CHAPTER 6
THE CULT OF CEYK (CALL EVERYONE YOU KNOW)

CAREFUL WHERE YOU STEP; YOU’RE CRUSHING REFERRALS

UNTAPPED REFERRAL SOURCES AROUND YOU

For people who are new to professional services, those who are undergoing a business downturn, and those in need of short-term cash (one of the most difficult positions of all, since this isn’t a short-term cash business) I always recommend a fundamental discipline: call everyone you know.

The language you should use is: “I’m calling to let you know the kind of value I’m now providing for my clients with the hope that this might be useful to you or someone you know. If the former, I’d like to have an opportunity to meet with you. If the latter, I’d be appreciative if you could provide an introduction.”

One of the problems in a small town is that everyone knows everyone else. I live in Rhode Island, too small to be a real state of the union and more like a state of mind. But the principle is the same: it’s hard to hide. If you have a mistress or a lover, it’s best to avoid local eyes by meeting them some distance away—say, Toronto. Similarly, you want to catch yourself before exhibiting undue anger or a rude digit to someone who cuts you off, since it could be the police chief, your bank lending officer, one of your kid’s teachers, or your probation officer.

Similarly, if you go around burning bridges in your life, it’s going to be very difficult to ferry referrals across the rapids.

You should engage in CEYK at least twice a year. I find that quarterly is not too often if you do it right, with the mindset I’ve tried to establish with you: I have tremendous value, and I’d be remiss if I didn’t present it to as many people as I can, particularly those I know.

If you’re not careful about where you “step,” you may be crushing these fragile referral sources.

You can end your referral journey with these untapped (or too infrequently tapped) sources prematurely by

• Ignoring them.

• Acknowledging them but never using the language given previously.

• Insulting them.

• Creating the impression that they can’t help you. (If you brag about doing business only with billiondollar global firms, which isn’t exactly accurate, why should local $100 million firm owners come to you?)

• Being nonresponsive. I seldom provide referrals to anyone who doesn’t get back to me to acknowledge them or who never actually bothers to call them.

• Becoming subordinated to a competitor who doesn’t make these mistakes and mines the sources far better than you.

• Mismanaging perceptions about yourself and failing to blow your own horn.

• Doing poor work and having people complain about you.

I’m all for freedom of speech, but I have to wonder about shopkeepers who post partisan political signs in their businesses during heated and antagonistic election periods. The signs will seldom sway anyone to vote in any way other than what he intends, but they will sway people to stop patronizing the business of someone who “pokes them in the eye” with competing beliefs when they voluntarily enter the shop.

If you’re depending on people to help your business, then stay out of their business!

On the positive side, here’s what you should be doing to tap the referral sources all around you. After all, you can never tell when someone who knows someone finds out that what she needs is what you have.

• Volunteer for local charities, fund-raisers, and arts groups.

• Write positive and constructive letters to the editors of local publications. I can’t tell you how many people have stopped me to say, “That was a terrific letter; I’m referring others to it.”

• Sponsor an event, a ball team, or a performance. My wife and I are sponsoring a ballerina in her twentieth season with the local ballet company.

• Serve on boards and commissions. Use your expertise to help groups that need it, and enable others to see that expertise in action.

• Refer people to others, just as you’d like done to you. Make sure you personally introduce them to get the credit and set the proper expectations of reciprocity.

• Do a favor. Watch a pet during someone’s vacation, help to restore a building, give someone a recommendation for school, or provide financial support.

• Provide your home for an event, loan a possession for the theater’s props, or find auction items for a fund-raiser.

• Send out press releases about your business, accolades, clients, and so forth to local sources.

Here are some often-untapped referral sources that are all around you. I’m suggesting that you assiduously and regularly solicit them all for business and referrals. Remember: revenue and referrals are equally important to your business.

You should be starting to get my drift. Many of these people you see regularly (even daily), some irregularly, and some only on special occasions. That’s why you should proactively let them know how and what you’re doing.

Too many consultants are embarrassed to do this. Why? Either because they think the community around them is irrelevant, or because they believe that it’s an imposition on the other party. Yet, insurance agents, Realtors, auto salespeople, and even restaurateurs acquire the preponderance of their clients and customers in this manner.

If it’s good enough and effective for them, it’s good enough and effective for you. Take the list given here, add to it your personal contacts that might not appear there, and then put a check mark next to each one you’ve clearly asked for business and referrals over the past six months. I’m betting the number is fewer than five.

That’s not a bet in your favor.

CREATING “SOFT” REFERRAL REQUESTS

There are times when you can create referral requests that are somewhat muted, less assertive, and casual. However, one caveat: I am not suggesting that these are alternatives for those who may be uneasy being more assertive. That is NOT my point. You must be very assertive in pursuing referrals, just as you should be in pursuing business. I’m instead suggesting that there are appropriate times to be a “kinder, gentler” referral pursuer!

If you’re “in the moment,” either professionally or personally, when you interact with others, you’ll no doubt find opportunities and possibilities where you can suggest a referral. Here are the most common scenarios, but bear in mind that you should adjust my process here to your particular circumstances.

1. The Innocent Mention

Someone mentions to you in the course of other matters that a friend or acquaintance is looking for some kind of help. You have two options here:

• Make a mental note (in a social environment) or a physical note (in a business environment), and return to this when the immediate conversation has ended, but while you’re still together (or on the phone). Say, “By the way, if I heard you correctly, Tom needs some assistance getting over his speaking nervousness. I’d be happy to talk to him about it.”

• Stop the conversation at the moment the need is mentioned (in a social or business environment); say, “Excuse me, but before I lose that thought … “; and then continue with the previous statement.

2. The Mistaken Direction

You find out that someone is actively seeking help. You might hear, “I was talking to Joanne, who’s hard to pin down because she’s going crazy trying to set up a leadership retreat… .”

Then you reply, “You might not realize that I have experience in the area and could probably greatly reduce her time investment and concerns about this….”

3. The Unspoken Need

You’re in a meeting, casual or formal, business or social, and there is a recurring issue: a lack of progress, continuing conflict, a lack of planning, or any of a host of other challenges and problems. You suggest the following, “It seems to me we’re constantly frustrated by a lack of support from the other group’s leader. My specialty is mediation and conflict resolution, and I’d be happy to take this on as a formal project if you think it’s at the point where informal approaches aren’t going to work. If so, is someone willing to introduce me to Janet, whose budget would be involved in enabling this work?”

4. The Observed Weakness

You find that someone in a key position (e.g., a peer of the buyer, a friend of a friend, or a colleague’s colleague) is experiencing an obvious difficulty that is unspoken but can be readily observed. You offer to intervene as someone who is not vested in any particular outcome other than improving that person’s condition and performance. You ask, “If you’ll simply introduce me and my expertise, I’ll be happy to privately pursue whether he will accept help, either overtly or covertly.”

5. Between the Lines

You read something in the press, from client sources, or on the Internet that prompts you to believe that a key need is developing. For example, you read that a prominent local firm, because of technology advances, has reorganized and now has 350 excess people. There is great concern about their future.

You know someone who works there, or who once worked there, or who knows someone there, and you ask for an introduction, with the intent of getting yourself in front of a senior executive who would be concerned about the ethical approach and public opinion. You explain to all concerned your skills in assessment, placement, and counseling.

6. The Schmooze

You’re sitting in a public area waiting for your car to be serviced (or your hair to be cut or your paperwork to be processed), and you overhear people expressing a need, such as, “The school committee meeting is going to be chaotic again because no one takes charge, the audience simply yells its disapproval, and the acoustics are terrible.”

You ask what school meeting they are talking about, who the chairperson is, and whether they personally know that individual, to see if you can at least use their name in making contact, since you are an expert facilitator.

7. The Network

You’re at a professional association meeting, and you’ve learned from past meetings who the real “players” are. You make a point of entering into informal discussions and listening for those situations that they cannot (or choose not to) handle. You request an introduction to the owner of the issue, so that everyone can look good. If you speak to enough of these people at enough meetings, you’ll usually find a number of referrals that are inappropriate business for them, but good for you.

8. Reciprocal Obligation

You make a point of learning what others do, assuring yourself of their quality, then referring prospects to them, mentioning your name or through your introduction, which you then follow up on assiduously. If you do this with several people, you will find referrals in reciprocity heading your way. Ensure that your colleagues are successful and experienced so that they can reciprocate!

9. The Suggested Improvement

No one is asking for anything, but you see a situation that could be drastically improved through your expertise. You demonstrate to an intermediary (again, in either a business or a social environment) what the dramatic improvement would be. Example: you show someone on the steering committee at your club how to raise funds more effectively and more quickly, and you ask for an introduction to the club president, whom you’ve never met, on that basis.

10. Serendipity: Do Ask, Do Tell

Examine every relationship for opportunity. (Remember, the mental set is that you have tremendous value that you’d be remiss not to offer.) When we were introduced by a friend to Marshall Goldsmith, the renowned coaching expert, a couple of us asked for some help or favors. He revealed that he had always done the same thing during his career, and he quickly offered his help. (He is a prince of a guy.)

Ask for introductions as a matter of course during your interactions with others as you learn more about them and their contacts. What’s the worst that can happen? You certainly can’t be any worse off, and you may be a whole lot better off.

Whom can you make a casual inquiry of later today or tomorrow morning who will allow you to experiment and test these approaches? I’ll wager that there are a lot more people in that category than you think.

USING SOCIAL AND CIVIC MECHANISMS

Let’s focus for a few pages on nonbusiness referrals and “call everyone you know.” You’re meeting people every day who have the potential to help you, some of whom are obvious and some not.

Civic Positions

I served on our town’s planning board for several years, eventually serving as vice chair and then as chair before “retiring.” (I could have stayed far longer, but I believe these positions demand regular turnover to create diversity in local government.) We met biweekly, and in the course of my volunteer position, I met

You get the idea. This is typical of most of small-town America. In most of these categories, there were the “usual faces” (e.g., this type of law was a specialty, and only a handful of attorneys represented most applicants; the same with engineers).

During the course of a year, I probably met 500 people and became very familiar with 50. They, in turn, learned of my background and my work. (It’s a very good idea to Google board members and find out what is likely to influence and persuade their votes.) I didn’t need to serve as the chair to gain these contacts and familiarity—there were only eight board members, and the hearings were quite intimate.

This is an excellent vehicle for meeting others, spreading your repute, and asking for referrals under appropriate conditions. If you don’t think that’s possible, just watch the attorneys!

Volunteer Nonprofit Work

I served on the board of a shelter for battered women for a couple of years. As part of my service to the organization, I volunteered my strategy skills so that there wasn’t the need to spend money to hire a consultant or seek more funding from external sources.

The strategy retreat, with its preparation and follow-up, wasn’t any easier than a for-fee project, but it did showcase my abilities and approaches for the board. I was introduced to the local police chief. He told me that he always had a representative on the board, since a seat was assigned to the police department. He explained that he was seeking relatively rare federal accreditation for his department, and that a strategic plan was a required element.

“Chief,” I delicately pointed out, “I’m afraid I can’t do any more pro bono work this year.”

“Oh, I have a grant that should take care of the fee,” he smiled.

I went to work, and that police force is now accredited.

Private Clubs

A great many of us belong to a variety of clubs, some associated with sports (golf or racquetball), good deeds (Lions or Elks), business responsibility (Rotary), education (college), interests (art), dining, and other areas. Most of them are quite easy to join—I’m not talking about 12 references and a souvenir menu from the Mayflower. (And I’m always cognizant of Groucho Marx’s great observation that he wouldn’t want to be a member of any club that agreed to have him as a member!)

Aside from the obvious potential for schmoozing with members and finding people who can help you, there is a much more prominent and less labor-intensive approach in these organizations. It’s reminiscent of Mickey Rooney and Judy Garland solving all problems with the admonition, “Let’s put on a show!”

My “show” is an enrichment experience. Most of these clubs embrace luncheon speakers (some of them also welcome non-members to speak), members who can host special evenings, and other benefits for the membership. There is often an educational component in the year’s planning for these organizations.

Volunteer to provide 90 minutes in a private room on a voluntary basis on your specialty—leadership, communication, investing, safety, whatever. Have the session advertised in the club’s newsletter and on its website for at least a month prior to the event.

You may sell someone in the room during your presentation, but more likely you’ll create a “buzz” and word of mouth that will reach well beyond your actual attendance. The publicity, the event, and the feedback will create significant referral possibilities.¹

In these clubs, you have a triple opportunity: serve on a board or committee, network with members, and create an “enrichment” experience. That’s a great return on your dues, not even considering the other benefits!

You live in your community every day. There are opportunities all around you. If your mental set is that you have tremendous value to provide to people and you must alert them to it, you’ll become quite calm and quite adept at using your immediate surroundings as a primary source of referrals.

LANGUAGE TEMPLATE

I’ve periodically suggested language throughout the book, but I also want to “congregate” it in certain places so that you can ponder it and integrate it into your own style.

Let me repeat: language controls discussion, discussion controls relationships, relationships control business, and the best business consists of both revenue and referrals.

Here are general rules for the best language for referrals, which I’ll follow with specific examples:

• Create an expectation early in your discussions; never spring a referral request on a client.

• Accentuate the “three-way win”: for the referral source, the referral, and you.

• Focus on value, not increased business.

• Focus on probable reciprocity and appreciation.

• Stress the referrals that your client has received from others as a professional courtesy.

• In nonbusiness settings, focus on the nature of collegiality and mutual assistance.

• Always try to provide options—a “choice of yeses.”

• Always try to have a specific date and time for follow-up, if needed.

Here is the language I’d recommend specifically for the philosophy of CEYK in both personal and professional circumstances. Adapt the language as appropriate for the setting, from client to neighbor, from colleague to family member.

Joan, we hadn’t spoken in a while before I called you, but I’ve heard you speak three times now of that executive who is so persuasive one-on-one but who has so much trouble addressing groups. It sounds like it’s been going on far too long, and perhaps is impeding his career. Why not introduce me? I think I can probably help him quickly.

Tim, this is Joanne. I read that you had set a record for placements in the month of June. Congratulations! I’ve tried to send as many people as I can to you. Tell me, which of your clients do you think could best profit from the value I’m providing today, with even more credit accruing to you in the process?

I wanted to make a quick announcement before we break for lunch. I’ve launched a new service for colleagues and associates of most of you in this room, and I’ve provided a free sample and demonstration on my website. I’d like you to try it as my advance appreciation of anyone you can recommend who may require these services for his or her own growth.

Tina, I appreciate your willingness to provide referrals, and to make it as simple and painless as possible. Here are the criteria that have worked best for me: a senior vice president or profit center head; someone with stated needs to improve customer service; and someone who is successful and oriented toward stellar growth.

James, I know you don’t normally do this, and I greatly appreciate your willingness to consider referrals for me. We can do this in a combination of four approaches, based on your comfort level: a personal introduction; an introduction by phone or mail; permission to use your name; and your permission for selected others to call you. Let’s discuss who falls into which category.

Doctor, before I leave, I want to take two minutes to explain the kind of improvement my company is providing for small business owners. I’ve been very happy to have referred patients to you in the past, and I’d be grateful if you would keep my business in mind for those people who may ask you about issues of growth, valuation, and exit strategies.

Carl, I’m coming in for my tax appointment on the fifth at 10, and I’d like you to set aside an extra 15 minutes at the end so that we can discuss some mutual referral support. I’ve sent people to you in the past on a random and spontaneous basis, but I’d like to formalize that and perhaps set up the basis for reciprocal referrals.

Wanda, it’s amazing to consider that all of the fine work we’ve done together was made possible by my being referred to you by your cousin, whom I met at our kids’ soccer match! But that’s happened more frequently in my business than I ever expected. Who do you know among your family, friends, and colleagues whom you’d recommend that I contact, and what role would you be willing to play?

We have more in common in terms of synergy in our businesses than I ever would have suspected. This event tonight isn’t the time or the place, but can we select a good time to have lunch or grab coffee to discuss how we might share prospects? I’m around all this week. Do you have your calendar with you?

Jenny, after I speak at your event, what are the chances of your introducing me to your outside board members? I believe there’s a reception afterward, and it would be great to have an introduction that provides perspective on the results we’ve produced during the project.

Peter, the club offers a variety of educational and enrichment events by outsiders. How about one of “our own” doing one? I’d be happy to customize something for the members, since I know them so well. Would you be willing to schedule it and promote it on the club website and in the newsletter that goes out with the monthly billing? I’ll provide free books and materials if we can get a minimum of 20 people to attend.

What do you see in this language? You can surmise that these are confident requests, oriented toward benefit, value, and outcomes, not sales or meetings. There is a reliance on a peer-level relationship. There is never embarrassment or obsequiousness.

When you’re preparing for a meeting, you can practice the language or even include some of it in your notes and materials for the session. But if you’re “in the moment” at a club, event, or chance meeting, you have to be prepared to extemporize. Here are the important elements to always remember:

• Request. Make your request apparent and specific.

• Follow-up. If it is not possible to pursue this opportunity immediately, establish a specific date and time to follow up. (That means always having your own electronic or physical calendar available. That’s easy to do with an iPhone or similar device.)

• Provide options. Anticipate that someone may or may not want to be further involved, and minimize any inconvenience or awkwardness through options.

• Reciprocity. Where possible, demonstrate what you’ve already done for this person and/or would be likely to do in the future.

• Perseverance. Take the time you need. If necessary, specify in advance that you’ll need some extra time.

• Gratitude. Send a “thank you” and keep your referral source aware of your progress.

IF AND WHEN TO PAY REFERRAL FEES

In many cases—perhaps in most cases—people make referrals for you without expecting a quid pro quo financial gain. They may certainly expect a “thank you” and the reciprocity that such referrals should entail wherever possible. But your doctor, club buddy, senior management buyer, or similar person usually doesn’t expect a lagniappe. (I used to go to a dentist who gave the women a rose when they recommended a new patient. It’s the thought that counts.)

Having made this point, there are times—and I’ve referred to them in Chapter 6—where fees are a consideration. Let’s conclude this chapter about contacting everyone you know, professionally and personally, with some guidelines on what can be a sensitive and even infuriating interaction.

First and foremost, the ethics that guide my actions:

1. Never provide any kind of monetary reward (including expensive gifts—that’s why the rose is harmless) for organizational employees who are referring you elsewhere, whether within their organization or outside it. Such a gift or payment will often violate organizational policy, but it’s not right under any circumstances. You can’t pay your client’s employees, at any level, for leads or referrals. They should do it at your request or of their own volition based on the quality of your work. The referred party will think that’s the reason. This includes providing anything discounted or for free, such as a lower price on a project, a free workshop, complimentary coaching, and so on.

2. Never provide a fee to another consultant (or other professional services provider) who has been asked to find resources and has chosen you (or offers to choose you for a fee). The client believes that the existing consultant’s recommendation is based on quality and objectivity, not on financial self-interest. This type of kindness should be repaid with reciprocity where appropriate, but not with cash on the barrelhead. There should be complete transparency in referrals, and that means embarrassing and inappropriate financial connections would be immediately obvious.

If you agree at all with my ethical stance, then those who remain are people who are not doing business with the referral (although they may know him well). This includes a great many people, most of whom will be excluded from further financial consideration by my first paragraph in this segment.

So how do we deal with those who may both merit and enjoy (or demand) financial consideration, such as

Mutual friends

Customers

Industry experts

Professionals who no longer conduct business there

Professional colleagues

Analysts

Serendipity

My recommendation is that you employ a formula, so that your position is consistent and objective, and is based on the true value provided by the third party only if and when a project is commissioned.

Here are my standards:

• For the name of a buyer with a legitimate need for your value, whom you contact and with whom you create a business relationship: 5 to 10 percent of that project’s revenue

• For an introduction in person or by phone or e-mail that hastens your ability to meet a buyer and quickly establish your credibility, and business ensues: 10 to 15 percent of that project’s revenue

• For virtually closing the deal and singing your praises, so that you merely need to meet the buyer to consummate the business, 15 to 20 percent of that project’s revenue

Note that I recommend a range within which to work; clear criteria for the ranges; payment only on performance; and restricting the payment to that project’s initial revenues. This last item is vital, because you should not be paying on repeat business, more referrals, and so on. If the initial business is $100,000 in category 1, then $5,000 or so is worth paying. But if it’s only a speech for $15,000, then $1,000 is more appropriate. Any business you create from that speech is, well, your business.

If you’re asked whether you provide referral fees, be somewhat coy. Say that it depends, based upon the quality and the conditions. There are some people who simply throw names out, hoping to get lucky, with you (and others like you) doing all the work. But there will be times—infrequently—when such payments make sense, are appropriate, and may well stimulate more such referrals in the future.

You need to be prepared for all contingencies. Just don’t give away the farm to someone who tells you that the sun has risen.