Index

A

accountability, 23

authenticity and, 99–101

persistence related to, 31–32

action, clarity created by, 14

activation energy, 24

Adrift (Callahan), 8

The Adversity Advantage (Weihenmayer), 62

advice, 66

AIG, 62

Almost (Klopp), 106

Amabile, Teresa, 32, 52–53

Amazon, 10–11

ambition, 4

American Institute of Stress, 82–83

Anatomy of an Illness: As Perceived by the Patient (Cousins), 61

Andrews, Jeff, 151

Angelou, Maya, 3

Arbor Day Foundation, 147

Aristotle, 31

Arizona State University, 32

arrogance, 19–20

Asch, Solomon, 93

assertions, supportive, 89–90

assertiveness, 5, 67–68, 69–70

assumptions, 26–28, 32, 113–114

Authentic Happiness (Seligman), 116

authenticity, 85–101

building inclusion and, 97–99

conformity vs., 92–94

giving credit/accountability and, 99–101

hiding at work, 86–89

innovation and, 91–92

resisting pressures against, 90–91

autonomy, 29–30, 75–84

allowing failure and, 77–79

difficult bosses and, 79–81

quitting and, 81–84

B

bafflegab, 95, 96–97

BambooHR, 162–163

Bandura, Albert, 34–36

BBC News, 142

Beckham, Odell Jr., 25

beginning, 24

behavior

contagiousness of, 57

reciprocity in, 134–135

self-awareness of, 106–108

self-importance and, 72–73

unethical, 142–144

being present, 103–114

believing in yourself, 1–15

being true to yourself and, 13–15

impostor syndrome and, 2–4

luck and, 11–13

thriving vs. panicking and, 6–11

unworthiness feelings and, 4–6

biases, 113–114

Blake, James, 94

Boisjoly, Roger, 143–144

bosses

dealing with difficult, 79–81

stress-inducing, 28–30, 106

visibility of, 106–107

Brandeis, Louis, 29

breaks, taking, 155–171

sleep and, 161–163

from technology, 162, 163, 164–168

when we’re busy, 168–171

Brigham Young University, 31–32, 78

Bronson, Po, 59–60

Bryan, Nurse, 117–118

Buddy Bench, 97–98

Buhring, Juliana, 42–43

“Buried Treasure” (Henry), 96

Business Buzzword Bingo, 95

Buss, David, 57

C

Callahan, Steve, 7–9

calling, embracing your life’s, 116–118

Caltech Counseling Center, 2

Cant, Rona, 137–139

Car and Driver, 108–110

career goals, 47–49, 82, 117

Center for Creative Leadership, 162

Centers for Diseease Control and Prevention, 149

The Challenger Launch Decision (Vaughan), 143–144

challenges, 33–49

attracting talent with, 47–49

building resilience through, 45–46

curiosity and, 63–73

discomfort and, 41–42

fear and, 34–36

grit in facing, 42–44

learning from disasters and, 159–161

learning vs. performance goals and, 33, 36–41

quitting due to lack of, 83

Chambers, Richard, 104

Chan, Margaret, 3

chance, 12–13

change, 4–5

Chernobyl, 162

Chesterfield, Lord, 61

Cho, Victor, 125–126

choice

choosing happiness, 156–159

in leadership, 23

luck as, 12–13

Christakis, Nicholas, 57

Cirque du Soleil, 14

clarity, 14

clothing, fitting in through, 87

coaching, 19

Cohn, Russ, 163

Columbia Business School, 69–70

communication

empathy and understanding in, 110–112

five-to-one rule on, 89–90

forcing conformity in, 95–97

smartphones and, 165–166

Community Mercy Health Partners, 24–25

community work, 158

comparisons

impostor syndrome and self-, 3–4

with yourself vs. others, 54

compassion, 56–57

competence, confidence based on, 6, 18

competitive advantage, 20

complacency, 33

confidence, 17–32

arrogance and, 19–20

coaching and, 19

from competence, 6

competitive advantage and, 20

courageous acts and, 22–26

persistence in building, 30–32

praise and, 37–39

from preparation, 18

self-awareness in, 20–21

self-control and, 21

social support and, 20

sources of, 17–22

stressful bosses and, 28–30

trust and, 21–22

visualization and, 18–19

conformity, 86, 92–97

defying convention and, 141–154

connectivity, 162

Conquering the North Face: An Adventure in Leadership (Klopp), 106

consequences, 77–78

consistency, 43–44

convention, defying, 141–154

encouraging in others, 152–154

financial rewards from, 150–152

positive defiance and, 141, 146–150

questioning rules and, 144–146

conversational narcissism, 123–124

Cook, Emily, 19

Corcoran, Barbara, 4

corporate culture, 23

courage, 14–15, 22–26

Cousins, Gregory, 161–162

Cousins, Norman, 61

covering, 86–89

creativity, 53

credit, giving, 80, 99–101

Cross, Rob, 122

Cuddy, Amy, 5–6, 26

culture. see organizational structure

curiosity

assessing, 67–68

cultivating, 70–73

encouraging, 63–73

hiring for, 126

illusion of success and, 63–66

inspiration and, 116

rewards of, 68–70

D

decision making

autonomy in, 31–32, 77–79

exhaustion and, 163

letting go of, 113–114

luck and, 12–13

processes for, 132

Deep Survival: Who Lives, Who Dies, and Why (Gonzales), 7

Deloitte Leadership Center for Inclusion, 86, 88

Derber, Charles, 123–124

Detling, Nicole, 18–19

deviance, positive, 141, 146–154

DiDonato, Tom, 49

Diettert, Eldon, 113

differences, honoring, 28

disagreements, honoring, 28

Discovery space shuttle, 143–144

distraction, 156, 163

diversity, 86–89, 118–119. see also authenticity

Dodge, Wag, 113

dopamine, 5–6

driving and texting, 108–110

Drucker, Peter, 96–97, 117–118

Duckworth, Angela, 43–44

Duckworth Lab, 43–44

Dunn, Elizabeth, 164–165

Durant, Will, 31

Dutch elm disease, 147–148

Dweck, Carol, 37–41

E

Ebeling, Bob, 143–144

Eblin, Scott, 105, 168

educational differences, 119

The Effective Executive (Drucker), 117–118

Efferson, Charles, 94

egalitarianism, 73

e-mail, 164–165, 169

Emmons, Robert, 58

emotional intelligence, 41–42

emotions, expressing, 120–121

empathy, 73, 110–112, 166

energizing others, 121–124

energy accretion, 126

engagement, 22–23, 34

authenticity and, 88, 91

building inclusion and, 99

gratitude and, 58–61

learning speed and, 75–77

presence and, 108–110

Ericsson, K. Anders, 76

Ernst & Young, 47–48, 117

ESPN, 18

ethics, 142–144, 152

Evite, 125–126

excellence, 31, 141

excellence, rehearsing, 25

exercise, 158

Expanding the Science and Practice of Gratitude project, 58

expertise, 66, 67–68

Exxon Valdez, 161–162

F

failure

embracing, 34

fear of success and, 1, 4–6

gratitude for, 57–58

of others, allowing, 77–79

family meals, 136

Fast Company magazine, 150

fear

of being without phones, 164

challenging our, 34–36

humor and, 62

of isolation, 5

questioning rules and, 144–146

resolve vs., 6–11

of success, 1, 4–6

of trying, 13–14

fear of missing out (FOMO), 164–165

Feiler, Bruce, 136

Fischer, Lisa, 55

five-to-one rule, 89–90

fixed mindset, 39, 40–41

focus

on behaviors vs. people, 27

being present and, 103–114

following through, 122–123

Ford, Cameron M., 71–72

Fowler, James, 57

Fox Cabane, Olivia, 3

framing, 57–58

Froh, Jeffrey, 58–59

Frost, Nicole, 119–120

G

Gates, Bill, 4

General Electric, 96–97

Generation Grit action figures, 31

Gentry, Richard J., 71–72

Gilbert, Daniel, 66

goals, learning vs. performance, 33, 36–41

Godin, Seth, 160–161

Gonzales, Laurence, 7

Grant, Adam, 53–54

gratitude, 51–62

engagement increased by, 58–61

finding, 51–58

for negative experiences, 61–62

grit, 42–44

growth mindset, 39, 40–41, 44–46

Gruenert, Steve, 142

Guenzi, Paolo, 136–137

guided mastery, 35–36

guilt, 5, 158

Gulfport Community and Regional Resilience Institute, 151

H

Hairston, John, 151

Hall, Mike, 43

Hancock Bank, 150–152

hand hygiene, 149–150

happiness, 6, 43–44, 66, 115, 156–159, 169–171

Harvard University, 32

Hassan, Fred, 152–154

Hattan, Robert, 131

Hazelwood, Joseph, 161–162

He, Emily, 47

health, 158

effects of stress on, 9, 80, 82–83

social isolation and, 86

when to quit based on, 82–83

Henry, O., 96

hierarchies, 132

Hill, Judith, 55

Hiltz, Paul, 24–25, 99–101

hiring, 125–127

Hofstra University, 58–59

Hogan, Robert, 28

holacracy, 132

Holocaust, 56

Hootie and the Blowfish, 30–31

humor, 51, 61–62

Hurricane Katrina, 150–152

I

identity. see authenticity

illusions, 63–65

impostor syndrome, 2–4

inadequacy, feelings of, 2–4

inclusion, building, 97–99

incompetence, promotions to the level of, 81

Ingram Micro, 79

innovation, 33–34

conformity and, 92–94

diversity and, 91–92

questioning rules and, 144–146

team dynamics and, 71–72

“Inside Amazon: Wrestling Big Ideas in a Bruising Workplace,” 10–11

inspiration, creating/sharing, 115–127

energizing others and, 121–124

giving the gift of time and, 118–120

listening and, 120–121

story telling in, 124–125

Internet Sabbaths, 167–168

intuition, 12–13

Iran Air Flight 655, 130–131

isolation, 5, 85–86, 88–89

building inclusion and, 97–99

combatting, 88–89

J

Jackson, Michael, 55

Jagger, Mick, 55

Jansen, Dan, 45–46

jargon, conformity through, 95–97

K

Kahneman, Daniel, 65–66

Kantor, Jodi, 11

Kickstarter, 31

kindness, small acts of, 55–57

King, Martin Luther Jr., 117

King, Paul, 147–148

King, Stephen, 32

Kinjerski, Val, 115–116

Klein, Gene, 56

Klopp, Hap, 106–107

Kramer, Steven, 52–53

Krone, Charles, 95–96

Kushlev, Kostadin, 164–165

L

language, conformity through, 95–97

leaders and leadership

authenticity and, 85–101

autonomy and, 75–84

being present and, 103–114

believing in yourself and, 1–15

challenges by, 33–49

confidence building for, 17–32

defying convention and, 141–154

development of, 119–120

emotionally intelligent, 41–42

giving credit and, 99–101

gratitude in, 51–62

inspiring others and, 115–127

open, 99–101

role clarification and, 129–139

as role models, 170–171

stepping up and, 23, 54

unethical behavior and, 142–144

Leading Teams (Guenzi), 136–137

Lear Corporation, 49

learning, 33, 36–41

autonomy and, 75–77

from disasters, 159–161

empathy and understanding in, 110–112

mindfulness and, 104–105

from setbacks, 57–58

“Linking Individual Creativity to Organizational Innovation” (Litchfield, Ford, and Gentry), 71–72

listening, mindful, 27, 103–114, 120–121, 124

Litchfield, Robert, 71–72

Lloyd, Jon, 149–150

loneliness, 85–86, 88–89

Los Angeles Times, 95–96

luck, 11–13

The Luck Factor: The Four Essential Principles (Wiseman), 12–13

M

Maestripieri, Dario, 146

Mann Gulch wildfire, 113

Matthews, Dave, 30

McDougall, William, 61

McGonigal, Kelly, 9, 11

McMath, Arden, 116

meaningful work, 34, 52–54, 152–154

meetings, 136–137

mentoring programs, 119

Merck, 67

Mercy Health Select, 24–25

Merryman, Ashley, 59–60

Mershey, Milton, 4

methicillin-resistant Staphyloccus aureus (MRSA), 148–150

micromanaging, 28–30

millennials, 47–49

Miller, Bob, 116–117

Miller, Paul, 32

mindfulness, 27, 104–106

Mindful Relationships: Creating Genuine Connection with Ourselves and Others (Chambers and Ulbrick), 104

mindsets

fixed vs. growth, 39, 40–41, 44–46

of hand hygiene, 149–150

identifying a company’s, 39–40

positive, stress and, 11

of resolve, 7–11

Misra, Shalini, 166

mistakes, identifying and correcting, 39

morale, 29–30

Morphew, M. Ephimia, 6–7

Morrow, Dwight, 55

motivation, 52–54, 117

Müller-Lyer, Franz Carl, 64

Mulraven, Mark, 21

multitasking, 108–110, 156, 162

N

NASA, 143–144

National Transportation Safety Board, 162, 163

Nejdawi, Bashar, 79

New Year’s resolutions, xii

New York Giants, 25

New York Times, 10–11, 18–19

New Zealand All Blacks, 136

nomophobia, 164

normalization of deviance, 142–143

The North Face, 106–107

Nothing Is Impossible (Reeve), 110–111

NurtureShock (Bronson and Merrman), 59–60

O

Olson, Bo, 11

Opening Up: The Healing Power of Expressing Emotions (Pennebaker), 120–121

openness, 99–101

opportunities, 47–49

optimism, 1–2, 6

assuming best intentions of others and, 26–28

gratitude and, 59–60

hiring for, 126

survival and, 7–11

organizational culture curiosity and, 67, 71–72

loneliness and, 89–90

mindsets in, 39–40

unethical behavior and, 142–144

work hours and, 162–163

organizational structure, 132

Out Think (Hunter), 24–25

overnight success, 30–31

overwhelmed feelings, 41–42, 105

giving the gift of time and, 118–120

taking breaks and, 155–171

Overworked and Overwhelmed: The Mindfulness Alternative (Eblin), 105, 168

P

Pacific Bell, 95–96

panic, 6–11, 160–161

Pantry Retail, 163

Parks, Rosa, 94

Pascale, Richard, 147

passion, 116–118

Pennebaker, James, 120–121

performance, 33, 36–41, 44

perseverance, 30–32, 42–44

perspective

curiosity and, 70–73

loneliness and, 89

stress and, 106

perspective taking, 71–72

Porath, Christine, 124

positive pessimisms, 62

positive questions, 20–21

positive self-talk, 20–21

possessions, letting go of, 112–114

posture, power poses in, 5–6

power, abuse of, 80–81

The Power of Positive Deviance (Sternin, Sternin, and Pascale), 147

power poses, 5–6, 26

Powers, William, 167

practice

of courage, 14–15

in dealing with fears, 35–36

guided mastery, 35–36

rehearsing excellence, 25

ten-thousand-hour rule on, 76

praise, 37–39

preparation, 18

presence, 103–114

empathy/understanding and, 110–112

energizing others and, 122

giving the gift of time and, 118–120

letting go of procedures and, 112–114

mindfulness and, 104–106

in our work, 108–110

rituals and, 135–137

procedures, letting go of, 112–114

productivity, 29–30, 164–165

professional development, 83

progress, meaningful, 52–54

The Progress Principle (Amabile and Kramer), 52–53

pronoia, 6

Q

quality vs. quantity, 6

questions

defying convention with, 144–146

positive, 20–21, 117–118

in story telling, 124

supportive, 89–90, 123–124

quitting, 81–84

R

radio-frequency identification (RFID) chips, 163

reciprocity, 134–135

Reeve, Christopher, 110–111

regrets, 13–14

relationships, 53–54, 104–106

smartphones and, 165–166

in swift-starting expert teams, 132–135

resilience, 40–42

building through challenges, 45–46

growth mindset and, 44–46

resolve, 7–11

responsibility, 54, 78–79

reward systems, 65–66

risk and risk taking, 68

rituals, 129, 135–137

Rockoff, Jonah, 120

Rogers, William, 130–131

role clarification, 129–139

based on information, 130–132

rituals and, 135–137

selecting the right people and, 132–135

support teams and, 137–139

role models, 40–41, 170–171

Rolling Stones, 55

Rooney, Wayne, 18

Rucker, Darius, 30–31

Rudolph, Jenny, 113–114

rules, questioning, 144–146

Rumsey, Wlater, 113

S

Saba, 47

Sanders, Ryan, 162–163

Schering-Plough, 152–154

Schloegel, George, 152

School Culture Rewired (Gruenert and Whitaker), 142

screen time rules, 77–78

selected disconnection, 167–168

self-awareness, 20–21, 106–108, 113–114

self-control, 21

self-doubt, 2–4

self-efficacy, 1

self-esteem, 1, 21

Seligman, Martin, 116

Senger, Pete, 41–42

service, offering, 54

setbacks, overcoming, 40–42

Siebert, Al, 8

Simpson, Joe, 9–10

Siula Grande Mountains, 9–10

Skillsoft, 168

Skrypnek, Berna J., 115–116

sleep, 86, 156, 158, 161–163

Slydial, 121

smartphones, 162, 163

Smith, James Pat, 151

social media, 3–4

social status, 37–39

social support, 20

Society for Human Prformance in Extreme Environments, 6–7

South Canyon fire, Colorado, 112–113

space shuttle program, 143–144

speed, learning and, 104–105

sports teams, 136

Spreitzer, Gretchen, 124, 141

Springfield Regional Medical Center, 99–101

Sternin, Jerry, 146–147, 150

Sternin, Monique, 146–147, 150

stigma, 90–91, 98–99

Sting, 55

story telling, 124–125

“Street Sweeper” speech (King), 117

Streitfeld, David, 11

stress, 9

bosses who create, 28–30, 79–81

health effects of, 80

humor and, 61–62

loneliness/isolation and, 5, 85–86

long work hours and, 48–49, 155, 157–158, 162–163

mindfulness and, 106

taking breaks and, 155–171

technology and, 162, 163, 164–168

when to quit and, 82–83

workplace, 10–11

Stumbling on Happiness (Gilbert), 66

success

curiosity stifled by, 70–73

fear of, 1, 4–6

as learning vs. performance, 33

“overnight,” 30–31

resolve and, 7–11

seeing past the illusion of, 63–66

Sullenberger, Chesley B. “Sully,” 112

superstitions, 11–12

supporting roles, 55–56

supportive questions, 89–90, 123–124

support systems, 78–79

survival, resolve vs. panic and, 6–11

The Survivor Personality (Siebert), 8

Sutton, Bob, 70

Swift, Taylor, 68–69

swift-starting expert teams, 132–135

T

talent, attracting and keeping, 47–49, 119–120, 125–127, 129–139

teams

dynamics in, 71–72

five-to-one rule in, 89–90

the gift of time and, 118–119

role clarification for, 129–139

selecting the right people for, 132–135

support, 137–139

swift-starting expert, 133–135

technology, taking breaks from, 162, 163, 164–168

ten-thousand-hour rule, 76

texting and driving, 108–110

Thinking Fast and Slow (Kahneman), 65–66

Thore, Per, 138

time, giving the gift of, 118–120

time on task, 76

Tomasello, Michael, 56

The Top Five Regrets of the Dying (Ware), 13–14

Touching the Void (Simpson), 10

Toyota Production System, 149

The Toyota Way, 29

transparency paradox of, 29–30

trust, 11, 21–22, 26, 78–79

Turicchi, Scott, 77

U

UCLA Bruins, xi–xii, 22

Ulbrick, Margie, 104

unethical behavior, 142–144

University of Albany, 21

University of Amsterdam, 147–148

University of Virginia, McIntire School of Commerce, 122

unworthiness, 4–6

USS Sides, 131

USS Vincennes, 129–131

V

vacations, 157–158

validity, illusion of, 66

value, adding, 123

Vandross, Luther, 55

VA Pittsburgh Healthcare System, 149–150

Vaughan, Diane, 142–144

vision, xii, 81

visual control, 28–30

visualization, 18–19

vitality, sharing, 124

Vogel, Meghan, 116

Volkswagen, 142

W

Ware, Bronnie, 13–14

Weihenmayer, Erik, 62

Welch, Jack, 96–97

Whitaker, Todd, 142

Winner, David, 18

Winslet, Kate, 3

Wiseman, Richard, 12–13

Wooden, John, xi–xii, 22

work, embracing, 116–118

work hours, 48–49, 155, 157–158, 162–163

work-life balance, 48–49, 161–163

World Health Organization, 3

Y

Yates, Simon, 9–10