down time. And, if you are the one who needs some time alone, you should feel comfortable politely declining the invitation to “make a night of it.”

If you need to work in the evening, and need your colleagues to join you, show them the same good manners that you would if you were on your home turf. Give them a choice, if possible, and, if they have no choice, explain the need for the extra hours

The Gracious Guest

When you arrive at your business destination, make yourself a welcome guest to your clients and customers by following some basic rules of conduct. Remember that you represent your firm, so your social behavior can have as much impact as your carefully planned presentation. Even if you choose not to mix business with pleasure, such as by extending the work day with drinks or dinner, being gracious in your interaction with others will leave them feeling positive about your visit.

Follow up with a thank-you note or gift. A thank-you note is always appropriate, even if your experience was entirely business, without a social dimension. Business people usually accommodate your schedule by adjusting their own while you are on site, so acknowledging their hospitality can make them feel good about the experience.

If you are entertained while traveling and wish to say thanks with a gift, you are often safe with flowers. Around the globe, however, types and colors of flowers have different meanings. For example, according to Terri Morrison and Wayne Conaway in Kiss, Bow, or Shake Hands, in Germany, one should always give bouquets of uneven-numbered flowers (except thirteen) and avoid red roses, which are reserved for courting, and certain lilies that are used for funerals. Check with a local florist for a suitable selection. Chocolates are also a widely accepted thank-you gift.

When in Rome

Today we’re lucky that we can know a lot more about the rest of the world than we once did. Bookstores are filled with excellent information to help us as we venture abroad. Make use of these resources. Learn something about the culture and customs of the region to which you will be traveling. At the most basic level, learn the appropriate use of handshakes, eye contact, and other gestures, as traditions vary widely around the globe. Learn a few words of that country’s language, particularly the phrase “thank you.” And remember that a smile is almost universally positive in human interaction.

Show respect for the country or region you’re visiting. When you are visiting another city, state, or country, remember that this place is home to the people around you. Express admiration and appreciation for the surroundings, and avoid criticism, even if you aren’t crazy about the place or it is very different from your home turf. Complaining about the cold in Buffalo, the traffic in Los Angeles, or southwestern food in Tucson isn’t going to endear you to the natives. And never make a joke about the place or the people.

Demonstrate an appreciation for the region. Develop an admiration for the history of the area you are visiting, and show interest by asking questions about it. Not long ago, when I was on a trip to teach a workshop in Reno, a woman approached me at the end of my presentation to thank me for pronouncing “Nevada” correctly. Fortunately, I had asked a hotel employee about the pronunciation that morning.

Dress conservatively. Whenever you travel, particularly if you are alone, avoid calling unnecessary attention to yourself. Although throughout most of the people in the United States are tolerant of expressive attire, hairstyles, and makeup, other cultures may not be so receptive. Both women and men should dress conservatively and modestly, and limit the amount of jewelry they wear. Women, in particular, before the trip should check to see if they should avoid wearing certain items of clothing. For example, are pant suits acceptable for female business travelers in a specific country?

Someone once said that you should treat everyone as though you were going to have to spend the rest of your life with that person in a very small room. Particularly when we’re traveling, a little consideration can go a long way toward taking some of the bumps out of the road.

The Bottom Line

Stressful at best and traumatic at worst, traveling often causes us to be ruder, more intolerant, and shorter-fused than we are at home, perhaps because we think we will never see those people again.

Keep the skies friendly by being particularly courteous in close quarters.

Don’t forget the people who make the process easier for you.

Remember that courtesy on the road should apply to your traveling companions as well.

Be a gracious guest wherever you travel.

Action Plan:

Over the next thirty days,

I will stop ___________________________________________________

I will start ___________________________________________________

I will continue ________________________________________________