You need an exit strategy

I've seen a lot of people resign from their job. Some finish well, and others … not so much. Think passive‐aggressive all‐staff emails, stolen company computers and painfully uncomfortable farewell morning teas (I think the last one is my least favourite — arghh, the morning teas!).

There is so much focus placed on starting employment, or landing the next role, that we overlook an essential part of your career: your exit strategy. How you leave a job and employer is crucial. So you need to start with the end in mind.

One‐hundred per cent of people will leave their job. True story. It's like the death rate. You will leave your job, and you will die. Let's wrap this book up now, shall we? What an ending.

But seriously, I can't stress this enough. From the outset of employment, plan to finish well. You can't always control what happens during your employment. Whether you choose to resign, or your employment ends because of a decision your boss made, you can control how you respond.

Have open discussions with your manager

Before we crack into the resignation process, I want you to think more broadly about your exit strategy. You can lay the groundwork to finish well years before you choose to leave. It all starts by building an honest relationship with your manager.

Be intentional about sharing your career goals and long‐term plans with your manager, and do this regularly. This is helpful for many reasons. It lets them know how to support you in your bigger goals and identify internal opportunities. They might be able to prevent resignation altogether! Maybe there's a way to find your next career steps within your current organisation. But you won't know that if you don't try to work with your manager to make it happen. It also sets expectations early. So, if a role comes up externally that they know they can't offer, they won't be taken by surprise, it's not awkward and there's room for understanding.

How can you start this conversation?

In the early parts of your employment or relationship with a manager it might sound like:

‘My long term career plan is to end up in _________ type of role. I'd love any advice or feedback you might have around how I could get there.’

By doing this, you're setting the scene early. You're giving your manager insight into your long‐term goals. Once they know, they may be able to help you get there (remember, be patient: this is a long game and can take years) or they won't be shocked if/when you leave to pursue the long‐term goal. It makes the transition a lot easier for everyone.

When you get an inkling you might need a change, but you're not exactly sure what that looks like, your conversation could sound like this:

‘I feel like in the next 12 months or so _________________ (read the list below). I'd love to talk more about this and get your input and advice.’

Possible inclusions in the above sentence:

• I may begin to feel a bit bored in this role.
• I can see myself needing more of a challenge.
• I feel I might need a bit of a change to my role or responsibilities.

By having this conversation, you can open up more opportunities internally, or if those options aren't available, it can make your decision to exit a lot easier.

Start building this space with your manager early on, and look to create it in every workplace you're employed.

Stay or go?

One of the most common questions we hear from people who listen to the my millennial career podcast is ‘Should I stay or should I go?’

Tough question. Lots at stake. Potentially high emotion.

How the heck do you know for sure that it's time to leave your job? Do the stars tell you at night? Do you have a dream that confirms your concerns?

Let's put the dreams aside and put a framework together to understand whether it's time to exit your job well (we'll talk about how to leave ‘well’ shortly).

It's not time to leave when:

• You simply need a holiday.

  A holiday is often as good as a change. When was the last time you took time off? Time to sit by the beach, travel, visit friends, eat good food and drink good wine/kombucha? If it's been too long between breaks, then think through whether this is actually what you need, rather than a new job. And it doesn't need to be an elaborate holiday — sometimes kicking it at home in your own backyard with no work responsibilities is enough. Time to empty your mind and let it reboot.

• You've created a habit of hopping job to job.

  Recruiters don't love the look on your resume if you've had a number of short stints in multiple workplaces. It makes it seem like you aren't dedicated or reliable (even if you are!). Don't give up just yet — see if there is something within your realm of control to make your current workplace a place you really love.

• There's something you can change in your role or workplace to improve the situation.

  Is there something you could do to make your current role more fulfilling? Is there additional training or job responsibilities you could ask for that provide the challenge you're looking for? Or do you need to reconsider your mindset? Sometimes we can get stuck in cynical cycle which can lead to bad decisions. So, consider the mindset you're bringing to work every day.

• You simply need a conversation with your manager.

  Glen regularly says ‘communication is often the problem and solution’. Wise advice. Have you tried to communicate with your manager about how you're feeling? If not, how will they ever help you craft your role into the shape you enjoy! If you don't speak, they won't know. So set up a chat with them and say something along the lines of:

  ‘Hey, I think I'm looking for something more — is that here? What opportunities are available to me?’

  ‘I'm feeling a bit stagnant in my role, I wonder if we could discuss ways to provide more engagement or challenge?’

  ‘I'm looking for something new to sink my teeth into — are there any new opportunities or projects I could be considered for?’

Managers have more opportunities going on in the background than you're aware of and if you don't ask you won't know — so ask!

It's go‐time when:

• Your values stop aligning with those of the business.

  See now why we started this book with values? That deep‐seated feeling of ‘me and my workplace don't align’ can start like a simmer and brew to a boil — next minute it's bubbling over. Sit for a moment and take the time to assess what isn't aligning with you. Has the vision of the organisation changed? Have your values changed? If the tectonic plates have shifted, it could be time to find a new workplace that does align with your values.

• You've achieved everything you can.

  Even if you're communicating and checking in with your manager, sometimes there's a ceiling on the things you want to and can achieve in a workplace. That's okay. Acknowledge the amazing opportunities you've had, and the ones you're going to look elsewhere to achieve. Before you do this though, check you aren't making assumptions. Talk with your manager and see if there are opportunities you aren't aware of. If there's nothing available then bow out with grace (read on in this chapter about how to resign with grace).

• The workplace becomes toxic.

  No‐one should sit back and cop a toxic workplace or boss. No bullying boss, gossipy office talk or illegal activity (it happens) should be withstood by anyone. Talk to HR, try to raise your concerns with the right people internally, but if nothing changes, get out as soon as you can.

  You have permission to walk out that door and never come back. Be professional, read our upcoming steps to resign with grace and find a healthier workplace.

Resigning with grace

The litmus test of an effective exit strategy is that you leave so well you could always go back.

Here's how.

Mindset. Ahh, that ol’ chestnut

And here we are again, in the land of mindset. We bring it up because it matters. Whether you're leaving for personal reasons, redundancy or retirement, your mindset should be to finish well. Your boss might have been a total jerk, but be the bigger person in the room.

No matter the circumstances of how things end, you're responsible for how you respond.

When people finish up badly, it can taint all the years of hard work. Don't undo the great work you did while working in the business by letting the final stretch become sour.

Also keep in mind that your choices now — the way you manage your exit in particular — ripple into the future. Your future job applications have a better chance of success if you can be recommended positively by managers or teammates from your past. You want your previous managers to say, ‘They were great. I'd welcome them back here any time.’

Remember that people talk (especially in the land of HR), and your past behaviour can often be viewed as a signal of what your future performance will be like. Potential employers can see on your resume or LinkedIn profile where you've worked and they may make contact with that organisation (even if you haven't listed them as a referee) to ask someone about your time there. If you manage things poorly, whether while you work in the role or as you resign, of course they'll think that's how you work on an average day at work. Poorly.

Look to be thankful for what the opportunity has given you: the people, the projects, the skills gained.

Start your job with the end in mind. Commit to yourself that you want to leave so well that you could come back.

Reasons for leaving

You'll usually have a primary reason for leaving an organisation — this is where you want to focus your energy as you resign. Do not, however, tell your manager that you're leaving for one reason, then go and blab to your colleagues that it's actually for another reason. Be clear, stick to your story and don't place colleagues in the uncomfortable position of having to hear you rant about why you're leaving. Keep it straight and simple.

You will also have secondary reasons for leaving — things that also make you feel like it's time to go. Be honest and respectful about how you communicate these issues. Remember, your team and peers will still need to navigate any challenges in the workplace every day (hello micromanaging boss). So be sensitive about how you share your concerns with them. If you need someone to vent to, chat with a friend or family member about it.

Beware the counter offer

You've jumped through all the nerve‐wracking recruitment hoops. You land a new job and sign the contract (yes!). And you finally resign. Except then your employer comes back to you with a counter offer. Ugh! Plot twist.

The counter offer is one of those pivotal career decisions. One you need to approach with caution. Yep, it's very flattering to have your employer throw everything at you to keep you. The big pay increase. The company car. The extra holidays. The new job title. The promise of a better culture.

Our word of warning: beware the counter offer.

Counter offers are fascinating. If all of the things your employer is offering you to stay were possible, why weren't they given to you before now? Human behaviour is a weird thing. We're often more concerned about what we have to lose, than we are about keeping something awesome we already have. So before you accept, we want you to think this through.

First, think about your motivation. Why did you seek out another role in the first place? If it's purely about pay and your existing employer matches or exceeds it, then you may want to stay. But if the reason you started looking for other roles is different, then it's time to stop and assess.

The counter offer needs to address the underlying problem. What caused you to resign in the first place? Is there a toxic culture? Do you keep getting knocked back for promotions? Is your boss an evil tyrant hell bent on crushing your soul? Take time to genuinely consider if and how the counter offer addresses these issues. If the underlying problem is not solved in their counter offer, thank them and kindly decline.

Think about the wins

Resignation can feel like a negative experience. But it's important to recognise the good that has come out of all of your jobs, even if they have become toxic or it's time to go elsewhere. Take time to reflect on all the experience you've gained, the skills you've built and the amazing projects you've been involved in. These are things to thank your employer for in your resignation letter and when meeting to discuss your exit.

The resignation process

Before you text ‘boy bye’ to your manager and hightail it out of there, here are some simple steps to avoid a bad job break‐up.