Coming to a career crossroads

As with any good road trip, you need to prepare for the unexpected. You'll hit a roadblock, a crossroads, a dead end, get bogged, run out of fuel. Or maybe your career car will have a [nervous] breakdown that leaves you stranded on the side of the road, waiting for the tow truck, wondering where to next.

Career changes, career crises, burnout, redundancy, unexpected employment ends: each of these situations can feel like your career road trip has come to an abrupt stop. Emergency break activated.

If you've experienced one of these, I want you to know you're not alone (welcome to the career crisis club). As we process these tricky parts of our careers it can feel like we're isolated, lacking the knowledge or resources to move forward.

But we want you to think of this as an opportunity. It may not have been part of the plan, but sometimes your best moves come from sudden changes.

Can you make things better? Yes.

Is there still time to figure out what you want in your career? Yes.

Should we nap first? Yes.

When you hit a career crossroads, it is critical that you give yourself time and space. Time to reflect, rest, process how you're feeling. It's the moment to go back and work through parts I and II of this book, but only when you're ready to tackle it.

Remember the concept of ‘antifragility’ that Nassim Nicholas Taleb references in his work: unexpected and difficult experiences are a consistent part of our lives, and true happiness isn't found in avoiding these feelings. It's learning how to experience them, absorb them and become more capable as a result.

To demonstrate just how un‐alone you are, I've written this chapter with a collection of personal stories from the m3 community. These are stories that show it can be done. Some things won't work out, but we learn, grow and try again. You can move sideways, turning left or right at the crossroads. Consider us your good mate, here to help you jump‐start your car and get back on the road. You can re‐evaluate your values, mindset, strengths, skills and risk — and start the car again.

Career crossroads 1: Changing careers

According to recent research by McCrindle, most Millennials and Gen Zs will have between three and five career changes during their working life. So, if you're feeling desperate to try something new, that's normal.

If you're 30 years old and you haven't had one yet, your time is coming (not to be the voice of doom or anything).

Expecting the unexpected is a sign of antifragility and maturity. There will be multiple times in your working life when you'll feel dissatisfied with the status quo and want to shake things up.

Knowing this before it happens gives you power (it also helps you to not have a major freak out when it does — an added bonus). Take Rach, for example.

Rach always knew she wanted to become a chef. Growing up, she'd spend hours in the kitchen cooking with her mum, experimenting with new recipes. By the age of 16, she had her dream job mapped out. She was going to become a chef.

Rach landed an apprenticeship at a local pub and her second shift fell on her 18th birthday. It was a fitting introduction into the life of a chef — but a bad omen of things to come. Over the next few years, Rach learned how much she'd have to sacrifice for her dream job.

Rach is one of those people who thrives off pressure. The adrenalin highs of a Saturday night service. The frantic energy of hospitality. People streaming through the front doors. Hundreds of dockets lined up. The head chef screaming orders. It was an exhilarating kind of chaos. ‘The stress was huge, but there's nothing like the feeling of plating up the perfect meal.’

Two years and thousands of chicken schnitzels later, Rach needed a new challenge. The pub life wasn't cutting it. And like every young chef, she wanted two things: to work in fine dining and to travel.

At 20 years of age, she quit her pub gig, left her suburban hometown in New South Wales and crossed the border into Queensland. Rach was on the hunt for the perfect fine‐dining job. And she found it, or at least she found the fine‐dining part. Everything else was far from perfect.

Rach stared down at the menu. If she focused hard enough, maybe the words would somehow make sense. What the actual foie gras is this stuff? She cringes to think back on this time in her career. Like the best porcini mushrooms, she was growing in the crap. Bad money. Toxic culture. Crying the whole drive home each night. All for her so‐called ‘dream job’.

But over time, Rach became a damn good chef. Fuelled by ambition and talent, the next years raced by in a blur. She climbed the ladder, working at some of the best restaurants in Australia. And, she got to travel around the world with her job.

She was ticking off all her career goals. Fine dining, tick. Travel and adventure, tick. Career progression, tick. But, the work was slowly sucking the life out of her. Every night. Every weekend. Every 70‐hour week.

Rach realised she was only travelling to escape work.

‘It's how I survived. I'd work as hard as I could for as long as I could. Then I'd use travel to avoid burning out.’ She'd work nonstop for a year and travel overseas for as long as she could afford, only to grudgingly return and repeat the cycle.

Seven years into her career it started to catch up with her. She had given up so much for her job. She'd missed birthdays and weddings. Never seeing her partner and friends. She lived in some of the most remarkable cities in the world, but never got to fully experience them.

Over time her resentment grew.

‘I was constantly angry. After every shift, all I would do is complain about work.’ Every day, Rach would feel nauseous and miserable. ‘I kept telling myself, it's the restaurant, or it's the staff, or it's the money.’ She would change restaurants, work with different people and get paid more money. And for the first few months, she'd love the job again because it was a new environment. But sure enough, the same issues would arise.

Rach had been a chef for almost 10 years and had worked at so many different restaurants. She'd perfected the art of ignoring her career problems. But eventually, she had to confront the painful reality.

Her time as a chef was over. But, she had no idea what to do next. So she gave herself time to figure it out. She used all her savings and took three months off work. It was what she desperately needed to reimagine her career and life.

She used this time to renovate her house with her partner. She found herself spending a lot of time in the back yard. She ripped up the concrete. She laid new grass. She redesigned the garden. She planted trees. She built planter boxes. And most importantly, she found her joy again.

‘I loved being outside in the garden — I was really curious about it.’ Rach had so many questions and wanted to find out all the answers about why things grow. She decided then and there she was going to study horticulture. ‘I thought, if I don't get a job in it, at least I'll have all my questions answered.’

She started researching horticulture, and she came across the apprenticeship pathway. She knew she couldn't stay in hospitality, so she decided to sacrifice the money and try something new.

Rach googled every landscaping company in Victoria. She was on the hunt, looking for the fine‐dining of landscaping. It was going to be tough to find a job. ‘My resume was made up of all these restaurants and zero landscaping experience and I was 30 years old. Not your typical horticulture apprentice.’

After emailing countless landscapers, and getting no replies, Rach started volunteering at an agricultural plot to gain experience. She learned how much this work aligned with her values, strengths and personal priorities. She knew this was the right move for her. Now, it was about finding someone to hire her.

Three months passed, and one of the places she emailed had a job come up on Seek. Even though she'd heard nothing back from them originally, Rach wasn't put off. She threw her hat in the ring and applied for it. A week later she got the call‐up for an interview.

‘When you're a chef, you don't do interviews. You only do a trial shift. I had never done a proper interview in my life. I had no idea what to wear to a gardener interview. I didn't want to be too fancy that they thought I couldn't handle it. But not too underdressed that I didn't care.’ Rach arrived at the interview in black jeans, a country road shirt and boots. Nailed it.

She was jittery, nerves in full force. But she had confidence in her interview strategy. She was going for all honesty and a willingness to learn. It worked a treat! Rach shared her career journey vulnerably: she was open about where she lacked experience, and her drive to grow and develop. She had a trial shift, and a few days later, she got the job. That same weekend, it was her 30th birthday. But unlike her 18th birthday, she didn't have to work. She spent a weekend with her best friends and family on a holiday in Noosa. A good sign for her new career.

Rach is now three years into her horticulture apprenticeship. In 2021, she was awarded Apprentice of the Year in Victoria for landscaping. But more than the awards and goals achieved, Rach is happy. She has found energy and purpose in her job. She doesn't work solely to go on holidays. On the tough days, she still finds her work fulfilling and meaningful. And that's what building a career you love looks like.

Here's how others in our m3 community have navigated a career change.

Casey could easily have continued on the road she was on, but she took a huge risk to change the direction of her career road trip. But the risk was worth the reward! Not only has she built a completely new career by dipping her toe in an area where she showed strength, and growing that (literally), she was also willing to reshape her whole personal life alongside it. She has every right to be proud of her achievements! This takes so much courage. The personal progress she has made from taking any night shift she could to completing a Masters is astonishing.

Kylie's story highlights how varied the process can look as you change careers — not all career changes are an abrupt shift from one industry to another. Sometimes it's about seeing an opportunity in a new area, taking small steps in that direction and then doubling down where your strengths and skills are performing at their best.

Career crossroads 2: Career crisis

We'd define a ‘career crisis’ as knowing you can't stay in your current job, but having zero idea of what you want to do next.

If you're asking yourself, ‘What the heck do I want to do with my career?’ and can't seem to find the answer, you're right where you need to be. On behalf of Glen and me, welcome to our club. The career crisis club. The membership is free, meetings are Tuesday nights and we've all signed up at least once in our life. Joining our club is a good sign. It means you're on your way to sorting your crisis out.

Maybe your career was going to plan for the first few years, but it's not cutting it anymore. You found out being a lawyer is nothing like the show Suits. Or the dream you had to start your own business fizzled out like the five‐day‐old bottle of Coke Zero sitting in Glen's fridge (oof — not good).

Before we get to solving your career crisis, there's one thing you need to avoid at all costs: the career crisis Wheel of Fortune (see figure 10.1).

For the love of all that is good in this world, do not spin this bad boy, hoping wherever it stops is the universe's way of confirming your next career move.

I'm bloody done with Electrical Engineering.

…

Step right up and spin the wheel for your next career move.

…

High‐school teaching, here I come.

Jokes aside, when people are in crisis mode, decision fatigue takes over. In these moments, it's common to make rushed, poorly thought‐out decisions. We're so desperate to get out of one bad situation that we make huge changes with the flick of a coin (or the spin of a wheel, if you will).

Solving a career crisis requires time. You need to carefully reflect on what's not working for you right now, which takes deep thinking. But it's difficult to do the deep thinking when you're having to show up to work every day. You're basically having repeated exposure therapy every week without the therapist for support. Not an ideal situation.

Remember Glen's personal story back in chapters 2 and 3? He's had three career crises, from telecommunications trade, to financial adviser, to podcast host and media business director. Each of these changes came from understanding what wasn't working in his current career, and reflecting on his values, strengths and skills, and risk tolerance to inform his next move. These big changes weren't a spur‐of‐the‐moment decision.

Five steps to navigating a career crisis

Before we move on to the next career crossroads you might encounter, we want to share five steps to help you navigate a career crisis and make the right change for you. Consider this your ‘get out of career crisis free card’.

Career crossroads 3: Burnout

Burnout is too common a story. If you're here because of it, we feel you.

No‐one performs well on empty, particularly when the empty sign has been flashing for months, possibly years. More than that, no‐one can sustain working at 150 per cent day in, day out.

Step back for a minute. What even is burnout? According to the World Health Organisation, burnout is the result of chronic and unmanaged stress at work. It's characterised by feelings of extreme exhaustion, fatigue, cynicism, and mental or emotional detachment from your work. Burnout, aside from the physical effects and exhaustion, can have serious and long‐term impacts on your mental health and wellbeing.

Burnout doesn't happen overnight. Similarly, recovery isn't as quick as we'd like it to be. Rebuilding your health takes time. Allow yourself the rest you need. Be kind to yourself. Your mind, emotions and body have been through the ringer, so turn the pace down.

Here are members of our community who have navigated their own burnout journey. These stories are ones that point to the road to recovery, and rebuilding a career you love.

Burnout is a slow burn. For Liz, her energy reserves were slowly depleted over 10 years as an ED nurse. That’s why rest is so significant. You need time to heal, reflect and recharge. Don't rush this part of the process. Allow yourself the space you need to recover.

Kimberley's provided a brilliant example of how to replan your career road trip after burnout. She took time off to do something completely different — something that energises her. She's redefined everything we work through in part I of this book, and reshaped a career that doesn't just take take take — instead it sparks joy in her. She's beautifully blended her strengths in a few different fields.

Career crossroads 4: Redundancy and unexpected employment endings

Redundancy or an unexpected end to your employment can be an extremely stressful experience.

One day you go to work believing that your role and what you contribute matters. Next minute someone says, ‘thanks for your time; here are your things and there's the door’.

An unplanned employment ending like redundancy can leave you in a state of shock. It can rattle your confidence. In fact, many people describe endings like this as a grieving process.

It takes headspace and distance to work through the feelings of hurt and grief that come with these types of exits. It's important to give yourself grace and time to reflect before you move forward.

The truth is most people will have an unexpected and painful employment exit like this at least once in their career. While this doesn't necessarily make it any easier to navigate, if you're in this position right now, you're not alone. The work that you're doing through this book will help you to find the right next opportunity and rebuild your confidence.

Charli worked something that would absolutely have felt like a kick in the guts, into an opportunity to focus on her strengths. Instead of this being a dead‐end experience, she transferred her strengths to a seemingly unrelated field. She was prepared for the risk of a pay cut too.