An important theme running through this book is the idea that a great boss is someone who helps and supports their people to do their best work. This worldview encourages us to engage in positive, developmental behaviors such as coaching, delegating, and communicating openly.

But this approach to management assumes that employees have both the will and the skill to do their jobs well. Even if this assumption is valid 95% of the time, we still have to figure out how to act the other 5% of the time.

The reality is that there will always be a small number of people who, for whatever reason, are not interested in doing a good job or lack the basic capability to be effective. They show up late, they shirk, they complain, and they make frequent mistakes – and their negative behaviors create problems for those around them.

One of the hallmarks of a really good boss is the ability to handle these situations quickly and effectively. In many ways, this is the toughest part of the manager's job because it involves dealing with unpleasant situations and making difficult decisions. It is always tempting to duck the difficult choices and to give an individual the benefit of the doubt. But keep in mind that one bad apple spoils the entire bunch – in other words, if you allow one individual to get away with behaving badly, the whole organization suffers. The title of Bob Sutton's best-selling book The No Asshole Rule captured this point perfectly.

In this chapter, we discuss five techniques for managing difficult situations. First, we look at interpersonal dynamics: We consider how to resolve conflict effectively (#76), and we look at how to deal with bad behavior at work (#77). Then we look more widely at the phenomenon of office politics (#78) in terms of how it manifests itself, how you can mitigate it, and how to protect your team from it. Finally, we look at the particular challenge of individuals not doing well in their own role. We provide advice for handling poor performance (#79), and we consider the art of being tactful (#80).

76. Resolve Conflict Effectively (Fisher and Ury's Principled Negotiation)

As we discussed in the previous section (#75), conflict within a team can be upsetting for those involved, but it can also be positive – for example, when it involves discussing ideas that clash with one another and better ideas emerge as a result.

Using conflict to spark creativity is great in theory, but there is often a lot of emotion involved in these situations. If this isn't addressed as part of the process, people can get very upset with one another, and their working relationships can be irretrievably damaged.

This is where Roger Fisher and William Ury's principled negotiation is useful. Popularized in their book Getting to Yes, they suggest the following principles:

1. Separate people from problems. It is easy for a difference of opinion between people to become “personal.” So, an important trick is to separate people and problems: You need to help your colleagues see that there are real and honest differences of opinion between them and that the other side is not just “being difficult.”
2. Listen carefully to people's different interests. Instead of treating the discussion as a negotiation where people have established positions and need to compromise, treat it as a problem-solving process where you focus on people's interests – their needs, desires, concerns, and fears. Listen carefully and honestly, without interrupting, and try to understand why the people in conflict think the way they do. Then “play this back” to them so that they know you understand where they're coming from. (You'll find that this mindful listening (#50) takes a lot of the emotion out of the situation and helps you understand their perspective.)
3. Listen first, talk second. If you are part of the conflict, you should talk about your own interests only when you've fully understood the other person's perspective and they've confirmed that understanding. As you do, keep your comments factual and focused on work-related issues, and try to use “I” statements rather than “you” statements so that no one feels attacked. Ask the other person to play their understanding of your interests back to you to confirm that they understand what you're saying.
4. “Invent” options for mutual gain. Now, without committing to any option, brainstorm a range of creative options that you could use to resolve the situation in such a way that both sides have their interests met and, ideally, gain in the process.
5. Choose between options using objective criteria. Finally, choose between the options you've explored using criteria that are as objective as possible. Make sure that the options chosen address people's interests appropriately but are also aligned with the team's and organization's mission.

Source: Adapted from Fisher and Ury 1981.

77. Deal with Bad Behavior at Work

People get into conflict with one another for many reasons, and as we've seen, such conflicts sometimes lead to creativity and improved decision making. However, at other times, people can behave in a way that undermines the team and poisons the atmosphere. You need to take a firm line in such situations.

Unfortunately, it's often hard to tell if a behavior is genuinely wrong. For example, is it right for someone to turn up at work with extensive facial piercings? This may be fine in a creative marketing agency, but it may be deeply problematic for someone serving clients in a private bank. And is it okay for someone to yell at a colleague? Most people would say no, but in some work settings, this type of aggressive behavior is acceptable. So how do you decide what constitutes “bad behavior”?

There are some obvious tests: Is the behavior legal? Does it comply with organizational policies and procedures? And does it comply with professional or organizational codes of ethics? It's easy to know what to do in these cases, but you may not come across them often – most people know not to cross these lines, and your recruitment processes will hopefully “weed out” this type of rule breaker.

This leaves a whole lot of behaviors that don't fit with the normal rules, and it's often quite hard to know how to act in such circumstances. This is where the following tests can help:

• Does the behavior support or harm the team's mission? Using our earlier example of facial piercings, there's a clear risk that these could repel the clients of the private bank, and as a manager, you'd need to act to avoid this. Customers of the marketing agency, however, may see piercings as evidence that it is tuned in to “youth culture,” in which case they are not a problem.
• Does the behavior promote or harm the cohesion of the team? Team members in the private bank may feel that facial piercings create a negative perception of their professionalism as a team, and this may cause conflict. In the marketing agency, piercings may just contribute to a cool, fun, creative atmosphere where people feel free to be open and be themselves.
• Does the behavior cause unnecessary harm to the interests or safety of any individual member of the team? In the private bank, it may be acceptable for others to express their dislike of the team member's piercings, as long as it's done in a proportionate way and doesn't cross over into bullying. In the marketing agency, it's unlikely that anyone would complain in the first place.

78. Deal with Office Politics, and Protect Your Team from Them

Office politics refers to the way people manipulate others – for example, by gossiping and sharing confidential information to further their own personal objectives. Of course, there is always some of this going on, but a high level of office politics can be deeply corrosive within an organization. It's something that you need to be alert to so that you don't end up being undermined by it.

All of us do things at work that aren't strictly aligned with the organization's mission or our key objectives. Often these are small things – for example, social activities or personal favors that actually help our teams function more smoothly. We also need to be able to work effectively with senior and influential people around us and win resources for our teams, and this is where skills such as stakeholder management (#91), influencing skills (#94) and win-win negotiation (#100) become increasingly important as we climb the organizational ladder.

Some people see these types of activity as “political,” but done in an open, honest way, they are a necessary part of functioning successfully within a complex organization.

Where this type of behavior becomes destructive, though, is when it focuses on the interests of individuals – often senior individuals – rather than on the interests of the people the organization is supposed to serve. In such circumstances, “rules” start getting broken, people get hurt unfairly, and decent treatment of people starts to break down.

People hate working in an environment like this. Gossip grapevines go crazy; people become cynical; goodwill, employee engagement, and creativity collapse; and the best people throw their hands in the air in exasperation and move on.

So, how can you deal with office politics in your team?

The answer lies with you, and it comes down to setting a good example (#49), leading in an inspiring, transformational way (#54), and making sure that people know how their work contributes to the organization's mission (#81 and 26.) If you do these things, then it's easy for everyone to apply the type of bad behavior at work tests we looked at in #77. Political behavior becomes obvious to everyone, and you can deal with it firmly and decisively.

And how can you protect your team if there is a lot of office politics going on around you? One answer is to ignore it and just get on with your job. But there is a risk that you and your team members lose out to colleagues who are actively engaging with politics. Another answer is to ditch the organization and move on to a better, less political place. The third and best approach is to try to do something about it. Running an employee survey with office politics questions is a good starting point (there is a perceptions of organizational politics scale that may be useful here; see the link below).

If you want to continue working in an organization and you can't change its culture, then you'll need to learn how to play the positive side of the political game and neutralize its negative side. To do this:

1. Identify the direct and indirect stakeholders in your work (we'll look at this in more detail in #91). These are the people who can impact the work you do positively or negatively, and you should be seeking to “manage” these people's views of what you and your team do.
2. Understand who strongly influences your most important stakeholders, and add these people to your list. You need to manage these people's views as well.
3. Build honest relationships with these people. Avoid empty flattery, and do what you can to build relationships based on trust and respect. Listen carefully to what they need from your team, deliver these things, and make sure they are aware of the good work that your people are doing.
4. Keep an eye out for “negative play,” try to understand what is motivating it, and work out what to do to avoid it or neutralize its impact on you.
5. Be professional, positive, and polite; maintain your personal integrity; and – without being sanctimonious – uphold the team's and organization's mission and interests.

79. Handle Poor Performance

Conflict and bad behavior are just two things that can go wrong within a team. Another is that people fail to perform effectively. Clearly, this is frustrating and difficult for you, and it causes problems for your customers. Moreover, it can put a lot of pressure on other members of your team, who may have to do unnecessary work to compensate for the poor performer. All of this means that you need to deal with performance issues promptly, rather than letting them fester.

Poor performance has two basic sources – low motivation and low ability. It may be obvious which of these you're dealing with. If it isn't, it may be best to assume you're dealing with both until you have good evidence one way or the other.

You can address low motivation by linking people's work to the organization's mission and by setting clear goals for them – we saw how you can do this when we looked at organizational missions and key results. You can set a good example for them, listen carefully to any problems they're experiencing, and structure their jobs to be as motivating as possible. We saw how to do this in Chapters 5 and 9.

You can also provide appropriate support (#59), feedback (#68), and coaching (#69) to help people improve their level of motivation. Bring all of this together into a clear performance improvement plan, document what performance levels you expect to see by what dates, and meet regularly to monitor how the plan is progressing.

You'll need to deal with ability issues using a different approach, and this is where the five Rs of performance improvement from David Whetten and Kim Cameron's book Developing Management Skills can help. The steps are:

1. Resupply – Here, you talk to people who are underperforming and make sure that they have the resources and support they need to do their jobs well. It's hard to do a good job if these aren't in place.
2. Retrain – Make sure people have the skills and training they need to do a good job. In many sectors, technology is changing quickly. Without knowing it, people can find themselves with obsolete skills, and they can underperform as a result. Review the skills the underperformer needs, and provide appropriate training and development. (Skills matrices – see #67 – can help you evaluate this on a team-wide basis.)
3. Refit – If this doesn't work, look at the work the person is doing. Does he or she do a good job in some areas and a poor job in others? And can you change the person's role to focus on the former and minimize the latter without upsetting other team members? (Do this with aptitude issues. If people are lazy or lack self-discipline when doing boring or unpleasant jobs, you mustn't redistribute these to others – otherwise, you'll have a real crisis on your hands!)
4. Reassign – If the person is still struggling but he or she shows a good attitude to their work, you may need to move them into a different role where they can contribute effectively. This may involve demotion, which can be painful for all involved; however, it may be the right thing to do.
5. Release – If performance is still below an acceptable level after you've done all of this, then you'll need to let the person go. Otherwise, you're forcing other team members to “carry” the poor performer and you're showing that you're prepared to accept mediocrity, which will have a corrosive effect on team effectiveness.

80. Be Tactful

So far in this chapter, we've explored how to deal with some difficult but common management situations. You can manage these in a clumsy way or you can do them well, and this is where tact – the ability to communicate painful information sensitively – is important. If you prepare well and communicate your message tactfully, you've got a good chance of resolving the situation successfully. However, if you go in unprepared and blurt out the first thing that comes into your mind, you can make a difficult situation much worse.

So how can you deal with situations tactfully?

1. Prepare appropriately. Consider talking the situation through beforehand with an emotionally intelligent colleague – HR advisers are often the perfect people for this. Think about what the person you need to be talking to is likely to be thinking and feeling and what their points of sensitivity are likely to be. Try out the words you might use, explore the emotional impact they may have, and refine the message accordingly. Then consider how he or she may react and the different directions that your conversation may then go – you can prepare for these by role-playing different scenarios.
2. Choose the right time to talk. Find a time when the person you want to communicate with has time to talk, and be aware of the context – it may be best to delay your message if he or she is in the middle of dealing with highly emotional or difficult situations, for example.
3. Choose your words carefully, and listen. Be aware of the emotional impact of your words when you speak. Watch the other person's body language, and listen mindfully (#50) to the reply. If you're giving constructive criticism, remember to use “I” statements. For example, say, “I didn't understand what you were saying” rather than “You were unclear.”
4. Be aware of your body language. Think about the messages your own body language is giving, and make sure this is consistent with your message. Psychologist Albert Mehrabian famously discovered that when people are talking about feelings and attitudes, people understand as little as 7% of the message they receive from the words that people used, with 39% coming from tone of voice and 55% coming from facial expression. Make sure that you're “saying” what you mean to say with your body language!
5. Manage your emotions. If you find yourself getting angry or upset, give yourself time to calm down. Otherwise, you could find yourself saying something that you really regret!