Let’s face it, most people are not thriving; they are 9-to-5ing—often because either they don’t know of a better way or they are afraid to take the leap of faith. Can I just say it? Take the leap already. Jump in and embrace your life! It’s the only one you have. Your life can thrive. It can! Maybe you’re thinking, “Well, that sounds good, but what does thrive mean exactly?” Good question; let’s take a look at what it means to thrive.
Main Entry: THRIVE1
Pronunciation: hrīv
Function: intransitive verb
Etymology: Middle English, from Old Norse thrīfask, probably reflexive of thrīfa to grasp
Date: 13th century
1 : to grow vigorously : flourish
2 : to gain in wealth or possessions : prosper
3 : to progress toward or realize a goal despite or because of circumstances
— thriv·er hrī-vər noun
According to Merriam-Webster, “thriving” is a word that has been in existence since the 1400s. It may be a coincidence, but I was struck by the fact that the word originated in Old Norse, the extinct language of Scandinavia, where today thriving is a way of life. Survey after survey shines the light on this region as the one with the happiest citizens on Earth. Perhaps thriving has been embedded in their culture for generations; they reach out and “grasp” it as the etymology dictates. In other words, they take hold of their dreams in a very literal sense.
What is it that keeps any one of us from grabbing hold of opportunities to turn our own lives around? The answer may be that we stay stuck because we think about change as one giant step out of our comfort zone into an unfamiliar reality. In truth, however, change is usually a series of small, manageable steps that over time guides us toward a new reality. Many people view the phrase positive change as an oxymoron that pushes and pulls them in opposite directions, unable to move ahead because they are afraid of what might be up ahead. This push-pull struggle can cause them to stagnate and miss out on, well, their lives! If you are feeling indecisive about whether to stay put or shrug off your old 9-to-5 lifestyle, my advice to you is to take a chance. Simply open your mind.
This departure from the 9-to-5 lifestyle that you know so well will require a complete paradigm shift away from “surviving” with an eye on “thriving,” so consider yourself forewarned. But you can make this positive change happen in your life. You can take small steps toward greatness and use stepping stones, which are small changes made with clear outcomes that lead you in a positive direction. Make the transition from a just-get-by mentality to a set-my-sights-high mentality in which anything you can imagine can be yours if you put your mind to it.
If a fear of failure is holding you back, think about how scary it would be to instead waste your life shackled to the 9-to-5 lifestyle. Know that you will undoubtedly face a number of small failures along the way, just like everybody else. So just accept the fear and move on. You can let fear define your life, or you can conquer it and redefine yourself through it. Rewrite history—today! Chart a new course for your life and set sail toward a bright future.
Have you ever charted a course on a map while you were out in the open water? If you own a boat, you may have done this many times. Sea captains do this every day in order to navigate their ships from Point A to Point B. I remember working on that cruise ship that was circumnavigating the globe (described in the previous chapter). We were all floating around in the middle of the high seas with no land in sight for days. I wondered how on Earth the captain knew where we were on the map when there was only ocean and clouds for as far as the eye could see.
One day I went on a tour of the ship’s bridge, which was filled with fancy GPS (global positioning system) equipment that worked very much like the Garmin or TomTom devices on the dashboard in so many of our cars today. However, if your GPS device is like mine, it has probably lead you astray at least once. The same is true of the GPS equipment on today’s huge ocean cruise ships; even all of that fancy equipment can fail and cause the ship to arrive at the wrong destination. So how does a captain double-check the GPS directions while out there in the middle of the open water? He puts the 2nd Mate in charge of plotting the course by hand.
The duties of the 2nd Mate, in part, are to plot each leg of the journey from Point A to Point B on a nautical map well in advance of the journey. Then once at sea, the 2nd Mate regularly confirms that the ship is on course and suggests repositioning instructions to the captain when necessary. The 2nd Mate uses age-old seafaring techniques and tools such as identifying fixed objects in the sky (the sun or stars), on land when available (coastal shorelines), and at sea (the horizon) as reference points. Then, using a sextant, the 2nd Mate plots the ship’s location on the nautical map and compares it to the course charted prior to the voyage. This process all sounds very calculated and straightforward, but navigating isn’t always easy. Currents, tides, winds, and unexpected storms can throw the ship off course at a moment’s notice. Sometimes the changes in direction are monumental, but the more dangerous changes are the subtle, unrecognized movements away from the destination that happen over a long period of time.
This business of navigating is also a constant in our own everyday lives back here on land in the 9-to-5 work world. At times we float around, unsure of our direction. We struggle to get our bearings. When our careers go off track, we look to the Internet and other forms of technology to help guide us in the right direction. We look to those timeless, fixed markers of so-called success—such as money, power, and recognition—to set our course and steer us in that direction. However, so many of us still lose our way; after all, navigating our careers is not a simple task. The process is quite complex, with pressures and responsibilities all pushing and pulling us in different directions and causing us to go off track at times. For most people it is those subtle career changes that take them off course and steer them in directions they never intended. Have any of the following scenarios ever happened to you?
These and many other examples not listed here can take your career in a new and unintended direction. The small movements to and fro, forward and backward add up over time and gradually may lead you to an unintended destination such as a desk located somewhere in a sea of cubicles on the 23rd floor of a rundown building or standing for hours by the cash register at a local retail store. And before long, you are lost in the rat race.
While the saying goes that all those who wander are not lost, let’s face it—some of them are. Are you one of them? Do you feel like your career is adrift? Are you looking for some direction? To chart a course in the right direction, whatever it may be, you simply need to learn how to navigate. The word navigate in Latin means “to set sail,” and so at this moment, you can think of yourself as setting sail in the direction of your career horizon.
To get started you need to know three things, as any good sailor will tell you:
The course you travel may not be a straight line from A to B, but how many of life’s journeys are? You may misjudge your starting point or the correct destination for yourself along the career spectrum, but rest assured that the first rule of navigation both at sea and here in the work world is that “all navigators make mistakes.”2 To get your bearings, begin by triangulating the following three important reference points:
As you begin to think about each of these three important reference points for this journey toward a new career paradigm, it’s time to expand your vision beyond a few generalizations about the career you really want. Let’s get specific. Let’s map out your goals; let’s get a vision for your life.
Visualization is so powerful; in my estimation it is the most powerful career preparation tool available. After all, career preparation is an inside job. Although people in your life may make suggestions or demands about how you should manage your career, ultimately only you know what will fulfill your heart’s desire. The idea of visualization is to deliberately and carefully craft an objective and then focus your energy and thoughts on that goal in order to achieve it.
We humans are complicated creatures; we juggle so many competing priorities. Our lives are an intertwining of various priorities, responsibilities, hopes, dreams, and needs, and we are charged with sorting and arranging them to align with the vision in our minds. This process can be messy business, and the thing is, no one else can do it for us. Maria Shriver addressed this point with new college graduates during a commencement speech years ago by saying, “Your life is like a mosaic, a puzzle. You have to figure out where the pieces go and put them together for yourself.”3
But many people have been so busy just surviving their lives that the big picture, the vision, has gone fuzzy or disappeared altogether. Bringing this vision back into focus through regular practice is the starting point of truly navigating toward your dreams, in your career and in the bigger picture.
The magic of visioning occurs over time; good ideas need to simmer. For example, I have been editing a simple goal sheet since childhood. Each year I add new aspirations, both big and small, to the list and check off others that have been completed. And once in a great while, I cross off goals that no longer align with my long-term vision. Throughout the year, whenever I feel like I’m adrift in any of the four fundamental areas of career, education, relationships, and finances, I refer back to that goal sheet to identify the next item on my list of priorities. Writing down each goal helps make it more concrete. I feel more committed to the goal when I see it in writing, a phenomenon that many studies have proven to be true.
Take some time to reflect on the sample goal sheet included here. Then, fill it in as an initial draft; you can freely edit this sheet at any time in the future. As you work through this important exercise, here are a few things to keep in mind:
How does your initial goal sheet look? Wait, don’t tell me! It’s a private account, for your eyes only, so go ahead and list whatever it is that really matters to you without worrying about how anyone else will judge it. There are no right or wrong answers. There is no magic number of goals you must maintain or account for. The goal sheet is a completely organic representation of your vision, your dreams.
How do you feel when you look at your goal sheet? Each time I look at mine, I become reenergized and imagine what it would be like to accomplish one or all of these goals. For example, a few years ago one of my goals was to write a newspaper column. Each time I looked at that goal, I imagined pitching my ideas to editors, having an editor hire me, working on drafts, and seeing my writing in print. The dream invigorated me, which fueled my action plan. It was those moments of visioning that gave me both new excitement and new ideas about how to make my goal a reality.
The creative freedom to dream without anyone else passing judgment about the ideas that surface is powerful. Have you ever had a great idea while you were in the shower? I think it is based on a similar principle of creative license to think freely. Let me reiterate a call to action that I learned from the inspirational Joel Osteen, “Get a vision for your life!” Make it your own and really own what you make it.
What are you waiting for? Go away as soon as you can and begin reworking the preliminary goal sheet you created, only this time really get in the zone, away from any distractions. Then revisit it periodically in the months ahead and plan for a complete overhaul each year on a specific date, perhaps on your birthday. Last year I drove to a monastery and spent the day high in the wooded hills on the surrounding property. It was quiet, the view was spectacular, and I felt inspired. Choose a location near you that offers little distraction and inspires you. Turn off your cell phone, computer, and any other device that allows others to interact with you. Once you find an inspirational location, start reflecting, evaluating, brainstorming, and adjusting your goals for the year ahead.
Consider purchasing a journal dedicated to this ongoing project. This journal is a great place to brainstorm, reflect, and look ahead. I do all of this in the form of a letter that I write to myself each year. The letter idea may sound odd at first, but quite honestly it is my favorite part of this annual ritual. I write about the past year, how I feel about it, and what I would like to see happen in the coming year. Over the course of twenty years, I have created a healthy collection of letters that reflect how I feel about my career, my relationships, finances, education, and more. I enjoy having all of these important thoughts in one place, cataloging my progress and setbacks over time. Plus, I find it interesting to see how my priorities have changed from year to year and how some goals that seemed paramount five or ten years ago now seem trivial, even laughable.
Although purchasing a journal is not necessary, it is critical to keep all of your notes in one location, such as a file folder or looseleaf binder. The perspective that a collection of notes provides over time, even over the course of a single year, can be highly instructional.
Once you finish crafting your goal sheet and perhaps a journal entry for the year, type the most meaningful goals on your sheet in list format and place it in a location where you can readily see it daily. This list represents the vision you have for your soon-to-be-thriving self, and you want to keep these goals at the forefront of your mind to remain committed to them.
One of the many benefits of visioning is the newfound confidence that springs forth from having a goal in mind. Your vision is a roadmap that guides you in the direction of your dreams. Once you chart a course for your career and your life and then begin taking steps in that direction, you begin to build momentum. One success leads to another. And with each new success comes more confidence, and with more confidence, more successes readily spring forth. The momentum that builds is astounding.
As you begin to progress rapidly toward your goal, you may find that your vision expands or takes new direction. What you never before thought was possible is suddenly a reality, and that gives you the courage to dream an even bigger dream. This confidence is one of the building blocks of a successfully thriving person. Have the courage to develop a vision for your career and see it through to fruition. In the next chapter, you’ll see how The 9-to-5 Cure can help make your dreams a reality.
1 Merriam-Webster Online, s.v. “Thrive,” www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/Thrive (accessed August 30, 2010).
2 Wikipedia, s.v. “Second Mate,” http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Second_Mate (accessed August 30, 2010).
3 Maria Shriver, Ten Things I Wish I’d Known Before I Went Out into The Real World (New York: Warner Books, 2000), 67.
4 Bill Gates, “How I Work: Bill Gates,” Fortune, April 7, 2006, http://money.cnn.com/2006/03/30/news/newsmakers/gates_howiwork_fortune (accessed September 2, 2010).