An increasingly popular way of defining management is “enabling people to do their best work.” According to this worldview, a good boss is someone who creates a work environment where people feel highly motivated and contribute to the best of their ability.

How do you create this type of positive, high-energy work environment? The starting point is to put yourself in the shoes of your employees – so that you can understand their fears and concerns, their interests and needs. Most people want to do a good job in the workplace, and to a large extent, your role as their boss is to take obstacles out of the way and give them the space they need. Of course, as a boss, you also have to manage poor performance and bad behavior, but managing these types of difficult situations is the focus of a later chapter. In this chapter, we emphasize the positive – and even inspiring – ways you can help your people to do their best work.

Unfortunately, it's quite hard to create this type of positive working environment. Managers often find it difficult to get their team members to open up about their challenges and concerns. Often, they are so overwhelmed with tasks and with trying to keep their own bosses happy that they struggle to give their own people the attention they need. Another mistake is to adopt a “one-size-fits-all” approach to managing people, which works well for some but not for others.

This chapter provides several techniques and frameworks that help you overcome these challenges, so that you can understand your employees better and create an environment where they can do their best work.

We start with two specific techniques. Leading by example, also known as role modeling (#49), is a way of consciously exhibiting the behaviors and actions that you would like others to adopt. Mindful listening (#50) is a technique to help you make the most of discussions with people in your team – so that you properly understand what they are saying and respond in a thoughtful way.

Then we describe techniques designed to help you understand others better. First, we look at individual motivation. This is a large and complex topic, which we can only scratch the surface of here. We describe one classic framework, Herzberg's motivation-hygiene theory (#51), which provides practical insights into the things that motivate, and demotivate, your employees, and we provide references to several other approaches to motivation you might find useful. We also consider different generational characteristics (#52) to help you understand why generation Y employees (people born after 1980) have such different expectations and demands in the workplace than generation X and baby boomers.

Finally, we describe two broader frameworks that cut across these specific techniques. One is the notion of emotional intelligence (#53), which is an individual's capacity to make sense of and respond effectively to whatever is happening in his or her social environment. Emotional intelligence is a good thing for anyone to have, but it is particularly useful for someone who is trying to manage others. The other is the concept of transformational leadership (#54), which is an umbrella concept for how leaders inspire and help their employees to grow.

49. Lead by Example (Being a Good Role Model)

It is useful to start by looking at ourselves when we want to motivate and inspire others because the way we behave directly influences how others behave. “Do as I say, not do as I do” might have been acceptable to earlier generations, but it is likely to breed cynicism in today's business world.

The key idea here is that in a social environment, such as a workplace, people want to fit in, so they act in ways that seem to work for those around them (this is called social learning). Sure, we learn by being taught, by listening, and through trial and error, but we also learn by watching what other people do, seeing what does and doesn't work, and changing our behavior accordingly.

If we see people we respect stand firm and win in situations where we might usually feel scared, we learn that we can win in these situations. If we see people do things that harm others, directly or indirectly, and we see this “backfire” on them, we learn to not do these things. If we see people being rewarded for certain behaviors – even if these behaviors are bad – we learn that we may be rewarded for doing these things too, and we may do them ourselves.

This is why it's so important for us, as managers, to be good role models for the people who report to us, and it's also why we need to be careful about the behaviors we reward, whether intentionally or accidentally.

A few simple examples: If we want people to be punctual, we first need to be punctual ourselves. If we then compliment those who turn up early for meetings or we comment on people being late, people quickly get the message, and the majority will adapt accordingly. Sometimes you'll have a few holdouts – people who perhaps think they are so important they can show up late. You mustn't let them get away with this – you need to have a quiet word with these people, perhaps by reminding them that they are role models and need to act accordingly.

Equally, if we want integrity, we need to act with integrity. If we want people to control costs, we need to control our own costs. Other than explicit, contracted benefits, we shouldn't expect there to be special privileges of rank that allow us to behave differently from the people who work for us – if we want our people to do things, we need to do them ourselves.

As a manager of others, there are many levers we have at our disposal to push people to do things differently – we can change their job descriptions, we can use incentives, we can provide feedback during performance reviews, and so on. But these are heavy-handed techniques. It's always better to start by simply modeling the type of behavior we are looking for, as captured in the exhortation often attributed to Mahatma Gandhi: “Be the change you wish to see in the world.”

50. Listen Carefully and Intensely to Other People (Mindful Listening)

Being a good listener is an important life skill – it helps us boost our personal relationships, and it makes us good company. It is also a vital component of being a good boss. Indeed, when you hear people reflecting on the good and bad bosses they have had over the years, a common criticism of the bad bosses is “she was a really bad listener” or “he was only interested in his own point of view.”

Listening helps us understand what upsets the people who work for us so that we can help clear these things away, and it helps us appreciate what excites and energizes them about their work so that we can help them shape their work in this direction. But how, in the hurly-burly of a busy working day, can we find time to do this, particularly if we're feeling stressed and under pressure to deliver results and if we have a hundred things on our mind?

First, you need to create opportunities to talk and listen, and this just won't happen unless you do it in a structured way. This is a key reason why it's so important to have weekly or biweekly one-on-ones with the individuals who report to you. It's pretty much impossible to be an effective manager if you are not running these. (See the URL below for more on running effective one-on-one meetings. If you are not having such meetings, stop reading and set them up right now!)

Then you need to listen carefully. You may have heard of active listening – this is about paying attention to the other person, using good body language to encourage them to talk, reflecting back what they're saying to show you're listening, deferring judgment, and responding appropriately. This is good stuff, but it's all too easy to “go through the motions” with this and still not actually listen.

This is where the notion of mindful listening is useful. It ensures that you are fully mentally present during the conversation and that you have put aside all other distractions so you can concentrate completely on the other person. To do this:

• Take a few minutes before you meet to calm yourself, clear your mind of other issues, and prepare yourself properly for the conversation.
• Hold it in a quiet, calm place, and mute your mobile devices so that they don't distract you.
• Focus completely on what the other person is saying. Concentrate on their message and their body language, and empathize with the feelings and emotions that they're expressing.
• Note down key points, plus any thoughts you have, so that you're not tempted to try to hold these in your mind. Do not prepare your answers to the points made.
• As you're listening, also pay attention to your own emotions and note these down. Then let these go, and continue to focus on the other person.

Only once the person you're talking to has finished should you pick up your notes and address the points he or she made.

51. Understand How to Motivate People (Herzberg's Motivation-Hygiene Theory)

Although techniques such as role modeling and mindful listening are important, it is even more important to know what motivates your people. To do this, you need a solid understanding of the principles of human motivation.

There is a vast amount of research on motivation – it could be the subject of this entire book. In the interest of space, we focus on one classic approach, Frederick Herzberg's motivation-hygiene theory because it offers immediate, practical advice, especially in situations where morale is low. We also provide links below to several other important ideas and frameworks, such as Abraham Maslow's hierarchy, theories X and Y, and Sirota's three-factor theory.

Herzberg observed that the things that make people dissatisfied with their jobs (hygiene factors) are not the same things that make them happy with them (motivators). For example, people will be demotivated if they feel that they are being paid below the fair rate for their job, but paying them well above the market rate is likely to have only a limited or short-term motivational impact. Figure 9.1 shows Herzberg's factors for dissatisfaction and satisfaction.

So how do you use this model? The answer is to talk to your team members about themselves and how their work is going. If morale is poor and people seem unmotivated, listen particularly for the things that are making them unhappy. Ask appropriate questions to find out more, and then deal with these issues – there's no point trying to motivate and energize anyone until you've done this. Once you have, you can work on the positive motivators – for example, the way work is done and how jobs are designed.

Sure, it takes a lot of time to do these things, but using Herzberg's theory is one of the most important things you can do to transform unhappy, poorly functioning teams into enthusiastic, high-achieving ones.

52. Work Effectively with People from Different Generations (Understand Different Generational Characteristics)

Another important part of understanding what makes your people tick is to be conscious of their ages and experiences in the workplace and how this affects their views of the world.

Much of the advice in this book is based on the golden rule: We should treat others the same way we want others to treat us. This goes back to antiquity, and it is present in many different cultures and religions. It's a rule that can help us all, in everyday life and at work. (Sometimes we need to give firm feedback and make tough decisions. However, we can do this in a humane way.)

This is a great starting point for understanding other people, but we can go astray if we apply it too rigidly. For example, cultural differences across countries can be a rich source of misunderstanding, and it is important to be sensitive to these (we discuss this in #64). Another area of difference, and the focus here, is between people from different generations. Many writers have argued that there are significant differences between US baby boomers (born between 1946 and 1964), generation X (1965–1979) and generation Y (1980–1995), and these differences have a big impact on the motivations, interests, and expectations around work.

• In the United States, baby boomers started out in a workplace that was largely white and male. It is now much more diverse – in gender and ethnicity, in areas such as gay marriage and transgender rights, and in cultural heritage. Younger employees from generations X and Y, who were brought up in this new world, tend to have more socially liberal values, as well as higher self-esteem, self-confidence, and creativity.
• Baby boomers grew up in a stable workplace with reliable career paths, where people were expected to “pay their dues” before moving into more interesting jobs. Gen Yers' experiences have been much less stable, meaning that their bonds with organizations may be weaker. They are often focused on rapid career advancement, and they can be more individualistic and self-focused than older generations, with more willingness to change jobs and follow nonstandard career paths.
• Technological change, and the Internet in particular, has had a huge impact on how members of the younger generation make sense of the world. Gen Yers are often called “digital natives” because they grew up with consoles and keypads in their hands. Not only does this change the way they interact with others, but it also potentially makes them more capable than they may have been in the past, and perhaps less trusting of authority figures.
• Another interesting observation from research highlights changing attitudes to feedback and recognition. Baby boomers are less used to it and may not naturally expect to give much of it, whereas Gen Yers are used to huge amounts of (mostly positive) feedback, and they often expect it in real time.

Although these differences are important, a couple of points of caution are needed. First, in addition to these differences, there are things that stay more or less the same across generations. For example, research suggests that people of all generations value a good work–life balance. Everyone wants to be challenged and involved in decision making. Most people enjoy teamwork and collaboration, and who doesn't want to be fairly rewarded for the work they do?

Second, some observers have said that generational differences are overstated – they say we are simply observing differences between younger and older employees in the same workplace rather than generational shifts. They also suggest that by pandering to the supposed needs of the younger Gen Y employees, we run the risk of creating a self-fulfilling prophecy.

But assuming there is some truth to these arguments (and we believe there is), how can you use them to become a better boss? The answer is simply to factor them into your style of managing so that you can adapt to the particular expectations of the people who work for you. For example, if you are a baby boomer and you are managing a group of Gen Y employees, don't assume they see a stable, long-term role as a good thing; instead, see if you can be creative in offering them new opportunities in different areas. Also, don't resist their preference for working virtually or through microblogging sites (Gen Yers think e-mail is very old school), and be more proactive in giving recognition and praise.

If you can do this as a manager, not only will you be a better boss, but you'll also be much better at attracting talented people to your team and keeping hold of them once they're on board. This will make a huge difference to your team's performance!

53. Develop Emotional Intelligence

To be an effective manager, you need to be able to set a good example and know how to motivate and manage people as individuals. However, there's more that you need to do to be a manager people want to follow rather than one they have to follow; and this is where the idea of emotional intelligence is useful.

Popularized by Daniel Goleman in his 1996 book, emotional intelligence (EQ) is about being aware of and managing your own emotions and then dealing with others in a positive and skillful way. Managers who are not emotionally intelligent can be painful to work for – they can be volatile and unrealistic, they can fail to pick up on problems, and they create as many problems as they solve. No one wants to work for a manager like this, and such managers struggle to motivate their teams and retain good people. Meanwhile, managers with high EQ earn huge respect and support, and they find it easy to inspire people to achieve great things.

So what is EQ, and how can you develop it? Goleman describes five elements:

1. Self-awareness – People with high EQ are attuned to their own emotions and intuition. They “listen” to what their emotions are telling them and respond to the often insightful messages these convey. They are aware of their own strengths and weaknesses, and they manage these intelligently. Note that we looked at self-awareness in Chapter 1 – the big five personality model (which addresses openness, conscientiousness, extroversion, agreeableness, and neuroticism), personal SWOT (strengths, weaknesses, opportunities, and threats) analysis, journaling, and cognitive restructuring are all helpful ways of developing it.
2. Self-regulation – This is all about controlling your emotions and avoiding careless, impulsive decisions. We looked at this in Chapter 3 – stress diaries help you keep the stress you experience under control, the STOP method (stop, think, be objective, and plan) is a way of controlling your anger, and the inverted-U model helps you regulate the level of pressure you are under.
3. Motivation – People with high EQ are self-motivated – they know what they want, and they act to make it happen. Goal setting and self-confidence (#3 and #4) are the foundations for this, and we discussed the underlying theory of motivation above.
4. Empathy – This is the capacity to engage with the wants, needs, and emotions of the people around you. Empathy helps you understand what motivates them and how to address their needs. Clearly, listening effectively (#50) is a key part of this, as is paying attention to nonverbal communication. See the URLs below for more on this and other ways of developing empathy.
5. Social skills – These are about communicating effectively (see Chapter 11), resolving conflict effectively (#76), being appropriately assertive, and showing high levels of personal integrity (again, see the URLs below for more).

Emotional intelligence is a very broad concept, and as we noted above, it includes many of the specific skills and concepts described in this book. Developing these skills takes practice and experience, but they are all important elements of becoming an effective, respected manager.

Source: Adapted from Goleman 1995. Reproduced with permission of Pearson Education, Inc.

54. Motivate People to Go above and beyond (Transformational Leadership)

The techniques discussed in this chapter will take you a long way in terms of understanding and motivating people. But to get the very best from them, you need to go a bit further – you need to engage their passion and sense of meaning in life. This is where the notion of transformational leadership is useful.

Think about it from your own perspective. There are many factors that affect how hard you work, including the nature of the work itself, the extent to which you find it interesting, and the quality of your relationship with your colleagues. But in addition to all these factors, your boss's leadership skills are also likely to factor into the equation: Some bosses, for reasons we may not completely understand, inspire us to go that extra mile while others leave us cold.

According to influential psychologist Bernard Bass, there are four main things that you need to do to become a transformational leader:

1. Lead by example. You are a strong role model for the ethics, conduct, and behaviors you want from the people you lead, and this inspires people to identify with you and to want to emulate you (we looked at this in #49).
2. Stimulate your people intellectually. You push your people to be the best they can be by discussing ideas openly, challenging their assumptions in nonthreatening ways, pushing them to look at situations differently, and encouraging them to innovate. What's more – you support your people even when things go wrong as long as they work hard and do their honest best. We looked at some of the opportunities for doing this in Chapters 6-10.
3. Help your people grow as individuals. Get to know your people as individuals, pay attention to how they want to grow, and mentor and support them to help them reach their full potential. We'll look at this more in Chapters 12 and 13.
4. Inspire your people with a compelling vision of the future. By helping your team understand how the organization makes the world a better place, you provide a positive, attractive vision of the future that their hard work will help to realize. The good news is that many businesses – from refuse collection to food distribution to white goods manufacturing – have real meaning to them if you look for it (see #26 and #27 for translating mission statements down to the individual level).

Think about times in the past when you've been led by someone who uses this approach – it's so inspiring, and you probably worked very hard for this person. The great thing is that you can be this type of inspirational boss, and you can motivate this type of passion in your people as long as you put in the hard work needed for it.

Other Techniques for Understanding and Motivating Other People

Two key skills and techniques – reading body language and perspective taking – didn't make the cut in our survey when it comes to understanding and motivating other people. These are still highly important, and you can find out more about them at http://mnd.tools/c9c.