10
MEANING AT THE CORE: Life
Man’s search for meaning is the primary motivation in his life and not a “secondary rationalization” of instinctual drives.1 (V. Frankl)
The seven core principles we have derived from Viktor Frankl’s System of Logotherapy and Existential Analysis provide insight into how we all can live more meaningful lives. From our viewpoint, Frankl’s work can be summarized into three key assertions:
1. We always have the freedom to choose. This relates to the freedom of will. Principle 1. Exercise the freedom to choose your attitude helps us understand that, although we might not choose what happens to us, our attitude toward what happens to us is always our choice.
2. We are responsible for searching for meaning in our lives. The search for meaning is essential to human existence. Life has meaning regardless of circumstances. Principle 2. Realize your will to meaning suggests that we must look for meaning in our lives and we must trust that we will find this meaning.
3. We can find meaning in the moment. It’s not necessarily about the search for meaning in life per se, but rather the search for meaning in our own lives, in every moment, that matters. Using Frankl’s principles—Principle 3: Detect the meaning of life’s moments; Principle 4: Don’t work against yourself; Principle 5: Look at yourself from a distance; Principle 6: Shift your focus of attention; and Principle 7: Extend beyond yourself—helps us find deeper meaning in all of our life experiences.
We, like so many others, have benefited greatly from the wisdom of Viktor Frankl. In much of our work and personal experiences, we find ourselves referring to his ageless wisdom, especially the seven core principles outlined throughout this book. The key message of this book and from our work in general is that meaning must be at the foundation or core of our lives, including our work lives. Without an understanding of the deeper meaning in our lives, we are unable to truly connect with others. Without understanding what brings us meaning, we lack clear direction to guide us through the chaos of life and are vulnerable to and can be easily and possibly negatively affected by outside influences. Without an appreciative attitude, we are less likely to remain engaged and build our personal resilience to cope with all of life’s ebbs and flows.
The Crisis of Meaning
As we discussed in chapter 1, there is a crisis of meaning in our world today. Many people have told us that they feel overwhelmed, lonely, and unfulfilled. In chasing the “good life,” they have sacrificed their relationships, their health, and their sanity and, at the end of the day, still find themselves with lives and work that bring them little joy and meaning. Depression is on the rise, and many people simply can’t cope with the pace of change brought on by technological, cultural, and social transformations. When individuals don’t find meaning in their personal and work lives, they are left with a sense of emptiness or inner void, often filled with self-destructive behaviors.
What threatens contemporary man is the alleged meaninglessness of his life, or, as I call it, the existential vacuum within him. And when does this vacuum open up, when does this so often latent vacuum become manifest? In the state of boredom.2 (V. Frankl)
More people than ever before, in spite of obvious advances in our way and quality of life, appear to be experiencing this existential angst or are lost in an empty space that Frankl described as an existential vacuum. The term existential relates to our existence, addressing such questions as, Why do we exist? and, What is the meaning of it all?
Through our intensive work on meaning with individual clients and organizations, many people have told us they feel empty because they have lost connections with others due to the transitory nature of life—moving across the country; no longer belonging to or feeling connected to neighborhoods, organizations, social groups, religious groups, or political causes; feeling disconnected from society and fearing that their country is on the wrong track; worrying that terrorists will further disrupt their lives and they will have no one to turn to for help and support. People have shared with us that they feel empty because they lack purpose in their day, not having an inspiring reason to get up in the morning. They worry about being left behind in the job market as more organizations lay off workers or cut hours and benefits. They worry about the instability of constantly chasing contract or part-time jobs. Like hamsters on the treadmill of life, they are running faster and faster and still getting nowhere. Older people have told us they wonder if they should have done something more or something different with their lives. Did they settle for something less than they really wanted or expected? People are overwhelmed with financial pressures, drowning under a stack of bills that can’t be paid, and stressing about family obligations (caring for young children, wayward teens, and elders suffering from dementia). They worry that their unhealthy lifestyles have led to a vicious cycle of obesity, low energy, and depression.
Many people sense this emptiness, this existential vacuum, but are not sure what to do about it. Some turn to drugs and other forms of avoidance, some put on a happy face to mask the issues, others simply withdraw and postpone living a full life. Although not imprisoned with real barbed wire and steel, many people feel like they are prisoners in their own lives. Consider Joshua. From the outside, Joshua appeared to have it all—a successful job, a loving wife, two healthy children, and a few close friends from high school; yet, deep down, he was miserable. He spoke of wanting to drive to the airport, get on a plane, and “run away.” He spoke of leaving his wife and family, moving to a new city, changing jobs—signs he wanted to disconnect from his life. Unfortunately for Joshua, and others in a similar situation, running away won’t help. His problems would follow him to the next relationship, the next city, the next job. There comes a time when you have to stop and face the existential issues and be willing to change and grow. As the saying goes, “You can change without growing, but you can’t grow without changing.”
The good news is that no one needs to be stuck in an existential void; occasional periods of existential angst notwithstanding, no one needs to be in a permanent crisis of meaning. There are answers. As Frankl said, “Each of us has his own inner concentration camp . . . we must deal with, with forgiveness and patience as full human beings; as we are and what we will become.”3 He was not the first great thinker to make such a claim about the search for meaning being the primary, intrinsic motivation of human beings. Thousands of years ago, the ancient Greek philosophers, such as Heraclitus, Socrates, Plato, and Aristotle, talked about the human quest for meaning and living the “good life.” Indeed, Plato is famously quoted as having made the following observation about human motivation: “Man, a being in search of meaning.”
More and more people are on this search for meaning. An increasing number have revealed to us that they want to feel inspired and they want their lives and work to really matter. They want to maximize their full potential. They want to find deeper meaning, especially in the wake of the country’s financial crisis. According to Parade magazine’s Crisis Impact Poll, “creating a meaningful life” is important to 68 percent of respondents. This does not mean that the other 32 percent are not interested in creating a meaningful life; rather, more than two-thirds of the respondents are now conscious of the need to make creating a meaningful life a priority. In addition, 83 percent of respondents reported that they were reconsidering what they actually need in life. These findings are described as the “upside of coping” with the country’s economic crisis.4 In other words, a positive consequence of the economic crisis is bringing the search for meaning into focus for many people, encouraging them to take meaningful action to cope with the profound changes taking place in their lives.
Meaning Analysis
As quoted in Plato’s Apology, the classical Greek philosopher Socrates said, “The unexamined life is not worth living.” Doing some sort of meaning (that is, existential) analysis is an important part of examining our lives to find deeper meaning. All human beings, Frankl would say, ultimately have both the freedom and the responsibility to position themselves along two key dimensions of life (Figure 2).5 The horizontal axis in Figure 2 depicts the dimension of failure (–) and success (+). The vertical axis represents the dimension of meaning (+) and despair (–), where meaning refers to the fulfillment or realization of the person’s will to meaning and despair is the failure to find meaning or the conviction that life is meaninglessness.
Over the course of their lives, many people experience different degrees of success in their work and personal lives, and they have a shifting awareness of meaning. They thus find themselves at different points on the figure at different times. Consider how people might be placed in one of the four quadrants or along one of the two axes based on their situation. People who might fall into Quadrant D are those who are highly successful in a traditional, material sense, yet unfulfilled, suffering from inner emptiness or despair. An example would be a wealthy business executive who nevertheless may view his or her work as unfulfilling or life as devoid of meaning, or both. In contrast, consider people in Quadrant A in the figure. These people might not be considered extremely financially well-off by societal standards—they may be working in a low-profile job or volunteering for a nonprofit cause and may exist modestly on a meager salary or pension—but they may be quite fulfilled by their work and in their everyday life.
Figure 2. Existential Analysis.
Quadrant B in the figure is the place for people who are both successful in a societal sense and fulfilled in a meaning sense. You might recall the story of Tom Chappell (told in chapter 4), cofounder of Tom’s of Maine, and how he moved along the vertical axis toward meaning while remaining on the success side of the horizontal dimension. And don’t forget the remarkable, inspirational lives of Christopher and Dana Reeve (told in chapter 3). By contrast, Quadrant C is where we would find those people who could be described as down and out. They are unsuccessful in relative terms and, more importantly, unfulfilled, perhaps even empty, in terms of their sense of personal meaning.
Meaning analysis challenges us to step back and reconsider what is important in our lives by asking, What do I want from life? and How do I define success for myself? Some people say they just want financial wealth, but when we dig deeper, we find that most people really want freedom, purpose, good health, and connection with others. In other words, they want to live a meaningful life. When we only measure success in financial and material terms, we limit the value of our humanity. When we only strive for more money and “things,” we miss the real journey of life. Meaning is at the heart of what makes us human. When we take the time to know ourselves and honor who we really are, we move deeper into meaning. In a 1953 letter, Frankl wrote, “It is said: where there is a will, there is a way; I add, where there is an aim, there is a will.” With less structure in our lives—fewer organizations and groups to belong to and guide us—it is even more important that we know what we want from life (our aim) and make the effort (our will) to discover what is truly meaningful to us.
MEANINGology®
Our work has now expanded to include a broader study of meaning, which we call MEANINGology, defined as “the study and practice of meaning in life, work, and society.” Through our leading-edge research, meaning tests, education programs, and strategic advising, we are well positioned to lead this emerging field of meaning. We call it the meaning movement. Our overall goal is to lead the way to a more meaningful future for all. While the seven principles outlined throughout this book help focus the learning and discussion of Viktor Frankl’s teachings in Logotherapy and Existential Analysis, we felt that there was still need for more clarification and guidance on how to put into action the human quest for meaning, both individually and collectively. The specific goal of our work is to take this complex topic, demystify it, and make it more accessible by outlining specific action steps that people can take to find more meaning in their daily lives.
Let’s begin with our definition of meaning. Many people use the word meaning in their everyday conversations but fail to define what they actually mean. Some confuse the concepts of purpose and meaning, using the terms interchangeably but never actually outlining how they differ. Others say meaning is about a “state of mind,” “engagement,” or “using our strengths.” We feel these definitions are limiting and not especially helpful in a practical sense. Still others define meaning as “something that is significant” or “something that matters to us.” While we agree with these latter two definitions, we wanted to delve deeper, in a Logotherapeutic or existential sense, to consider the metaphysical aspects of the whole study of meaning. We define meaning as “resonance with our true nature or core essence.” For example, when something feels significant or we know that it matters to us, it is because it resonates with who we truly are—it resonates with our core essence. At the heart of what makes us unique, core essence is what defines us as human beings.
Now that we have defined the term meaning, how do we actually go about bringing more meaning into our everyday lives? We, like Viktor Frankl, believe that meaning already exists and that it is our job and our personal responsibility to find or discover this meaning in our lives. Through our research and experience, we discovered three common elements or areas for finding deeper meaning that can be viewed as an integration, simplification, and extension of the seven Logotherapeutic principles described in chapters 3 through 9. These three elements form a new paradigm (defined as a unique way of thinking or mental model), which we call our OPA! Formula for Meaning:
• Connect meaningfully with others (O)
• Engage with deeper purpose (P)
• Embrace life with attitude (A)
These three elements spell OPA!—an easy-to-remember, simple acronym, a mantra for living and working that can provide further insights on your path to meaning.
In one of our books on meaning, The OPA! Way: Finding Joy & Meaning in Everyday Life & Work, we reveal how we arrived at this formula during our odyssey throughout Greece and via our intensive review of Greek philosophy, mythology, and culture. We outline the three elements of our formula and describe in detail the corresponding nine practices and twenty-seven pathways that have been empirically derived to support these elements. What follows is a brief summary of the three elements of the OPA! Formula for Meaning (others, purpose, and attitude)—all of which, we should emphasize, are closely correlated to the tenets of Logotherapy and Existential Analysis espoused by Viktor Frankl and described in earlier chapters of this book.
Connect Meaningfully with Others (O)
A recent article in The Guardian highlighted the issues teens face today in navigating the chaotic world.6 Although the research revealed that teens (ages 14–21, sometimes referred to as the “Smartphone Generation,” “Generation Z,” or “Generation K”) suffer from the typical teenage angst associated with the pressures of schoolwork and personal appearance, the research also showed that today’s teens are more profoundly anxious and distrustful than in previous times. Having lived with their parents’ struggle with financial insecurity, 79 percent of the teens interviewed worry about getting a job and 72 percent worry about debt. Only 6 percent of those interviewed say they trust big corporations to do the right thing, and only 10 percent say they trust government to do the right thing—both groups were criticized for not caring about the ordinary person. What was most revealing from the research was that, although technology is essential to this generation, 80 percent of those interviewed prefer to spend time with their friends in person rather than on the phone or online. This generation is far lonelier than many of us had realized; they yearn for connection, especially face-to-face interactions. This supports what Aristotle said many centuries ago: “Man is by nature a social animal.” As humans, we are social beings and, at our core, we crave interacting and belonging with others.
Connecting meaningfully with others is the first element in the OPA! Formula for Meaning. We can connect more meaningfully by viewing our interactions with others as being part of a village. Metaphorically speaking, we use the concept of “the village” to define and describe many groups of people: from a few family members to a collection of people in a neighborhood, organization, city, or even nation. What makes a village is not the number of people in the group but the synergistic energy that is shared between and binds the people who choose to belong to the village. The crisis of meaning is partly due to the lack of authentic connection with others. We are not at our best when we isolate ourselves. Survival of the village, both physically and metaphysically, is dependent on the collective strength of all those who are in and part of the village. Whether someone chooses to actively engage with the village, or whether someone chooses to withdraw, all actions contribute, both positively and negatively, to the state of the village. The village, as an integrated whole, is actually greater than the sum of its parts because its vitality depends on the interactions of all those who live or work there.
Meaning is maximized when we trust both ourselves and others. When we don’t trust others, when we don’t respect them or try to find common ground, we hurt our own chances for finding deeper meaning in our lives. Showing respect for others, even when we might not agree with their strong opinions or points of view, is a path to further meaning in our own lives. When we find out what others are interested in, we can connect more deeply with them while expanding our own awareness of the world. When we encounter conflict, we should stop to understand why the other person acted the way she or he did instead of defensively pointing out their flaws and condemning them for being an idiot. In many instances the person who is so busy pointing out someone else’s flaws is often doing so to avoid looking at their own flaws!
The village is built one conversation at a time. To find deeper meaning, we must build the connections in our villages every day. We must reach out to others, begin new conversations, and show that we care about something beyond ourselves. By doing so, we demonstrate that we understand that we cannot thrive alone; we are dependent on others. The village gives us a sense of comfort, knowing that someone will be there for us and we, in turn, will be there for them. We will have meaning in our own lives as long as others need us and we need them. We need to ask ourselves if we truly honor others in our villages. Do we strive to form authentic relationships with others, or are we simply passing through, using others to serve our needs? Do we surround ourselves with encouraging people who inspire the possibilities in life, or do we settle for the mediocre, with the majority of our interactions being superficial communications (such as texting or via social media platforms like Facebook)?
In our MEANINGology practice, we have developed three tests designed to gauge a respondent’s current level of thinking and feeling regarding the state of meaning in their life and work as well as within a team or organizational setting. The tests provide a score in each of the three elements of our meaning formula: others, purpose, and attitude. Interestingly, the highest scores recorded in our MEANINGology Life test are for the element “others.” Many participants report that they are doing well in the area of connecting meaningfully with others, especially when compared to their test scores for the purpose and attitude dimensions (described below). More respondents feel that they find meaning through connecting with others than by other means. This reinforces the fact that building meaningful relationships is an important part of the human quest for meaning.
Engage with Deeper Purpose (P)
Years ago, at a family gathering, we asked our little niece Anna, who was about four at the time, what she was going to be when she grew up. Anna turned to us and answered confidently, “An adult.” Her answer was met with a round of laughter around the dinner table. To this day, we think that Anna’s innocent response was the most candid of any answers we have heard to that common question. We typically expect people to respond with a chosen field of study or work. Perhaps to receive a more meaningful answer, however, we should instead ask, Who do you want to be when you grow up?—an inquiry that is not tied to a specific work or career path.
Engaging with deeper purpose is the second element in our OPA! Formula for Meaning. It is important to note that purpose and meaning are not the same thing. Unlike purpose, meaning is not a destination per se because it doesn’t stop when we find it—or at least when we think that we’ve found it—and it exists, as Viktor Frankl espoused, at all times in life. Purpose is an integral part or element of the overall concept of meaning. Having a purpose—especially one that helps define and guide life—is, of course, an important matter. However, not everyone may be fortunate enough to find or fulfill their purpose in life. Perhaps their lives are cut short by a tragic accident, as a consequence of war or natural disaster, or from an incurable disease. Or perhaps they found some type of purpose in their day but felt that this purpose was weak in connection with whom they felt they truly were. Such misfortunes may leave us wondering about and saddened by lives that did not have the opportunity to fulfill their full potential.
But even though someone’s life purpose may not have been fully revealed or fulfilled, it does not mean that their lives did not have meaning. On the contrary, all life has meaning. Even if someone’s connection to purpose may be weak, a person can still find meaning by connecting meaningfully with others (O) and embracing life with attitude (A), the third element of our OPA! Formula for Meaning (described later in this chapter). What does the expression “living the good life” mean? When we ask people in North America to define it, most conversations revolve around the pursuit of financial and material wealth; but in Greece the focus on accumulating financial wealth is overshadowed by the express need to live a life of purpose. This purpose usually involves knowing oneself, committing to authentic values and goals, and reaching out beyond oneself to be of service to others. In essence, this approach focuses on making a life, not making a living.
Many people hide who they are in order to fit in with the expectations of others. How often have you witnessed someone trying to be someone they are not? We once attended a dinner party where it was very obvious that the hostess was trying to be someone she was not, acting the role of a sophisticate and a member of high society as depicted in the television show Downton Abbey! It was sad to see, for the woman was at her core very lovely but for some reason she felt the need to put on airs. In other cases, people are pressured to follow a path chosen by parents and guardians, even though deep down, that path may have been vicariously chosen for the parents or guardians. In my (Elaine’s) situation my father decided early on that I should become a tax accountant (not an expression of my core essence!). When I ultimately chose a job path opposite to his choice, he withdrew support for me in a manipulative way to steer me back onto his preferred track. Fortunately, I realized at a young age that my core essence, my true nature, was not what my parents told me it was. I knew intuitively that I was responsible for creating my own life and that I must follow my own path. As the ancient Greek playwright and philosopher Euripides so wisely said: “There is just one life for each of us: our own.” Our time on Earth is short; we must not waste it by living someone else’s life.
Much of the discussion about purpose tends to revolve around choosing tasks or work in the form of a job or career. However, we feel strongly that we need to look deeper. At the very heart of the meaning challenge is the quest to know oneself and then to use this knowledge to shape a full life of meaning. Purpose, as part of the OPA! Formula for Meaning, is about your search for identity and understanding your core essence. Every living thing in the world has a natural state and qualities or attributes that make it who it is. Our greatest challenge in life is to discover and then embrace our core essence. Being depressed and feeling disconnected are often signs that we are not living in accordance with our core essence and not realizing our highest potential. From an existential perspective, we will only find fulfillment in life when we connect with our core essence.
Many people have asked us, “How do I find my core essence?” Our advice is always personalized, but here are some common recommendations:
• All experiences can teach you about yourself. You can never really be off your path since all experiences have meaning, and if you step back and look at them with fresh eyes, you will realize that each experience can provide insight into who you really are. We call these experiences “mini-meanings,” clues to help you identify your unique path. Some people suggest that you will know your purpose and your path if you are having fun. We disagree. All experiences, seemingly positive or negative, whether enjoyable or not, provide learning and, as a result, opportunities for personal growth. Life is not about the quest for pleasure; rather, it is about the quest for meaning.
• Reframe your life in a larger context. Become more aware of the patterns in your life. Recognize and understand if you are repeating behaviors—such as reacting the same way in certain situations or recycling experiences that may or may not be serving your highest good or best interests. Like a scene from the popular film Groundhog Day, in which the main character is doomed to relive the same day over and over again until he gets it right, you may be repeating these patterns until you learn a certain lesson. You may have made decisions that resulted in your life evolving in a certain direction that you now realize is not what you really want. You may have to give up some of your current life, including a shift in attitude, in order to become who you authentically want to be. Remember, you can change without growing, but you can’t grow without changing!
• Ask others for their insights. Be open to new perspectives so that you can broaden your understanding of yourself. Learn about your “shadow side” or “dark side”—the aspects of your personality that you don’t know much about or may have repressed because they don’t fit the image you are trying to portray or project to others. Learn about your strengths and weaknesses. They all provide valuable insights into who you really are as you move along your path to finding deeper meaning and realizing your highest potential. In this regard, we have found in our work with clients of all kinds that the SWOT analysis technique (looking at your personal strengths, weaknesses, opportunities, and threats), used by organizations for strategic planning and competitive analysis, is very useful for conducting a personal meaning analysis. By faithfully identifying your key attributes and categorizing them according to the SWOT format, ideally by yourself and with the help of others, you expand the horizons of truly understanding yourself in a real-world context.
• Look beyond yourself to find purpose. Actualizing your full potential involves using your talents, character, and values to help others. Ask yourself how you are drawn to help and what you are passionate about doing, as a positive and meaningful way of contributing to the world. Put differently, in a quote attributed to the famous Spanish artist Pablo Picasso: “The meaning of life is to find your gift. The purpose of life is to give it away.”
• Reconnect with your childhood. Understanding your core essence or true nature often involves returning to what you naturally like to do. You can benefit from reviewing what naturally energized you as a child.
Making the effort to reconnect with your core essence will help you build a life of meaning for yourself, instead of being or feeling pressured by outside opinions and comments to live a life that is not yours. To Viktor Frankl, being able to question our lives was a manifestation of being truly human: “No ant, no bee, no animal will ever raise the question of whether or not its existence has a meaning, but man does. It’s his privilege that he cares for a meaning to his existence. He is not only searching for such a meaning, but he is even entitled to it. . . . After all, it’s a sign of intellectual honesty and sincerity.”7
Embrace Life with Attitude (A)
Why do some people seem more capable of coping with life’s challenges than others? Why do some people choose to see the glass of life as half full while others see it as half empty, or even half empty and leaking? Embracing life with attitude is the third element in our OPA! Formula for Meaning. Having a resilient and appreciative attitude involves embracing all of life: the ups and the downs, the joys and the sorrows, the good times and the not-so-good times. Without this type of attitude, it is difficult to find meaning (Figure 3).
Figure 3. The Meaning Difference.
Meaning is the energy or fuel that motivates us to achieve our full potential as human beings. We must keep track of our meaning “fuel gauge” to determine if we are drained of energy or full of energy. As with our cars, we can’t run on empty. We can’t constantly feel apathetic, bored, cynical, indifferent, disenchanted, or imprisoned. We must strive to find meaning in our lives and keep the fuel gauge as full as possible so that we have the energy to deal effectively with life’s challenges and achieve our highest potential.
Change is inevitable, yet so many people are endlessly striving for “balance” in their life. Such balance is an illusion, however. Heraclitus, the ancient Greek philosopher who was a contemporary of the Buddha and Lao Tzu, is known for his timeless insights about change: “You never step into the same river twice” and “Everything is in flux.” The river, like life, is always flowing and changing, and we do not have any control over the river or life. Building personal resilience—the ability to recover from or adjust easily to change—is far more valuable and effective at reducing stress and finding meaning in the moment than trying to control life’s activities or events.
On our travels we have witnessed firsthand the consequences of trying to control the river of life. Not too long ago, for example, we were in Hong Kong for a series of public speaking engagements. As in other parts of the People’s Republic of China, families in Hong Kong often have only one child, and all focus is placed on the success of this one child. As a result, children attend school six days a week, with numerous afterschool programs designed to secure one of the few positions available in top universities in Asia, Europe, and North America. We visited and had the opportunity to speak at one school where the rates of depression and suicide were unusually high, including a recent suicide by one of the favorite teachers. The school was interested in bringing meaning to the center of its mission to deal with such issues as bullying, disengagement, low self-esteem, and other issues facing their at-risk youth. Teaching our OPA! Formula for Meaning was a valuable first step in helping the students, teachers, and administrators cope with the stress they faced.8
Despite our desire to control life by only experiencing pleasure and happiness, we must realize that all of life involves struggle. For some reason, we seem to appreciate the struggles depicted in movies and on television, but we don’t want to experience those same struggles in our personal lives. Imagine if a movie’s story line involved only happy moments—most likely, we would say that it was a very boring movie. Instead, we are attracted, like voyeurs, to films with struggles, drama, villains, and helpers, such as the characters and storylines depicted in successful films like The Hunger Games trilogy, ET, The Godfather, The Wizard of Oz, Casablanca, the Star Wars franchise, Titanic, and the like.
We must embrace all of life with attitude. We must understand how our fears may be limiting us and attempt to change how we are living in order to decrease our stress and anxiety. We now know through scientific studies that there are many links between stress and illness. Indeed, chronic stress, such as the kind people experience when facing marital, financial, or work-related problems, affects a person’s ability to function and may even lower his or her immunity to disease and illness. How we interpret events in our lives and how we deal with fear and anger can affect the flow of energy throughout the body. How we are able or not able to express our emotions makes a big difference on our physical, emotional, and spiritual health. The practice of medicine is now shifting to holistic or integrated medicine, looking at the context of disease—the causes, not just the symptoms, of disease. Interestingly, this movement is coming full circle back to the foundation of medicine when the ancient Greek physician Hippocrates looked at patients’ whole lifestyle to determine the root causes of their disease. We also see a meaningful movement back to the Cretan or Mediterranean diet, eating a plant-based diet, rather than processed foods, which the human body has a difficult time digesting. Shifting the focus from disease and mental illness to well-being and lifestyle can transform our nation’s “sick-care” diseasemanagement system into a true health-care system and, in doing so, help people live healthier, more meaningful lives.
When we transition from one phase of life to another, such as graduating from school, moving to a new city, changing jobs or careers, or retiring, many of us face the challenge of adjusting not only our living conditions but also our attitude. It is especially during these times of transition that our perspective on life’s meaning is put to the test. Importantly, all transitions in life can be opportunities to grow and find meaning, as opposed to blindly regressing back to the way we’ve always done things, back to our comfort zones. These are choices that we must make for ourselves, driven in large part by our attitude and by not being prisoners of our thoughts.
Rather than having a so-called midlife crisis, we can begin a search for deeper love, purpose, and meaning that becomes possible in life’s second half. Writer Mark Gerzon explores this idea fully in his book Coming into Our Own: Understanding the Adult Metamorphosis.9 Envisioning life as a quest, not a crisis, after midlife is an opportunity that holds great power for all of us. But how we view “midlife” is driven by our choice of attitude. We feel that too much focus has been placed on the financial aspects of retirement and not enough on the existential issues many people face during this particular time in their lives. To retire literally means “to withdraw.” Many people retire early but then face an abyss of loneliness and lack of purpose. If they retire at fifty-five, and we’ve seen many people who do or say they want to do so, what are they going to “do” for the next thirty years (based on average life expectancy)? Chasing their youth with new romantic relationships or erasing wrinkles with plastic surgery will only get these retirees so far on the search for deeper meaning in their life.
Human beings are, by and large, living longer but often we do not know how to live. Midlife and retirement are valuable life stages when we can redesign our lives for fresh and meaningful challenges and opportunities. We are all the authors of our own autobiographies, and we can change the stories of our lives. We can become valuable resources in helping others. After all, life is a creative process, a spiritual adventure that is not dependent on age per se. Our lives are a matter of choice. Live your life with meaning at the core and make your life as meaningful as you can!
Meaning Reflections
Referring to Figure 2, in what quadrant would you place yourself? Where would you like to be? Do you have the kind of aim (purpose) and the will that Viktor Frankl referred to, to move yourself to the desired quadrant?
Meaning Questions
• How do you define “success” in your personal life?
• Describe your core essence or true nature.
• In which area do you believe you are stronger: connecting meaningfully with others (O), engaging with deeper purpose (P), or embracing life with attitude (A)?
Meaning Affirmation
I will strive to live my own life, connected to my core essence.