Looking in from Outside

Other people’s perceptions of you may be significantly at odds with your own view of yourself. Finding out what others think of you is an important element of self-exploration, and helps you modify your behavior so that you can take up opportunities that you might otherwise have missed.

Seeking new perspectives

You may feel you lack confidence, or that you are too quiet, but others may see you primarily as someone who is trustworthy, honorable, and wise. Conversely, you may describe yourself as assertive and confident, while others see you as aggressive and avoid involving you in their projects. Other people’s views are important because they shape the way they behave toward you. That’s not to say you should always aim to please others, or change the person you are, but being aware of how others see you will enable you to change the signals you send out.

Getting answers

The only way to find out what others think of you is to ask. Many international companies use a process called 360-degree feedback, which is a formal means of eliciting comment from colleagues, staff, and bosses. It is often used to develop senior management teams, but you can carry out a similar process yourself on a smaller scale. Approach people who see you in different roles—perhaps your business partner, work colleagues at the same management level, your immediate boss, some of your suppliers and clients, and a couple of friends. Think of the best way to ask the questions: a questionnaire has the advantage of ensuring consistency, while structured face-to-face interviews give respondents the chance to elaborate, but may also inhibit honest responses. When drafting a questionnaire, keep it short and simple, and concentrate on specific questions that you really want answered, such as:

• How confident do I appear to you?

• Am I approachable?

• Do I communicate clearly?

Using feedback

The feedback process won’t give you a definitive view of what you are like in the eyes of others, but it is certain to produce some valuable insights. It’s too easy to focus on criticisms when you see them in black and white, so make sure that you value and reflect on the positive points that emerge, and use them in your planning for the future.

Psychometric testing

Psychometric tests, such as the widely used Myers Briggs, offer a more scientific approach to self-understanding. These tests look at personality and attempt to give an indication of the type of environment in which an individual is likely to thrive. Myers Briggs positions people against four pairs of factors:

There is nothing wrong with any of these traits. However, if, for example, you are at the extreme end of the scale on “thinking,” you may be ignoring people’s feelings when you make decisions. If you are a “perceiving” rather than a “judging” person, you may need to set more goals and deadlines for yourself.

• Extroversion and introversion

• Sensing and intuition

• Thinking and feeling

• Judging and perceiving.